Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Goat With a Hang-over

'Somewhere Somehow'

'Charlie and Me'

'Attention 1'

'Whaaaa? (Octopus Dad)'

'Chomping Up'

'The 5th Remove (P. Light)'

'I Lick the Meat'

'Goat With a Hang-over'

an old man with a thick moustache sleeping against a crumbling wall.  A few yards form the wall the punk-pop group ‘Damascus Return’ are playing an abridged set of their awful dissonant tunes to a crowd of spotty Japanese kids /what does a mouse with a moustache actually symbolise?  /Luis and me and you and the girls from Sparks House /   antique teeth (fingernail mouse) / foreign teeth/Hogan’s bones (Keegan’s bones) /empire of salt/juicy graveyard / poison the corpse / Brully’s last chance (to be a girl) / whore in the abattoir/the beautiful leper / my uncle looks creepy in suede / sewage works pin-up – summer time underneath erupted dog /Nelly asked her grandfather ‘grandpapa, why am I so very pure?’ / John Clementine  from TV’s ‘Wellington Chase’ is considered number 01 Australian smasher / make no bones about it-I am not a German kid anymore / Dallas puffin memorial club / /  I sat in a chair and cringed at my white sister’s attempt to rap / spitting all over a rather melodious track at 4.43pm / I dumped my girlfriend when she told me that her favourite ‘The Clash’ track was ‘Rock the Kasbah’ / deleted kids/angles in my soup bowl/ Elvis Presley only wanted a tiny bit of sugar as a baby / the tutting king / Egyptian dental floss /Tuesday floss-  pock-marked baby / Daniel is gay love/ I sat in my chair clutching an atheist’s teeth /I dream of joining a cardboard circus / I teased the monkey out of the tree (tanned Daniels)./my boss encouraged me to resign whilst dressed as a bear / my girlfriend dumped me whilst washing up last night’s dishes / walking through a nice park with an Asian gentleman I met on the shuttle bus / I am having sex with a 49 year-old lady I met in a cable car /  some old jazz trombonist is banging my mum / ‘my teeth feel itchy’ moaned the modern bunny / Bunny Fear – gash hurt/savoury echo / hook up your teeth, we are going to Scotland / the moon is mainly populated by people with wide faces/grin like the  the humanoids/shoulder blades on a dead cat/we absconded with the bookie’s favourite corduroy jacket / a whiff of pussy as we walked past the night club / went down on a 20 year-old bobsleigh instructor / River Plate Pussy / I am Maradona’s favourite son (am I not?) / a Jackson in your house/ owls that look like your mother / reunited in Kippax / Forrester the dog-bird/ Chinese teeth / rhino horn and whale teeth / come feel the chicken / cinema sludge (cinematic sludge) / Kennedy the lion enjoying a Chinese dinner on me / kneecaps on a goblin / butcher’s thumbs / pancake dream and a small article of abandoned space suit / the zombie made a nest from abandoned Chinese take-out cartons and old pieces of yesterday’s dresses / we mad ea nice home fro Adam and then left him to salt some fish  for tomorrow’s tea/cuckoo gumbo / we laid out Tom Jones’ bones to show to the French tourists / exchange students for fresh fruit / water-tight afro / I took the African queen out for steak, chips and peas (she didn’t want any gravy) / my ex-boyfriend was proud to label himself ‘the queer saint ‘ / Robinson and me dancing with rodents /the loneliest triangle / I have always dreamed of having shoulder blades like a dead cat/ my wife desires cheek bones like a hunger victim / Nan’s cucumber and onion-filled cupboard// I fell in love with her when she told me that her favourite ‘The Clash’ number was ‘Forget to clean y teeth again’  /Hammersmith shag pile / January blues (African Pepper Bird) / carton of sludge –zero  pieces of   fudge in my anus / spoon-fed on angel dust / criminal’s wings/  we gave daddy Oscar a pouch of tobacco and some chicken to see him on his way / caretaker’s bones/ sunshine over death camp/ nest of love vipers / spoon-feeding drugs to Nigella Lawson / angel’s teeth / Bangkok amusement centre / squeamish teeth / born to be on the ‘other’ side / incriminating photo of a dentist with stick-on teeth / Blenda and me (and you) / Cajun Youth / Sonic Cuban Pitch Disco / those dancing teeth / Cuban hairpiece crisis (calvity is a common occurrence in Cuba)/ admiring Crawford’s feet (from  safe distance)/ men should not  have   cardboard teeth in the year 2009 / we packed up the glove puppets and said goodbye to the Japanese naval officer / I soiled my trousers but decided to stay in the Caribbean for the next 2-3 days / I love (by Frank Stapleton) I love drinking pints of milk and singing old German folk songs (in my underclothes) / forgotten promise of a broken mouth / frankly, I want to eat you up/temporary Jesus /queer eye for the saint (o) /  / how long does it take to stop the moon from falling into them? / freakish teenager with a small vial of the captain’s sperm / disturbed poetry corner -  don’t disturb the spunk whale; he is sleeping off his hang-over /  Dutch hang-over / fingers under the carpet / tony under the moon (eh?) / can I interest you in a disco dance? / rubber-faced man with a curly moustache /dungeon master’s daughter / 48 year-old Englishman eating his supper from the pavement / treatable diseases of the 15th century/pit full of triangles/ Mr Morris can we be free? / I unchained my hands and spread butter on my toe nails / Jewish peewit lectures/ / My Spanish face / /reasonable echo / / Tippex Jubilee / the day they tied a knot in the space-time continuum.. or something / those lippy sunshine days / ancient green  patina teeth / the day I shed my jacket and made love to the daughter of Saunders / monkey on orange bike /the salt boys of Niger /  king biscuit inside black man’s  gullet  / a big man snorting cocaine from a thin lesbian’s mantelpiece/we found the queen nursing an injured walrus /drunk eye and monkey fist / homeless shoe/ I sit down and think about gay people/this was an unacceptable waste of dog meat / we stole treasures from the captain’s bureau / a day out with Arabian gents and women in negligee and little else / beast poetry / English sympathy / might eye / January the Apple / kindred gorilla / makeshift egg / a monkey reading an illustrated atlas on the bullet train / a man  named Joe is combing his hair with a brush made from whale bone / bull in women’s  underwear / let Johnny Lemming take over the world / Japanese folks on the energy ticket / peacock on double time /space age grunt / tears of an animal murderer /  when people called Tim owned the world/ the cheese between your eyes / lost in the hazel wave / Iron Man reads the shipping forecast (for all you teenagers) / curious triangle/canteen of courage/football player climbing up a rope made of human skin / gorilla with a child’s haircut / fruit dropped from the sky and we painted our toe nails pink / fingers in the dog food / The Baby Messi/harvesting the milk worm / oily dog rag//group of shoes/ the caramel horse/Elizabeth’s Persian teeth /bussing in strangers to make the moon look more populace/ we found a hanging parade in the swamps of Mars trying on dog shoes in an adult’s sitting room /gorgeous tortoise / getting lucky at the disco  /  pensive disco// I keep my teeth in a velvet box/boomer for breakfast  /triangle of twats / Spiderman guest hosts ‘Gardner’s Question Time’ (in an attempt to make gardening more appellant to children) /Nautical rampage / buttercorn baby / sassy tramp / sesame seeds litter the queen’s bathroom floor / antique fangs / who knows the whereabouts of Kid Angle?/ city dunce/ maggot in the city/ I passed the yellow envelope to a lady we4arign a blue puff wig and an anorak  / I made a secret pattern in the sand to indicate my whereabouts to the vultures / candy in a vulture’s pouch / artist’s tic / too painful to remember my long-lost baby emu/teenagers on the moon / was The Devil really blond? / bean curd Jesus / camp people from East Anglia are eyeing up my shoelaces/ potato – headed Jesus / one day all of us will be caramel / who are the ‘Le Royals’? / here is a truthful sentence.. if you celebrated the ‘royal wedding (no not that one)’ with any degree of fervour, you are an idiot / cans of stolen beans / Mexican  people with teeth / jealous sky/say hello to the newborn Jesus / me and the imps going door to door collecting loose change for the newborns / she poured coconut milk into a small glass tumbler. She then persuaded the baby soldier to drink it up before heading off for the front line / front lien eyes / things your captor told you between ages of 19 and 20 / fuzzy fingers on a Sunday morning / he removed all of the rotten teeth and placed them on a square piece of carpet which he had cut out earlier that day / the pink gorilla / why worry about rotten eggs?/deformed space captains/ unusual buffet / and the word was…’Pegasus’ /home-grown teeth / pearly queen and I (at the tennis match)//duchess in space / anorak off../ it’s ok for him to be wearing an Arab Strap..he is the ‘artist’ / deformed and defunct on last tube home/carton of fish / I came across a river which was full of cartoon fish/ / feeling evil on a Sunday/greasy reunion / come round to my flat and cook me some eggs/ I want teeth like beautiful James Bond / Oslo peter/Tuesday’s shoes /is there anyone here I could borrow a shark from? / unified babies / secret piss (devil’s  eggs) /Cyndi Lauper came to say hi at 4.44am / secret tic / miles from the bachelor’s stinking feet / kids in gardens / The Australian Poco onion /Teenaged president / afraid of the incoming toothy demons / alternative teeth / the ‘head’ lice is.. / summer spent with young girls called Maureen / perverse astronaut / i was embarrassed to be seen with my father-in-law as he was sporting a Hong-Kong comb-over/bring me the Sudanese trinkets / your teeth have a mind of their own / assorted beasts / did I just sin up to be a member of the Bum Squad? / I met a man with a peacock feather sticking out of his left ear / I wrapped my bacon sandwich up in an old map of Portugal / soiled in the abattoir / shitty old shoes left on train tracks, girls with no eyebrows working in bus station cafes and lonely boys making dens out of sticks and mortar / broken westerner / Muslim gum instructor / I am greasy/   lice inside /cancer empire /   climax wagon//we sliced off Henry the Eight’s beard with a blunt carving knife / cheese room dream/ /I gave every child under the age of 16 the opportunity to try on my new American sport shoes / do we still like each other? I asked my momma / I assume I am still a member of this inward-looking species  / god’s own fingers/ / gravy robber / unverified baby / Chinese bogie /  furry tooth of newborn dipsomaniac / 72 hours spent sitting on somebody else’s girlfriend’s lap / sugar fills the abandoned tooth jar/very high on drugs in a castle somewhere in deepest filthiest Norfolk / high on drugs for the sixth time this week / treasured fingers/high on rugs(aboard the magic carpet)-so many meanings! / slippery even when dry /gorgeous artist/  racy young  rascals stealing fruit from a market in Polenta / drugged  anus/ /my naughty summer (with women old enough to be my sister) /  back ‘ome with men who eat babies/ are you jealous of my haircut? You should be..it is much better than yours/ my haircut is far too good for the likes of you/ I sit in Tokyo karaoke bar surrounded by men with bad haircuts/  my new boyfriend has a very bad haircut but a massive penis more than compensates for this/// is this handbag made from pure alligator flesh? / Buckingham Oldham / ten girlfriends I left tin the rain / gravy in the rain / my rather  paranoid  sister / I didn’t become part of the teenage scene until I was 28 / Scarborough eyes / erase all evidence that we once owned an owl  / jubilant repugnance/  dancing to music (and reading aloud our spastic poetry)/taking tea  with the Jewish astronaut/Chinese Gordon Burns (Chinese Krypton Factor) / burn a million pounds and then spend some time in the kitchen regretting it (over a pot of coffee) /  (muddled thumbs)/ let’s have a ghost / all-American flamingo /there’s all sorts of things in my bum bag/ careful with that poison, it’s deadly/  Albert waves goodbye to all the Chinese policemen and other officials / waking up on the wagon//the pink pod (blind people in a casino) /just because you’re wearing sensible shoes doesn’t mean I’m gonna go out with you / sore spot in the moon//J-1 babies (Wolf D – woke up with a corn cob stuck in my ear) /exorcised teeth / purple stubborn  heart (fashionable winner) / fashionable winter / it means that every time I smile I think of imprisoned Peter / the Chinese kid removed his plastic ringfinger and placed it on a table which had been reserved for Mr P Honeydew / children in London eating sweets from the manager’s desk / sour dreams / Siamese bubble / he drew a map of the New World on the back of a nearby monkey / Scottish monkeys and Irish gorillas /Sweet Regis (just back from the Iron Ship) / peacock cheat /  path to Sheep Skin island / one tooth too many / farmyard American / peacock glugging down some milk on the back of the peacock truck / Portuguese bubble/ men aboard trucks with diamonds in their teeth / I can neither confirm or deny that my daughter is dating a teenaged scientist (R U on the kitten list?)  / hungry for bum / slave to the rave tapes / ignorant echo / Dutch people wearing their sister’s shoes /Dutch voice-over/ patron saint of nude dwarves/ old people in tight-fitting slippers/ Moroccan moustache on an Englishman /  French people in really tiny automobiles /  lonely lovely boys with suntanned eyelids / we heard you shoot horses now ..father / my guess isn’t as good as yours, but it is not bad (‘peacock tennis’) /I swapped my red apple for a ‘floating Jenny’ / Spanish people carry their tooth brushes in little leather pouches attached to their shoulders / string bean investment policy /a thoroughly modern Martian / soup for the eyeballs / walking to the shop in tight-fitting slippers / handed down by a very overweight Columbian/I’m the Martian you never learned to love / I was friends with Kate Moss for about a day / I slowly withdrew my ring finer from the Spaniard’s anus. I then wrote a quick poem titled ‘how I became human again after years of  bondage’  /Jamaican toothbrush/you know I’m not Korean (I eat salad) /  rubbish antiques clutter my grandma’s restaurant- sheman sheman come home, help me set up a small business selling anoraks to Chinese tourists (they do love anoraks, them Chinese) /Spaniard eating prawn cocktail on a train /I dream of having a fine set of teeth / ‘get off my face’ cried the man in the peacock suit / is a peacock really a bird?/ Czechoslovakian cloakroom / I got drunk and urinated onto a janitor’s lunchbox /    a) getting drunk on top of a mountain / dream rain under the sun / nightly king /foreign spastic / you have eyes and you can see my girlfriend .. that is enough  of a reason to dislike you / getting vulgar in the kitchen / St Bartholomew’s day was particularly memorable for me as it was the day that I met Peter Jesus / underground ages / sleeping under the streets with some trolls and ex bank managers/ boiled war / tramp spreading his germs all over my niece’s best dress/  secrets of the Mega City / the secretive cuckoo/    /The Pink Panther slipped his tracksuit bottoms adown and showed us his enormous pink willy / allergic to ghosts//I cowered in a remote corner of the church and waited for the congregation to leave / I suppose your fingers have always been long and bent (and supple)? / thick-set Egyptian kids are assisting me in removing the graffiti from the nursery wall /defunct clunk / men who look like cartoon characters from the 18th century / / poems for a beloved cuddy /  /correction fluid bubbles turn me on /me:-would you like t6o read my diary? You: no me: why not? You: because it is covered in salad leaves and vegetables / broken features of mendicant / /he seemed to be blissfully unaware of how ugly his shoes were / Argentinean best friend / gypsy in the supermarket / homeless bone /  I spat on the beauty queen’s stunning cheek bones / Australian breast implants/I will tell you the tale of my ex girlfriend who got turned on by duck’s necks /not all witches have to be sinister / the Red Witch// fake poof / turn your head to the other side/inhumane sideburns/ inhumane alphabet / I kiss the engine / Tramp in my heat boy / what Jesus lacked in flexibility, he made up for in miracles and shit  /perfumed turd/crude shoes./ abandoned teeth/ / a piece of arable land being farmed by my dad’s new girlfriend / the gypsy witch / why am I Japanese? / my rubber knees..are wobbling / Christ at the keyboard (playing some really rubbish MOR shit) / passive Christ / the moon is too good for you / the moon is smaller than you imagine it to be / we are so charmed by Icelandic people when they use English colloquiums / the perfect haircut (finally) / that talking dog boggles my mind / chicken box blues/a horse called Giles / homeless tramp / Mondeo mountain/men on gin (cannot be trusted) / evil mind of a clown/ innocent children of the moon / prettier than Walnuts/Chinese toothbrush / the hairy eyes of Sgt Cail/pudding bug / plastic feet / Prince of Bulimia / everything makes sense to 2 year-old boys / /I walked around the shopping mall with dead flowers in my hand /my uncle turned up at my house carrying three crates of PVA glue / ice cream bones/ the grinning chieftain/it must be Jeff Goldblum’s disturbing face (the fourth world) ///mother-in-law’s soundboard  /cash fro pussy / /gormless hierarchy  /Lottie the butcher’s wife showed me what lived under her new shoes / my brain is slightly bigger than that of a crow / I spent Christmas day with homeless people (as I , too, am homeless) /candy for the skank /   my mind is a platter of vegan delights / blind boys in the kitchen / my secret moustache / secretive Jesus / log gets you from A Magi gets you everywhere / perfumed trump / pregnant in Germany/why she asked as she spread her feet on the floor/ why does the taste of human flesh remind me of my childhood? / pencil-thin Christ / why do my fingers feel like toes today/ /  ate a pea pie for breakfast /the fourth utterance to emanate from the oracle’s mouth was ‘yes. this is  the correct use for a rubber hose’  /Walter salts / / /imagine a gypsy scaring your children/my friend the broken computer /please and thank you are words you seldom hear in prison cells / what’s the use of a rubber horse? / Buddy of the flatlands / meet the teeth/blood on the banquet/modern nostrils / practising making love on friends and colleagues / memory of a dog/you are too pretty for the moon / Israel below the radar/  A is for meat / my wife thinks swan’s necks are erotic/North Korean word burglar /diving for tramp’s eggs/ butter for my baby /  I stole a turd from the film star’s arsehole/  I offered to fondle the president’s wife’s tits in exchange for the secrets of the universe / unbridled joy at being told to stop coming to passion class/caskets of fools / waffle dumper of great repute /  I leant my teeth to the Jizza-Bob Girls/ Paul presented me with a woodcut effigy of his long-dead sister (Venice) / I noted his rubber hands were flapping around in the wind- Tame Impala cassettes were being played at 4:4 (you know) /growin’  rhubarb on the rooftops of Manhattan / from Venice I come, wearing a top hat and a small bauble around my face/I have surrounded myself with posh black men / Tracy Enim is my 16th favourite rap star/hospital shoes/ the gums bled all over the sovereign’s carpet/the day I met that bloke called Chris who used to clean the bingo hall / I just had lunch with a man called Simon who once let me look at his wife’s tits for £5 (which was, I felt, a very reasonable price for such a wonderful pair of breasts) / men aged between 60-65 are not permitted to eat on the court yard/hardcore lullabies- he spent much time arranging his vegetables in the order he expected toe at them in / pickled roots/chicken in flannel / I gave you half of my collection of very valuable postage stamps. you returned the favour by kissing my knee caps all over/IK writer – Darling Lady Clementine floating along on a makeshift raft, making funny faces at the natives / bedside grammar / jowls on a whore/small child was disturbed by dried-out helminth on country lane / spotted a zombie and didn’t worry about it whatsoever / essential debris / tall bird in a small pullover / receiving advice and guidance from people called Richard/  chubby people on earth/sitting on a wall with a can of Bushmills and a broken copy of my next ape /my crab cake baby / the day I removed your teeth/ Under-age children walking around the ape museum without parental supervision / my 29-year old girlfriend is talking Spanish on the 29th of October / the kids in the street are the kids in space/reading out the Irish football scores for the boys back ‘ome / Yorkshire Ripper turned me on / dog moon music/ Jennifer Aniston is Greek and ugly/trouser flower/ pregnant inch/fear of a wacky crackpot / Harold and I/Kingston stop-over// David Bowie:- you are not a mannequin or a child’s toy doll or a straw-stuffed man used by a farmer  as a minatory device against the dread crow..you are a human cowboy with salt tears in your eyes and three black teeth (which God gave you for luck) / Kylie Minogue you are not the princess twin of my girlfriend’s dead sister; you are not the frog queen, nor have you ever been..you are a diamond elfin pixie with stars in your mouth / yes indeed we march on when others sit around eating fish finger sandwiches and listening to contemporary dance music on their I-Pods /I’m not the way I am I saw a Scottish man with a calvity..he was wearing a pink neckerchief and had several bottles of mineral water in his nice cotton shopping bag /crocodile dolls / timeless croc/ mashed  battery / the long-haired South African read aloud most of my secret and private emails/ got wanked off in Morecambe /Mrs Lucy left a bag of candles on the back seat of the train /I sat on a seat and told the children all about the famous basketball star who threw a perfect game whilst, allegedly, on acid / I dropped the last of the acid before meeting Derek Mimi for brunch (which consisted of lobster pot salad and copious amounts of fair to middling white wine) /  jumbo killers/people called ‘Julian’ are crawling through my window / the stand-offish Mexican / Mexican bug implants/back in with Janus and the Wailing Harpies of South America/question one:- do mushrooms have bones?  /intact head of my deceased boyfriend/scandalous biro /we lined the dead hamster’s cage with old Irish till receipts and black and white photographs of Piet Mondrian’s great grand-daughter / flimsy remains of the pathetic day / what use is a coat that doesn’t have arms? / Buda chow / I’m full of remorse for killing the abstract painter’s 16 year-old horse / the man who made a living selling human flesh to cannibals / cannibal’s reunion/ a child with a lazy eye is peering around the corner (looking at the ice cream girls) / posh people with flowers in their asses/ I’m full of bile.. or is it hate? / limited toe nails / Irish face/ African cowboy and African spaceman meet the president  / hysterical ducks / marooned on Zombie Isle / vegan president/Ian’s Spanish teeth /a pig in a cardigan is still a pig /Rankin’ astronaut /a village full of freaks and nappy-wearing priests / golden old eyelids / hiding from the demons in a den in England /no  Emil Wolves in English field / dead heifer inside English field /  Tom Jones’s teeth /  dear sister  -here are the images of raped god which I promised you when we were younger (last week I think it was..we were younger last week weren't we) /  make-up a horse for breakfast with the king/sex is better if you grow a moustache /rejected cockneys / moustache armistice / Jobriath in short pants/ Human celibate nice nice celibate human /  wash your brow with a gentleman’s flannelette /if you want to be Mexican you have to grow a moustache and roll up your shirt sleeves / Ewok mirage (13) / 13 corduroy lions / pilfer the defunct village  / kids in Shrewsbury (doing more good than harm, actually) /  I am being followed in the street by men dressed as women / King Jonathan’s filmography (updated 01 January 1991) – ‘Toad’s Armistice’, ‘Bachelor with a deformed foot’, ‘King in the bathtub’, ‘Lionel and me chasing rabbits all day long’ / short people don’t make good preachers /lesbians at the dinner party / cowardly lion running away from the bomb blast / Phoebus spend some time get away  (hot hot City) / killed by pessimism /  Irish runner beans and old magazines / I went  into retirement with a dog between my legs / beef toothbrush / God is in the garden / French toast for homeless Irish people/Tagore Charles dreams of orange-coloured goblins who live on and around the moon/ I wait for the rockets to explode (I eat egg sandwiches)  /the war on God / Suedehead and Heeley go to the abattoir to see some action /  vulgar river/straight-talking Jesus /public moon / pubic hair on a ghost / Howling Bird – Fixing up my blues / look in an old tin can in an elderly Dutchman’s sitting room. In the can you might find an old vinyl copy of Emerican Peter’s classic LP ‘This is the way the stars explode in my head’ /  Jesus Christ  is emerging from the ground with the tofu and the bird eggs / Emil Wolves sits on a metal chair and admires my latest attempt at abstract expressionist painting / model A- perfumed troll (with teeth) /Devo the ghost / amphibian swirly audio / apple pulp all over my rented white tuxedo / pleasant lees/ /easel  seed /emu egg death watch/Bovine timeline / getting’ angry inside the womb / death sucker /rabies partition /android in the city / rear tits /nest of secret birds / sunshine and gravy / we opened the red cupboard door to find hundreds of used ‘Silence of the Lambs’ cassettes / rerecorded over the only known recoding of the devil speaking /  peeking at the corn goblin / sugar man zenith / Chinese lab animal collection  /mummified fingers of Dame Zoola / writing queer poetry on the back of  table napkins / set our teeth and show them you is boss/ / I think its 1991 again and we are all eating ice pops on the beach /  /  in onion nightmare /take your time choosing which pair of socks to wear to the funeral / useless crisis /onion Beatles -  wore your nappy to the prom /  tears of  salt ‘n’ vinegar  /werewolves and lollipops . / will I ever be crowned queen of the chicken people /  queen of the pub snacks /  I dispute that you were owner of my spare teeth/ / / Fellowship of the bling / Ashcan Jagger – 2 romantic 4 u /    Lesley Voyle goes to bed with babyhead Jackson / ninth Alsatian from Albania- bring me home/looking forward to a year full of hate / atrocity ledger / foreign man standing on a beach with a seagull perched on his head / Kibbutz pussy / Adult rain / ostracised goblin //talented teardrops / last exit out of Hell City/The most evil apple of all time / big fat men floating above the garden party / Evil Mike Jesuus – king of the queens /ginger folks in an  amber maze / tin whistle for the  android/criminal’s armpits/ 2-headed Christ / she floats past the fields with the tennis guy / my Jewish brother /  zone one nancies / rigid initials /ten emperors licking  sugar from a brick wall /  Frank Stella drinking coffee (yes, coffee) in a bachelor’s bedsit / I picked at the corpse’s moustache whilst trying to decide whether to have Chinese or Indian for supper / do they have correction fluid where you come from?  /Irish zoological garden eyes / grinning in the cinema / handing out French toast to homeless gorillas / gorilla is the killer (yes I am sure he is)/‘turn the jungle music off and come sit on my knee’ I ordered the bachelor’s sister / triumphant ozone layer /farmyard hands / why is Ken Dodd such a prick? /mushroom Williams /secret teeth / I failed to  catch the Croesus’s attention by throwing bird bones into the air /  smells like a bachelor’s gloves / it says that I belong to the ‘society of shame’ / relics crushed in stampede of proles /  / I smashed the chimpanzee effigy ornament with my swollen fist / my fist swelled up to the size of a watermelon after spending seven hours punching a wall for no particular reason/I ate my lunch before having one off the old wrist / modern Moroccan (having his dinner on last train home) / vegetarian are eating pork lunches behind closed doors/ goblins in the youth hostel / deformed Japanese boy working part-time in London youth hostel  / blind people climbing out of underground bunkers with flowers betwixt their teeth / terribly mutated people clambering around outside destroyed shopping centres/Heroin Tuesday/ Late 18th century Christian haircut / I read a pamphlet in the zoo which explained why some people have a chemical imbalance in their brain / pessimistic duck/dungeon pussy  /queuing for soup /skinny soup for Jocko Hommo / a purposeful burp /  my boyfriend sat watching the octopus slowly climbing out of his tank/left-handed ghost / supermodel in short pants/ nonsensical Jesus / got your thin white rope all over your M-I-L’s new carpet /he proudly walked his pudding basin haircut-sporting new boyfriend around the town centre / kids with too many fingers / /  my boyfriend sat on a stool bragging about the fact he had recently contracted ‘Legionnaire’s Disease’ / Jewish parrot routine / digitally inbred./ gagging on a sock of cum /  gulls feed  their young  with discarded chips and hamburger// on the top of the shelf was a yellow ashtray. This ashtray contained some ash, and also several small birds’ skulls / Sergeant Andrew is whistling with his mouth/Uncle Mildred has a static comb-over (and what do we think to that, girls?)  / passion by  myself- I am Aquarian/I smoked a cigarette and contemplated the fate of the disabled donkey / I toasted some bread and removed the model’s flimsy underwear from my face/Peanut Wilson:- came and said hi to me and other slightly less attractive girls / I am sitting in a chair in abandoned coal mine/sex makes even spirits feel  hot /rubber under belly / Billy Bob Thornton swaps three tins of rancid paint for a curtain made of the hair of his ex-husband /I am standing at a bus stop next to man with a map folded up in his back pocket /(I can  see a bit of the map sticking out) /farmyard language / dead people on the moon/Christmas at Halloween/ jungle dungeon / jungle cock//  /outsider on the moon / walked outside with Peggy the Pig / Theo the Octopus is my dad’s favourite pet / I watched the gorilla slowly climbing out of his home-made bed/  egg remains young / turd in a box (spangle lottery) / pigsty inside sister’s stylish mind / the adults and the  young all twisted together like playdough /  / paper weight baby / margarine dream/remains of April / wounded January  /German man wearing lipstick on bus home/German tennis rackets//where I come from, horse’s fingernails are a valuable commodity /yeah it is a Dutch picnic / cornrows on m new boyfriend /  /ignorant posh people make me angry / / the words of treacle /sitting on trains next to  men with fish in their back-packs/15th February:- I swapped ten ‘Alf’ trading cards for a kiss from the 5th sexiest girl in the school / pessimistic cowboys/’make it go dark’ cried the German abstract expressionist painter /  paper dog on the moon/vegan cowboy / vegetarian bass player/ man sitting on a chemical toilet waiting for the vampires to stop sucking his neck /tits out at the dinner table / 46 year old men wearing red cherry lipstick/adult spaceship / saw dust clouds obscured the vision of the 3 year-old cowboy / motion sickness of time travel (Elaine smells of 90s cassettes) / 3 cassettes I bought at the Summer Tape Festival Market:- 1. ‘Pie is God’ by Randolph Scott the Fascist Killer, ‘Subliminal Woofer’ by Archaic Dog Juice and ‘Filthy paws of human-dog hybrid’ by Cecil the time-travelling lesbian bitch from somewhere akin to Hell / / I saw a dick on a cat/unspooling tape  for ‘something to do’ / Harry Potter’s bird turned out to be  a lesbian, didn’t she?? / the beckoning of obsolescence implies a ghost town future  /circus carpet / a ten-year old circus performer breathing onto an 8-track digital recorder to try and make it work again (sometimes when machinery gets cold it just needs a little warmth to get it working again)//  I spent Christmas teaching son’s of  Death Row prisoners about traffic cops who live in paper bags which once housed apples etc. / bizarre trolls and slobs who look like your fathers/ an existence free from the burden of palpable goods / dog stubble / 3 50s punk groups that should never have split up:- ‘Cake Machine’ ‘Wobbly Legs of  a Man Who Has Just Shed His Load’ , ‘Black Toffee and Japs’ / being racist in the year 1901 / 2001 was a good year for trolls / come here and  lick the sugar off my boots/ learning how to look good without your beak-hat on / overweight time traveller/ Bryn Probert lives in a cave with men dressed up to resemble bears / who gave you the idea of playing your records backwards? / cassettes in the loft (being played by a wolf in corduroy bathing trunks) / I am looking forward to getting my penis sucked in the year 3000 / I only became a butcher so that I could touch meat day in day out / Cindy resides in her Bone Chamber with just some animal carcasses for company / a sparrow slowly twitching in a radiant sunshine-filled cottage/the internet is a ‘myth’ / speak the truth or we blind Jesus / paper tubes (disco remix) / nurse in the graveyard / Demdike Stare / / corduroy-clad pencil shavings/teenager’s teeth / cathedral of secret perversions /  / I switched from pussy to cock on New Year’s Day 1991 / 1991 – programmable kids take spoons from parent’s cupboards and go on to scoop eyeballs from animals in nearby petting zoo (oh the horror ..the f***ing horror of it all) I think your mud needs sweeping in a little/lost fossil /eyeball jazz (I live on the edge of the village and I tie my balls to my toes) /  Aboriginal implants/ my dad fondly recalled his time as ‘paper weight king’/the man who thought he was a blind 16th century Dutch whore/I took off my shoes and re-wrote my debut poem (16 years and counting) / even Richard Hell looked strange when standing in Northern England pub back-rooms/I feel there are quite enough punk groups named after Spanish football teams / my seven year old sister just finished a beautiful oil painting of her favourite American football quarter-back/I walk up to men sporting moustaches. I ask them the following question:-‘excuse me sir, do you feel that sporting a moustache increases your chances of pulling a beautiful bird?’ /nana spends a groat a day on chick peas and floor polish  /varnishing the dead cars / / I kissed the furry future/porn star in corduroy / museum curator sitting on my mother-in-law’s lap on Xmas day /’I heard they took your face away’.. ‘yes, it was a good face..' I liked it’..'well, that is a shame then’..'yes’.. /remembering my manners onboard the small cockboat / contended duck / crashed spaceships in the swamp / Robinson Gland and the wheel of destruction/a Thursday afternoon spent trimming your eldest son’s pudding bowl haircut / in the face of adversity you tried on new socks / Johnny Friday is no friend to the Filth Police/ Scumbag on the patio// dilly ogg / me and over 136 Japanese tourists hanging around outside the official head-quarter’s of  The Rennington King / usher sing the blues/  tits he likes /  the elf  that got stuck inside a glove box / G1:- the day I shaved my eyebrows off to try and attract the interest of a Slovakian girl /  / pink gorilla music /  my young sister took several hundred black and white photographs of the iron monger’s teeth / 1990- forgotten witch dreams  / Tony Jonathon Spector formed a punk band called ‘Yob’ (‘Yob’ released one 7” single titled ‘the day I got crabs off my sister’ and then split up about a week later) / we give- gypsy in someone else’s nice new caravan / Tom ahs an appointment with Sandworms / council  of fools / theatrical recollections volume 1- I recall the day when one of the extras left a half-eaten Beef ‘n’ Tomato Pot Noodle in the backstage area / wizards in the bean can / question 245:- 1. name that movie which depicts a geezer with pink eyelids who lives in a columbine and eventually is accepted by the pigeons as ‘one of their own’ /hey you with the cowboy hat on, come over here and chat up my girlfriend / I have always dreamt of getting chatted up by a cowboy// my girlfriend has supple breasts of quite considerable magnificence..innit / can squids drive (squid car)? / bastard goblin / yeah I’m 27 (‘HM blue bucket’) / Bleeding Tom Mills never got his licence to live... they won’t give him it, so he stands at the world’s edge. He’s trying to break free, but he knows ‘it’s not for me’ /taped up mouths, Boo Radley impersonators, dogs called John and my love never sleeps / sleeping whore/John Junior the Rasta request to be known by the name ‘MEM-MD229899C’ / former Soviet policemen cuddling trees in the nude / Queen of the street – queen of the sweet meats / butter buffalo (candy Arab -  Peacock Jesus; Richard the Conquer.. sex sucker) /  we paid several Chinese women to stand around throwing peanuts into a hollowed-out tree trunk / five people I have never met:- Wellington Crusoe, Bob Randish, Carl Sega, Dick Voltaire, Jackson Crabtree/ death of him/‘Pattack’s Revenge’ is considered by most Japanese people to be my best work /People in the Wall Gang / daddy, I wanna hear the story of the Cash Machine Gang (AKA The Hole in the Wall Gang)/ the Human Hiss (FAQ Part 1:- why do Chinese people hiss before commencing their evening repast? Where can I find the key which will unlock the doors of perception? Who put those elephants onto the table from which Jesus and co ate their last repast? / I am dynamite kid of FSU(former Soviet Union)/I could not bring myself to place my trust in the man who was sitting on a rock feeding hay to his donkey / Bleeding Tom Mills withdrew his greasy fingers from the Honey Monster’s swollen anus.  He licked his fingers expecting to find the taste of honey..  /he licked his fingers (expecting to taste honey) and was left bitterly disappointed / reindeers and other cute animals on the moon / braver than Jesus

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