a billet doux received via grunting porcine individual / let the devil guide me, for a change /1. the mob is in a right mess / the tanned warriors / one of you is going to get badly beaten tonight, and it ain’t gonna be me / secret scorpion / I raised one index finger to my lips to indicate that I wanted my boyfriend to shut the hell up / Hades smells like my father-in-law’s bedsit / snake skin cuddles / snakes in jackets / question 2:- why doesn’t the Dali Lama ever grow a beard? / the Dali Lama has a massive ginger beard now / Lloyd Honeypot and murdered clowns (fear of clouds)/kingdom of backwards-speaking dogs/ one system of ‘whatever’/maps bloody maps / 6 month orgy / the diva insisted on her peanuts being circular rather than, er, peanut shaped / smoked fish reminded me of Aunty Olivia / inland chimps / my father has began to sport an Iranian comb-over/ wore my cardigan on the moon / neck curtains / boil my dinner / used Ouija board..£1.99 / FX glands / amphibian glands / sock pocket (dish of the week) / recollections of the meat circuit/ I made my way around the world with just a duck and a spoon for company/ how can a toilet be disabled? – ask your local and friendly plumber / men in horse pants should be taken at face value/permanent Jesus / the hot oil was poured onto the janitor’s toe nails / trail of dumplings (Dixieland) / snacking on reformed (or is that deformed?) chicken / adult ware horse / worn-out horse buried alive in back garden / adult maps / singing like a child / rate my tits / Christian twisted knobs/ memories of a dark and troubled journey down to Hades 9and that was just the start of it, obviously) / fat lily-skinned ugly English gals