Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Zorro Unit

'Zorro Unit'

as I walked through the parlour door I realised I had bad egg all over my eye-cups / please take a brochure and then chuck yourself off the nearest cliff / Paul Bailey AKA Morty UK sits up all night playing on-line video games with Bleeding Tom Mills AKA The laughing Gob and a bunch of teenaged Americans (sad fish festival with Adam Clank and the spoon-fed little demons ..which are actually pretty damned cute) / please take your time when urinating onto the effigy of the dying Christ /  I took my crucifix and attached it to the head of a dying sommelier (what a beautifully-constructed trap-door this is) / please take your time when choosing your method of suicide// black powder / I queued up with the Canadian grandmothers and the men who thought they looked great in cowboy gear (but didn’t)/ 1990s was a good decade for selling funky mushrooms (b s) /yes, I’m the other Bacon Burger kid who they didn’t tell you about / kids from Hades on last train home/  I painted my toe nails white.. I wanted to come join your party, but the party had abruptly finished at 9pm when your new girlfriend attempted to murder a man she recognised from her troubled childhood /Bleeding Tom Mills AKA The Laughing Gob is basically an over-grown child (sitting up all nite playing video games on-line with American teenagers) – this is probably why he has 3 children (he can relate to them very easily, what with being a big baby himself) / why are my teeth so thoroughly (come on kids) gay? /  I just saw a French hooker who looks exactly like your mum / we decided to place a concrete sculpture of a randy-looking ape on the Trafalgar Square plinth /Christian Gristle (Christmas Gristle) / too ka bite of peach and then watched classic exploitation flick ‘Changing Sex’ for the 5th time /  I took off my plimsolls and mopped the brow of the bucking zombie who was being held down by six burly Scottish Highland Games competitors (who hadn’t yet had their breakfast) / who is reading this crap (is it Bleeding Tom Mills AKA The Laughing Gob / here is a fact for you to read.. Bleeding Tom Mills AKA The Laughing Gob has a degree in ‘The History of the Clandestine Species of the Long-Forgotten (perhaps) Ancient Secret World’..but he does a really menial government job which involves him staring at a computer all day and occasionally walking around with a clip-board and looking ‘queer’ / Japanese tourists have shave doff their little tiny war moustaches – how do you feel about that, daddy? / father is milking the cow with one hand and turning the screw with the other /hey conchie, would you like a bite o’ my cattle pie (to help bring your strength up to speed?) /sped-up teens / the foulest swoop/German octogenarians eating Bratwurst in London municipal parks (powdered rebirth of the puff punks) 

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