'Tamsy Andy Who R U?'
'Poc Poc 1'
forgotten pessimism of the early 19th cent. (dead teeth) / let’s shave our eyebrows off and get silly / greasy-eyed lover (my son is not a pot smoker, which disappoints me, to be honest) / I encouraged my son to smoke crack and lie to his father about it / eternal variety / flirting with the lifestyle of chimps / I had lunch with a Portuguese locksmith / alien gravy (CA) / first of all Stanley will sing the hymns, and then the hits later / cardboard orchestra /spurious demon / the animal that lives in my fishy mind / spent Christmas on set of Krypton Factor / cum shot snap shot /enthralled by the erotic sideshow (enthralled by the erotic slideshow) / erotology today..and what it emans to children and adults alike / / wholesome bones / devil in the rain /pig steam ./ they x-rayed my frigging lunch box for god’s sake / I heard a rumour that Jesus Christ had massive feet / did you really just pick your snout in public? / 5 uses for a pig (not inc. eating the delicious little plump porcine) / Samantha ignored me as I floated away in the bath tub /Cardigan Nan/ I swapped my nan’s cardigans for some koala beans /selling my nan’s cardigans on E Bay / I swapped my mother’s antique piglet for a can of koala beans / jerked off at 4.46am / nun school party / pilchards on toast is such a vulgar lunch choice / Peacock Annie and Bleeding Tom Mills (AKA The Laughing Gob) making love for to amuse Edward Heath (who is filming the sex on his expensive I-Phone) /only karate chops can hurt me now/ flirting with chimpanzees in Ju-Ju Zoo / risible laughter emanating from a cuckoo kid ./ 3 things I have never ever witnessed:- 1. a gorilla wearing Bermuda shorts, eating a crab sandwich 2. a gorilla wearing a space suit, watching repeats of ‘Cheers’ 3. a gorilla wearing a towel, waiting to get a full massage / / if someone put a gun to your head, would you admit that you’re a humanoid? / gun foot crap shoot crab sandwich gorilla training school / it’s a bad idea to puke in your space helmet / rubber chickens littered the graveyard (for some unknown reason) / I removed my space helmet, combed my hair and opened a packet of rich tea biscuits/ covered in slime and dog poop / I couldn’t decide whether to get a hand job or a nose job / most things I know and like were created by a man called Big God / blind chair / I hate you because you look like me, only slightly better / you should keep an eye on your face, it’s starting to look like a pickled egg / always keep your eyes up to the sky at night time / 1986 –grinning children riding their bikes around the abandoned industrial estate /lost kids from 1987 joined the club (pickled mojo) / talking aloud to no one on the bus home / teenager in his infancy / spoon-fed daydreamers / chubby children eating the moon (because some other kid told them it was made of cheese)/put your filthy little lips around the honeywhistle /the insatiable itch made me forget to turn the TV set off before retiring for the evening/ computers are for idiots / carnified in Soweto Baptist ministry / gorilla’s itch keeping up all night / crispy secrets of Goldilocks (dope byway)/Dutch Opposition and Sister Squares are Reconciled / funny mulch / spoon-feeding basic breakfast to frogs / ghosts are so childish..these days/ these days (are a smoker’s eye) / furry mulch / /Christ was a witch doctor / human cry baby / I stuck my ears to the floor, so I would know where to find them later /throwing shapes into the ocean / only idiots hate drum and bass / my humid day off / stroke the sun (Baby God) / …every time I float up to touch the paw of God-Dog / Asians travelling backwards (kipper flex) / King Kong proudly showed off his jewels to the blond (Bond?) girls/ midnight sunshine (River Rat) /Jazz heathen (jazz for heathens)/ Eskimo scratching his balls whilst eating some nice seal meat (please note the preferred nomenclature for an Eskimo these days is ‘Inuit’). /