Ernest WWW (Shaved Myself Before Xfast)

'Re-Entry on a FT'

'36'

'Ernest WWW (Shaved Myself Before Xfast)'

'The Teeth'

'Oldham - Northern Smiles'

'New Ssex'

 the best thing I found on my trip to the Ancient World was an old ape in a glass coffin (clutching a yellowing copy of The New Testament) / ape was mentioned in the bible over 1900 times / the glory of being alive on the last Sunday of the month / moth-bitten corpse/I made a cassette compilation of songs they banned from the whore houses / jealous hand-me-downs /  paddling on the moon /little baby in felt boots / the miraculous beard of my father /black socks on the beach / he was a key figure in the reconfiguration of the end of the world sermon / I cancelled the cirrus because I really do not want people to have fun / now am I the honey devil-  road of the week / district chicks / keep your hands off my pop goblin / longing for a more experimental lifestyle /   the day we caged our missing teeth / voodoo code / a severe case of otalgia prevented him from playing his 6th guitar solo of the week / astronaut’s soup / contrary to popular opinion, D King is not my favourite actor / internet ball / I shoved my fist into the sack of mud / a day without whistles / rapper’s sheets /the rain fell down and kissed his hair / access to the graveyard is restricted on Saturdays /  God paints pictures with honey / I am in favour of internment for naughty little kids / my box of radishes and other great vegetables / jewellery on dogs / Queen tapes made me queasy / Hayley is in Comet (looking at a man she fancies) / my glass-top fish neck pipe revival / why don’t fish have proper necks /? A walrus traded his glove sin for a bag of cotton candy / filthy jazz horse / the spaceman still knew who he was, despite spending over 10 months in outer space / harmless baby / recrudescent corpse (modern zombie) / bag man’s triumph /Jesus had scary eyes.. apparently / long-forgotten Christ /crocodile curtains / in 2003 there were over 16 creoles in my father’s swimming pool /  at least he still has the rain (tidal tears) / I deleted everything you said / chutney on the dash board/ I still hope to learn how to love the bastard/ Tales of the Dead Pony / Prison chess team / he was dubbed ‘world’s greatest loser’ / Jimmy Jane’s nonsense audition (the horse lost his moustache in the storm) / bare knuckle DVD Clark Kent II / repetition (SSC1) – are you master? ‘haha’ x / entertainment now- Goose Fur 2 / Lionel made himself look beautiful in anticipation of the arrival of the ladyboys /a bag of circus cats left on my doorstep /  blonde baby with duck and or  goose fur coat -  as featured in hand-me-down cat magazine /  French sunburn / millionaire drug addict / plastic dancer / he drew tiny little smiley faces on his wife’s finger nails / fingering the future / Museum of distressed animals / went up West in my duck fur coat / Aboriginal anticipation  /I called out your name from the top of the conical hill /  I filled my nostrils with some kind of white powdered substance / King Plimsoll’s esoteric agenda / the day I took on a bird-like form and changed my  name to Kid Feathers / my day out with the Angry Moses / I want to start getting up before 4pm (nose job heroics) / Haslet Saturday (do you recall the day I switched channels in the middle of the show?) / I need to shave my knee caps / sausage cat / Dutch butter (no, really) / Perfumed Queens of the late Ice Age / IKEA Age / I hate receiving fashion tips form that glass worm / Hooper can turn me on any time he wants / fish banquet / Asian deformity / wheelbarrow baby / my lips turned blue, then green, then blue again / can you remember the day we all turned Japanese? /closing speech at Asian breakfast /the coconut opera / this horse looks amazing, Chris /  gorilla twister / I need to finger you before brekkie