'Wolf of Wall Street'
'Imprisoned Like a Bastard'
'Fist of You'
'Eye for the Cream'
'K for the H and Y'
1991:- i saw my first naked girl in 1991. she was 27 years old and weighed approx. 17 stones. her breath was hot like a newborn puppy and when she realised i was looking right at her, she ran away screaming 'go away pervert, stop oggling my naked form'.
1994:- i saw my first dead dog in 1994. it had been left to rot by a man called Roy. Roy collected dogs and had so many that, when they passed away, he didn't bother burying them, he just left them to rot on the floor. The boys and I gave him the nomenclature 'Rot Roy (or 'Roy Rot').
1996:- i saw my first misshapen Japanese man in 1996. I was on a first aid course in Darlington. I fancied a bite to eat, so i went to the local sushi bar. I was served by a very nice Japanese. He was, however, severely misshapen (his legs were all baggy, like a kangaroo's fanny).