Friday, 23 August 2013

Calvity King (Nick Cave bald 1)

'Calvity King (Nick Cave Bald 1)'

My dad was the 68th man on the moon / kids wearing adult size gloves (in the moon) / walkin’ around Egypt on mushroom / walking around Egypt on acid/  sat up all night eating dirt (at the edaphic snack bar)/,men who wear turtle hats are not permitted to join the Under 30s club (even if they are aged 3under 30)  / reborn in 1883 /i think she ahs had one too many avian flu jabs / I get more sex than all the other dogs in the cemetery put together/my best friend Gary was a very poor wicket keeper, but he had an excellent way with the ladies / catching balls which were dropped from the heavens by a man sitting in a box window/kittens ‘n’ chickens/man with no mouth/ the devil’s rumble/ polish coat / polish coconut/ eyes in my mouth/welcome to new member..who will be known as ‘Chicken Tits’ / I only answer to the pseudonym ‘Curly Charles’ (on account of my very curly hairstyle)Chinese hand relief/  chocco starfish /  triumph underground / underground boredom /bored of the   onions /my 88 year-old granddad is hanging around on street corners dealing heroin and listening to Shaba Ranks cassettes ('people could really toast back in my day') / kids in the pea pocket / rinsing my hands at 6.10am / nana has a curious fondness for the terrible infants / Siamese  tits Siamese chickens / the donkey meat was surprisingly moist/ sometimes we go to dinner in our fairy slacks / cave for babies(cave full of babies) / harlequin moon/map x (Gus Claudius is walking around Basingstoke with a bag of gems which were given to him by an ancient relative. He plans to distribute these gems to the vagrants of Basingstoke) / cucumber opposition/Victorian armpits / TS I Heidi heehaw/the forgotten world- teeth like spaghetti / teach me how to look after  my toes  properly/smacked in the mouth by a man wearing a leather gauntlet / I haven’t got any eggs for you, but I will let you sit on my daughter’s lap for a bit/blood apple / a little polish and spit will take care o’ that / teenage priest / I took a bit of cherry pie and then laid back and waited for ‘House of the Teds’ to begin/Saturday:- shopping for eggs with the teenagers I met on the shuttle bus in Tokyo. Sunday:- collecting feathers from the abandoned beach.  / jazz pastry/dirty feet and bad egg breath / Stuart’s Memory –issued a request to come see the dead prisoner’s immaculate corpse/T:- Christopher ‘Hallow Pie’ Gilbert is completely obsessed with ‘Devil’s Rumble’ by Davie Allan and the Arrows / shallow pie/back from the dead in Derby / have you noticed how everyone is the same?/Toe Bar (the place where the feet come to drink) / me, Ronnie Wood and Chicken Shack Joseph are eating drugs and reminiscing about the Glory Times/cowboy in fresh jeans (a message from stranded astronauts) /fresh kiss/ ten things dragged up from the bottom of the river:- 1. a dead man, 2. some fish boots 3. a small vial of crack cocaine 4. a used library book 6. a rusty St Lucifer on a chain 7. a glass eye attached to a piece of string 9. a ‘velvet candy’ cassette 10. some peas / iron-on face / today’s recommendation. If you see a worried-looking goth kid..walk up to him or her and insert your thumb into their anus / job-lot of scarred babies- £15.99-the lot (job lot) / Akkad, the smallest mouse in India / I unrolled my tongue and allowed the ants to walk across it/  sometimes we scrape the congealed fat off, sometimes we just eat it / a poisoned humdinger/the addled meat was surprisingly delicious / I poisoned my wife and then started my new career as an advisor to NASA/old-fashioned dogs/ sorting the dogs –one pile for yellow dogs, one pile for black ones/Arse Nick /

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