dishing - up peas to the blind librarian
overdue library books litter my games room
foreign batch in my laundry room
vulgar fingernails
poetry on the side of the high-way
info super highway free pots of sauce
free disco energy club
fed chips on the way to the hanging
ogre box
english banananas
sitting on the train petting a whale teddy
Irish person eating a massive vegan cake
white spook
david lynch trip boot
fireside chat with a supermodel
eskimo kitten
high tension flood gate catepillar trophy hunt
essential youth orchestra
fill yer gloves
we used old disco pamphlets to mop up the slime
90s night club flyers plastered over the stained glass windows
post-rag mop puppet
soft shoes on a ghost
emo on the bridge, holding a plastic flower
wanked off by a beef eater
beef for the gorilla
gorilla triad
pest in the outhouse
Peter Buck Luke Haines on the cobblestones
Iconic goblins
swamp cat
cube rats in VHS
milk club raffle - secret cache of slowly secreted tears
Suede duffel coat pockets are back in
making milk by virtue of a pair of tortoise's fingers
cowpart
onion saved me
the missing drug addict is in the chambers of commerce
the Paul Fish columbine drum
part fish, part harvest festival mascot
the plump veg we ate at Midsomar
district fish
we patted the puppy and went our way (headed for I***)
chopped sausage in milk
luxury teeth
your catepillar eyelids
flipper's milk
delicate Russo
king Of Licenced premises- Wilko Cyanide Tribunal
direct haemorrage
indirect free kick taker in pool of slime
ectoplasm direction
Sean Bean Fondue implant
dog comedy
flint implants
peel the orange a Euro Trash gal
turtle puff
sword fight in placid Danish street
crucial pig
the earrings your mother gave me last night
creased on the sides of the motorway
gay bus lane
powdered king if the road
flat species
dandruff rockets
we looked through (out of) the winda to see a passing goblin (smoking what was possible reefer)
greased wheels on a malformed Man-Buggy
french rust
spaceman's manure
listening to my Mr Bungle tapes on the way home from karate lessons
Tie Chi lesions
corpse lunatic
Francis the farm animal
George and his famous friends
lip sucker
stormy pudding
secret dancer in the back yard (knocking over the bar-b-q plus shit)
mass goblins
prison menu
goblets of liquor on the dining room table
check out the necklace, made from human bones and other improbable articles
a ton baby is slowly eased back into its mother's womb
slow and shocking...
2 MANY beef straps have ruined the cassettes
falling down with King Crimson on video
static egg
the loose blisters
powdered ruins
scout hut clearance sale
knock off lad mag
mud lads in indie chambers
these busted crops
festival of parking meters
crust pop
dust crust cassettes
crusty memorobilia stall
particles of fudge
crop bunkers
crime lard - not to be confused with crime lord or crime laird
is it a capital offence to write in small letters?
does fungus have to be removed from cheese before serving it to chimps?
when do i get off the carousel mamma?...now?
sipping grain alcohol straight from the bottle whilst waiting for me pedicurist to arrive
straight from prison we made our way to Madame Jo Jos
creeper whistle
beaten at breakfast
the traffic crops
helicopter gently hovering above as we sink our noses ever deeper into the coke
good dogs forever get their good treats
the peppered copse
a traffic cop with one hand on a baked good and the other hand on a plastic dog's chew toy
a man walks into Africa and immediately tries to impress himself upon the nearest cop
too many bruised fruits for my liking, dad
a pit full of catepillar bones
why has Google never helped me get a girlfriend?
i arrived late to the Chamber Music concert and had to wait outside. whilst waiting a cop walked up to me asked what the hell i was doing. i replied that i was waiting to be permitted into the chamber music concert what i had turned up to late for guvnor. the cop smirked and asked his fellow cop if he fancied a cup of coffee and a deep-fried donut (done in the Dutch style)
a big pile of cheese sits on the floor whilst we watch kids TV shows as we are stoned.
Pingu stands in the shadows as three polar entities fight it out
cream peas are nice
cream pea is nice
nicer than that rat we saw by the canal
a fudge stick dipped in shite for the final day
wheat tea vulgar landlis
the demented Speciments
dentist with one big tooth
took your shoes off and went for a walk with three Arab pole dancers
took off my shoes and allowed a baby seal to crawl all over my toes and my thumbs
my gorilla's feet are itching. my gorilla feet are itching
why do some dentists have no eyebrows? (there is an answer)
peddle steel drum chewing man
after Phil Minton, Goldie and Heck
i use perfume to hide the smell of vinegar
latest line-up for Shame Fest 2020...
The Naked Soap Addicts
Alone in Halifax
Naked and Shivering in a back alley in Newport
at the Dentist with some bit-part actors
grass roots porno star (star?)
popcorn double feature was two of the more obscure offerings (films) by the Marx Bros
Turner Brothers now seen on film
new punk band - The Creased Gloves
watching my Best of Becker All Seasons tape whilst doing up the dishes and washing the house
fuck i'm free
do birds still wash?
went to the car wash to see the rappers at play
a tiny hippo falls through the cracks but we rush to save it and all is well. we then gather round the hippo and get a nearby janitor to snap a photo on our new phones
Charli XCX is sofa surfing in my neighbourhood
perfect tooth (just the 1)
James Brown 2 Derby 0
a goblin without shoes
a plat of cold baloney and spelt was consumed whilst watching re-runs of 'season' three of Becker
it turned out the goblin was masked
shed of fools
wimps on bicycles
we arranged a fight between the Teds and a new faction who were yet to decide upon a name
crabs only go in the water when they want a wash
'pass us a cig' said the gorilla to the zoo keeper
watching Might Boosh re-runs on little tiny TVs in my mother's old council flat
is Fenchild a good name for my band?
i projected sundry eyelids onto the beast's countenance
fruits under the stairs (alongside a wide variety of veg)
cucumber splice allotment theory
fools round the back of the lorry park, conducting rodent orchestras
puffin microfilm
him and she are together with the piper
El Dorado Pram Psycho
the puffin indirection stub
stabbed with a blunt knife in mushy hostel
farce from the nite b4
pug from the night before
paraffin vampires
the snubbed nose of geriatric
pony costume fitting
perturbed sailor on land
man on the edge of a river, thinking about dipping his tail
pint of cough syrup went down a treat
the Bible Complex Refutation Symposium (yeah what?)
why are you looking at me with mixed eyes?
pencil in your flab
drug squab - yeah so yeah there so it is yeah
Yeah Yeah Yeahs were a good band until that guy with the tummy-tuck started playing with them
The Police are a good band but The Army rulex!
can you remember Slade? shit hole weren't it
building relationships with rogue builders
i joined a firm of young parrot impersonators and we stayed silent for weeks - what was that all about?
Keith Harris spent an inordinate amount of time with a green bird stuffed up his arse
i just spent my last rupee on a cold chicken milkshake... i regret that as it was my last rupee
listening to 'I'm Just a Teenaged Dirt Bag Baby' on micro-cassette
i just read the Loser's Diary and it wasn't as tragic as one would expect
Tragedy is a Bee Gees song which got played one too many times for my liking
Gemma Asker in the dance floor
quasi modem
plunge pudding
Abrocat Collective
faded denim looks good on a goat
you would look good in my mantel piece
pub rock disco corpses
bog pocket
Chandler and Ernie got their own show
Bros tapes in my pocket
star fish worm
