Tuesday, 22 December 2015

Francis Bacon - champions version

This is the best slime mother could get / rolling into a new age with tobacco, sheepskin coat and jazz rag / hospitalised cucumber / easy like a daffodil / caveman playground / burping into the face of the aristocracy / I removed my tank top and gave it to a bemused street poet / the tenth person to leave the train looked almost exactly like my third best friend in high school / we waited patiently for the chapman to leave town and never return /  my three-year old nephew painted a lovely picture of a gorilla escaping from a zoo.  / a talented pianist is lamenting the fact that he cannot abide the sound of the piano / why can’t Bess Amos spell? / your mother was a wicket-keeper / harmless dandruff / a ruffian, a slightly camp preacher and a hobo named Raymond / preaching to the curly-tongued / Dinosaur put-up / a penchant for arse / skinny gorilla / talented octopus / the fiery eyes of Jason Deuce / kids will play bingo / smoking a joint on the way home from your bat-mitzvah / angry young helicopter / ongoing tales of the undefeated chess hero / practicing your stance in front of a greasy spoon cafĂ© window / I peeked into the bordello and felt a pleasant sensation of arousal / fat man wrestling a crocodile for fun / beefy young men are taking my mother home / I caught my wife smelling butterflies with German exchange students / I sang a song for a dwarf priest / a diminutive super-model is harassing my father in one of the busiest parts of Basingstoke / a tree fell into the road and crushed a turtle / a man smoked fags whilst whistling the theme tune to The Godfather Part 2 – who witnessed this and did they get any film footage? / I told you already, my feet are mine and mine alone / the wishing apple (cobbled-together veg) / capital punishment is so last century / killing the dreams of odd-job men /  iron out the creases in your smock and come up to my sleeping quarters and clean off the  dirty mark from my pyjamas /   Marxist homecoming / traveller’s warts / peacock on the hour / I slept in a tram and woke up with a tooth missing / shiny Ppolish people / dermatology now! / a young Korean exchange student is whistling the theme tune to Emmerdale Farm sotto voce / I sat in a puddle of damp clowns and twistsed my nipples until they bled a little / the urine on your shoes looked like gilding on a soldier’s cape / if I had my own way I would go home South / a Glasgow strawberry is still a piece of fruit is it not? / if I fold my cardboard trousers once more they may crumble like cheap shop biscuits / I sked you nicely for a rise and all you did was watch your fifth hour of television without even bothering to turn your head /  if you keep climing that ladder you may soon realise that the sky is not made of anything really / I encouraged my father’s boyfriend to switch off the TV and come over to give me a hug / if I were you I would be a jealous cowboy with the mind of a young child / a fragrant fart is not a proper fart / sometimes girls screw their eyes up at me and rasp loudly like an unruly builder / Lincolnshire is a county in which you can stand still for a long time without anyone bothering to ask you what the time is / I like Luke but I do not like his noisome ways / can we not cuddle up on the sofa and pretend it is a woman? / some ignorant fellows are loudly ignoring my beautiful attempt at street performance / we huddled together both to keep warm and because the friction caused us a carnal enjoyment which we failed to share with one another / I removed my small hat and placed it on the head of the African veterinary surgeon / shelled peanuts littered the graveyard / a scorpion is yawning..who has seen this before? / the skull of a famous TV presenter is on display in the museum which my uncle visited every day until he was incarcerated for displaying his nipples in public / some people in my village will never see a toad / an embarrassing silence ensued as we waited for the fun bus

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