'Twisted Like Metal Alti- 16'
'Baby Boy Klass of '91'
'C O N J - No Telephone'
'Despair in Christian Wolf Boy Charity'
'Brown Metal Curved (Rain Boots)'
'Ginger Kiss (Tim Sherwood Antiasta League)
'Carrying a Human's Shoe in Metropolis Lounge Peterborough Eng (No Fritz Grey Hair)'
'Bastard Asparagus (DrAWING)
'Christopher Gilbert (Shaved Feet) with Paul Foot Norwich Playhouse 2013'
'The Dead Cambridge Cat in H and M (The Cat is Alive - title is misleading)'
'Happy Halloween (USA)'
'Munkey JSA Claim'
grinning at the edge of space/ I just made a movie about the difficulty a cowboy had in integrating into modern society in the Big City ™ (after 59 years of trotting around Alabama on a horse) /gimme a dose of what you got, Carla Brunei / Eva Green is so sexy I want to weep every time she brushes me off / bush baby haemorrhage theatre club/mango mango (teenaged dentist) / John Paul Baker is a journalist who lives in Peterborough and supports Coventry City FC.. does this sound like someone you could love? (African version of Biblical Meat has been a massive f’ing flop) / the birth of the New Orange Sun (NSO) / chimps on the warpath in 2001 / here are a list of LPs which received a one * review in ‘Abstract Albatross’ magazine. ‘ Death to all Gravy Drinkers’ by Ping Pong Bitches, ‘Starving on the Buffet Car’ by Knobby Francis and the Twitching Donkeys and ‘Too Tough 2 Love’ by T-Rex 2 / do Chinese people have eyebrows? / sat up all night playing Mormon video games with Craig Shish and his 5 deformed brothers/reggae teeth (Rowland Ra and the River Dogs) /imperial overdraught / big in little China / I started a rumour that your dad was the Peanut Thief / hooray for men in sweaty underpants / ain’t it funny how Kevin Rowlands looks like a rat (Rowlands the Rat) ? / have you noticed the curiously rectangular gob of the slave baby? / where do you get that good-quality slime from? / the perfumed teeth of Kid Jensen / Charlie Chalk and the coke-addled bachelors/ White Warren Beatty Bam-a-Lam / disgusting nostrils filled with snot and shit/ my new girlfriend prefers skinny guys like me to (for example) the African Samson (I am Snoop at Xmas) / fell in love with some critically ill kittens/ Christmas prison / the day I realised I was not quite as ugly as an old troll / Simon Amstell took my mum out for slap-up greasy breakfast (despite him being gay) / clouds over my blistered ruined teeth / the perfect pervert / curly-toothed demon on the monochrome TV set (which we love a rat (today, Markus) / gay oil traffic cop bleeding spanner duck spasm – African Beard / I took my new African girlfriend to see ‘the sights’ / junior in Hades/I just had a vision of some white men sitting in chairs eating egg sandwiches and drinking peach tea / Beck Hansen fought tooth and nail with the Big Gravy-Drinking Baby (Bleeding Tom Mills AKA The Laughing Gob) / can you perform oral sex and eat the goods if you are a vegan? / tearing off little pieces of flesh from the dying chicken and feeding them to the wild geese/ Chinese Horse styles/ I took my cue from the dying albatross/tried on my mother’s shoes before settling down to a game of ‘Pull the Parochial’ / jazz-infested rain drops over New Orleans/traffic swap – I swapped my new car for a beat-up mattress/bathing with the fat sluts/ Bleeding Tom Mills AKA The Laughing Gob’s 7th favourite Beatles song is ‘I am the Bleeding Heart of Jesus’ / gorilla in the garden (trying to avoid the sweaty clutches of the happy children) / oh look I’m stranded on Mars (with just a small effigy what I carved outta wood of my long-lost puppy for company)you’re the kind of slut I would like to take home to my mother’s house/dog on the best carpet..shitting his guts up / the dreary life of Bobby Backup / caterpillar gonads are a delicacy in this part of the world/kings of Aids/ making sludge waves with the Children from the Bottom of the Lagoon/ back into life with zombie Peter and Kid Richard/happy day (man with double left boobs) / days out with Irishman and the monkeys (happy day) / chubby + headless / furry tongued bachelors /before the advent of ‘Jacamo’ fat people had a rather uncomfortable relationship with clothes/ why does wet poo smell different from dry poo? / I rested my aching limbs and switched on the broken TV set / antique tits/ Bolivian oracle / thoughtless zombies / those tasty delicious barnacles that we ate for our supper/I am very fond of those chimps with the coconut mouths / dangerous pass spew/African slapper/ waited in line for the opportunity to smack Paul Daniels on his face / triple x devils / you are made of rubber / kinky eruption / sometimes the opera singing gets too much for me / fed the last egg sandwich to my least favourite horse (the others got the last of the good ham sandwiches)/ travelling to Wonder World with Echo the shrink-wrapped dolphin and the Five fathers of Modern World/ /go on..give a big puff /coconut lisp /dead traffic/ the dead finger nails of Mr 4 / Kid $’s lyrics leave something to be desired / I kissed my uncle on his lucky hand and proceeded to battle the travelling pugilist / box of echoes / the man dipped his fingers in the wet cement / I offered to swap my ‘Pavement’ cassette LP for a big bag of broiled beef / salted moons /I tramped my dirty boots all over the king’s maps (which he had painstakingly drawn with his own fair hand) / dead eyes of bachelor (Japanese bachelor) / /I accidentally left my dirty books on the backs eat of the vicar’s automobile / sad-eyes porn queens/lesbian with a screw driver/ ho needs Wild Owls?