Saturday, 7 January 2012

Martha has had a Monkey-Baby

Show me the words
French puss
Trapped in the tape recorder
Above the quiff was a small floating infant, dreaming of his dinner
Little caged babies being fed by adult rats
Hungry for the glitter
The pathetic pop star had one too many  mouths
Now we can seal off the room that contains the invisible children
…a corpse getting it’s ears pierced for the first time
Northern Famine
My hobby horse was left stranded in North London
Abandoned ostrich in
W London street
1.       mouldering factory canteens filled with half-eaten corpses
who killed the Cyclops?
The lop-sided grin of Ralph T Bone
Birds on loop  (tribal hat)
Tribal grin
Ice cream for skeleton
Camp albatross in America
Homo-erotic skin graft
Blind albatross sniffing the buffet
Guide dogs for albatross
We gave the angry sook a geegaw to make him feel slightly happier
Hippy in the prison cell
My daughter painted a picture of King Kong sucking on the big toe of Godzilla
Pies made of plastic
My enemy is pregnant
Siamese wet dream
Learning how to urinate
Narrow wolf
Does this list provide any comfort to lost fishermen?
Reynard standing on top of his hill, looking at the stars through a telescope and wondering how far away those stars actually are
Scum owl on the horizon. The filthy TV, the filthy TV
Black Vauxhall!
Scorched horse
The dead action
Courageous giant
World famous bender
Stuffed clown in a wheel chair.
Frogs finger nails are removed at birth
I doubt if the geese will arrive until Sunday night
Goose in the abbatoir (sniffing the offal)
Outspoken goose named Robert
Tiny squid floating thru space
squid suppers for the elders
Rubber winkie
Fighting w/ worn-out knuckles
No point making love tonight /  lipstick language
Alien gravy
Return of Slang King
Satanic jazz solo
I don’t use crutches anymore, Malcolm
Duke in the foyer
Shall we comb our hair before or after dinner?
Smoking tailors on the way home from Echo Park
Tom Cat is my best pal
I swap this medium-sized eyelid for a scoop of muesli
Distraught tom cat getting attacked by a big wolf /  wearing your old bloke down
Daily grave
Socialist magazine pull-out poster
Coloured ballbag
Master of videos
Double nought- give me my video tape
Double Christ / Christ is alive
King of slags
Vegetarians don’t make good fighters
my skills count for nothing on this planet / dancing in a light-hearted fashion
Batter Boy has tight skin tonite
The eyes  in his feet / we are all idiot polymaths
The drug aspect!
Video gravy
I am Gay:- this list will  keep out demons
Victorious gravy
Graveyard summer
Skinny dream
My life with K Bush.  Dream Syndicate ghost awareness session
Kick out the good drummers
In my dreams I am a lion cub
Stupid fat women sitting in the sunshine
Wisdom of tooth
Toothy dentist
Soldiers on bikes in a short movie which is shown only in office canteens
Spying on lovers
Confiscated corpse
Polaroid salmon
Indecent sandals
kinky butler
Killer drum – the bingo master shaved off his moustache for the tenth time tonight
My life with Bug Man
We are all  made of glue, mashed potato and plastic bags
We used some of the left-over sugar to placate the teething baby
Heat-wave faces
Gorilla wearing a grass skirt and dancing like a fool
Leper penguin is leftover dinner
On my plate is a love/hate pile of meat
Dead dentist lying in a pool of teeth
Knuckle fragments
Do ghosts have knuckles?
Liver candy
Dusty duck
The man that wouldn’t quit swimming
I vacated the space shuttle and promptly bought myself a veggie curry
The space mission had to be cancelled as the astronauts all need urgent dental attention
Pools of poo in the Magic Shaft
Quivering in the dark
Men that look orange
Milky reviews
Claudia and I – the milk that couldn’t curdle
Ambulance music
Dump psychology
Anxious cough (monkey syrup)
Er..touching the cloth
Faggot drum

Hot monster
Filofax pastrie
50p droxy
Gummy Rasta
Undertaker’s smile
Russian Rasta
Affiliated with the Prevention of Cruelty to Humanoid Pole Dancers League
Smiling at corpses
Mashed waves
Pakistani Elvis
Caged fish
A lane of hair
Lake of hair
Death at the Opening Ceremony (it always occurs)
The plastic species
Bottomless Moroccan buffet
Moroccan spreadsheet
Planet of fingerless ice ducks
Teeny walrus

Teenage street
parties never end well
Greasy robot
Robo boy in the attic
Wooden dormouse
Greasy mouse
Modern adaption (modernity for children) – I’m in to smog, traffic, kinky people, and spend most of my time going to watch snuff movies.
Greased Hospital Clerk  / are you related to Death Squad?
Watford terrier
Your eyes, my jar
You probably have a lack of moustache on your face cos you keep on shaving
Birds in the jar
Princess on the pavement
Slags of Avon
Buffet in the prison canteen
Funeral buffet
Pour some sauce on the corpse
Eliza and the cloud people
Panto valve
Powdered duck
Powdered lung
A history of malice  / saying hello to everyone
Greetings from Jake Lung-Tape to Lung Onion-Tape)
Pieces of death!
Impertinent death
Balkan foot job
Jotting down the names of your three favourite hockey players
Chutney valve
A dead bird has flown by
Elvis is a cube
The abortion of hope
Disitinctive laughter of the near-dead
Ang Lee’s Moroccan buffet
Cubist chutney
All-american chicken jazz
Chicken in a box
I love my family Horse
Jazz vault
Kestrel putty
The internet is a ball of cancer
Dreadlock astronaut
Cycling to Mecca
Dandruff paddles
Massive pup
Living drum
Teenage steam
The stains on Cliff Thorburn’s teeth remined me of the dark brown skin of my least favourite uncle
Crippled ghost
Wooden kid making fun of a plastic kind
Ancient muff
Trunk muscle / muscle trunk
To celebrate ‘Gordon’ Day, we are having a party with ‘Gordon’
Tom from Stourbridge does not exist
Life of Jelly Dog
Lively Pies
Rash bag
Gash bag
Fried ostrich fingers are good
Elephant fag
Spastic linguistics
Keep bringing out the dead babies for hungry wolverine
Victimless birth
men behind curtains
The ocean floor is covered with vibrating mermen
Little vibrating children
Woof minutes
Deep-fried days
Camp hygiene
Nervous Jap Elvis
Bisexual Wolf
Tropical trolls
Crispy zombies in the wretched vortex of our nightmares they tarred him and coveredf him in ostrich feathers
There’s more to life than rubbing cream on your rash
Rash of love
Second Hand Ghosts
The gallows humour was wearing a tad thin
Future gob
Rooming with the corpse
Big Edward and the Salt Donkeys
Street donkey
Dr Zeuss knows my mind better than I do!
Only Neil Young can fix this problem / only Neil Young can set you free
Oily horse
Chattering like a hoss
Gallows ramp
Worm boy and Shitler
Cabbie’s anorak
Crusty teddy bear
Emma’s big eye balls are looking at my new jumper
I can’t seem to sleep thorugh crooked monologues
I don’t think Car Boy will derive any pleasure from this (here) sonnet
2. a giraffe wearing nail varnish
Get through summer get through the cracked poisoned dreams
Fettered childhood of O J Robson
Dreams of vanishing bloody remains
Airplane blues/ famous left hand
Famous left-handed people
Kid waister (why do ghosts float?)
I went down into the water to discover my future ocean baby
Arseholes on the moon
Chubby hand gestures
A perfect day in the Ostrich Farm
We eat something that reminds us of our years of captivity in the Zaire jungle
The Advenutres of Charlie and Cubby / gays on the bus
Packet of dreams
Sketches from the book of the dead
The jelly that we found in the corpse’s cavity
Smiling at the funeral
Training dogs to talk like humans
Korean dandruff
Leader of the emaciated world
Walrus wearing nail varnish
Chicken in a dog basket
Wolf gristle
Mr No One Loves U..i love your ass!!
Web of titties
The big shiver is back off (someone brought a heater)
Sexy ghost
Boasting about the size of your egg
Fingerless men
Eye-level ghosts
Do ghosts breed? Golf is hateful?
Floating bone
Droxy doll (adapted from the short story ‘Woody Allen’s Fake Paper Moustache’)
Writing about homeless warlords in the dining room of the late (and not very great) Alfred Hash
Fred Astaire and the out-of-date hash cakes
Alfred Hash sitting in a café talking to a floating bone
TV Eye- We noticed  a cat painao drifting through Basingstoke
Brilliant leftover buildings
Addled channels
They breath too heavy at xmas
Rambo’s bones
Rambo and me!
Dirty old Rambo
Ramone Bones
Paul Revere’s chocolate castle
Odyssey of Scar
Temporary duck
We meow, we are the Cat
Glove full o’ gravy
Dadaist gravy
Glove puppy
Johnny Cash on the sailboat of bones
Return of the sand dragons
Underground baby
Chairman Miaow
He’s got a nose like a flute
Mustang David
Voodoo moderator
Chinless chickens
Jesus, help me with my homework
Defunct werewolf
Swollen shirt
The sweet (yet sickly) smell of earthlings
Coleslaw for my sisters
Superman is a fraud!!
Return of The Sluts
Kangaroo bone
Excessive dogs and cats of Japan
Under the hungry ground
Primary eye
Delicious lizard
The kitten’s fist
Circle of death
Circle of bitches
Making love to Liam Gallagher’s hairdresser’s sister-in-law
Big Boy’s Fist
Vulgar peanut
Too many magnets
Glad to be a humanoid
Moon glue / glued to the moon
Coco’s nuts
Hanging with  the Moon Man / David Bowie is allergic to Christmas decorations
Mermaid  skeleton in my attic
Brisk walk in hell
Tropical cowboy
The furry-chinned scholar was eyeing up my knee capse
Cracker addict
Watching the eye ghost / living with a tall old man and a very fat kid
Bathing with the polymath
Beard breath
Dead before breakfast
Lebanese myth
The new fangs of young werewolf
Cardigan sin
List of people that look like Salman Rushdie
Kipper Rushdie and the bland dreamers
Memories of a pink monkey / abrasive hoss
Horrific catalogues
Pink monkey in my out-house
Diseased monkey (fish called Nigel)
Russian trolls haunt our dreams
The other face of Disco
Frankie Howerd’s chocolate disco
I took acid for the first time in 1988…by 1989 I was free as bird (birds are free??)
Porky Christ
Fat Jesus
Under-weight babies scoffing veg
My mate Beth loves to watch TV in his boxer shorts
…a fat chipmunk eating a piece of deep-fried chicken
Wednesday gravy
Dolphin with rabies
Rabid gestures (forgotten dogs)
The day I broke Father Christmas’ jaw
Jawbone, make me feel heavy tonite
Cow jawbone
The illustrated guide to euthanasia
Gorilla whistle
Big boys love gravy
Dinosaur lines (AKA Dino Lines)
Line of dinosaurs (ready to attack a chicken cub)
Monkey trying to crack open a coconut on a brick wall (my mind is an egg)
Egg head (actually, my breath is warm because I have been putting hot rocks into it)
I like this idea (what is it? Hairy truffels? Speedboats covered in fur? What??)
Xmas nipples
Christ be looking a tad underweight tonite
Famously fleshy
Underground babies
The sordid act of union
United by fear (ooh, that’s a good one, Chris)
Aunty Argos (thanks, Christine)
Oblong corpse
Honky tonk homecoming
The boy that couldn’t find his piano!!
Chinese neck brace
The last days of Nigel Slater
Shiny harvest / they eat horses, don’t they? (Equestrian Banquet number 06)
Charity mash
Skinned bisuit
We spent a few hours spoon-feeding a baby hippo, and then we went home and drew pictures of aforementioned experience
This is ‘Gulf War Jazz’
World War II Jazz solo
School  days tatse of old wood / learning to pipe
Diamond-encrusted horses
Learning off King of Kids
Aye, I think I love Simon Gray (son of Peggy)
Seedy ballbag
This CD contains some of the worst poetry ever committed to tape
Life in the Bomb Squad (bomb squid?)
Bombing the sixth formers
Me and Michael eatin’ trifle
Happiest days of 1963
Dutch peanuts
You dumb soothsayer
The dirt that lies on the top of the corpse
Pocket monkey
Automatic hand-jobs
Cabaret egg
Crystalised muppet
Unassailable flesh
The gorilla pappy
Upstate boner
Bitter galaxy
Rain of tears
Fire ain’t as hot as it used to be
The ghost of Jesus Christ hid in Cliff Thorburn’s moustache
Nothing tastes like death anymore
Rotten dominoes
Moon booby
Pig egg
I think you  know the true identity of Jesus Christ
Gorgeous Jessop
Twin mosuctahes
Bearded ghosts
Clinical pig
Gimp butter
Gimp batter
Spanish rubbish
Grandad’s paws
The tame ghosts
Shrewbury switchboard workers re-union
Captain Faggot and the greasy popcorn
Greasy moustache
Greasy chimpanzee
Bottle of shit
She carried the bag of offal wherever he went
Mount Offal
We took a walk to the Offal Shop; laughed at a clown and proceeded to the bus stop
Poo lung
The Sea Jesus
Rotten goblins
Modern jazz mags
Hospital chops
Meat-free jazz / death of an abbatoir
Medieval nostrils
Giant Rambo / Giant Randolph
Tiny Rambo
Chocolate binocolaurs
Fallen off the offal wagon
Haunted by the glove puppet
Glove puppy
Funeral pie
Son of Gorilla (Gorilla JR)
Mystical piss
Pink blister
Stagnant dumplings
AIDS Promo
He left his bag of scag on the number 43 bus
Promising finger
Ginger cabinet
Grubby muscles
Pink network
Temporary owl
The owl that couldn’t sing
The bingo killer
Jazz war
Bum bag bandit
AIDS vs cancer
We travelled to space with a child’s face for company
Vince is my lovely Growler
Leper in the kitchenette
Microwaved eyeballs
Moustache story number one:- what can I do to remove this ‘tache?
Filthy butter
The expiation of Devon Marshall
Greasy bones in your suitcase
Man called Audrey
All the cute little gypsies
Field of creeping corpses
Modern shave
Rash shave
…a ghost trapped in a balloon
Daily llama
 hush boys, momma is comin’
Emerald bones
Spending time with snorting old beast
Haunted fish factory
Do ghosts have fingers?
We are all virgins in the eyes of God
Comb-over bone
Pneumatic network
Dog’s shoulders
Going to dinner wearing a 2 dollar tracksuit
Chinese Blister
I belong with the baboons
A man called Kevin sniffing Belgian waffles
Panalopy of shepherds
Too many redundant sick-holes for one so fond of Joy (sic?)
See-through babies
And the VCR was wrapped in cling-film and was emitting a kind of sticky goo from the bit where you
Meaty valve
Skinny little puppet
 I don’t work for Malville
Horror channel disco / imaginary sky nuggets
Chicken’s moustache
Euro cyst (electronic cyst)
Positive teeth
Makeshift egg
Dalliance with Jesus
Continuous moustache
Oh gawd, that’s a powerful cowboy
Chunky faggot
Mexican dandruff
Big faced lions
Zombie harvest
The zombie that couldn’t find his way home
Binky go home
Internet access for Binky (at last!!)
The peacock king
Internal myth
 removable lips
Zone 2 blues
Matchstick mouse
I wrote a very uninteresting piece on ‘The Secret Life of Jazz Sharks’ for ‘The Daily Bugle’
Sharks taste too big
Militant onion
Life and times of the bitter Londoners
Ska Tissue
Buff blind man
Death of Top Hat / (death of Top Cat)
Wallpaper museum
The last days of King Ross
Operation Wolfie
Forgotten doggies
Kiss the biscuit
The internet is a myth
My new bulldog
Groggy frogs
Million dollar eye ball
Milk white eyebrows
The pleasant incision
Irish lips / dreaming of a world of smiling infants
Thin lizard
Christmas drugs
The pyjama wars
Mannish machine
We like to sniff rubber things
European doodle
Captain’s biscuits
Afraid of a man covered in fur
Divine muppet
Dipping biscuits in an oozing cavity
The Illustrated guide to Ononism
Onions of hope
My friend the little plastic boy
We are mad boys and we like to hide under buildings/ skipper’s biscuit
Arthur’s blister
The mattress what burped
Gin for the sook
Living with the slits
Goblin’s nostril
Margarine-coated gums
Killer’s comments
Commenting on the porn show
Porno mojo
Ghetto curious
The curious corpse
Graveyard stinkers
Computerised jungle
Wolf Man slashing his way through the curtains
Slags of BBC Three
Wooden Pies
Aldo’s ticks
Can you get Modern Warfare 3 for the BBC Micro?
Hospital trophies
Aw momma, not pigeon egg pie again
The day they took the zombies away
We ate swordfish in Bill Beaumont’s restaurant (it tatsted like rugby balls)
Stretchy corpse
Falling in love with Alan Measles
My itchy bottom
Mouthful of sweets (poking fun at a deformed batchelor)
Garlic eyelid
Black internet
Proof of death (is whitewash)
Million dollar fist
Horse bath
Mick Jagger’s moustache
I was watching the 6 o’clock news, and I thought I saw some footage of a man I knew when I was 81
Anal bingo
Factory batter
Old God, pretty much dead
The sticky tape consortium
Plate of crack
Angelic drug dealer
Piano drug / sticky fascist
Drugs in your cavity
Drugs on the patio
Snoring after drug taking
Royal Dracula
Coconut on the carpet
Whispering bone
Childish chutney
warped bone
The bone that felt soft
Soft boner
Chicken and chips before bed time
Lil’ Mario
Formerly known as Doctor Mojo
Black Reality
Kiss me like a new born baby
Return of the jazz baby
Jesus is still  a baby in my eyes
Butter ‘n’ gravy
The man who thought Heavy Metal was dead
Heavy metal on your upper lip
Metal moustache
She poured gravy all over the crying infant
Gentleman’s banquet
Voice of Pob
Enoch’s Pal (florid death)
The day I presented Ali McGraw with a pig head on a wooden pole (like in ‘Dancing with the Diamonds’)
Pacman’s bones
The kingdom of conformity
Kingdom of heaven vs ditch of hope
On-line picnic
School burger
Vulgar picnic
Gentleman’s picnic
Picnic flesh
We opened the casket  to find it was filled with jelly beans and other types of candy
Vile minge
Edited by a polemist
“But you grow up. You do. You mellow out… You no longer find comfort watching a whacked-out God tormenting a wretched humanity as you learn to forgive yourself and the world
Old lady sitting in a tree house with a vile smile across her wrinkled puss
People don’t like to see pieces of  flesh falling from a human tree
Londoner’s eating flesh straight off da bone
Black man from London climbing through a plastic tunnel
Grave E / platter of pussy
Pussy platter and the blowin’ timebomb
Time to bomb yourselves
Misery whistle / misery six
Blackbird’s misery
Lessons written in blackbird juice
Convenient limb
Children of limb jungle
Piano clit
Sugared Marc Almond
Cream-filled balloon
The creamy atlas
Creamed walrus knuckle
The cat piano
Cat at the piano
Permanent cat
Dreaming of George
I stuck a sticker depicting a cat with a human face onto a cat’s face
Nanny McPhee / Man Eater 3
Teenage architecture
Greasy helicopter
Helicopter bones
Anal corruption
We corrupted the ducklings on Tuesday morning
Tropical rags
Post-modern room mate
Hey mate, can I borrow your fax machine?
Do you want to edit out my penis??
African banquet
Theatrical fingers
He was watching the ladies dancing with combination kebab spilling from his gob
Black Angie
Angie, Angie; when will you make the squid appear
Magic Angie
Future Yo Yo champs sitting in dog clinic waiting rooms
Monkey stubble
Talking on the phone using your stubble to make the sound of distortion
Huge Munroe
What the hell is wrong with making love in the morning?
Secret life of the popinjay (soiled Cream LP)
Darlings of the abbatoir
Abbatoir dinner dance
Coconut muff
Abnormal offal
The last hours in the life of a much-abused jester / feeding Uncle Ben’s Sweet ‘n’ Sour boil-in-the-bag rice to a caged orphan
Keith wants more time to build his dream sex theatre / sexy bingo bones
Skinny Japanese teenagers lying on the floor in the middle of a factory
Pence factory
My factory is your kingdom, Danielson
Trump bucket
Bag of buckets
The bucket was quickly filled with the blood which ran from the split corpse
Pork bookie (do what you do)
Baby bookie (cigarette for chimp)
Smoking in the bookies
Penguin dumpling
Cookie dung
smoking ciggies with the kiddies
journalist consuming onions on the way home from the Werner Herzog interview
juggling God’s eyeballs
kitten walking around an abandoned theatre
we dressed to look like sex mice
pouring bourbon onto a decomposing horse corpse
Mr Talking Hoss being filmed not talking!
'Chocolate Covered Mornings, Medieval Afternoons and Nickel Plated Evenings’
The dog that looked different to other dogs
Crispy glove lying on the sidewalk
The dog that looked like a boy
Ice cream for lesbian
American filth
Beatles Peanut
Beatles Rap
I left my tin buddah on a shelf in my uncle’s flat
We lifted up the massive rock to reveal a collection of squashed potatoes with small faces of Hollywood stars etched onto them
Maybe I will eat the corpse now
Going to California to get some sun and some spiritual advice from a bloke who wears a dressing gown in the daytime
Sexual anxiety on the way home from the Gas Works
Killer A
"I saw Billow that day, but he didn't see me."
The kid killer in you
Gaunt women riding bicycles very slowly
The ghosts that you dream about killing (fag ash)
Ash of fag
A big pile of creamy dreams
That is one charming cadaver, Mr Principal
Psychological hot dog (list of drummers we would like to elope with)
Smiling with fur-lined teeth
Book one :- the velvet creation
There were many scratch marks on the bottom of the coffin lid – this means that the corpse had long finger nails
Sex with Kings
Horrisonant sounds emanating from the mechanical coconut
Maybe Jazz will stop bleeding in a sec
Tweed Britain
Comb your hair and think about all the people you hate (I hate my friend)
The day Vic Reev touched my innards
Gout tastes great
Cream of umbilical chord
Big fancy faces of the New Lads
Book-keeper’s nose job
The two faces of Groucho Marx impersonator
Internal jacket / candy drum
World of Herzog
Fruit gun
Mantra of Herzog
Teenager called Keith
Men with big foreheads studying dying toads
Some people find it hard to smile in the morning
A 15th century painting of a rabbit being shot by a svelte prince/ bearded panic
The man called Keith who couldn’t shoot rabbits properly
Crucified by Albert
The frugal repast
Pablo’s first dream
Don’t send me to Vinegar City
 the charity robot
Jazz dandruff
Golden colon
Rabbits writing out their secret thoughts onto the back of a lettuce
Modern love tastes pretty good
Plastic echo
The echo reminded us of the captivity yrs
Hankie magnet
Mesmerised by the magnet
Fried society
Deep-fried friend
Choking on art
Joe Cobra and the Glass Boys
Classy dawgs
Swarm of ghosts
Maureen White and the hand-me-down ghost
Ghost fudge
Emu at the gates of hell with a kettle of dreams
Priapic disco
Creamy Dracula
The funky Dracula
Creamy valves
teeth glistening in the sun
The girl who had a balloon for a head
Kettle full of dreams
The Lion, the witch and the cupboard full of old sports equipment (ie. rugby balls and soccer shin-pads)
Homosexual personality
Smoking to be boring (David Bowie Meat Exchange) – loose adventure
Life is a cigarette – it makes you cough and you often run out when walking back from the shop
I am a smoking gorilla – called James! (ignorant bliss)
Supermarket sheep / stabbed in the waste pipe (hilarious blisters)
I support Black Wrist / corpse on the rollercoaster
Victorian dogs
Naming the dogs after long-dead infantrymen
Showering with the big boys
Hot plastic dogs melting in the sunshine
Billy Ray in Cyprus
Death of Billy Mitchell and Number 2 Dog
Pele Jackson’s chicken crust orchestra
I patted my dog on the head (my dog is named ‘Pele’) for the eighth time today
The chef replaced my sausage with a brown cucumber
Gay atlas
Gay for Capt. America
World’s first gay swimming instructor
I chucked my pet dog into the air and it never came back down
Heterosexual triangle
The graveyard was littered with abandoned tractor tyres, which prevented us from accessing the gravestone of Arthur Krudup
Put your face into tractor tyre + let me take photo
Shovelling baked beans into a corpse’s breathing hole
Dark summers / lamenting the passing of artistic leper
Shovelling popcorn into a corpe’s mouth
Python on the dancefloor
Ostrich in the graveyard digging up a corpse with its beak
Momma don’t wanna see no stick insects crawling around her front room
The boredom that emanates from the stick insect cage
Doomed kings and lippy babies
Baby king
My pal donkey of suburbia
Master of death / introducing the school children to fearsome laughter
Orphan’s dandruff
Shake out that dandruff, boy
Poc-marked dog
Can I watch your dog?
..she gave me a photo of a convict burying an alligator in the desert
Candy flaps
The flaps that protected our nose jobs
Mugged by the ghost
Gas-mask on a ghost
Hopsitalised ghost
Ghost eating a banana
Haircut on a ghost / she made love wearing a banana flavoured body suit
Homophobic clingfilm
Homophobic sunrise
Homophobic immersion (candyfloss abbatoir)
Kinky roadshow
Homophobic teeth
My teeth remind me of your father’s last painting
Kinky army
Old man’s whistle
The kink in the pope’s curtains
Kinky poetry (bingo rasta)
Thinking about the face of Trevor McDonald
Voice of T McDonald
Turd burp / McDonald vs Rossiter
Primary eyes
Kingdom of ‘eyeball jazz’
My record label is called ‘Eyeball Jazz’ and the top-selling band is called ‘Fruit Scone’
Legion of jazz maestros waiting at the doctors
Doctor says ‘mush mush’ /  he is a jazz trumpet maestro and he needs some medicine
World famous arsehole
Studying a duck’s arsehole
The curse of Pee Wee Herman
Herman Monday and the Weekly Yawn
We like your Yawn
Squashed oranges in the street remind me of home
Home is where the weapons are kept
Fat boy and the cripple
The fat dripped off the steak and we all rejoiced
Duck study class one (the arsehole of the duck)
Check-out chubby!
Chubby got married
He took a back-issue of the Akron Beacon Chronicle and read it to the kidnapped children
Gravy-stained maps (daddy’s back issues)
Duck in the background
The discovery of daddy’s back-issues
cannabis chronicle / day of death of bible
Cannibal chronicles / chronic cannibal
Distraught leper
Taking drawing lessons from Rolf Harris before entering the drawing comp
Rimbauld and the discreet corpses
Rancid potatoes for fur-lined corpse
We pushed the crippled buffalo into the holy waters
This soup is great, but it tastes like washing up liquid
The day we decided not to re-introduce capital thought punishment
She gave me dog food when I really wanted mog food
Chomping on dog food on xmas morning (hillbilly steam burger)
Sticky Christmas
Coated in duck sperm
My uncle stood at the hospital window staring at the dark clouds and the febrile swans which just happened to be flying past
Clouds tatse like the hospital mash
Hospital mash and girls wearing  goblin boots
Gang of bodies
The pirate is smoking crack
Gang of bones
Lady Gaga is the girl for me
Men who look like Lady GaGa
The personalities of tigers
This tiger which doesn’t wear a face mask
Tiger tampax
Cornish disco
Dunking gentlemen into the water and then travelling off to a Cornish rave
Seismic shock from the reverberations emanating from the Cornish Disco
Mr Word Clamp and the Medicine Ball dancers
We cannot attend the Medicine Ball as we have run out of cough syrup
Coughin up ice cream on a trip to French Medicine Ball
Pugnacious tramp
Half-eaten corpses litter the ‘sidewalk’
Are American people real?
…she painted her eyelids with egg yolk
The smell of egg yolk permeated the living quarters of Jazz Jesus
Jazz for Jesus
The day superman lost his virginity in a castle in Sardinia
Castle called Clive
Jazz trash
Jazz in the water
Was it jazz or did you spook a cuckoo?
Randy trash
The wonder kids deactivator
Deactivating the horses
Plastic spoon collection
French-kissing a spastic
Mesmerising spoons
The most attractive truck driver in Texas
Dad’s antique farm
Intergalactic farm hands
Biblical talons
Biblical  puff
Pathetic androids
animals romaing in the ice village
Fire in the deactivated morning sky
Cantonese Voodoo
. I found a VHS tape of Pee-wee’s Playhouse that was wrapped in condoms. It was almost like voodoo
Hungry for more voodoo vicodin
You can lose it, and some men will surely lose it now!
Monkey is stylish
Skeletal crew cut
Not enough people climb trees naked these days - tonight I hang up your face
Dirty cushion in the bottom of a skip
Riot cushion
Onion gravy all over the cushion
Candied bones
Bones in the out-tray
A dish of fragrant bones
Golden monkey
Sexy language barrier
Sexy foot soldiers (uniting over dead breakfast)
Invisible glamour
Goat’s mouth glamour
Are you Tom Petty in disguise ? (birth of firing squad)
Tom Petty and the abbatoir shufflers
Your head is a steamed swede
Oil your fangs, Jeremy
3rd shit of the day
Piping out Church Music to the beautiful freaks
Woken up by Jive Bunny
Say goodbye to the sweetcorn
Mickey Mouse is not really a mouse, is he?
Condomn on a horse
Horse named Mr Jacobs
Horse in my back yard (eating some chips)
Wolf wearing a feather boa
Auto ghost
Gorilla (in the) moon
My first moon baby
Human with a clown’s mouth
The mouth that lied to Jesus
Asian Jazz / Alsation Jazz
Filthy banquet
Gentleman’s banquet
Sniff the abbatoir
Abbatoir blues (courtesy of Kurt Russell)
Kurt Rusell and the drunk foot soldiers
Saliva-coated carpet
Silver egg dust (my gorilla is my friend)
Donald Duck is my brother
The voice of Norman Bxter came through the TV speakers
Mental deadline
Fire engine eyes
Living the high life (in Eddie Murphy’s garage)
Golden drugs (my name is Eric the Drug-addled Sailor)
The theatre curtain was covered in a substance which resembled seaman
Greasy eyeball
My list of goodness- 1. felt-tip vulture 2. stringy little beavers 3. caged humanoids
We slaughtered all the healthy farm animals and then went on down the road!!
Three naked angels (eating some pie)
Pie loving society
Sock-puppet in my sock drawer
Dirty vacuum
Gorilla in the sunshine
Helicopter breath
Spoilt alien
The hairy eyeball
The drum that changed our outlook on ‘the’ life
Spandex –clad drummers
Baby in the moon
Spectacular baby
Blood on the catwalk
Chicken jazz octopuss (Arthur’s New Beards)
Coronation Street Chicken
Dub up your life, children
Gypsy chips
Kinky gypsy
Hobby whore
The whore and the piglet
People with silent mouths walking around in Uganda
What does a horse look like?
Dogs in the attic
Richard’s horse sauce
Bent monster
Bent gorilla
The bent submissions
The day the Beegees left their underground bunker
Bunker of joy.
The pieces of fruit that lied dormant in the bunker
If you’re going to make love to me, you need to remove that stinking glove
Underground glove
Vic Reeve- the cauliflower years
Vic Reeves loves myself better than himself (no he does not)
Cauliflower rash
Amy Winehouse liked to hang out with rough cockneys
Amazing number three – the death of Maxwell Graham
Assuage the chuckles
Evil chuckle
Lunch, dinner.. both times we had peacocks
Two monkeys sharing a crown
Buffalo-flavoured crisps are my least favourite
Temporary batter
Naked  for pope
Hot cobweb
Prolix cabbages
Punks of satellite town
Legend of ‘Bertha Hernia’
Birth of hernia
Birth of hernia
defunct caravan
Kidney biscuit
Disseminate the news that Martha has had a monkey-baby
I have had the same mobile phone ring tone for 2 days!!
Look into a spaceman’s eyes
Barbie’s eyelids
The eyelids gave it away
Eyelid soup
Ancient fist
We tried our best to fall in love with the Jazz Baby
Psychic Discoveries Behind the Iron Curtain
Terry and his pet monkey attempting (in vain) to ease on down the road
Anal matrix
Sexual antics of the American Swimwear models
The western syndrome
The filthy pineapple (WS was gonna be the last entry)

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