Friday, 24 June 2011

Rejecting the Internet (in 1957)

Eat Fruit



Opera Bong
The Russian Beatles
Cupping the balls of God
Changing into funny face
Butter-coated bullets
Sexy Mormon
(gorilla fingers)
Seaman sock
Sock full o’ seaman
Me and my wife smoking Cuban cigars on the way home from the water torture exhibition
submerged devils
Thigh drum
Harassed by sea fairy
The hovering missionaries
Roxanne’s chubby middle finger
Fat lips smeared in mayo
Diseased computer
Do ghosts have bones?
Sexy chuckle
Zoo feast
Pro rasta
Electronic wolf
Creamy weapon
Nesting with the trannies
Sleep-eyed jesus
Toothy skeleton
the milk worm
Guns on the dining room table
Captain Frog-Gut
Crazy in love with the Benjamin sisters
Who loves the capet ducks?
Cowboy puttie
The archaic replicant
His face reminded me of the desert
Permanent afro
Writing minimalist poetry on the back of an orphan’s log book
Bungalow fudge
Mouthful of kippers
Andrex death
Gorgeous jesus music
hoss spasm
ancient wank
Spicy corpse
Three pence hand job
Jazz bladder
Raising hell with Mr Marble
The day I discovered a coke-addled goblin in my back lounge
Mustard-covered road maps
Trucker’s paradise
Strangle the onion
I want to sex up your gravy
Merman memories
Euston lip
If we still feel kinky this time next week..
The jazz vulture
Pissed in the heatwave
Goblin on the corner
Snogging the belial
Moustaches of Hollywood
Textbook human
Olympic wet dreams
Garnished with offal
Christian Butterfly
Baby’s tariff
Drag queen of secondary modern
Puff finger
angelic bongo
Congo mash
The sunny thumbs
Buffet gloves
The actors were boring so we just filmed the audience
The Bruce Forsyth saga
His fist was made of plastic
Cerebral bicycle
Lipstick on a corpse
Chimp biscuit
Medi-eval wheels
Fingers on a ghost
In love with the mendicant
Pork supper
Wobbly manure
BB King Gun
chimp's wish list
Too many microphones
Smoking butterfly dust
History of the water balloon
Dairy moustache
Goin down into the pits of hell with a bag of porno mags and a can of condensed milk
We gave her a box and she filled it with chicken bones
The fried chicken tatsed much better after a bout of anal sex
Gorilla in my bath tub
(shit twitter)
See Pinetop spit blood
Can of monkey brains
What did she say? (it was 'can I borrow some specimens?')
Failure of the dead
Teenage Congo
Juicy radiation
Lesbian in the time machine
A left hand job is usually superior
Two and half babies
The electric priest
Mormon puppet theatre
questionable breath
No Emperor Burger for me, thanks
Danish stubble
Inside the mind of a deformed clown
Talcum powder-coated rainbow
Ghost in the back garden
Jolly corpse
Sniff the dash board
Scattered gums
Rubbing yerself up against Pacman's stubble
Cowboy’s eyelids
She wrapped clingfilm around her face and then covered her breasts in chutney
Kidney statue
Statues of famous otters
Chubster butter
Getting high on ghost breath
Acid picnic
Chubby pussy
Mobile slaughter house
Puff royalty
We took out cold meats and layed them out on the floor (to be inspected at 3.30 pm by the man with the biblical moustache)
Signature pigs
The buggery storm
Vampire in the heatwave
King of the Ozone Layer
Forest in your back yard
I knew the day would come when you would suck my thumb
I look in your eyes and I see the devil I used to know
Smog is great!
toilet vultures
man of the mouth
so this geezer in a fackin’ black ‘elmet comes up to me and says ‘Luke, I’m your fackin’ father’
Sleep dep. Is our ‘drug’
The startled monk
Creative rap
Building the hedgehogs up over the course of 2 days
Microblind puff dragons
shylock eating porridge at 3am
Grinning like Andi
Bibile crutch
Rejecting the internet
Bible Leak
Famous Blonde Android
Gulping the blood of Him
Harvest crip
chimp with a Human nose
little plastic kid follows me around (all the time)
pepper pot porno
Creamy fingers
Circling Kong
Marxist preachers and tea time teachers (I love you)
Forgotten passages of the well-remembered bible
Rubber tummy
Leaching the prince
The illegal gospel
Albatross kings
Mental blister
Vulgar butter
Rotten goblin
Petting sausage
Boxed skeleton
Her golden egg was shining in the light of the moon
Werewolf with too many fingers
Killer benath the sea
King Wiltord and the frog-faced enemy
Enema of the Gods
Huge organ
Wouldn’t you miss me if you escaped?
The jealous sandwich filling
Breaking up with the vulture
Lonely hamburger
List of chickens I would love to eat
They wrapped the champion in bear fur and cling film
Inherited by Chubby Monster
Ashtray baby
Ain’t no forks in the Chinese restaurant
Woodpecker in my glovebox
Reliable chutney
Garlic helicopter
Hurricane Dickens
Karate bingo
Inside a massive boy’s imagination
Puss puss key hole surgery
Little white tonsils
Number 00- A homeless man with a beautiful operatic voice singing the word "bacteria" in an empty dumpster in Chinatown.
Better than butter:- the last boy to leave the christmas party
It don’t matter if you’re a garlic-fearing vampire, you can still enjoy my latest recipe
Feathered pistol
Rasping like that guy called Julia
Men named Eddie leaving the ‘Hospital Horse’
Abandoned jungle outfits
Can dead people dream?
The golden android that preferred coffee to motor oil
We are the sun children and we will sleep in the morning
Gorilla grinning with big tombstone- like yellow teeth
He spent 200 australian dollars on a set of teeth which once belonged to Sidney Poitier
She spent all of her time wishing she was The Devil
5 cents is enough to bring back Holy Gordon
The biggest sock we got
Movies made in the morning tend to be better
Kip Sweetwater and the bitter belly pork chefs
Drunk on the future
Blank buildings of new worlds.
Devils of Honky Tonk Parade
Cupid’s wet dreams
dreaming of a bout of autodidactic surgery
Avuncular fish heads / warped heads get together
my kind of fish
…when superman were shy
It’s the blimp it’s the blimp (call momma)
German and Russian men talking about clouds
Coughing up moon dust
In love with a Russian street performer
Missing the poison
Definition of a (deleted by drug user)- A man who can play the accordion, but doesn't
This entry was thought up by the man that never tried used water
If we sink further we may as well start eating biscuits again
We left the slut in the canoe with some picnic left-overs and cold tea
Smack for breakfast
Lobbing goat skulls thru the vatican’s reception window
We knocked off LL Cool J’s pork pie hat for fun
Coloured bear
The darkest days of the Raj
Matchstick fist (MTV on acid)
MTV spooky ghost portal
We heart spooky houses
We arranged the little porcelain chicken effigies on the lunch counter and invited people to inspect them for cracks
dandruff excluder
Mouse organ
Kinky woodpecker
Ridiculed by a deformed baby!
Whispering rockets
I met Paul McCartney and he was wearing my mother’s apron
Bongo rocket
The sound of a baby leaving the womb for the first (and only) time
School kids getting happy on Friday morning
This plastic divorce
Stand back when the horse comes
Pony with a tiny little baby sown into its fur
Tiny little babies floating above Manhatten
Nanny's Meat
Meaty Maps
nanny dandruff
big-boned corpse
Wig made of bear fur
Argument pie – (A dead man in the back seat of a car with a fly crawling on his eyeball.)
German feet
Fish bones in paradise
Airbonre infant
The tiny little babies that float above our heads when we are trying to get out of a cage
Mu mu flesh
Chinese dandruff
Making fun out of people from the underground
Creole bone
Taken by a naked creature in a puffa-jacket
Dinosaur mind
I didn’t see a newspaper headline for three days
Black santa
I agree with God on just about everything
I was born in Brazil and I am covered in fur
Wank rupture
Banged up for sleeping with a ghost
senior cobwebs
The only reason I colloborate with Mr W (Good Luck) is because I admire his teeth
"Ghetto Buddha"
Johnny Carson’s umbilical chord collection is rotting in the sun
Addicted to hospital cheese
Obtuse leper / circular perm
Take out your fangs and gently bite my ball sack
Temporary batter
The beautiful face of Giles
My head – blank blank (stop talking to my list)
Indexing the death certificates
Ambrose of the vicitimsed
Movies about people that only eat grapefruit
Oily hair of the perpetually dirty
Muscle dust
Beautiful Rambo
Web of shit
We decided to drop our e's humanist funeral parade
Piping out the doom-music
She opened her purse and a beautiful butterfly flew out
Functional arsehole
Kinky Rambo
My arse is so trendy
Colourful Jackson
Blind man driving an ambulance
Colourful tits
Jungle curtains
belly button sauce
dancing with the spoon-fed old people at the mid-nighties jungle disco
hey you guys..let’s fall apart
Werewolf in cheap clothing
in love with the missing kitten (i saw him on the telegrpah poles)
Those lovely bones ya keep in ya breast pocket
Picasso drew my twat
Unicorn wrapped in cling-film (from E Bay)
Electronic Insertion
Choking on art
Defunct story teller
The way we strayed
remains of fatherhood
Box of bubbles
ancient teeth falling from the sky
Roger Rabid
Gimp pickle
Pansy in the boxing ring (holding a flower and trying to avoid being hit in the coupon)
Ghosts of Morocco
Junk shop chicken
Minstrel with a mouth ulcer
Grand Miaow
Tits made of ice cream
Pagans of Quebec
homoerotic mix tape
Carry on, as if the lights were still on
Gary Shandling ate my harvest

Coconut rash
Oiled-up king kong

every morning the cockney licks his lips and salivates when thinking about Jellied Eel Day
Discussing American sports with the bearded hotel owner
The curly triangle

Corpse in the wheelbarrow
This year I spent 95 quid on meat
Puppets in the ocean
Big man in a tiny hole with some monkeys
Bearded appointment
Gone with the trump
Ghost poetry
Ghostly palour of the chief of the wan androids
Dirty Cling Film Island
As the cassette recording of your dead aunt ended we began to pick our noses with gloved fingers
As the day goes fast, we salt our meats
Kinky Nintendo
Shit pickle
Kinky pilgrims
Do kangaroos have thumbs?
my asshole has recently been stuffed with Japanese Tobacco
your mysterious bag of lips
Them bloody terrorists!
Minced like a pig
Rancid corpse sitting in the day centre
We sprinkled sugar onto the cadaver, but still the old people just wanted to go home and eat potato + veg
Gimp in the sunshine
creamy horse / astronaut in the abbatoir
Wet dinner
I am a veggie, so instead of human flesh I shall have a carrot or two
Janet sat alone in the graveyard and read a passage from ‘Ghosts in the sky’ by unknown author
Forget what I just wrote on the internet
Dead internet
Black butcher
Take off that cowboy hat, we’re in the big city now
Texan homecoming (bring out the cooked meats)
Gay men at the bottom of the ocean
Is it OK to flick thru catalogues when you don’t wanna buy nuffink?
I was so embarrassed cuz my mum was flicking through a catalogue during the whole journey (but she had no intention of buying anything)
Fat leper
Studying lounge rats from afar
Chamber of devils (grrr..)
My head was in Christina’s dinner
Eating the gravy
Cricket bats
Enormous coffin
Bin man in a  dinner jacket (unusual sight)
Fag gadget
Tight sweat
This animal is too basic
Free as a bird.. in a cage!
Black whole
We hate babies
A field full of  fraggle babies
Cucumber for a nose
Dissident rainbow
Alsation with a curved nose
Elastic biscuit
Buffalo of New York City
Orange violence
The crush down in the basement
Death reconstruction society
Coco kidney
Patterns in the moon
Wet index
Lombardo Blisters
Godzilla in the out-house
Muddled queers
Grand mash
Let my hair down easy
Ghost mustard
Wheels on a rat
Bike ride on Mars
The day the robot started rusting
Goblin on the cushion
Wolf in the library
The librarian was totally naked except for her skirt and hat
Pink microwave
distant shit

Walking home with the ape

Christmas on crack
Do you want to go to Manchester with me (my name is Paulo)
Rivers of love (cream dream)
Puppy inventory

Itchy toe
Stroke my hair and call me Pony
Bone pony (boneless pony)
The cat always licks his chops in the morning
Princess with one finger missing on each paw
Frog oil
We take our hands and we raise them like children
Hippo glue
Imagine a world full of otters and Christmas cakes
Lord Summerisle had some curious-looking matter on his upper lip
Dormant machines can and will strike back
Kiss the priest (eyeball jam)
The drunk butcher (who chopped his own arm of)
Liver sausage, cold eggs and a bag of hash
Pony is my Honey (young man’s beard)
Tantric helicopter
Oblivious to the change of temperature in the out-house
Drinking gravy as if it were a drink
Poetry muscle
Pulling on the hair of Godhead
Do you want a bite of this veggie kebab? Has it got meat in it? No
Clump – vegetarian café in Cambrideg UK
Join the army – get a free haircut
Normal men and bizarre kids
The president proffered his hand for me to shake, but, it was not a hand; it was a bloody trotter!
Was Del Boy a communist?
The hairy fanny-pack
Deep-fried beard

Jack and Meg wiped each others faces with the hankie that they shared
Warped coconut
Harry Paw
Wash your hair and come back to me, Franklyn
Living with Harry Nilsson
Chamber of good-natured horror
Gloves off for hand inspection
The edge of the world / swine moustache
Fond of swine
Garden centre madness (I talk to da flowerz)
Zodiac wank
Abnormal turnip
Bob Holness was a good friend of my girlfriend’s cat
Oh woman, let me be your lover / sometimes I regret that  I  kissed Mike
Frank rules me with his tongue of meat
Joy of sex (with added sponge)
Sagacious lemonade drinkers
Lizard breath makes you woozy
Your dick is a trophy, really
The bottled perfumes disguised the hideous smell of his anus
Pocket anus
Anal hex
(laughing cobweb)
Flirting with a ghost
Thinking about love apples in the morning
Gower and the black-listed chickens

Do the canned dance
Aliens in the water feature
Betty got tanked up five days in a row and forgot all her dreams of leaving the caravan site
drunk on cobra juices
my little leather pouch was full of tiny chicken bones
Rebirth of Bambi
Planet of the Apes IV – Kiss my Furry face
Dogs of grunge music
Making humourous sculptures from the bones of the recently deceased clowns
Buried alive with Pingu
An extensive list of batchelors
Come down and greet rasta man
Perfumed trolls
Sun rats (sun rats)
Troll mother
The dancing corpse
Gorilla snout pipes
Her handbag was full of cement
Do you love Jesus? No? well, I do and I want you to LOVE HIM TOO
The day my sports bag was full of nothing related to sports
The salty knuckles
It is not my job to comb your hair
Making maps for the sugar babies
Dutch voodoo
Vince Gallo bit my lips
Gimme a Martini and a packet of cold meat
The cracks in the pavement contained little notes written by ghosts
Locked nest monster
German Disco
Caterpillar crust
Stop making faces at me, I am (a) Prince
I am a symbol of sexual inhibition
Ladies banquet
Itchy ghost
My gay husband blows his whistle every time he sees a lush lad
Eastern weasel
Chubby duck
Wearing your gorilla face mask to the monkey picnic
Beaten up by Jack Nicholson’s children
If I had a fish for every time she drank that..
Pierced for luck / the Ha Ha Ha Birds
Stubborn trombonist
Chucked out of the baby clinic on xmas eve
The day the sun shat itself
Yuck yuck bird / dreaming of a prince made of  fish
She wore her death suit and paddled out to sea
Incognito buffalo / butterfly fingers
Raging butterfly
Baboo Collins and the self-disciplined followers of Messy Child King
Croaking lizard vol. 01 (Deaf Buffalo records reissue series part one)
Wizard vs lizard / gigantic tonsils
i keep a little effigy of Stephen Fry in a used tobacco tin
i am dry, gimme some piss
Cabaret rank
Stubborn corpse
Do we still dance when the moon comes out?
The glove was made of leather and the packet of ham was fresher than the morning dew on that there skeleton
Denizen of earth speaking carefully to a piano dentist
Fascinated by your sun-burnt hands
Oiling up the corpses
Corpses at the window
Chronic bongo
Walnut in my wallet
..and we inserted a walnut into the gaping orifice
snacking on a sweaty man's orifice discharge
Peripatetic statue 
dirty breath of the loser
Recycling graves
Losing your marbles in the hospital library
Skeleton breath
Superchump 2000
Wash your hands before you touch my face
Wash your hands before mauling my chops
Crapulent otters
Jack the wolfman cries everytime someone calls him a hairy bastard
Clouds are cute
Baby in the bin
Elvis 1999 come back special
Crapulent nipper
Gorgeous swollen fingers
Necklace made of little baby bird skulls
Racing against the slow kids
Attractive blisters
Are you a ghost?
planets make me itch
Cinema on loop
Wank museum
Baby-faced skeleton
Verdant ditch / miracle itch
My mum has a beard and a moustache
Jesus Monkey
Forgotten dinner muscle
Lizard pimp and the lazy automaton
We eat cabbage soup!!
Distinctive voice of the Christmas Whore
Crippled cabbage
At the end of the street was a fairy with it’s wings all broke
Dismiss the skeleton from the rib theatre
Can we now dance w/ feathered skeleton
Addicted to commiting suicide
She who burns sugar before sunrise
I watch nothing but frog porn
Bastard in the water
Farmyard tart
Tinned deodorant
Tinned bereavement
Oliver the Pancake
Gorilla in a headlock
Clouds that make your mouth feel fuzzy
Beard bath
Dead man’s dream
Pre-order a ghost
Kinky gravy
A big field full of dead horses
Plastic hag
Blank pony  (white giraffe)
Book one (forgotten tonsils) – tiny eyeballs
wanked dolphin
boyhood gravy
lessons learned from the Fish Factory employees
golden whiplash
Juicy UFO
Perfidious armistice (beware of this, note it in yer scrap jotter)
Charnel house blues (version X)
Moustache on the patio
Rasping at the old ladies on the way home from gun club
Kicking the ghost where it does not hurt
naked eyebrow
Repeat after you (soccer moms)
The sexy witch
Travelling around the world with The Randy Peacocks
Jesus in jeans
Birds what look like the clouds they fly past
Jay Z looks like my mum
Friends with the animals, enemeies with the androids
…and then his monacle fell into the dog shit
Detached Fingers in the buffet
Perm division
Angel gravy / angelic gravy
Cotton clubber in the midnite spunk swamp
Swapping gorillas for monkeys
The dance of the half-dead
The nancy dragged his skeleton around like it was a fashion frock
The sea was red beacuase lots of people got mutilated by fish
Perfidious bible characters make me frickin’ sick
Oiled cucumber
Bonus goat
Welsh fossils
Fish chips chicken and hot girls – great nite
Stars of the shiping forecast
Missing the beast
Munching on sea cucumbers with the Glory Boys
Glorious sex.
Nibbling on a hash muffin on the penultimate bus home (I live in Brazil by the way)
Memorable biscuit
Lizard kissing a corpse at 3am
old woman looking for frozen vegetables
Biscuit lips
Clever children sitting inside machines
Bongo tittie
Making love with your arms tied behind your back
Afraid of alligator-man
Weekly Kojak
Very glad to meet you (are you a human?)
The weeping walnut
Glutinous Idiot on the marzipan mile
Petrol – coated thumbs
Waiting to dance with a puff horse
Sleeping androids dreaming of ‘nothing’
Toilet tourist
Bumflap manifesto
Count Driscoll and the mauve corpses
The day we formed a gang and proceeded to terrorise the town folk
Bent by inhibition
Too many toys can ruin a child and make him or her lose everything that made them good and pure
Death kiss 2000
The sound of impending doom made us fell comfortable
Soul chamber fruit music / homosexual hip replacement
Camouflaged priest
Artful fangs
The goose that taught us how to fart properly
Breaking away from the caged instructor
The mystery of secret fish
Post-american century blues
Stabbed in the control panel
Virtually dead animals
Death valley wish list
I took a council estate bird on a date to the local Jazz Club, and we fell in love immediately
The pierced soul of my man
Straight man’s haircut
Direct piece of news from the turtle’s gob
Penumbral death!!
Happy prole, sucking on an ice pop in the death swamp
Warren Oakes drifiting (through my village) and talking on the phone about birds and trees
Mauve death (pouring with acid rain)
Acid finger
We mixed up the remaining egg shells with some baked beans and coffee granules
Telephone biscuits
Seismic crush!

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