Thursday 14 May 2015

Destroy I Phone 2015 / Harry Shearer in Flat Fenlands 2015

































How do you order Chinese food from a mixed prison? / drug addiction, Jimmy Saville and yogurt / I used to think it was ironic to go out barking at dogs / wearing baggy dungarees in the prescence of a fashion designer / vanishing Tuesday / skeleton quay / I have a confession to make: I am the Poe toaster! / garish worlds / I sat fidgeting during my uncle’s third consecutive sermon / some people never understood the need for toby jugs / I wrote the words ‘see you in Antwerp’ on the back of my father’s tax bill / a curious glance at a dying UFO pilot / Stewart is a good name for a construction worker’s best mate / the glue that binds our faces together on stag night / German restaurant owner making love (slowly) to his mum’s best friend / succumbing to the undeniable charms of Nigella Lawson’s slightly more sexy older brother / Elizabethan fraggle / I’ve got gravel in my boots and I don’t give a damn / the soiled memories outweight the clean ones /  witch in a hole / what really shocked her was the uniform lack of self awareness demonstrated by the Sack Babies / gutter puss / hunting the clouds / the jazz primate / don’t worry about the clouds today / abnormal toe / abnormal toad / duffel tart / bananas foster of the week / favourite baby / kings in the ditch (waving at emaciated children on the adjacent hill) /Rebel Dyke movement (force?) / divorce your fish wife and come love with me / sat on a chair smoking dope with two thirds of ‘Salford Media Force’ / cat skin collective (in Honey White coveralls) / furry and disgusting / imagining faces to put to ideas we had regarding people who look like pen nibs and other related paraphernalia/seeing god through the peep hole / the furry tongue of hobo queen / naked hand / the way she looks at you reminds you of that piece of beef from your childhood / I don’t trust newborn babies / new born lifeform (switch your mother for your father) / Modern lunch break / I only feel comfortable speaking French on buses and or in the back of trucks /common grin / stop people living in America /heavy cattle / the stars are made of grains of etc /  I married a girl from the Pintupi 9 / how does your face stay so fresh-looking? / cat in the city / what exactly is wedding tackle? / listening to cassette recordings of old shipping forecasts whilst attempting to untangle my baby’s hair / is modernity alright by you? / Neil eats onions but he isn’t French / new age bachelor space house music / giant shag / invisible dominoes / Night of Anubis / walking with three (hopeful lasses) / bum pusher / cantankerous like the Vicotorian ‘Nah Nah Man’ / naked ancient / clunge bucket / this is how she feels when you sniff her feet / the world made sense from the vantage point of a bucket suspended from a washing line / your idle little toe / new age bachelor music / crap and crime (is crap a crime?) / how many moons did you have to kiss to get where you are? / crap art is the basic right of children / passage to Crispin / talking to a dead queen (I wish I wasn’t bitter) / I flushed your skin away (Moroccan sheepskin coat) / 1. It was a good idea to try not to think about the turtle with the sore neck / afraid to look the policeman in his eyes / Canadian people have soft hair / covered my hands in beet juice and made love to my sister’s boyfriend / Iago Charles and his clean teeth (new friend in yellow sun) / I have cleaner teeth than my boyfriend does / melting idea/ 5 equal fingers (E Murphy)/around the world on a C90 cassette / pillocks in grease / newborn babies float around the coffee shop / boring like a black cloud in June/the poisoned drum / mango Iscariot / what shocked Jonas Menas was not the same thing as what shocked his mother / your friendly space-age bachelor pal /distant Sheridan / Knecker the Pond Man /