Friday, 23 August 2013

Calvity King (Nick Cave bald 1)

'Calvity King (Nick Cave Bald 1)'

My dad was the 68th man on the moon / kids wearing adult size gloves (in the moon) / walkin’ around Egypt on mushroom / walking around Egypt on acid/  sat up all night eating dirt (at the edaphic snack bar)/,men who wear turtle hats are not permitted to join the Under 30s club (even if they are aged 3under 30)  / reborn in 1883 /i think she ahs had one too many avian flu jabs / I get more sex than all the other dogs in the cemetery put together/my best friend Gary was a very poor wicket keeper, but he had an excellent way with the ladies / catching balls which were dropped from the heavens by a man sitting in a box window/kittens ‘n’ chickens/man with no mouth/ the devil’s rumble/ polish coat / polish coconut/ eyes in my mouth/welcome to new member..who will be known as ‘Chicken Tits’ / I only answer to the pseudonym ‘Curly Charles’ (on account of my very curly hairstyle)Chinese hand relief/  chocco starfish /  triumph underground / underground boredom /bored of the   onions /my 88 year-old granddad is hanging around on street corners dealing heroin and listening to Shaba Ranks cassettes ('people could really toast back in my day') / kids in the pea pocket / rinsing my hands at 6.10am / nana has a curious fondness for the terrible infants / Siamese  tits Siamese chickens / the donkey meat was surprisingly moist/ sometimes we go to dinner in our fairy slacks / cave for babies(cave full of babies) / harlequin moon/map x (Gus Claudius is walking around Basingstoke with a bag of gems which were given to him by an ancient relative. He plans to distribute these gems to the vagrants of Basingstoke) / cucumber opposition/Victorian armpits / TS I Heidi heehaw/the forgotten world- teeth like spaghetti / teach me how to look after  my toes  properly/smacked in the mouth by a man wearing a leather gauntlet / I haven’t got any eggs for you, but I will let you sit on my daughter’s lap for a bit/blood apple / a little polish and spit will take care o’ that / teenage priest / I took a bit of cherry pie and then laid back and waited for ‘House of the Teds’ to begin/Saturday:- shopping for eggs with the teenagers I met on the shuttle bus in Tokyo. Sunday:- collecting feathers from the abandoned beach.  / jazz pastry/dirty feet and bad egg breath / Stuart’s Memory –issued a request to come see the dead prisoner’s immaculate corpse/T:- Christopher ‘Hallow Pie’ Gilbert is completely obsessed with ‘Devil’s Rumble’ by Davie Allan and the Arrows / shallow pie/back from the dead in Derby / have you noticed how everyone is the same?/Toe Bar (the place where the feet come to drink) / me, Ronnie Wood and Chicken Shack Joseph are eating drugs and reminiscing about the Glory Times/cowboy in fresh jeans (a message from stranded astronauts) /fresh kiss/ ten things dragged up from the bottom of the river:- 1. a dead man, 2. some fish boots 3. a small vial of crack cocaine 4. a used library book 6. a rusty St Lucifer on a chain 7. a glass eye attached to a piece of string 9. a ‘velvet candy’ cassette 10. some peas / iron-on face / today’s recommendation. If you see a worried-looking goth kid..walk up to him or her and insert your thumb into their anus / job-lot of scarred babies- £15.99-the lot (job lot) / Akkad, the smallest mouse in India / I unrolled my tongue and allowed the ants to walk across it/  sometimes we scrape the congealed fat off, sometimes we just eat it / a poisoned humdinger/the addled meat was surprisingly delicious / I poisoned my wife and then started my new career as an advisor to NASA/old-fashioned dogs/ sorting the dogs –one pile for yellow dogs, one pile for black ones/Arse Nick /

Saturday, 17 August 2013

Chrissy's Dream

'Chrissy's Dream'

'Russia Dust (60)'

'Barker's Madness'

'Are the Speed Kings'

Blue Indian punk poetry club.. 'hello, may name is Sid Daniels.  i would like to share my latest epoee with you. i wrote this on the back of a greasy spoon menu:- 'what is a dog doing sitting in my chair? why is it sitting there and why should i care? because it is my chair, the best one i got. the chair is for me, not for a dog. i sit in it on a Wednesday and a Friday too. now it is covered in dog poo' / drinking sweet tea with some heterosexual West Africans and a bloke that used to work with my uncle / re-imagined Poppa Harrison Dog House lyrics (i am suddenly reminded  of a raised fist in Year 02 ..the never-ending shit part 2)..walking down a cold street in a hot city. i met a woman she wasn't so pretty. had teeth like an Englishman and deformed feet. i could tell she didn't like me so i took a a small cafe which smelt of shit.. looked at the menu, licked my lips.. boiled eggs and ham..a favourite of mine.. ordered it with me last dime. suddenly the ugly lady approaches me. can i have some food? she asks, looking at me. yes, i reply..what would you like? a piece of cake and a brand new bike. you can't eat a bike, is what i say. you can if you put your mind to it, Ray.  how did you know that my name was Ray? i knew all along..

Monday, 12 August 2013

Rum and Poop

'36 / Waltz and GU'

'Are You My Acid Trip?'

'Ha Ha Horra'

'Rum and Poop'

'Switch the TV OFF Mother'

'Cottaging..for want of a better word'

Christopher 'The Candy Thief' Gilbert's Big Time Diary 1963:- day 1..had sex with the jazz enthusiast. went out for a taco (with my big fat sister Frieda). had sex with the coconut salesman.  Day 2..drew a charcoal drawing of an otter being sliced open with a bowie knife. went out for a burrito with my pal Elvis Jones. made a ham and cheese quiche for the oprhan. Day 3.. covered my finger-nails in correction fluid and then shaved off my beard and slipped into the slumber party. / echo of a dying rat / pudding flood / did you really need to get all frisky on me, teacher?/my lover wants no action as i am currently suffering from jungle breath / how to survive in a drum and bass club / how to survive a rave when you have ran out of drugs / topped up my drug money by selling a little arse on the street (Monaco Mong) / come sit on my lap and allow me to regale you with stories of my life amongst the dustbins (her reply was 'no thank you grandpa, i am busy having sex with my new boyfriend'. i felt this was a perfectly acceptable reason for turning my generous offer down..after all; i would much rather be fucking than listening to an old man droning on about his previous life as a filthy mendicant with numerous STDs and what-not) / carefree baby corpse

Friday, 9 August 2013

Hawkwind - Sleepless Mornings

'Spy Hole Memories'

'C.O. Forgotten Yrs'

'Skegness 1991'

'Hawkwind (Sleepless Mornings)'

'Fuzz Art'

'Hiss Art'

we couldn’t go for a burrito as we were ‘snowed in’ / the weird little lady didn’t mind sucking off the scum  / blind manta the buffet / sick of reason / listening to computer-generated classical music at 3.33pm / coughing in the afternoon / he sang something about looking for a boy in the trees / avoiding hellcat on the way home from the prison/ we discovered the spaceman weeping over a crumpled black and white photograph of his dead enemy / we sit in the vegetable garden and weep (whilst listening to somebody  nearby playing a  Hammond organ) / discussing test cricket with the reformed sped freak / AIDS test cricket / AIDS flower./ I photographed the teenagers (who were sitting around waiting for trains and bum-sucking used cigarettes) / who is the dream magnet?? / I tire of men named ‘Dave’ / Frank Zappa probably is not actually dead / black poster kids/ he licked his lips every time he contemplated Vietnam / sugar in your veins / angry young bearded men/skip to 4 – there are no Christians in China (there are no Christians in Japan) yeah yeah / hot flash / castles coated in scum/Spell in the navy (nortical wizard) / sweet bum flesh / revenge of modern man / children in the navy / bent by despair/ I put eggs in your sandals  / the international stink bomb / 1. concrete inspection / The solution is not as follows (now I am 30)  Kid Kennedy and honey exchange / zero honey (munch) / Kris Kringle gave me something that I shall never forget /I hope Babbo Natale brings me some really good wines this year / vulgar incision / stung by the jazz wasp /you can’t butter all of this bread in one afternoon, mother (While we do not wish in any way to detract from devotion to Our Lady, we would also wish to avoid anything which might lead to superstition) /  what is the point of speaking if you have nothing good to say? / what is the point of stealing from the buffet when you have your own party (with buffet) to go to in half an hour? / buffet food is healthy / what is a foot? / my step-father insists one eating his meals from paper plates / angry young buffalo chicken –cannot fly to NYC /  pimps of Nashville / I suppose it is much easier for Baby Jesus to fit down the chimney / awkward spaceman /Moroccan shadows / when will the dude come home and give us our sausages? / you got to sanguify the newborn infant / as I washed my eyelids I came to the realisation that my father had not shaved for over 3 moths / gorgeous Emu/turtles of India / Robrt DeNiro is walking around Sutton Bridge in a v-neck jumper/ Zorns Lemma (abandon your toothbrush and come with me – white flesh) / corpse walking backwards / we tied ribbons around her bones / shoe flesh /’s all about the backward glances at the back seat of the bus / Pynchon’s rules are continually disregarded / blackest of all webs / mysterious white boy in the city / red-faced old man in field / don’t comes Thomas Pynchon / casket case breath /  casket breath / coffin breath/dormant ghost / zoo breath / we caught the Indian kids dropping cubes of sugar into the corpse’s mouth / Giles and Kitty Wake stubbing out fags in a dead man’s eye / emerging victors from the slime pit /animal up at the top of the stairs / stiffy in the coma / coma bones/ comb your bones / feathered bones / tour bus bones / bleeding through the magazine /  take it and go, horse / I never did look you straight in the eye / concrete maps / I try to fish with my mind / I forgot to relate the story of doom to the six year old child / moot joint / I stood up and recognised the cognate species from afar/bulldozer wings / I seem to have transformed from black to white overnight (Chinese bells) / hopping around the charnel house  ..we were then told the story of ‘Bubble Baby’ for the 18th time this week / China man’s snout is whiskery and dun-coloured/ a list of my seventeen favourite new bands:- Mirrored Pussy, Egyptian Gloves, Smoking Hate Tee, Pissed Wolf, E Clipse Eye, Voodoo Wrangler, The Gloved Hands of Dr Death, Mumbling Emperor, Shifty Eyes of Dr Doom, Juju Hurt Museum / the colour of my fingers is not an indication to where I come from, despite what you say

Thursday, 8 August 2013

Attract the Cat

'Attract the Cat'

'?Human Hands'

Pointy-headed kids have invaded my council flat (attempting to sell pin badges) / cats with faces / cucumber under nose (towel)