Monday, 29 July 2013

Films of David Lynch


 emptied my nan’s pockets and out fell the following:- 1 packet of koala beans, 2 cigarette lighters, 4 condoms / Jello Biafra/ I heard a rumour that Jesus Christ had massive feets / did you just pick your snout in public? / 5 uses for a pig / Samantha ignored me as I floated away in the bath tub / I sold my nan’s cardigans for some koala beans / I sold my mother’s antique piglet for a can of koala beans / jerked off at 4.46am /  nun school party /  / flirting with chimpanzees / risible laughter emanating from a cuckoo kid ./ 3 things I have never ever witnessed:- 1. a gorilla wearing Bermuda shorts, eating a crab sandwich 2. a gorilla wearing a space suit, watching repeats of ‘Cheers’ 3. a gorilla wearing a towel, waiting to get a foot massage / saved my Bella / if someone put a gun to your head, would you admit that you’re a humanoid? / gun foot crap shoot crab sandwich gorilla training school / it’s a bad idea to puke in your space helmet /  rubber chickens littered the graveyard (for some unknown reason) / I removed my space helmet, combed my hair and opened a p[packet of rich tea biscuits/  covered in slime and dog poop / I couldn’t decide whether to get a hand job or a nose job / created by a man called Big God / blind chair / I hate you because you look like me, only slightly better / you should keep an eye on your face, it’s starting to look like a pickled egg / always keep your eyes up to the sky at night time / 1986 –grinning children riding their bikes around the abandoned industrial estate / 1987 joined the club (pickled mojo) / talking aloud on the bus home / teenager in his infancy / spoon-fed daydreamers / chubby children eating the moon (because some other kid told them it was made of cheese)put your lips around the honeywhistle /the insatiable itch made me forget to turn the TV set off / computers are for idiots / carnified in Soweto Baptist ministry / gorilla’s itch / crispy secrets of Goldilocks (dope byway)/Dutch Opposition and Sister Squares are Reconciled  / funny mulch / spoon-feeding breakfast to frogs / ghosts are so childish..these days/ these days (are a smoker’s eye) /  furry mulch / /Christ was a witch doctor / human cry baby /  I stuck my ears to the floor, so I would know where to find them later /throwing shapes into the ocean / only idiots hate drum and  bass /  my humid day off / stroke the sun (Baby God) / …every time I float up to touch the paw of God-Dog / Asians travelling backwards (kipper flex) / King Kong showed off his jewels / midnight sunshine (River Rat) /Jazz heathen (jazz for heathens)/ Eskimo scratching his balls whilst eating some nice seal meat (please note the preferred nomenclature for an Eskimo these days is ‘Inuit’). /his gun went off by accident and it killed the mannequin /wet wiping the hobo / booty on a corpse /he polished his eyeballs and then went to try and find a new lady / breakfast hamburger (gabba grief) / parasite jazz /slipped out of my greasy pyjamas and made love to Grandma Adams / Bleeding Tom Mills (AKA The Laughing Gob) hates the internet because it ruins his social life.. do you understand?? / I have always preferred the hateful gods (buying Porcini cassettes from a dirty –looking Englishman) / who needs education when you can get cheap shots of liquor? / lent my nonagenarian grandmother my treasured Wu Tang cassette collection..  / treasured dead horse

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