'Page 17'
Gone Wrong, Baby'
'Who Took Your Number?'
'Beatle 80'
'Yaaraa etc.'
'Mid-90s Fantasy'
'Queen's Planet'
'SMD - A Drug?'
'War on Life'
Outrageous death of Mr Fang / the slow death of Albion according to dramatic bloke from TV / live for the fist/emancipated ostrich /Salvador Dali was a chubby infant / dancing with Gopnik / i got glass in my beard / I live my life with my head in the smog / the deaf dumb and blind acolyte / spoon in the mud/ I never met an actual gorilla/ driving around Luton with the infant cowboy / horses cannot draw good pictures / my girlfriend is a parody of a queen/
Image 01 – ape in a helicopter / I love to eat sweet corn for breakfast/at least there are no clowns in the jungle / jungle emancipation/ / floating bone / Duck Joe and chutney-munching polio sufferer/
80s were a good decade for getting laid if you happened to be a member of a successful (or at least semi-successful) ‘new romantic’ pop group / sizeable infants / A century of square-headed babies / the man with diamonds sown into his forehead/ bad breath on your wedding day / wedding day fart/
/ forged cuffs / the auberge was probably haunted/ Miss Mahogany '86 / diamonds are for a 'bit'/
I rested my egg on the captain’s cheap gut / the world is full of stinking demons / torched ice cream van / inside someone’s belly/ what’s so weird about using the internet? / you know the IS pull off your own legs / I rested my head on the captain’s fat pinguid gut/ we made love in the burnt-out cinema and then had an ice cream (which was melted) / trapped in an African speak-easy/whenever I feel low-down I think of Louis Armstrong’s beaming grin / greasy sideburns (WSP) /hospital treatise was complete fiction
1. without a doubt, my favourite peripheral ‘Goin’ Straight’ character is ‘Timmy Whiskers’ / spoon in the road
Billy Whiskers always gives you a clean glass.. that is why I come here, father / we are apes, are we not?(surely we are)/ we made love in the burnt-out caravan carcass (what’s the point of ‘the internet’?) / the dead internet / the Hi Life and Jeju cassettes kept us in high spirits on the journey home /Picasso and i/summer with my hot bones / glorious Leicester / jealous eyes among the summer sunbathers / drifting slowly in alcheringa high / I disentangled myself from Mr Hair/
I would describe myself as an Englishman who doesn’t want to be English / after seeing the clockwork monkey, I never though about sex in the same way again / bemired youths of Shropshire / Madonna of the Pinks always makes me smile/you shouldn't leave your memories in a wishing well / alligator's face / you can’t leave your head but you can shoot it right off / I decided to give my ‘Best of Jandek 1963-65’ cassette to my favourite niece / I knew you would look after my teeth when I was out working down da mines /sitting on the kerb with a cup of hot chocolate and a pack of cigarettes (and my sister's favourite porno mag) / my baby got oysters in her pockets/
I very much doubt if ghosts can actually fly , Morris / going shopping for jumpers with a 95 year old former electrician/ Tim Whiskers taught me all I need to know about antique biscuit tin forgery / echo in stereo / parallel spaniels/nobody really knows what to have for tea / 70s TV stars have mushy faces /merged boys/ why are your teeth here? / the stentor actually turned out to be quite meek / Punjabi hand job / swollen faces of the decomposing / ancient glue/sitting in old person’s house with your face all screwed up in a ball / Lego blonde / did duck hunting change the world?
my front lawn is littered with long-forgotten manically scribbled posit-it notes / twisted Beatle fans make me feel nervous
going shopping with a 94 year old former electrician / the smell of heterosexual breath in the morning (or afternoon) / feeling nervous in 1891 / 1891 pin-up/
my father should never have got involved with the Onion Glove Racket / a man in tight Armani suit chatting to a toad
the painted lord / farded publicans make me feel nostalgic / kebab crawlers / reptant babies freak me out / I cut out a picture of a young girl on a horse (on my way to the burying ground) / looked out at hanging ground and smiles as I chipped away at my teeth / a crushing blow to the hipster’s self-esteem / dead before the production begins / one man and his finger puppet / I often take the easy option when looking for a mate / selfish scarecrow / your pussy tastes better even than butter / homeless eye balls / I cut off my hair to make myself less attractive to you / I loved you ‘till you shaved off your beard and moustache / everything that lives under my bubble knuckle / I will lie on my belly and think about you / I crave to wake up and not have to wash my hair in a rain puddle / taught a lesson by the modern preacher / a bag of ‘Seaman’s Cat’ cassettes given to me by the preacher / I was introduced to God by the man in the salmon trousers/ running away from robots / I lined up the cabbages and I shot them one by one / Nick’s knotted fist / I traded in my air guitar for an air gun / I am me and I look forward to the next thing I write (buzzing around the shopping centre) /
I was suspected of being a ‘European’ / we plied the queen with cakes and sex tapes / the black cracker and me
genuflecting in front of a hoary old sailor who you have never ever liked / Japanese happiness / welcome to World War One
it was only my itchy head that lost us the war / Rachel; it was the pilgrims that ruined our marriage..not us / beautiful wolfs
massive dad’s moustache / glamorous puss is ‘on line’ now / we poured gravy all over the blueberry muffin / lunch time fascist /
life with the Sugar Demon / women are envious of my wife as she is tall, thin and has a big bag of painted eggs
now children, this is a serious question; who do each of you prefer..Mighty Sparrow or Lord Invader?
Homophobic members of the royal family were lined up and shot (in my fantasy)
allow me to gussy whilst you go and fetch the banger / death of Mark E Mark
painted Africans (Lemonade Head) / russet-haired kids surrounded the Sofa King / the thought of another man listening to my ‘King Crimson’ cassettes makes me feel angry (another man is living in my flat) / those other men who try to steal my best ideas (such as the one about the three brothers who had a competition to see who could grown the biggest and best moustache)
sit down, have a smoke, and pretend you are not English / Great Britain is only about the 66th best country in Europe
King Henry IV had a penchant for computerised jazz / deleted 1 and recall ginger OW Norfolk lad (20-something)
'I am Trevor'
the day Mighty Sparrow told me about his journey up Thunder Road
my husband handed me a scummy old cobra for breakfast / Betjeman’s breakfast consisted of (deleted by authoriser)
Hoary Muppet quote no. 02 – USA Cream Land
a list of trulls I went with during WW1 / Joe Orton was my 61st favourite playwright of the 60s (effortless limp) / big faced Jesus
beef on the sideboard / I am quite grateful to the Sandy
Mechanical Head – The Spirit of our Age / I refuse to show you the notes that George Michael made / GI Fried
Ringo Spartan and the Black Seagulls / floating up to heaven with Dennis and Kid Kia-Ora / in the garden lives Patio Sam
clouds that resemble faces make me feel melancholy / jazz abuse makes me nervous / nervous of the fur-covered girls / Toshiba baby / stunned French owl / i like to sit on a wall and admire girls with no shoes on / a frog with a small baby in it's arms / omnipotent bachelor / there is no T in shrimp /
A curly postiche once owned by West German World Cup winner / stentor in my bedsit (big sister blues) / the abnormal ditty / flask full of blood (yum) / Arthurian hair piece / days out with the Lobster boys (AFOTV) / bearded loser (of course) / novelty death /Skelton in the space ship /dusting off the cocaine (back on cheese burger hill) / his teeth were not clean enough for the photo shoot / shot out the back of a YM at speed / babies called Keith / hypnotic orchestra / we found them feeding on fallen flesh / fall of the Night Skivers (space race orchestra) / the jazz that sound tracked the nascent space race / passive astronaut/Shandy Bastard (tropical nosejob) / my penis smells of curry and that /
a date with fur-lined Simon / every NYC punk group had at least one member called Simon / taking tea with the fat-faced sheik iron curtain sex pot / behind the onion curtain / I just bought Joe Orton’s old fur coat from on-line auction / a pot of sex / you and your rubber neck / a pot of glue for the toddler /
the twisted psychology of Sugar Muff and Jack Daniels / I gotta get my foot out of the butter, Maureen / modern Sherlock/ Captain Jingo (UK poodles) / salad options / adult crap / fist of butter (luxury gums)/Capitalist jig (harness dolomite close) / horse-drawn pictures / trying to make light of the vulture’s bad breath / lost in the gloaming with Riverboat Sally and Simon Twite / fingered gorilla / Maureen’s sweet breath / crucified eternally/ Bradford Cox smears sunscreen across his face and tells ghost stories to a group of kids wearing printed button-downs and fedoras./ my holiday with ape / Sophie is a bad choice of name for a cowboy’s son / I gots to get off the butter, baby / dog boy and the butterfly / hippo’s orchestration / gorgeous garbologist (coated in shit) / Albert’s crusty collection. / is it still illegal to perform voodoo on the moon? / that legendary dead hoss / farcical cowboy / perm worm / the day we fired off some missives to the slag / abhorrent scholar / blind man wearing lipstick (AKA farded blind man) / corpse in the acid rain / I wrote my dentist’s number in the back of the bachelor’s notebook / truth seaman / teeth like piano wire / soaking in the acid bath / disturbed by the future / he dressed in a way which suggested he had never seen a bull dozer / harmless killers / African spasm / hammers, nails, cuckoo beaks, frosted cereals etc. / did I tell you that I bit my tongue off last week? / what shall we call today’s fish head / look at Fred West’s rubescent cheeks / killed by Gwar / the electric priest / legends in the heatwave / coco beats reminded me I was a long way from home / I climbed over the fence and showed my neighbour my new teeth/ children were disturbed by the heavily-farded countenance of the school mistress / duck saliva is a good cure for nephew rash / I requested golden onions, but you bought me silver ones / my balls are delicious, woman /
baby-man in the mud / selfish pipes /you can’t take your eyes off the flying lizard / my space-suited baby / abandoned Tuesdays
trog at my nan’s house / pulling on the hair of the new student / witch slap / edacious orphans should be locked in cages!!
I atoned for my mistakes by phoning up the Sugar Baby and telling him how bloody lovely he was / my girlfriend became obsessed with the idea of making little tiny suit jackets for coconuts to wear / Bear Claw 2000 (recusant teen on last bus)
if only the internet had been round in 2001 / shake off the Jack Scum / I received a dainty hoss at 4.15am
we knew it was Luis from the thyroid eyes which he had on his face / Oaf and the Duchess of Sanyo / we wipe out the rockers
river runs with blood and spunk / he shook off his corduroy slippers and thanked the gathered crowd for their generosity
Bridget’s magniloquent boobs / people that are stupid usually enjoy playing computer games / my new moustache (look at it)
I found the village whore weeping in the village hall (& I noticed she was clutching a smashed tennis ball) / Bobby Sanyo and the Forgotten Orchestra / damp trousers in the sand/new home for teeth / bland animals /
I strongly advise you not to kiss the trophy before the competition commences / smashed rulers (this knobless century)
she had her teeth removed to stop herself chewing her finger nails / I emailed Binky before supper
the twitching foreman / lentigo-covered super models infesting the catwalk / tight lips and school house trips / the bogey war
my sister takes great pride in her collection of used Elizabethan shampoo bottles / father christened him the ‘Dundee Cake Baby’
I greatly admired the beat poets, but I wished they would get dressed! / gin and tea cakes is a special treat for the grandchildren
my great grandfather kept a note book detailing every fil de joie he went with during the Boer War / zebra of war
background Latvian (plus background Czech) / punk’s breath / I used to love to play with my grandma’s plastic moustache
clay man missed the boat / filthy clergy /my furry vizard / itchy memories / pre-modern sexual positions / Antelope, king of jazz
my earliest memory is being rocked back and forth by an ex-wrestler / terrarium beauties / post-war come-down
post-fight come-down / Stallone is sucking drugs / Kangaroo steam / frozen for the future. / coach house blues
we move in adagio fashion through streets of Bedfordshire / admiring the death-blues / Christmas tits / Christian tits
Bolivian hand massage centre (Wolfroy cassette playing in background) / chubby fuehrer is erupting bastard / peanut jazz
age of enlightenment was a grand disappointment / we moved towards the attractive gals pell mell / dead men tell the best tales
ancient steam engines of Mars / effortless death / we covered the spare room walls in cardiopulmonary-related diagrams
Dutch Chicken Orchestra (this came to me in a hairy circus dream) / he fried ‘imself up for the hungry kids / German removals
rubescent faces of fuddled Russian reminded me of my favourite uncle / they spoilt a perfectly good war by introducing computers / …when we were exotic / I tend to concentrate better when I have my orange baseball cap on / toaster boy
the wobbly bottom lip of last citizen of Salt Cake City
osseous fingers all over my body / Egyptian blisters / astronauts with blisters on their finger tips / sack of jazz / cardboard horse / I found my long-lost sister sitting alone in a derelict cottage in the woods /
killer’s fingernails / who wants to sip on calid milk? /I found a small photo of Chairman Mao in the pocket of my wife’s anorak / bespoke crow skin gloves / I swapped my ‘Fist of the North Star’ VHS for a copy of ‘The Rough Guide to Leaving Your Lover’ / sexual itch /
I left my collection of Jandek cassettes on the back seat of Dusty Hoffman’s Toyota
we drove stakes into the happiest of couples in a fit of jealous pique / gurning children on the bottom of the ocean
go to bed, sea creature / egalitarism does not exist where we live / dead miscreant still troubles the Ga Ga family / blue gravy
it was futile to attempt to mop the child’s brow with Hulk Hogan’s sweaty vest / Pants off for 80s singer songwriter
everything he does to seemingly help the old folks is actually done mala fide / pert undercarriage / we sanguified the salad to make it more palatable for the cannibal / my girl is on the pomace again / fat men wearing check-shirts / days out with Zod
the high from LRP is not as good / lemonade swan song for my blistered feet / the cute mouse that I keep locked in a box
fat sweaty fingers all over my wife’s bum / I coated your bum hole in creesh from last night’s roast dinner
I spent over a third of my adult life attempting to write a sequel to ‘The Curse of Gopnik’ / second-hand moustache
it’s dinner time and Monty is still in his work clothes / duet with Death / sex positions in American camp erotica
The Cassette Gandhi / demystifying embarrassing parents from 81-84 (86 90) / dumb and blind acolyte
Chicken Heart Joseph / the day the man removed his head in public (Christ is a bit too fussy)
Prince Percy- the human flamingo / spearmint echo / getting naked and famous in Toad Hall / limp-wristed rejects / …take care, Aunty X / cave men couldn’t draw for shit / I closed my eyes and thought about the nude girl /
I spend a lot of my time surrounded by buck-toothed super models / dipped my dirty thumb in the gravy
creeping around the pool hall looking for dropped black balls / I got dust in my false beard
everyone wants to growl at the sunshine / cats thrown out of eerie chambers / gay wotsit / jazz moustache
Balancing children of the Queen on top of your head (to amuse the arm wrestlers) / I prefer Caledonian witches
the glabrous surface of the octogenarians head had a calming influence on the angry teens / crackers and chromosomes / who wants to spend half their natural life staring at the moon? / the selfish harvest
memories of bicycle ride with Keith, Menadue and God Rockstone / reciting primate poetry to the baad girls from ‘back home’ / common deaf psychology / we try to make every lunch break an opportunity for love wealth comes to the dead quickly and surely / reciting the pink poetry verbatim (to an audience of vegans) / cruising around the cemetery looking for dog ends / a map to help you find the wax effigy of Jonathan Walnut (not Paul S) /
I don’t wanna bleep; but it goes off every time we meet/ on a rocky planet, I gotta get a handjob from Janet
Siamese twin with a massive hangover / hung-over on the dead beat belly people train
Whistling at the sexy mountain goats, I gotta keep my scarf round my throat / blind man went missing in the night
it must be lovely to be the only queen in the Rolling Stones / stentor on the bullet bullet train
it must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and realise you are in The Rolling Stones / banker’s rupture
come rise with Elton John and Bessie West / perfumed dead folks / the man who molested honey bears
I feel compelled to sketch Young Dylan in the middle of the night / sweet crepuscule tingles / swollen goat
paltry recompense for the death of a good sailor boy / beautiful lynch mob / sex with Bessie / memory waltz waltzing with men whilst I pretend to like Jung Fu / catchment area of killers of animal fuzzy animals
we laid a trap and sat back and waited (with our fingers up our asses) / the day my boyfriend got a haircut
imagine the mental level of someone who watches wrestling / one-legged cetologist / gummy children in Norfolk
Ozzy Osbourne was replaced by a lady called Mary who wore long flowery skirts and had a massive mole on the end of her snout / my dad is the lead singer of ‘Hawkwind’ / veteran drug addicts spinning Hawkwind record and reminiscing about various orgies they indulged in the 1960s (crawl) / I rang up to ask your dad if I could fill his show room with beautiful ex-girlfriends of King Patrick / the inevitable corrigendum included the word ‘nutsack’
I spent several hours listening to Dandelion Ruth cassettes and smoking Azerbaijani hashish with the older brother of signer Kevin Rowlands (I’m sorry; I can’t remember his brother’s name) / Hollywood bowl cut
Pablo’s idea of beauty was very different to my own (I am not English) / stolen dream of ganja-smoking teen
the thing that defines me is not my Beatles haircut you know / is a walrus a fish? / golden bowl cut
his hairstyle reflects how he feels about the impending ‘War of the Damned’ / leather-clad men called Trevor/playground bones / playgroup jazz/knocked Orff Fabio’s hat and then ran away / childish stubble /
I am surrounded by men called John / we introduced the game of bingo to the newly-discovered tribe / tribal fart
I keep Dracula’s teeth in a small golden bowl / the place where God froze his nuts off
Trevor McDonald is beautiful / birling ten year old girls in South African shopping mall
why do men with three eyes always seem to take a myopic view of contemporary politics? / damaged beards
I only eat meat for pleasure / I wore my mum’s ear rings to the village fete / 15th century hired surprise
time to shave off that beard and reintegrate into society, father / Seric gents eating fish stew with their fingers
strolling around with the dead man / Caribbean cassette shops / fat men wearing ties / kiss the ground Beavis
‘thank god I’m an atheist’ / Caribbean atheist / William’s fingers have fallen off slowly / I wonder how Christ smelt?
one conclusion I came to after watching ‘Life without Meaning’; life has multitude of meanings (the tea party echo)
why not cut off your father’s tie, girlfriend, why not? / amusing malfeasance in drab school canteen / ginger wrist
World War 3 was a massive let-down / waiting patiently for the advent of World War 3(with the stuffed-doll man)
Mars was a big disappointment / ‘bark’ remarked the small pooch as we took away his favourite bone / baby’s stubble
a reformation of sorts before the eyes of Greaser (SM no techno at Greaser’s Palace) / neighbourhood bastard
Australian fingertips / relinquish your grip on the Honey Monster / stubble on a small child always makes me chuckle
the infant was carrying a small bag adorned with a skull ‘n’ crossbones motif / jazz in the afternoon whilst smoking good stuff
Is Paul Simon now using the firehose? / baby shouldn’t have tried to climb that huge mountain on his own / beyond the haircut
it’s your choice.. an orgy with a bunch of supermodels or a trip to the African spice museum / this zombie knows what he wants!
did Zola Budd have hairy feets? / Lassie’s ball bag / I gave my only copy of ‘Disraeli Gears’ to the crippled fat woman
I pressed that little flower you gave me into the back of my bible and then handed the bible to a small African princess who lives above my dad’s Korean bodega / leave your job as an ambassador for the Bolivian people and come and be my thumb assistant
put your hands on my whisky bottle and I will surely destroy you / the day I moved in with cats / jazz cackle
he was too kinky even for France / I never met a dog I wanted to stroke / took ‘round the back by Mr Shifty / grown men who carry dolls in their briefcases/who put Paul Simon in charge of the fire hose? / giving away ‘Fire Hose’ cassettes to children aged between 15 and 21 / come rise with Elton / I filed down my teeth before taking a bite from the decaying puffin / ageing gents with fish stew remnants in their beards / hair and moustache / whacking down e's on the happy bus / I took out my black handkerchief and wiped the blood from the sook’s forehead / they day the octopus became the big brother (French grin) / slime –French grin (persistent cough)/ordinary portions / blind man at the buffet (CAN) /
I gotta get my head together before I meet The Crimson Priest / very time I eat a cube of sugar, I tend to get randy
ace zip scald (photo-shop heave) / dead astronaut floating in a pool of lighter fluid / Chinese humour leaves me cold
he considered himself the ‘King of Cling Film (in German only)’ / I spent my morning smoking dope with the sexy GI’s
cold whisky leaves me feeling bad / bad Deborah (jazz reggae flowers of summer) / I drowned in a little bit of whisky
I inherited Billy Preston’s capacious drinking vessel and filled it with fresh milk from my jersey milk cow / Scat Man’s dream
a butcher’s love for his animals / defeated meat / the loneliness of the ugly bachelor / the millennium worm
why does that horse-headed man keep coming to our house and staring through the kitchen window?
jazz scat very cold hand Keith Richard Hell / and then he ran his fingers across Malcolm’s feminine eyelashes / venereal footage
steaming grease always reminds me of my year in Hell’s Kitchen (QL) / plastic bastards / I pour gravy all over my droxy
we keep Zola’s fake finger nails in a small plastic box / Shoo-in in the bath tub / a brush with life / chicken wife
top ten pernicious acts of bad people from USA
I don’t want to fall in love with the village worm / recalling the perfumed voice of Harold Sea
the man who had more teeth than good ideas / I would never presume to actually be the King of the Gods / jazz rash
here we go Channel 04 dynamite finger nails covered in gentleman’s ordure
my favourite aphorism uttered by the King of Tramps was ‘I do not need a castle to be a king (for I am King of Tramps)’.
why keep Shola in a show box, Big Gregory? / who still loves having sticky fingers in the morning?
we tried vehemently to deny the existence of God, but it was no use.. / lacerated heads of the All-New King Babies
we cannot deny the love we feel for the scummy bachelors / we offered him steak but what he really wanted was hamburger
they airbrushed out the baby’s more offensive features (i.e. his bristly moustache) / a butcher’s love for his animals
‘Holy Ghost serves a writ / sports day in slippers / nauseating crime-wave / Danish prevaricator
handing out little pills (those little pills) to underground babies / these underground moustaches / I actually was naked at the mike I spent over 10 hours making love to the Jazz Festival volunteer / genteel foot soldier / bland fingernails of Western women
diamond crust (economical eyeball)/ absonant girlfriends in the school of Volunteerism
life on the hot line (queer pace) / we force-fed fishmeal to the starving soldiers / volunteer’s eyeballs / lip-synching to ‘God Save the God-Damn Queen’ /
sitting in a smoking room with Oxlade Mayer/ muppet haircut / I gotta go and find the Cash Cat (money for pussy)
The Guerrilla Press / amazing drugs, Norman
Blue Karen took a small amount of poison and then waited for the kids to arrive / turned on by eternity
waiting for the walrus to come back with your slippers / Chinese people have stringy moustaches / customer’s gravy
growing old surrounded by the young ‘uns./ the priest who was unable to summon up the energy to flog himself in the morning
I boarded the Mexican bus to find it was full of corpses who had somehow escaped their coffins / taught to be boring
is it true that your son had a tiny role in ‘Hoppy Serves a Writ’ / mashed up on a Tuesday afternoon / deleted seamstress
…and the following day the devil himself stopped by to advise us not to go to church this Sunday
we live in a world the devil, if unable to tempt a saint with a pretty girl, will fly him to a disco
inside the mind of the last great poet to survive on Demon’s Inch / A man smokes cigarettes whilst petting a dead donkey two. (Waiting around for blind elephants to arrive) / Scene 06 – a man is crushed by the weight of expectation
Character ‘A’ is portrayed by an actor dressed in a way that he would be recognized as Jesus.
Scene 5 – a man tries to avoid onrushing cyclists whilst composing a symphony on his electric keyboard
Glorious re-entry / Dirty but Perfumed helicopter / Chinese chin-stroker / exulted mobile porno star / death on Assumption day
dead before advent of peace / dead before peace time / buffalo shuffle (do the) / hot Russell / African whiplash
the glabrous surface of the dolly bird’s face / EF lonely gonad / keep climbing down the perpetual staircase
smoking good shit with a Dutch rabbi (are we all walking backwards for a reason?) / talking backwards on the phone to mum
I cheered myself up by looking at the photo of a monkey in a jumper playing chess / watching a video of my first break dance
I am pleased that Japanese boss is stopping me from speaking English / silence in the ‘moon’ / crap musing v - car kid index
looking out the window at opulent palace filled with gay dancers / androgynous people sitting in cafes in France or somewhere
they roped off the area where we painted the corpse / my dad was Egg Man / lost girls called ‘Florence
Does this sound familiar to you, Dustin? / gay men dressed to look more heterosexual / piano bones/ I kissed my wife and it felt wrong /
the devil tempts a saint by taking the form of a beautiful woman; the saint is duly tempted and ends u patronising jazz clubs and smoking Gitanes / I wouldn’t expect anyone to make friends with the man with no eyelids / butler’s handjobs / life of an eyelid / too many idiots on the moon / I have always preferred Gregory Peck with a moustache / gentleman’s libido
.. in this scene the astronaut shits himself whilst trying to fix the spaceship computer system / fruit warzone
vision of Baby Wolf / E-Bay Baby / give me some sheep skin / the drummer lost his mind during solo / massive dad
I found my son’s seditious poems and immediately read them aloud in the public square / beards open the chess board leer
doomed to some kind of half-hearted success / the obeisance was unwarranted but made me feel good on a superficial level
I quit eating meat in the daytime / I could not stop farting during his drum solo / energetic ghost / F Mercury was right all along
Daddy Bloodsport immediately turned his eyes away from the cute bunny / guvnor’s thump / postcards from Hades
faces in the mauve frames / he threw his silver medal in the river and went out for donuts / sons of Thriller / the butler was dishing out handjobs to the rest of the staff / hands off my armpits (they are really sweaty) / governor’s ‘look’
I picked my nose on last time on the way home / we spent most of Tuesday dancing in our bedroom to ‘Thriller 2’
toenail post cards / I dream of seeing chimpanzees in petticoats / all the floating dead animals / damp fruit (bubbles)
the devil in part 4 / I noticed that his filibuster speech included a repeated occurrence of the words ‘storm drain’
bidding vale to the freshly-crowned teens / a friend of men called Norman, Jack and Trevor / Tory Story 3
my best cully will be dead by the age of 100 / wagon rash / gollywog breakfast / fantastic fake meat
we excused him by claiming he was but a scion of this awfully violent society that we are a part of / modern bondage
I just found your missing boyfriend in a skip in Norwich (where the hell is Norwich
Unsuitable thumbnails for a jazz musician / rethinking the torture regime over a pot of tea
I appreciate that you’re trying to kill yourself, but I really do need my rifle back / Japanese pipes (soup museum)
we love the losers much more than the champions / get your filthy hands off my anorak / my new boyfriend has a cinematic chin
I ended up surrounded by Spanish people called Keith / record chare (duped dude) / stupid Tuesday / the doomsday whistle
a semi-accurate account of the last fist fight of the night / zombies have rather bad breath / Mr Piss is reading my mind
my kid sister had an extremely inimical reaction to the arrival of the circus (she abhors clowns, jugglers and men with waxed moustaches) / a once-glorious man is walking around Tesco in a piss-stained anorak / lost in France or somewhere like that
I spilt gravy all down my best anorak / impressed by acuity of mind of octogenarian ex-infantryman / filth-strewn memories
it’s a shame about Mr Smarkle / butcher’s look / nostrils on a goat / Swedish killers are not as rare as you might think
I played my tape of Swedish rockabilly outfit ‘The Killers' to my old grandpa..he kinda liked it
dusty jacket wearing scholars make me happy / ten min. hand gesture / scolded by lover / there are rectangles on the moon
Minuscule children who like to take rides clinging onto the tusks of woolly mammoths / upset by young lad’s aggressive spruik
it is so sad to spend your life working in an office / go get a light indigo fever eruption / I’ll never get bored of Prince
the smell of the fairground makes me happy / minuscule kids who live inside the trunks of prehistoric elephants
the drugged gentlemen insisted they were astronauts who had recently visited a previously unknown planet called ‘Trunk’
keep away from the bobby soxers, son..they’re trouble / infant request jazz library / ancient fist / Egyptian fragrance
why not wrap your arms around the vampire / perspicuous stories from the outer reaches of what was ‘space’ (but is now filled)
I only wear eye make up when the kids have gone to bed (fruit bubbles re-energised the orphan drummers) / jazz breast
Ecstatic flesh / I want you to get down on your knees and lick the strawberry ice cream off my toe nails / skunk nod
The insipid blandiloquence of hoary school master / beaten up by perfumed boys/ ononism makes teen feel low down
Japanese women always have nicely manicured finger nails / boredom in far reaches of the school halls
I got my photo taken with Hans the German chimpanzee / championship chimps / man called Terror
‘that gesture, it will haunt me’ whimpered the spoilt kid / girls on the moon / upset by exposure to prehistoric elephant trunks
sometimes you just have to stand on your own and shout at the wall / is x x x the forgotten movie footage?
shout out something along the liens of..'today is Tuesday, I want to be alone and free’ / P-p-p-punk rocker’s life as a walnut
new musical called 'Gay Janitor goes to Brighton ’ / the glee on his face when clandestinely selling daddy’s dope / chubby bones
we decided not to outlaw demonolatry for the time being / outlawed crows / we slapped the gorilla / ape parade / ageist parade who made you the moral arbiter for Team Sunday? / too skinny kings/authentic gorilla / authenticating the veracity of my son’s birth certificate / for my school project I recited the entire script of ‘Julien Donkey Boy’ / my biggest regret is not asking out ‘Petula Jones’ / the beautiful traffic cop (BLP) / BNP fashion sense / I have a thing for mingers / golden box contained the following:- ‘plastic finger nails x 10 + dead fish (preserved in wax) / defunct troll / homophobic maps /
the only thing crying into your beer will do is water it down, son / the smell of the fairground reminds me of my ex-boyfriend
that gap in your memory can be filled with footage of unicorns and tarts in leggings / bastard's wish list / eyes like candy drops
sensate beasts being awoken by drum ‘n’ bass from passing Vauxhall Nova / carcass of a drum ‘n’ bass DJ
my mother’s rodeo eye / big men eating cucumbers on the train / I coated my face and fingers in butter and waited for my boyfriend to arrive / my hair is short but I’m still the BJ Hippy Kid / I filled my flask with pineapple juice and headed off for the beach ./ I always ride my bike backwards these days / I coated my hair with gee and went outside for the first time in 3 days / I cuddled the corpse till it broke / secret horse / chat to me , I am a gay/one of the astronauts left a half-eaten peach on Mars / crispy men on the moon / a gorilla will make and play a drum kit if you leave him alone long enough /
we live inside and with xmas demon / the world’s first fictional depiction of memory cakes /kicked out of Stan’s bedroom /blank space – modern world (?) / snaking into the kitchen at 3am / he conducted the orchestra with crippled hands / crack open a new bottle, sweet Tony /
Gorgeous George vs the eyeball thief / Matchstick Adams and the cry baby
Aggressive Monday (I wiped my dick on the back of the curtain and combed my hair with the dead man’s best comb)
I don’t live on Earth no more Jackie / dead sun (hello to the wadi dwellers) / we froze our memories of the good bird
caged Care Bears / I slowly removed my tongue from the frozen countenance of the Ice Monkey / tin can baby / the Marvellous Melting Monkey (don’t worry boys, he will be fine) /
I rested my chin on the rotting buffalo carcass / the children of Chile
dip your yellow fingers into the reunification bucket / I presented Queen Bitch with a framed photo of herself
you can’t wake me up by saying ‘wake up’ in a sussurant voice, Bile Sucker / gap memory year / goosed by the fat infant
I learned most everything i need to ever know on the set of ‘Death Serves a Writ (PMU) / cowboy at the Jazz Festival
there are only two types of people who really enjoy karaoke; slappers and the Japanese / Japanese slapper / dumb Terminator at the spit reel / hold on to my little pathetic fist /(and worry yourself to sleep) / I am willing to let you have 408 Japanese VHS recorders (which I cannot shift) for a bite of that Sunday Pie / I thought Julien Doneky Boy might try and smile occasionally /
I fell in love with with red head singer from ‘Major Bowes Amateur Hour’ / crocked champ / bitten by the cutest critter of ‘em all
I bought a bag of nails from the man with the sour face who sits in the pub and moans about things / timeless moustache
oleaginous substance dripping all over my PC / fire legs /Laura Logic set the earth on fire with SS / original rot
iconphile collects pictures of rotting banana skins etc. / secundum Arab Strap lead singer everyone secretly loathes sex
I met my new doxy at the German antique market / hand out dogs to passing gitano / Cindy was my brother
Foreign salads make me sick / I love Japanese girls but I hate Japan
walking around the castle wearing cardboard slippers / trading mice for tigers / foreign finger nails look better
forged moustache / 15th cent. Indian sweet collections / don’t forget to dip your fingers in the chilli sauce /black man’s cat Hubert’s spooky nostrils / the D Lion timer / amnesia made me remember to forgot my identity (tomorrow’s television)
zoos full of dead animals and living dreams / heavy droop poet / £100 crush / naked robots / sleeping outside of the box Tumbler’s army / sex sex sex / why did you put your veg in the bath tub? / imaginary Hebrew / voodoo shoes / copying the fashion sense of a UKIP member / take out your teeth and suck a hard boiled egg /
Christian tub-thumpers sinking into Monday’s mud / edition 6 was a bunch of crap / glimmering Hebrew
fishman was dishing out blowjobs to the new arrivals / tea time wank / grandma’s fangs / I was disturbed by his rubber fingers
Post-modernism and what it meant to the dying fishmonger / killed (and relieved) by Jesus II /sir, I have reason to believe your beard is a forgery / I forged my sister’s birth certificate and lived to regret it / fat steps home / the journey of the fat bugger and his skeletal dog / my tank top got muddy and, subsequently, I got punished by my mother / HMV HIV /
why do alien beings never have beards? / beards are so out-of-date, Hannah / cured by love, sweat and blood oranges
I left my dream and re-entered reality and quickly realised that I was not wearing any trousers or underwear
jealous of king’s slender nose / the teenager was completely naked apart from his gas mask / girls with THAT look on their face new boy fingers (tank hat and trouble (a) / trying to copy a teenager’s hair style / her hair smells of drum patterns
don’t slap the devil / combed hair reminds me of childhood/ Zoid eventually came to say hello / trying to get high in the ground
tell the story abovo (don’t skip the introduction by ‘Duck Ramsey’) / devil in Brighton UK
3000 year old drug addict if you know what they mean / we disregarded Vic’s suggestion for today’s special vegetable
I said ‘welcome to Bum Town ’ when I meant to say ‘welcome to Booker Village
Freaks Sunday Freaky Sunday presents ‘how to love your dead girlfriend’ / gay in the posada (dancing in a suggestive fashion)
Escaping from verism / boxcar for junior / Doc Honky’s seven rules of summer / bring your purulent chops here, teenager
we tried in vain to convince Gordon that sunshine was not a miracle / I stopped signing ‘What is a dog?’ many yrs ago
trying to recollect what life was like before the invention of paradise / Nigel needs a face lift, mamma
my girlfriend sued to make wigs for moomins (to enable them to integrate into society more easily)
reciting Victorian suicide bomber memoirs to the new kids / junk tripe – trappings of shallow fame
Jocko’s bite (do not forget this..write it in your pocket book) / it is probably time for Mamma Cassette to retire
the bearded librarian was fidgeting on the last bus home (it transpired that the digesting was due to him trying to fix a broken zip on his jacket pocket / the dog rockets of the 80s / plastic smile of TV host made me cringe / life’s her ray
men with beards walking past clean-shaven goblins and thinking that maybe they should have shave when they get home
village of the permanently impressed 20-somethings / doomed haircut / little Russian children trying to be less Russian
modern boredom permeates every corner of society / the doomed traffic and the caramel atlas / Childish Sunday
drug the memory / a feebel-minded werewolf sitting with his hairy legs all folded up / jazz dandruff
trying to avoid eye contact with boys who call themselves girls / filthy leftovers / rock is filthy
went to get a burger with big slag / hairy cream slag jaws (slag) / policeman’s claw / bummed bandit
brave youg men encouraging girls to leave their partners (by making odd mating calls) / nergy peoep
whore’s hot breath tunred me on /death from piledriver / hairy leisure / turbid cheeks of dead models
avaricsm tramps have hard time / whippet funk / funky death / ‘who is your favouriote cartoon pirate?’
‘middle class death’ is obligatto / consumed by death / moving forever forward for a taste of a king’s lips
lickerish Count coming on to my sister / I have my own thoughts on why Jesus left us / whore’s clammy fingers
yes i know this was mentioned in (insert date here) / but i didn't want to repeat myself (J)
the cowboy looked rather lsot wandering around the inuagral jazz festival / drunk aty the birth rites recital
vanishing imps of Lincolnshire
Just keep following something which (L). / permanent claws / adjunct lover (breath of onion)/music hall stunners/ I stroked my beard and cotnempated the seafood menu /
the history of pea eating / onion history (year end anxiety hotline) / hot fossil / faceless fat people
he read aloud my disquistion on the problem of modern manners (or lack of) at meal times
Gorilla wearing no make-up looked more human / kids for biscuits / let’s make love and pretend we like each other
trying to slip out the back door of the church with the blood you got from internet millionaire / keep an eye on the prodigal son
jealous of the prince’s beautiful little teeth / are teeth still made of milk? / damn your Hebrew eyelids / slippery when sanguine
the flesh-eating SOBs / I recall Billy Preston telling me which way it was to the Thumb Sucking Theatre / timeless wolf
Karl Marx always wanted to be an alcoholic / homomorphic pals actually did turn out to be brothers / dead eyes of LV
I celebrate nativity of Muse’s daughter (yeah) / it’s not a good idea to fall in love with the enemy / Hollywood shitty bag
mashing with your mum’s daughter. / smiling at those dead people who are on permanent display / naked before bed time!
it’s just you and the hip hop community keeping the memory of Benny Hill alive / thought patterns of the dead
the lady who fell in love with the man who flashed at her in Central Park / lonesome death of werewolf
it took me a long time to eradicate the memories of Friends’ Death / jazz oyster / livin’ with the bitch
story from mouth of muppet no. 01- skinny priest (priest sticks his hat to his head with sticky tape) / damp knee caps of troll
Mellifluous music made your penis mushy(mashy) / video is of devil / spank the traffic (foreign troll) / huge foreigner
motorway blindness / he stubbed out his cigar on the porn stars ass cheek / superman on the furry motorway / storm drain baby babies of storm warning / I usually only date supermodels in the morning s(when they look more like normal women)
don’t say everything is material (RP - VDU Voluntary Death Office) / king for 15 hours / there ain’t no toilet paper in Russia
Michael Jackson became addicted to fish paste / snow-coated sunbathers / Egyptian candy floss (yes, I am 6ft 8). / I just bought a stuffed owl from E Bay which was once owned by a guy who used to know a man whose father worked in a greasy spoon cafeteria which Elvis Presley once walked past (perhaps) / Ernest Hemmingway’s beard is making me itch / confused gorilla itchy body bag (body sack) / chubby children sitting around eating candies instead of playing sports / itchy breath
his breath smelt like a pet shop / sideburns like rashers / his breath smelt like a swimming pool / created by death
stubbed your toe at end-of-year party / celestial 80s (head like a wrecking ball) / the 80s made me feel itchy / roof-top slut
we decided to welcome in Rocky Fortune anyways / WW3 babies / you should obviate bad boy from coming round
tell me what part I should play, sweet lord / cynosure mime artists make me feel bleak (pop slut) / 90 quid dream
the harsh aquiline features of Miss Coro made me feel uneasy / marshland pit stop (rain beans)
I spoke in great detail bout my past life as a rain-maker / temporary death (permanent death) / don’t kill the edaphic-dwellers
the broom cupboard was full of ‘Sparklehorse’ cassettes and ancient manuscripts / Madame Claude and the brand-new bulldogs
we decided to eat the Anthony and leave the bigger ones for the kids that were the hungriest / efficient hang men
grown up apes forcing their way into the White House / buffalo chips or daughters or sons / graveyard smashers
Tremendous face of massive murderer / I shave doff my fluffy eyebrows to make myself more attractive to the Columbian birds
even the use of a megaphone didn’t make him audible over the din of the drum and the bass / I live for my fat stomach
the day most people’s heads fell off / alight like Mr Fire / I allowed Christ to kiss my blisters / perfume on a prostitute
I turned down the Indian butcher because I am a vegan. / Scarlett Ian and the rare scarecrows / honorary moustache
I actually managed to sell a dead horse (to a French chef) / we deleted the factory / there are small monkeys on my TV set
adipose bachelor sitting on an unctuous couch eating piazzas and watching poor quality TV / king of the night before
alive before breakfast / dead and alive fashions of 1988-89 / we gave out pizza to the corpses / little disturber
talking to a ghost on the ol’ Ameche / I blew out the nostrils of carefully-constructed GW (new terminology used)
a rencounter with your abandoned dog / fashionable haircuts are démodé on this planet, Charles / Rubber ghost
we laid down some plastic sheets and proceeded to saw off the old man’s legs / ghost catcher 2000 / politically correct gorilla
I woke up covered in fat man’s sweat / more grub for fat bugger / I inserted a sausage in the sand as a marker / fake F mouse
grown-up apes never use microphones / it was all achieved by using fake fingers and an elaborate system of mirrors
the unimaginably bad smell of fetid corpse (no, don’t try to imagine it..it’s futile) / altogether in toe rag gang (again I thank god)
feminist on the corner / I met Miles Davis and the first thing that came in to my head to ask him was..'what is god?’/we abandoned our fashionable haircuts and went off to work in the factory / civilian in plastic coating (plastic fur)/
The Broken Joseph Show (inside another man’s bible) / Oh Ria you have gone (ginger beard fear) / fear of ginger hair
I am big fan of wool gangster shirts / the night before the sexiest harvest of the year (the year) / onion coveralls
I placed my treasured back issued of ‘Bubble and Squeak’ in the care of Mrs Door / a wank before breakfast / modern bulldogs /
the thoughts and ideas of Wired Richards (when wired) / bitch senior / down the gym with a hard on/ the sook was mesmerised by the talking chimpanzee (off the TV) / fondled by Daddy Phillip’s pink and chubby fingers / space-age rag / tiny helicopters flying around the sitting room / Training a chimp to talk (backwards) / I glanced over my shoulder and noticed that the Croesus was now wearing a golden fleece/ the cat who skinned himself to save time / knuckle posh knuckles./my dog sniffed out the emu and we took his eggs and feathers / I am back..this time to kill your son-in-law / mincing around the graveyard / forgotten 30s / he draped his silk cloak over the bachelor’s bleeding fingers so as not to disturb the passing school children / dear butcher, please don’t cut off my hair / I tried on the crown of thrones at lunch time / wet my trousers again last night / chin wagon / wagging my chin provocatively in the teenage disco / wet rot disco floor / grinning at space aliens / chatting to a pansy on the disco dance floor / the pansy tried to convince me to swap my ‘Kid Rock’ t shirt for a ‘Buncey and the Sail Boat Men’ t shirt..i refused flatly /
he got through a whole pack of ‘Senior Service’ whilst contemplating the nudists / Ethiopian Wednesdays
‘Wire’ are my 18th favourite group (sandwiched between ‘Glass Otter’ and ‘Ship Finger’) / limp-wristed kings (not queens)
Tubby children should be kept away from the cookie jar and introduced to the fruit basket / arbiters of new factory planet
I believe illegal immigrants should be able to eat as much fresh fruit as they like / locked-out syndrome / now I am TV schmuck
I put my viands on the table and allowed the hog to gormandise every last one of them (OHWG –GFP) / The Famicom Owl
I sketched a picture of your ex-girlfriend for you, dad / don’t tell my wife that I keep my toes in grow-bags / energetic goblin
My 3 1/2 week old baby gave the artist all of his original ideas / babies in the grow bags / I am a beautiful monster
amor fati was applied to enable the furry children to come to terms with their unfortunate situation / Gandhi’s minder
Grinderman in flip flops / here comes old oyster breath / I am addicted to feeling joyous / movie stars are, on average, trigamous
we sat down and felt happy at the though of the beautiful Paul Robeson / is a faggot a cake? / Arab cake / cured by sunshine
the day I chewed on some poisoned candy for a bet / a better life with Queen Elizabeth / a 2 year old child asking ‘what is god?’
footage of billy club-totting babies made me feel uneasy / village trog (sitting on my back seat) / Baby Soldado at X Festival
from now on every child over the age of six will be forced to chew a predetermined brand of gum ‘Mr Chewy’ / we entertained the Borstal kids by showing them recently filmed footage of a goblin on a bike / footage of a skeleton eating pies /
I knew I should not have changed my name to ‘Mr Chewy’ / most days I choose to help Roy Small cross the busy street
what do you say when your firstborn asks you ‘who is god?’ / mercurial sports men having a day off / my first passenger of the day was nervously fingering his crumpled ruck sack / I immediately regretted shaving off my sister’s beard / French padre Saint Basie is circling around my family in a fairly sinister fashion / I sat twitching in the midnight sun / dentate spectre
Search:- was god a robot? / I prefer the company of dogs / quilted undergarments make me feel easy / do dreams smell?
human bones lying around in abandoned ships / the man with a fag in his mouth is slowly floating away from the stage
took my lady to the meat theatre / he lives for that zombie / dusty face of library dweller / stinking breath of canal dweller
the emperor insisted that we placed a paper bag (preferably brown) over all of the ugly baby’s heads / Columbian vamps
don’t deny anything until you have thoroughly studied all of the available evidence / tight pockets of teen / pancake batteries
I use most of the same methods that Jesus used / garnished with blood / sanguine garnish / festival of future / rural moustache
we are the monteurs of the universe / the ape sat surprisingly still while we painted him / 10 x the fun if you strip naked
The Queen had a bogey hanging out of her left nostril / we proffered a posit to the square head and hiss ass. / I cry at babies
the boundaries between good and evil are so blurred these days that many people actually idolise Old Scratch himself
where did all the Children of Rancid go? / you need to stop drawing x’s on your hand, dad / sheep forecast / magic shame
‘Bug a Boo’ is my 71st favourite ‘Destiny’s Child’ song / kicking against the pricks is still the thing to do/ you can tell he is my son..look at his rotten gums / I give my baby son sweets, tobacco and fried goods /
where did you hear all that mother jazz? / children will simply not eat grapefruit / caged androids (CW?) / pink fluffy lover
dolphins can be quite nasty actually / CSNY tapes floating above the abandoned graveyards /life.. it’s better with snake charmer
handing out Poseidon candy to the orphans / timeless curly haired orphans (in Buckingham Palace
I swapped a ‘Meat Puppets’ cassette for a ‘Veg Doll’ CD / off the bone love making (18-19)
The secret clinic (girls out of love with their boyfriends) / Buckingham boys club / sober dolphins / kids are scared of his muddled countenance/ flesh dropping off the gods /
agraphia sufferers learning to talk over the phone correctly / yes to sex / my 30s make-over
Dandelion and burdock for me and half a pint of Geese milk for my hostage. Please. / disturbed by man who can talk backwards
the American wrestler’s suicide attempt was averted by the promise of free leopard print bandanas and a night alone with the hunk by my side / forever damaged by singing nun / crunchy Christmas / men underneath other men’s sisters
the fast-food enthusiast kept a notebook which detailed every restaurant he visited; the top-rated according to him was ‘Big Jack’s sloppy ribs’. / half-eaten car park attendant / a light dusting of dandruff on the albino’s shirt collar
I spent several minutes discussing the future of reality TV with the King of Hong Kong
Victorian men were often ashamed of being in touch with their feminine side / the Jazz Kinder (Half-formulated niceties)
the future changes and then we are forced to re-write history / seven bearded babies / triumphant hand gestures of the Americans
rancid dolphins (not all dolphins are friendly and nice) / Sugar-coated tonsils Trumpet Drug drum solo / fear of scenery
the sobbing drummer / hard on on shuttle bus / fear of fake scenery / I met you on the last boat to freedom /morning is mythical
the Pinteresque Christmas Day family gathering / listening to light metal in-between meals / radio-friendly death metal
stuck in space with a fat girl / my ass hole is not needed ‘round these parts / cucumber sticking out of a corpse’s mouth
golden teeth belonging to teenager / triumph in the graveyard / swollen triangle / sexy at Xmas / bucolic graveyard
chronic songbook / even more gay than leather-clad wolf / stop-gap handjob / big honey lap cat / golden death
death in Croydon / baby robots squirming in the sun / the day we danced all morning / foreign nosejob / the man with 2 gobs Perry Gland spent over 10 mins explicating his reasons for shaving off his moustaches / gink in the White House
Eric Clapton was found washed up on the beach, covered in seaweed and old beer cans / Taunt the devil / my holy buddy
I shaved off my beard and went off to track down the Summer Beetle Kids / I still believe that the shadows are reality
trick shit (adiaphorism shall never die out around here) / curly-haired kids eating sweets and chatting about war
sialic-like substance found inside the dead crust / I have a reason fro killing the sleepy / we taunted Caged Amos / blind date (I sure can smell you, though) / visions of a dead snake being eaten by a hungry toddler /
we took the caged concubine and put him on display in the school yard / Joey never lies when his nose is broken
boneless sleeves and memory rocket / I like your bones better broken / selfish drummer does another dumb drum solo
actually, the devil’s main rival does have rather hairy hands and feet / dead students squirming in midday sunshine
New movie title is ‘King Elvis and me and everyone else’ / mopping the brow of the chubby child / Roger is back, kids
Imaginary sweaty walrus / a reasonable chance that the jazz solo will end sometime soon / scarred hotline / French corduroy
derived from death / kinky classics / four dead citizens we float on the authority of the Roman / ZX Sex wolf
my dreams taste of ice cream and jelly / legacy of ZX Demurs CPT / the day they shot the head of JFK / doomed flowers
my mother let me marry the shiksa after I plied her with wine and liquor candies / is it rude to spit at the mendicant?
the aliens were rather surprised at the lack of humans they encountered during their time on earth / ranch teeth
propriety does not exists anymore on the tiny inch / verdant teeth / those lions seem to have such a good diet
my hands are too big for my arms / you are a plastic cowboy / post-death tryst / meridian wank / feet too big for a baby
Captain Gerome made me fully aware of the deleterious effects of drinking poison. / bog man come home / life in the Peter Bog
‘hang the DJ’ cried out the disturbed clubber / stuck-in-traffic-wank / I and my slave baby / African violence centre / Tenby's Lungs/ Cat factory / Pile of germs / Brutal Homophobic Orchestra (JC) /
hair collectors have been banned from over 90% of Spain
put on your summer boots and come and enjoy the group hugs / DJ Lung Shagger is back on the decks / shallow extortion
why do hippies always own cats? / my head keeps unlock I keep leaving my head unlocked / got a rash like a cowboy
I had lunch with the mahatma and dinner with Lindsey Buckingham /talking crap whilst stuck in traffic / youth in the bath / fashionable tits/ the day has arrived when it is fashionable to have man boobs /
a polar bear’s frozen beard / my grandfather amassed a large collection of African sex toys / banned from the sucker parade
I deleted the journals and turned my attention to sweet peacock / my son is at the cratch again / beaten up by a man called Jane
I wish you were more like Stanley Unwin / lack of probity in Ugandan government / Jim Henson’s cupboard was full of dead moppets which disturbed my nephew / ugly chanteuse singing the hits / children with coconut bones should not be fed
a paucity of breath prevented him from going on to the main course of the love-making / Albanian volunteer / rats smell of roses
I drew little smile acid faces one ach of my 28 knuckles / I am sordid teddy boy / my new boyfriend strongly resembles C3PO
if there is a male train then, surely, there must be a female train / trained to have impure thoughts about bearded gentlemen
I’m rather fond of William’s gut / ZX heterosexual intro music - tea tree error / ZX 2000 Fabian illustrated using hands + feet
the American wrestler’s suicide attempt was well documented in both local and national press / E Bay Gun (not allowed)
my mum has over 16 original Japanese ‘Kid Dare’ DVDs / e bah hot rats (sucker punch sucker thump) / fish on a skateboard
Marky Mark had me baby / they always go for the eyeballs / concubine junior / the time we forgot to save the dandy
DJ Smacked Arse’s latest mix cassette is a heap of steaming crap..discuss / footprints on my girlfriend’s face
get stuffed on man meat / I love your countenance and all the hairs on it / absitomen, dear children / farm foot / hands on a ghost
a vicar whistling provocatively at a female builder/ a female body builder being shown around the makeshift kitchen
angry jazz / keeping mum in a box cardboard box / charge of the chocolate brigade / famulas of the Gorman / German mixed salad (Stanley
I’m hiding from nothing (I’m just hiding for the sake of it) / the hidden curtains / muddled birds / comforting crack
‘Lollypops and Headlocks’ was a shit title for my autobiography. I realise that now / looking at bums on the train home
even the morons can sometime lay on the beautiful ground, huh Chuck / choking on bones of the dead (luxury eyelid)
he celebrated the birth of his child with a pineapple and a cup of hot tea / milk my eyeballs / Modern Shirley
discussing the subtle differences between life and death / rumbling guts suggest bad curry / calvary orgy / limbo baby
trying hard to think like Tiny Lebowski / the hole in the roof stops them from getting out / where is boiled in the bag boy?
the squalid champion / I dipped my fist in quid / 4 giggling 7 year old Indians / the people that live in the giant’s armpits
the streets were patrolled by imaginary lions on horseback / I often dream that I can see colours that are ‘off the spectrum’
inside the mind of an idiot savant / take Lionel back to Britain
we performed a masque for the heiress, and after it was finished she presented us all with some golden eggs to take home
we brought in some grown-up apes to amuse the politicians / there’s not enough room in here for you and your beard / limbo biscuit / clubbed by a seal / I remade the pilot episode of ‘Twin Peaks’ using people I had met on the train home / cup of man’s spittle / a love note to Howard (the man beyond the moon) / a fish eye in my soup bowl / harassed by the Japs / it’s a bucket of slush. Pappa / I remember the day I saw the sea cry / weeping sea/rare screcrows / mysterious Chango (2012)/random pictures of Simon / 100 yards to hell / I put the duck back to bed and went off to buy more Chinese vegetables / golden blind fish / fragrant dump / dumped all day / I’m too busy to pick up the abandoned fingers / human dog /boneless empire/
the men who carry perfumed beards around the yard / be bop banquet / roped off for the benefit of Jesus / fingering the future
ah yes, a cup of tea helped make it the ‘ultimate day’ / Bulgarian ink Vimto / sex on candy drops / kinky mephistotles
I don’t trust the following groups of people: 1. people who prefer animals to humans 2. people who don’t drink 3. people carrying sanguified rapiers / death does not matter to a god (killing gods is my ting) / mesmerising shtick of concubine
there is even less incentive to get a nosejob now that I am the last man left on earth / honing in on bone bag / kinky skank
what is art and what isn’t art? – ask the ape. / how to take pleasure from a graveyard in winter. / Croc histoire / skanking on ice
Kid Neptune and the ancient boys of Atlantis / puppy engine / yes I would like to shake your foot / the emperor inside of you
in the belly of the absurd (with the gross pointy heads) / Alabama
standing in front of a beautiful painting of Andi Peters / birth of the Space Ape / pork rifle / Chip Monk / I joined the army to get a good haircut / chimp monk (I am your brother) / I attempted to record the mountain sounds with my cassette recorder and a cheap kid’s microphone / I am bleeding because I have been kicked out of the Fantasy Gang/ wearing flip-flops in the snow / gang of wizards (with tattooed ankles) / I’m attracted to men with cracked teeth / here is what I am searching for in ‘a man’... diamond-encrusted teeth, big round eyes and soft pink fingers / tattooed in the morning / girls with large bottoms make me feel good / I was presented with a big bag of muck and a small wooden effigy of a pigeon (to put on my dash boar) / kids with fish in their back pockets shall not be admitted into the art gallery/ extant corpse / crocodile toes / vegan in pyjamas / death of a man’s man /
I demand at least one doxologist in (or on) my team / Moron
island full of pickled Londoners / she slipped off her kirtle and climbed onto the back of the meat truck / Western tits
here comes a pointy-headed man, not from San Francisco , but from Birmingham
we tried to persuade the janitor to let us in my offering him a bag of counterfeit bones / bountiful trip to pseudo Treasure Island
if I said I loved you, would you jump off the bridge? / two women I really adore:- Mary Gulliver + Sandy Robe / baby bullets
wild big man says 'shopping for people with no taste is easy’ / forgotten sexual positions of the 18th century / biscuit tin babies
my favourite artists in numerical order:- 1. Richard Mutt 2. Daddy Hell 3. Cyril Bang / banged by the porn queen / fish imprint
why are Australian Road
the salt dog took out his ‘Guided by Voices’ cassettes and laid them out on my mother’s dining room table
saving my best lyrics fro ‘King of the Bad Kids’ / he insisted on calling my hard mates ‘love’
I auditioned for a small part in Jack Cock’s latest play titled ‘The Horse in the Swimming Pool’ / does Easter have a capital e?
most everything I do say and think is informed by that Bukalski poem I read when I was young / I prefer British curries
most European men prefer to wear their hair ‘up’ / why do American kids have to act in such a twee fashion?
Mancunian candidate (I left most of the form blank as an act of protest) / promoting the Scarred Cowboys at the fashion show
my boyfriend was hero of the beaux arts / sank corpses / dreaming of a world where monkeys are my pals / slag of the day
you leave my Woodrow Whycutt alone / Jazz Skin – the baby Madonna / Jewish Scrotum / pining up photos of the baby Madonna on my mother’s boudoir ceiling / devastating psychological problems suffered by French surrealist
1920s cab driver in my bed / the girl who simply could not wait to discover death/ nearly every action is inspired by that ‘Cold River Classic’ poem / afraid of being reborn and coming out as an ant or a pie / I am hoping to eat a sandwich fairly soon / buggered in the morning / second hand job / my smile reminded him of his late boyfriend /
watching Luis Buñuel's Un Chien Andalou (1929) and L'Age d'Or (1930) with the sound turned off
I feel like a king at bath time / naked from the head up. / drunk on promiscuity / life on the light continent
blind man at the microphone / skewed eye Jackie / my best mate the pansy
Johnny spent most of Saturday drawing up a comprehensive list of dead ex Raith Rovers football players
dismissing the eyeball thief at cocktail party / land of the massive small people / dangerous lifestyle of a beast-child
my life was changed by reading ‘The Diaries of Bobby Ball’ / streaming shapes from African jungle / communal moustaches
14 people called Ian in India , 21 people called Neville in Sudan , 62 people called Brian in Mauritius
I’m 38 and I have never seen a newborn baby yawn / yawning before and after sex / stuttering stentor
would you like a drop of arsenic in your morning coffee? / triennial wank /taking tea with a NY Prick
Reminded about the Flower Twins with PG Wodehouse and the Lovely Lad of Brixton / children of Face Book
pick off your new child from the dummy tree / I realise know why I dreamt of girl with minuscule baby (FB)
lost your way in the makeshift graveyard / gossoon confused about his place in the New World
we found the ledger containing details of all the voodoo ceremonies he had carried out / get your chickens out , gents
Seaweed-coated old men wandering around Kentish Town
my head is full of traffic reports and memories of perfumed file de joie / snacking on ancient vittles on TV / bon vacatia trinkets
dinner-time for bandits / sitting on a brick wall with achilous teenage boy / I wished I hadn’t fell in love in Shrewsbury
Robert Louis Stevenson quickly regretted shaving off his nice soft beard / the man who couldn’t digest shit / shrieval outfit
truckling infants make me sick / making love with a screwdriver in one hand and a box of candy in the other / birth of beast / ..the diamonds that keep spilling out of your mouth / rotten space shuttle couch /
my head is full of memories of supposedly ancient astronauts / would u like a drop of milk on your coffin? / memorable wank
if you show signs of a flair for ribald humour, you have a better chance of becoming TV show host / men called Yes
habilibated to cut off peoples legs and ting / merman toasting in deep-sea disco / B) life of an abecedarian / C) blue-eyed puffs
whilst the other girls danced and chatted I read my first edition copy of Strange Life of Ivan Osokin / bleak appendage
the Top 50 bungled operations, tonight on Channel 04 /haunted by ghost of an idea / we spoon-fed Moon baby / greasy moon we fed the kids with damaged sushi and Japanese rice cakes (out of date) / legendary bachelor / sugar-coated puffs
he unlocked the back door and slipped away with a handful of sex tapes / my mother the muffled horse
I always reject advances of supermodels / most men’s decision making begins with a stroke of the goatee beard / jail spice
everyone pities the claudicating sports superstar (whom is clearly in a considerable degree of pain) / jazz puddle / jazz jungle
we were welcomed into the salon by a very butch-looking deodorant salesman / growing into a furry child / storm drain humour
we sent our sons off to find the author of the latest volume of Bone Poetry / headless dogs can’t bark / busty dog / filial ugliness/ everyone can appreciate a well-groomed pit pony / Dutch beard / I lost my self-esteem whilst under house arrest (actually it was bedsit arrest) / I found a pound coin on the pub floor but decided there and then to not pick it up (Dutch honey)/Ezra Pound Blues Vol. 04 / the many moustaches of Billy Thornton / moustache on the moon/ cash for moustaches /
naked men all piled up in the back yard / the day Man Ray got a cut on his head / jazz accidents. / Balkan tank blues
wide-eyed bastard in the fish tank / school yard hoodoo / I popped an E into my stir fry (E Wok) / bubbles from the moon
slag on the moon / chit on moon / uber slag/ lair’s teeth / beef teeth / fish tooth paste / telling jokes to dead people
teenagers dream of Wolf Angel / NYC teens sitting on the sideboard / I got my thumb stuck in a cottage pie / confident chicken
I have to be careful what disparaging remarks I make about ‘Spandau Ballet’ when in the company of new romantic baby
I disregarded the Xmas onions / there is nothing wrong with snacking on honey before a shoot / pies are not fattening/ I will probably stop twitching when the war is over / I am not modern..i walk like this because I got shot in the Forgotten War / biscuit for a beard / / I am not modern..I have always walked like this
if I said I love you, would your heart melt like a snowman in a fire? / we persuaded the mendicant to be the van / smoking fags with the daughter of the swamp donkey / vision of a brick wall which has had the words ‘pudding basket haircut’ spray-painted onto it / I prefer women who have bowl cuts/ Beatles vs King Babba Band / I’m considering switching sides when the war is over / blanket baby band finger / dog in the town centre selling ceramic bones and other trinkets / collectable bones / bus stop kitten / why do drabs always hang around outside my bedsit? / smacked buttock politics / I formed a gang which only admitted people who had had cosmetic dental surgery / getting foolish on a Monday / Sunday night hard-on /
here come Candy Fist and Ancient Star / wheeled out for the benefit of the fresh-faced octogenarians
I often dream of men with cabbages instead of heads (I dream in French) / heterosexual pastry / gloves off for Milltown Kid
calvity doesn’t make you a social pariah like it did back in 1973-75 / modern bones / unaware of the qualities of gypsum
the boy who sanguified his toes every morning before breakfast / all-true tales of Bethlehem
we shall not miss sloughed former identity of Mother Killer / beautiful Irene / you should not fall in love with canal Baby
Perambulatory dosser symposium / the joy of the eagerly-received gypsy benison /Band of Livid Gypsies
I was castigated by my sister for getting a fashionable haircut / de mode haircuts of the local tribe / childish biography
layette won’t fit Massive babba / gay cupid/walking thru the desert with splinters in my toes / buffalo spoon / my grandfather had a deep love for sea cake / biological trump / swapping rude poems with the sea cadets / I shaved myself and then met up with my fellow mud wrestlers/moonage baby / sweet sugar pussy lips / the splendid bandit / superglued your face to the side of the Irvine Plaza building / glued your lips to the Brill Building /superior beings being taken out tot dinner with space men/spooky coconut / begin the slaughtering…now!!/listless fog dog / taken out to lunch by a swamp donkey/fit birds on the moon (there is plenty of room) / even socks get the blues./chatting in secret to the space monk / I will not take off my glasses until I have combed my eyebrows /
I had a dream that I was one of the last half-man half-lizards on Earth / gypsy stuck in the middle of a crowd of sports fans
this arête text has been wiped out by the bad scholar / the rapper left his gold false teeth on the last bus home / chump steak yum
six bands I am looking forward to seeing at the Jazz Punk festival; Bad Kreuznach, Summer Eyeballs, Bruno Bauer Trio, Gas Riot, Big Angry Man Trio, The Filthy Epinephrine / ‘Bernard Matthews’ is not my dad, I told the vegan beauty
the USA
teenagers always dream in full colour / Bountiful banquet for GG Allin / ordure buffet /..so we were forced to bathe in Coca-Cola
Babushka’s lament / not everything I think is righteous, you know / permanent haircut / evil of Disney (RE?)
I fell in love with the fat bachelor / get happy with the Japanese Christmas choir / German mannerism leave me cold
list of items a Chinese bachelor needs for a happy life:- X Box, Chinese phone book, wig and some rice
I am the 17th teenager to leave a box of fetid meat at the entrance of ‘The Ministry of Filth’ HQ / King Duck III vs whites
Chinese haircut (AKA ‘bowl cut’) / greasy dandruff on my cricket whites / turned on by cricket whites (cricket is not racist)
my mum dusted the crops before cleaning out the bath / I got my lover to recite the Hungarian phone book in a sensual voice
I found the manuscript for ‘Scorpion and Felix’ down the back of my ancient lover’s sofa (speaker – cowboy)
I prefer mutable children / Charles Murkowski’s colourful junk (I don’t mean chunk) / 2006 (A) Ha Ha wars (YMLI) (yes)
we landed in John Lennon (‘s corpse) / a hairy baby floating above the municipal zoo / I just called Queen Steptoe a ‘twat’
red donkey / feeding fish ‘n’ chips to dead astronauts / kangaroo court jester / block of fools / I won’t let you kiss my son
we painted our gums white to make us stand out from the drab crowd of onlookers / my miracle day was a let down
a brief period of nympholepsy was followed by quite a severe migraine (oh well) / a brief ride on the donkey / cowboy suede
force-feeding vegetables to the vegan / I fed myself fish and wondered aloud when my mother in law would stop talking
heavily-bearded homunculus drinking ale and talking about things that I do not wish to understand / boneless angels
the sweet smell of prostitute breath reminded me I was in New City
worn out astronaut sipping from a canteen of hot coffee / I took page 453 of the Jazz Bible and smeared it with peanut butter
we regret to inform you that we will not be cannibalizing the Jacksons
the rapper left his golden teeth in an old yogurt container / we let the fluid spill out all over the Astronaut’s spare space suit
I landed on an island where there were more dogs than astronauts / salmagundi again mamma??? / secular bible
one good thing about cricket whites is that they don’t show dandruff / listening to jazz alone / jazz for skinny people
you might find that your spoilt trousers will be miraculously fixed by 3.30am / it helps if you are fat/donkey gums / lack of gentlemen in the armed forces/haunted tits / the combined forces of the Beverly Street Gang and the Men they couldn’t hang was still not enough to defeat the Rodgers Gang /
why do people with holes in their heads always have better manners? / he found blood in his tear drop / vanishing faeces
now we would like all the Tessa’s to alight the train please (one at a time one at a time) / 15th century swear words
my new pappa was over 10ft tall / what will become of Tom Thumb Junior?? / local coconut / he was blatantly tripping
men with ugly noses are banned from beauty pageant / life and times of a he-she / bobcat finish cool /motorcycle fulfilment
my Daddy G is cooler than the real Daddy G / the life and times of Bogey Whitmore / Trevor’s pink girlfriend / the day Little Charles found a dead bird in the street / my son noticed that the clown’s teeth were coated in tarmac / Bolivian computer salesman in Kent/I remained impassive when being tortured by the cute teenager / forgetful maps /
we painted the beef with correction fluid to make it look white /itching + scratching on the plague ship / plate of pussy
it was a mistake to impute the jazz track to Jean Keene / I am thinner than Mark Gattis/ I was up all night cradling the baby from Eraserhead / punk rockers in the UK in short and long trousers/
little apple blossom, can I sit and look at your tits? / I asked the leggy superior model if I could tickle her chin for a bit
Jacks Nine (apple blossom) lists his 6th favourite movie as ‘Wings of the Publican’/ EMIPO Sex Pot Pistol
I bought Charles Mansa’s atlas and was horrified to find it was full of crude drawings of decapitated bunnies etc.
there are only about 19 attractive girls in Halifax (UK or USA
does anyone object to me smoking heroin? / Monty this may be something you have always wanted to hear
what would people think if the hoodlums replaced their hoodies with top hats and dinner jackets?/ fat shabby tears
she he key /the bakers welcome the re-introduction of chubby children / in the year 2010 there will be practically no obese kids
we spent several hours contemplating the future of Pink Xmas / XXXmas day is hair and moustache / lover behind the curtains
Chinese eyes of obese child / kids on gravy / fat little kids waddling thru the streets /damp moustache / cousin Coconut
Jewish heatwave (new sun) / milk-white moustache of LW3 shop cop / dead in the sunshine / we always disregard the whims of Keith Parasite / jazz trombone player asleep in the corner / palace chav / palace made of wood /
staring into the eyes of a suckling pig / I worship the robot / grown men who play video games should not be allowed to have children / alligator soup (1993) / ring of worms / I sat in the morgue and thought about Bessie (my ex girl) /
pulled along by malamute whilst eating a Mars candy bar / I was drugged and sent off to the West of the Midlands of England
he put a lot of wait on, grew a beard and started calling himself ‘Chuck N Blade’ / Irish bulimia / jazz from up above homunculus standing on the shoulders of tall cousin to enable him to get a good view of the jazz concert / disparage effort.
who put those Irish steam engines in my garden / my adjunct husband is smoking cigarettes he found on floor / modern wolf
hogg boss let me live / scraping off the crusty exterior to get to the supple flesh beneath / drunk fadeout / the bunny machine / I let the victim live one more day to enable him to see the final episode of ‘CSI’ / ‘Friends’ is the 481st best sitcom of the 8-0s . /
the swimming race winner was presented with a ball of fired meat and a basket of French fries / idea 1:- hero of the schoolyard
we try to avoid the students whose gums are too big for their teeth / dentate fish always make me nervous when I am swimming
I just saw a British peer eating an apple / exiguous boys trying to take on the bigger lads / I might have an owl for lunch
re. Your application to understudy Constant Brine / the pensive executioner / falling through Heaven into Hades
Bald Man give me some sweet jazz - Shangri Laura and the Flimsy Pipers / under a falling fat bugger / Hong Kong Street
welcome back to Candytuft Inch / men with little black dots where their nostrils should be / getting lost down Chinese streets
Procrastinating executioner / waiting for dumbo / stentor in the library / blitz sq taken away the transparent vegetables
sexy drudgery / abstemious rock ‘n’ roll stars should be ostracised from society / chosen this (clocks in the ocean)
bonus handjob / the hand job received from Mr Soft was unsatisfying / addicted to shoes made in Pakistan
maybe i will get a tattoo of a battered sausage on my neck, yeah yeah (Internal relic) / 49 eyeballs on the shelf / are baby frogs pink/ / why is that pink frog not green? / I shrink-wrapped your head, but it stayed as big as ever / dead men in the fishing boat /
baby is back on the Pepper Train / watching THX1138 with the boy from the cinerary / Uncle Duck and the feathered fiends
death of hope for all you Guys With Kids / I gotta get my hand out of this bowl of country-fried chicken wings
Perfomed by Redeye Sextet and the Hot Bastards / I danced around the graveyard in my plimsolls tom amuse Keith Richards
Sid King tried to convince the tourists that his teeth were magic (leave the TV studio before sundown) / game for breakfast
I will not allow my daughter to watch my precious Hollyoaks tapes / Russophile slowly dying from poison /embracing energetic Westerners / sexy traffic / energetic naked reunion / naked hit man /cup of balls / lovely incision/ stuck tits /
the Ha Ha W R Stone stars of the past / a tepid get together with ex-celebrities / kidney whistle / blushing black man
I’ll always be content so long as I got my pocket bible and a steady supply of pussy / Count Jo and the nasty little orphans
the demon had permanently raised eyebrows which made him look perpetually quizzical / great wall of death
who would have guessed Marilyn Manson was born in Pakistan
wolf in tight-fitting trousers / fantasy flannel / girls look great in brand new dungarees / Danish future disappear
I am a modern wolf / kiss of a gypsy / who wants to see a fat girl in the morning? . is Neneh Cherry dead?
scaled-down dragon / your fish lips match your new glasses nicely / brought up by queer / sometimes I wish Christ was dead
and then I see an angel smile, then I smell the gas / a beautiful death for Percy Killer / lack of probity in rancid caboose
I charmed the arse off King Kong / dirty hands of king of muck and filth / demon patent / my new haircut was inspired by the movie ‘THX1138’/runny nose blues/ I told you already, Ken Holm is not dead/
acting out the latest Sid Chokeman play in my aunt’s kitchen / brave penis / unborn Elvis / Elvis spent his detinue learning to rap
the unidentifiable stains on the bedroom mirror reminded me of Netherlands
the soldier sat in his chair and quietly blinked for over 2 hours / gay hospitium (storm poison)/ asparagus maps / gorillas get itchy
Erethism of bladder caused us to drop the tea tray; thus upsetting the tiny cowboys / Jewish overcoats of excellent quality
is plagium still legal on Mars? / totally wiped out from the maw o’ the moon / newborn in the storm drain / flatulent astronaut
we spoke to the humanoid in the international lingua franca, and he promptly fell about laughing and soiled himself in front of all the dignitaries / soiled drum student / if we keep on rubbing our eyes maybe the demon will disappear / essential dogs
I finally managed to disappear in 1987 – who am i? (asked with smiling peasant Irish eyes) / catchment-area beauties
I probably should have folded you up and written to your dead wife / the coffin was left in a state of abeyance
had a coffee and some grilled eggs with the superior being / bona vacantia made xmas great this yr./ me held up the mirror to allow the astronaut to see his helmet for the first time / my broken fashion paw/the Fashanu recital / I encouraged my children to rest their paws during the intermission / lap steel pancakes/it was embarrassing to be eaten by the Anthony /
I burnt myself on the hot goblin / (the Bee Gees are inside the machine) / most everybody falls in love with the Super Body
Jet boy ain’t my lover no more / graveyard candy / hunting down Christian buffalo / miscegenation is encouraged ‘round here
why is the devil always depicted wearing tight-fitting trousers (usually leather) – ‘maybe it is because it is essentially evil to worry about how you look’ / my mum used to be called Neville, if ya know what one means / inimical to the health of astronaut
the beauty of abundance / is it odd to wear my dead girlfriend’s barrette on a chain around my neck?? / why are tribal people always either adipose or muscle-bound huh huh? / Spiritual death of Max Herero / nortical breath / sugar-coated lover
we were the bearded angles (we didn’t play rock music) / candy breath is back in tow
Calliope inspired my latest opus which I titled ‘The Brevity of Love in Sixth-Form College
I met a disingenuous man who I decided I liked none the less (he loved the ending of Finnegan’s Wake) / fluid from a flute
adipose islanders eyeing up your excess fat / too late for breakfast; too early for vice / denim clad fish / chubby dreams
clad in leather in preparation for the storm / what does VPC stand for (the answer is Voluntary Pink Clinic) / pretend demon
a dead-eyed astronaut chewing on his breakfast in a meditative fashion / I’ve always preferred pink monkeys / I accidentally left my ‘best of Travelling Wilburys’ cassette on the back seat of the Dream Bus (I had dream) / I repeat the question for the benefit of the blind children..'are you going to Nipple Island
death of a Sunday morning / gypsy biscuit / summer time hot lover / my grandpa went to school with Rasputin’s toy boy
flicking through a cowboy’s notebook on the penultimate train home / the day my granddad joined ‘The Flaming Lips’
is the death rattle a myth? / shine your head lights on the shabby baby / what the hell is one supposed to do with a dog’s body? /carton of already-smoked cigarettes
pieces of scum of the future / let ‘s discuss the furore of war / jam and butter spread all over the back passage carpet / death robe
we roped off the corpse / ‘oh’ cried the beadle solemnly when told that his services were no longer required.
I prefer bird with milk-white beak / denim-clad beauties trying to get the attention of the passing Eastern Europeans
RW – I cannot decide whether to be nice or horrible / horrible horrible haircut (ha ha) / jail house smashers
Bleating like the devil / my very own impersonal deil / millennium comb-over / bones of the devil’s son
I sellotaped my moustache back on and continued with my valedictory speech / most tramps are posh / he presented the devil’s head in a bucket with all his gold teeth missing / forfend the threat of old, but powerful, demon / I am with the other men, hiding in the cupboard /you will find me in the kitchen at parties..sinking down all the booze / spider’s legs aren’t as hairy as you would think / garlic treasure/we dwell in darkened silence / joy of dead engines/I am friends with a man who wears flip-flops in the snow / rice, beans, peas, cabbage and chicken bones /
I seldom have nightmares about logistics / factitious daydreams dreamed before god / Spider with wings
we spent most of Saturday making love and most of Sunday watching re-runs of ‘Bonanza’ (and discussing the previous nights love-making) / I am a vegan but I sometimes eat ostrich meat because I happen to be addicted to it / collared dog
addicted to bumping / we witnessed a small astronaut trying to buy some weed off a sixth-form student / best man’s teeth
I couldn’t resist trying on the devil’s plimsolls (even though I was fully aware that it would wind god up)
birds without wings always remind me of my childhood /inexorable pursuit of something indefinable (er..huh..humm)
an elastic affair (YKI thanks R (x)) / promised to a lesbian (28 promising lesbian artists) / small I, big teeth
I combed my hair down to make me look more like a Chinaman / nacho post / bring me the soul of Father Christmas
refractory children gnashing their teeth and spitting at the coppers / a day underneath the stars with Sid Vehayches
Sid Viscous classic diary anecdotes (dandy in the heat wave is mine) / toes out at the dental surgery
I just watched that movie about the girl with the dentate pussy / luxurious migraine
we dipped the horse’s hooves in margarine to make the shoes slide on more easily/ thunder domination nub S (skid error)
broken heart sex show / it will take more than a plate of fish to make Cat Man come out / Skid Row beauties
Isaac stripped off all his clothes in the vegan health food shop / what are hoop eyes? / no summer for the Kentucky
why do gangsters often congregate in Chinese restaurants / I made my baby get down on all fours and howl like a chimp
do you believe in darkness / I believe in life after darkness / I painted my September teeth / selfish helicopter
he caressed my hair with his Victorian fingernails / chubby tart trying to convince me to let her borrow my VHS recorder
Mr Norman was left off the lead as it turned out that he was a dead man / I varnished my fingernails before supper
my ten month old daughter sketched a very curious picture of a small bird sans wings / the cup that my group gave me
God is with us, Emmanuel (don’t kill the nice sheep) / some people thing God took the form of a walrus on his terrestrial visits
the local dish put her legs all over the men / handsome eyelids of pin-up stud / Frank and the tortured sewers
I sat in the kitchenette eating pickled cabbage whilst my new girlfriend sat outside smearing strawberry jam all over her face
recumbent ghost dreaming of being corporeal like what he used to be / girls of storm warning / my dad looks like Pepe from TV
daddy is in the vegetable patch looking for his postiche / I made love to king of demons / NYC burp trumpet / tunnel love vision
you can’t have a good party with only Ethiopian oat cakes and Kia-Ora juice / I fell in love with Star Fox on Tuesday 3rd April
hug your girlfriends before onset of war / making love to the killer / I walked past the big grinning German / Uncle Kaballah
single man eating baked beans for Christmas dinner / only sad people don’t have girlfriends (and scientist etc) / doomed to dance
he submitted his tasting notes and then went off to be sick / reckless infant chimps climbing all over the precious artefacts
I can’t escape space jazz opera as my legs have seized up / African breakfast / homosexual menu / I glide thru hell quite easily
lonely African drinking coffee and eating chocolate / the myth of cartoon sex / 1. there are no lions in the Scottish highlands
kiss the electric priest / would you like to see my collection of rare whores? / ambience of a mortuary / fibre-optic legends
we found your missing teeth in the skirt demon’s lair / what a chubby chicken!! / Boy with a moustache / the nausea wall
you lived in society suicided by man (yeah) / I ain’t got no teeth so I just mash up the cod with my hardened gums
city centre chimps with hr dons and banana skins wrapped around their heads / gummy blonde haired baby (deer eerie)
goblin on the forecourt (sniffing petrol and eating a candy bar that he stole from the shop) / you don’t need teeth to eat fish
my girlfriend keeps getting mistaken for a gypsy / Arthur and the domination of bearded kids / loose champ/I’m not afraid to push potential suicide victims over the edge / clinical moon / I asked the doctor, what exactly is ‘classic’ Jandek? / you don’t have to take my word for but, believe me, Jandek is dead/Twelve Minutes Since February 32'nd" [sic] / Janitor's Dead again (Live action – years away)/we draped bear skin over the teenager’s shoulders / big pig about town/dropped my spoon on the floor, and as I stooped to pick it up I was pecked on the left cheek by an old flame/ I am the same as you..i just look a little different/suicide of the devil / I looked into your eyes and wished I was your latest love conquest/I placed my filthy fingers on the edge of your knee and weeped ‘till noon / I will never let you touch my anus again, Phillip / I smeared some cottage cheese into my new girlfriend’s hair / I played cards with a fish/what’s o great about dying in the morning? / asleep in the fish tank/dissolution chamber blues / absolution blues/incipient moon bible reading / perfuming for a queen bitch/I let my robes fall off and proceeded to the window / caught glimpsing at a pornographic pamphlet/I have always been jealous of the pig’s eye lashes / this list was written between 1993 and 2006 /childish fish / hand me my looped features/ turned on by lop-sided grin of stroke victim / teddy bra in the swimming pool/clean teeth is a must if you are going to make it in this world / bulldog licking some meat in butcher shop/tuned on by my girlfriend’s menses rag /Scottish toe nails/bag full of sued teeth / graveyard teeth/
the two sides of under-age jazz / jazz for youngsters / gash building tools (circa. 1980) / graveyard orbit / jar of death
Vic20 baby / Jerry Garcia used to babysit my killer / obese rodeo / running away from the ghetto / death in the hospital / making faces at the ‘onlookers’ / sell your bones on E-Bay / registered to walk naked in the street / I’m 2 hip by half / gentleman’s menu
handing out candy bars to orphans that you stole from the vending machine in the hospital / childish death
my uncle’s paradigm for a better future for Death Row inmates / perdition is a common affliction on Death Row
beautiful haemorrhage /. Death row lookers / twitchin’ ‘n’ itchin’ (all nite long) / Mick Jagger’s 80 Body Bug
Adventurous bruise (bruised by adventure) / death row onlookers / the sky has not fallen yet, Michelle / fallen swoop
I struggled to live my life without the pocket bible my uncle gave me / legend of the dub reggae Wizard of Oz apocalypse
I swapped my beard trimmer for a bag of assorted ‘Willard Grant Conspiracy’ cassettes / handing out good cigars to the penguins
Avuncular love stopped as soon as I grew out of my short trousers / personification of evil is taking me to the movies
pork belly pitched to vulgar adults / twitching in the bunker / child with a man’s head / here is candy nose
leftover life to live w flower of hat / life in Theatre of hate / hate makes me feel good/ lost in Bandrika / noshing on African vittles / the effulgent face of dead ghost / I am nostalgic about my life underground with the ape-men
Charles is a jazz abolitionist / wandering around the graveyard munching on a hot dog / sand bug in my ice cream
trying to convince a pantheist that god is child / lucky eyewear (eye for yokels) / David Bowie’s favourite possession is a little purple wind-up talking owl effigy that he bought in NYC / sniffing the kettle / we found the Welsh actor Anthony Hopkins rolling around on the front room floor with his trousers round his ankles and an aubergine stuffed up his bottom
Mormon wetware treat (inbred janitor) / sugar-coated corpse (spoilt worm)/ Jagger covers himself in bottom butter / body butter-coated foreigners/Norman Wisdom’s teeth / the anal prolapse prevented him from playing in the cup final./
the laborious task of raising children is certainly not for me / beards of Labour Day / I followed my wife into space / Victorian Ethiopians / I am surrounded by men dressed as bears and German fishing boats/
modern haircuts leave me cold (especially shaved heads) /the army major who didn’t know how to love
Paul Newman appeared to have a strong affection for the letter ‘H’ / modest death of Charles Murkowski
spirit of the space opera / dirty grinder (house special specimen) / Captain Baby and the back-room hand-downs
vegetables on display in the sweet sunshine / decaying cadaver smelt kinda sweet / we were shocked to discover thousands of babies crawling around the desert / they were natives of a far-off country called (name of country deleted)
my grandfather always insisted on denying the existence of ostriches (I think he had a phobia towards them)/dead cat masseuse
Garrulous infants keep me on my toes (keep me scared) / beautiful dentist / Pepper Buchannan and the dead ghosts of art class
cuckoo jazz from somewhere called ‘Space Town
simony gets you nowhere (these days) / I arrived in America
the queen was highly impressed by the carefully-choreographed love makin’ / yellow haven / plastic species / I boiled the vegetables and commenced painting my eyelids / sugar-coated chubby fingers / sniffing a teddy boy’s man-bra on the taxi ride home / king of sharp-edged fish/ I collected up your lost teeth / I keep your old finger nails in a bag /
Caliginous skies make me feel solemn / calvity does not preclude you from being a hippy these days
the teenager was deleterious influence on the commune children / abstemious partiers make me yawn
he counted to 3 before opening his eyes and sketching a picture of what he perceived to be ‘King of Death’ / space tic
he dug the grave with a child’s toy spade / amusing roundelay for children and bizarre men/ whelped demons
Adam was not actually the first man, Norman was. / you can’t dance in graveyard, Ian / his combustible beard
life under the pernicious influence of USSR
my father was not sympathetic to the plight of the astronauts / handing out fish to the vegans children / spastic sunrise
doff your crash helmet when meeting a zee chicken / dead astronaut centre (DAC)
my brothers and I decided we would all grow moustaches for Christmas /oh look, an owl eating another owl.
I was am addicted to Christianity / moved to tears by nature DVD / flat foot fashion
the boy who broke out of a plastic bag with no help from adults / skinned monster museum
yes, i would love to see your husband’s tits / mobs on a starving fat man
I always weep at valedictions / grown-up astronauts / Christian giblets / adult moustache / kinky picnic
Improbable classics vol. x / juicy rennet for the smallest adults / children on the moon / stuck on the deserted inch
Surrounded by brave but ignoble girls / inch by inch we get closer to pseudo freedom / we attached a camera to the spider’s web
dad bought me a big bag of candy for the journey / a feeling of dubitation overcame the travellers upon reaching New Land
zombies appear to be in a state of permanent confusion / I vehemently refute the accusation that I am but a plastic Scouser
the Cottage Pie Crew have come to stay / blind man drinking from an extremely dirty vessel / ordure-coated landscapes
butch leisure / butcher at play / stuck inside a plastic box in Tokyo / drip-dried golden eggshells / spinning twat / the day I realised I no longer was in love with Plastic Anthony / plastic pigs with everything/I think I’ll sleep alone tonight, mother / I laid down and waited for the bad men to come/
chamber of secret jazz / I was just abused by a blonde twat / Neff forgets everything else (German Jazz) / campestral banquet
sliding down Funk Street
how long will it take to cook shepherds pie for 10,000 men? / it’s a jazz clap / jazz in a tea cup /albatross jazz 88-89
sperm claps (outbreak of spasmodic clapping at 5.30am) / cute spastic / Welsh sperm / ignore the contents of biscuit cricket box
my new girlfriend strongly resembles Mick Jagger / snubbed by Jagger / snubbed by Keith Richards / Mysterious Chongo/ I rode my horse to work for only the second time / the first time I laid my hand on your breast / smokeless kitten / no smoking rooms in this hospice/my dad gave me his guitar and told me to write songs..but he did not allow me to write any melodies / I live in a grave with my sweet Bessie..the one I never would leave/the very modern horse (the terribly modern horse)/I’m going down to that river to get me some fish / I’m going down to the grave yard to get me some corpses / sunshine fish eye and lids/
Hubert’s first post-madness movie was basically just four hours of ducks walking around a small village / basic big boy
we fed the werewolf cucumber and you could tell he wasn’t satisfied / I look like Mick Jagger’s face / Mick Jagger is 90
we challenge underground babies to come up and meet the press / student roaming around the space centre in a ‘daze’/ Parasol eyes / visions of a man being treated well/fishing for love letters with my 3 friends/ history of boys/creamy eyes (less peas more meat) / beagle in the space shuttle / my dog has 3 brains / do ghosts wear lipstick / my feet are so god damn fashionable / desk-top urine / flaming eyeballs in the darkness/hospitalised apples / I knew what you were looking for, and it wasn’t your lost teeth / absolute bloody concrete / Neil Young shaved his fingers/dilettante watching a half-baked play on TV / joy of death/take those sugar-coated fingers and place them on my teeth / pissed in the Navy/ half eaten octopus / broken-down ghost/
we built a small shelter out of abandoned Metallica cassettes and CDs / massive memories / sceptical bones / caramel swagger/ infant rock star/aren’t you fortunate to be so lovely/ I dream of the RR coming to this town / sailor on the moon / bored with the lack of war/his bones (s) are getting chubby / close you eyes..i will see you in the morning(I wills till be here in the morning)/
He said 'come on Hellcat./ sex with the hell cat / one too many drabs in the billet / cum log / I wrote down the record time it took me to come/I opened the book and read aloud the passage what mentioned pink eye in society / upper echelons of the porno pyramid - filthy ladder/ I stole my candy drops from the dead child / dead children floating past my face/
aboard the night bus / God makes no bones today /posting mushrooms through old ladies’ letter boxes / bearded spectrum
maybe it was wrong to force my wife to shave her head / an acid flashback reminded me of who I was actually was
a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders can say so much. / so I says to Mer-Man; ‘get yer slimy hands off my wife’s breast’.
the soldier had no fear of enemies but he quailed at the sight of the hoary babushka / jazz fashion - orotund jazz
the intellegensia comprehensively failed to summarise the situation as successfully as Dirk McGirk did./ ready for the swamp / evading detection / we decided not to reveal too much when it came to.. / I greased up my thumb and forefinger and left the waiting rooms / I caught a glimpse of the slime-coated new arrival l –man on man / high on shoe grease / kittens of the city/
the white shadows / I took a photograph of the actor’s left breast / keep my lover in a shoe box
legends of Death Row / you don’t like people? Ok, what you gonna do? Spend the rest of your life with the animals?
we glittered up our coupons and headed for the black country / gentleman’s wax all over the hot disco hot / hot selfish pansy miracle blister / god is French / ah sweet lil’ Butchy / noise for Japanese wine / a nose for Japanese wine /
yes, I would love to see your husband’s man-boobs/ drip-fed android / needless to say, he loves pork and beans
jogging ‘round the graveyard / no graveyards on Mars / curried dreams (funeral pie) / jacket toffee / effulgent corpse teeth
a feeling of schadenfreude overcame the motorway pile-up passers-by / deformed baby show / ancient fangs / filthy nativity
everyone becomes a mass-produced table cloth in the end / decumbent fat men being fed soup by a very sexy nurse
would the Rolling Stones have been good if they had short hair and beards? / I had sex with the bearded ladies son
I always wanted to be on Nixon’s list of enemies / father of the Nixon canned goods empire / request an ear-ring
I sought solace in the romantic fiction of Tessa Budd / a ringing endorsement of the vegan philosopher
I spent Tuesday evening with some girls who became addicted to magic pie in the eighties / fear of fake fur.
paranoid gay (the conspiracy fairy) / malison-sufferers hiding under the covers / ginger river / dressing down on Christmas day
I made my face up for the benefit of the Christian missionaries / wonderful hang over / mistaken for an ape
I sat looking at my dead wife with a half-eaten potato resting on my lap / propitiate the sad kid by giving him bag of fruit
we found the chimpanzee devouring the left-over cup cakes / Chinese grog boats/ piano juice/ songs from under the ground
dreaming of a life without shoes / dreamy factotum is using his spade to turn me on / I should be shaving my armpits now
I dream of hiring men to carry out all of the mundane chores of day-today life / I shaved my body to show off to the foreigners
we renounced all of our second-hand ideas / prostate men on xmas day / killing the sunshine / icterus makes you look sexy
Max Cohen struggled to relax with coffee and cake (apologies to you Max Cohen for telling the public this) / perfumed worm
corduroy-clad gymnast / I am not an asshole, Richard / carpet ducks never learn how to float elegantly / hairy wisdom / he took off his corduroy slippers and carried on towards the beach / I combed my hair before being presented to the astronauts / sat petting small animal with menacing teeth on show / guttural sounds in the out house/
Japanese duck in China
never bring a gun to a spoonfight (days before the wisdom) / every time I put my finger to my nose, the kids cried out
I take most of my inspiration from the golden ostrich egg / bruised eagle / garrulous infants made my headache a bit worse
my insistence that theology must yield to the superior wisdom of philosophy got me banned from my girlfriend’s house
I dream of big boned ladies / I touched your fluff before tea time / cantankerous old bitch howling at students / ex wife tale
Mr Baboo and the fiery-haired teens / the fact that I am not a ‘real man’ is an idée recue /snack bar rescues / Indian hedgehog
we stuffed his nostrils with old newspaper so that he would not smell the carpet ordure / orphan smiles (orphaned smiles)
I always dance with my hands in my pockets / the girls who wear trousers - on POP / elephant stew / touch my chimp
truculent 6 year old lads of Northern England / men who talk like geeks should be strangled / gay felony / I shagged the bin man
I lost my voice at White Kids reunion after-party / I just got the new LP by ‘Jack Slime’ (titled ‘Gums on a Girl’)I collect photos of girls wearing men’s hats / sugar-coated toes/I chopped off my thumbs and gave them to your daughter as a present for Christmas / Christian collecting satanic bones/encouraged to move forward by voices from the back of the room /afraid and in love with the ceiling people/disturbed on a Saturday / snooker ball bones/you wrote all your good ideas on the back of your plastic hand / watering cans on moon/long way back to the grave yard / I love to listen to you tell off my children/
what we learned from from disco culture / how we learned to stop laughing (and be more serious at the dinner table)
dial D for Donkey / no Xmas for eyeball boy (don’t stop me never) / those lovely lab rats / lads and birds come together
we dined on the succulent leftovers whilst reading 6th form war poetry / the invisible sin of Dirty Rainbow club member
no acrimony exists between God and Satan / I live with King Deer / Pat’s electric canal / eating candy floss at the funeral/daddy put his bare feet on the kitchen table and it made the women angry / my father’s plastic feet have melted slightly in the Caribbean sun/we handed out the leftover flowers to the Chinese children / Chinese men on Mars/Caribbean manners / filthy fingers of Donald Scum/I dated the youngest of Marilyn Monroe’s children / travelling back from Mars with my lucky black tooth in my coat pocket/worried look on a Chinese women’s face / I shaved that little patch above my penis /
straight outta New Orleans
I experienced schadenfreude when witnessing the melting plastic children. / gorilla in my bath tub /beware of creamy reunions
Shamanic Jack and the forgotten scoundrels of Lilly Island
they took out his bones and replaced them with plastic tubing / the top 101 haircuts of the ‘Romantic era’ / I spat on his grave before the family arrived / we left the corpse unattended and it was eaten by edacious wolfs / a light-hearted history of torture / wet the bed for the 5th night in a row / oh yes (I woke up in a town with no buildings, no horses, no tress but a plethora of public toilets) / what does that tell you about my gravelly voice? / I locked the bathroom door and commenced the shaving of my anus / a video cassette of a man running continually backwards through a deserted town / gorgeous dog - gorgeous fog / summer fog makes me feel melancholy / I packed up my fangs and headed back to Transylvania/ Romania people on the train./
I took a clandestine sip of Ian McEwan’s lager / did you know that Ralph Steadman can’t actually swim?
men called Alan Smitheee are not permitted to join my club / men with 2 names (such as ‘Alan George’)
memories of a creamy engine / permanent gash / my mum’s pink moustache /tank top on a gorilla/ adult rasp (October) / February guilt/lost goblins / my teeth are too small/my 40 yr old anger / I’ll never marry a monkey / basement crash – I fell in love with the blind actress / sniffing my own penis after 5 days without a bath / man needs woman like fish needs donkey / I slipped my bare fingers into the human skin glove and it felt moist like a sponge/permanent eyes / Harris and Elliot go to the zoo to see what they believe to be a penguin/Catholic biscuit /my dad is massive/my Daily Star wage packet won’t buy me something that splendid, Jacky / just puked up the candy floss you had for breakfast / barn owl in my kitchen/ Jacky Crap-Teeth is my new lover (she is going to the dentist tomorrow..thank god!! LOL)./the woodworm and the half-Japanese rock star / wooden teeth will still go rotten, Jacky/this caterpillar stinks of shit / Clyde Barker and the Hot Popes /
trying to avoid old Skank Chops on the way home from the karate exhibition / fudge is my friend
‘Days out with lemonade Gorilla’ was a terrible title for a children’s book / scrub me down and put me on display
my son is starting to look like Marilyn Monroe..what can I do? / why leave kids stranded? / monkey skulls and onion bhaji
the band got jeered off for playing nothing but the hits / resting in a cave while I wait for the rag ‘n’ bone man to arrive
23 year old men wearing moustaches tend to wan t to hear the Fuckedjazz /Jazz yeah jazz what? Oh, you need some love do u?
The pejorative remark as actually aimed at the king / I am Royal Mukka / ..as he laid in his peppery grave / calm before the trots
we keep little plastic effigies of monkeys zipped up safely in our bum bags in our bum bags / sweet scent of death
ten stone man drinking white wine and dreaming of leaving this country for another one of equal or greater value
I shoot the mother of the world / Jazz Willy and the Toe Rags / the monstrous grin of family butcher / question-why do some people lay pennies on the dead people’s eyes / country made of stone and flesh and brick (trumpet mullet) / I ant my medals and my and vinyl records back / skinned before breakfast/ the infant Jandek / afraid of the plastic wall / stuck on Cod Row with FA to do / knuckle clinic / at the bottom of the alley I discovered the following:- a lady wearing flesh-coloured surgical gloves; a man with not very many teeth and a small painted hard-boiled alligator egg / prince of dead fashion / walked out of church with your tail hidden down your trousers / upset the Kia Ora Krew by tipping out their juice onto the pavement / rancid astronaut / the day they clubbed my favourite seal / the day they clubbed the singer called Seal by mistake / happy knuckles/
Drip-feeding bland tunes to the handkerchief-sniffing salesmen / Nuclear box – favourite plastic specimens of 15th century
I gave the horse three free plays on the jukebox. He selected the following numbers:- ‘Horse of the Day’ by Sid Hoss and his Rocking Mares; ‘Gimme back my hoss’ by Horse McHoss and the Blind Horses of Hoss Town and ‘Give the Hoss a Kiss’ by Baby Horse and the Hoss Wranglers / the Buffalo Child / inducted into the C of E (Church of EBook) / Sid Hoffman and the Dogs / dead ladies washed up on on the beach /bonus walnut / the day my moustache stopped growing/
all that training and hard graft and all we ended u with was a cardboard trophy and a hug from Sebastian Cod Roe
girls boys baby fish drug addicts / smoked my last cigarette before shaving off my beard / fat man in or on the throne / dark puss back on the cat throne / seismic irruption – yes of course it was Wayne /
I can remember when Jesus Christ was just a teenager / pathetic in the jungle / the devil is a teenager / coconut ashtray
pass me the slew bucket, Jason / feel like a man called Jason etc. / smacked by an astronaut /wolf in the engine room
wolves in the throne room / NN celestial lineage / butcher’s kingdom / Saint Albatross in egence / black dandruff
canescent body builders make me feel edgy / steam dragon / it wasn’t my idea to ban the Beano / the satanic hiccup
repeat after me; ‘I must not make rude hand gestures at passing circus entertainers’ / A tank top-clad gorilla squeezing himself into a telephone box (he broke his mobile phone by sitting on it in the jungle) / good night Orville
the dried-out, but still succulent, left-over’s / forgotten 16th century anoraks / family butcher / butchering the sheep
bragging about how much fresh fruit you have in your barrow / it’s time to wheel out the demons / gay from the night before teasing the manacled werewolf / hounds on the lawn / admonished for wearing your father’s moustache
he ignored the nun’s monition and went ahead and played chess with death anyways / throw away those dirty eyelids, Kent
What’s the point of gazing at shoes? / jump erupt kettle eel lovely leftovers / Reduco-Obesity Slayer / looking guilty in November ./ childish pancakes/liquid statements / ‘Inside a Boy’ by Devilish Martins is my 78th favorite album of all time (but I gave the cassette away to my father’s new boyfriend to make it seem like I was ok with their relationship..which I was)/ filthy match box / they cut open the snooker ball to see what it looked like on the inside/slap-on pancake / I saw my dog inside the house/abandoned cassettes make interesting listening / big bag of cancer shop cassettes (inc. such gems as ‘Forgot my teeth’ by Jacky Risk and ‘Forgot to put my teeth in today’ by Ken One / dead men queuing up for a spot in the grave yard / my TV eye on your face/the sweet silent sound a corpse makes when being lowered into the ground / fidgeting in the morning/suspect at the piano / morning left-over’s (taste the best)/children stand in line waiting for the Lolly Pop Man / played my ‘Cat Army’ LP for the 6th time in a row/I am inclined to think that ‘Spaghetti for my Tea’ was his best movie ever / Salvador Dali made me feel naked on the inside/rolled on top of a dog / reminds me of the dead man / switch on your lamp to make the ghost come out / see you after the space trip, Jacky/I think I’m gonna have a shave when I get back from space / armed corpse/,my father always wore a Caribbean bone around his neck / sinister Norfolk boy/I stopped using cream when I have a shave / forgotten death of Ju Ju Lord/plastic Japanese people / I got dirt on my knees, elbows and front teeth/the surface of the moon was covered in a talcum powder-like substance (which we tasted..it tasted like chrome) / jazz fish flat head special sauce/city goblin / I fed rice and pie to my neighbor’s little cat / I told my fellow spaceman to stop fiddling with the controls / you never smoke a cigarette when you are doing something else/cantaloupes are so good to eat / dreamed of a China man in the shower (getting his hat all wet)
I threw my ‘Best of Anthrax’ cassette into a dank and deep abandoned swimming pool / creamy daydream
I forgot to wipe the pictures of ‘Goose Jackson’ from my broken computer / from the bottom up you could tell he was my lover/ ex lover in the bath/I kissed a dog just to see what it was like/they put a blanket over the corpses’ toes/Jewish nostril /bucket of monkeys /
the secret Kentucky
..with a worn out vinyl copy of ‘Poor Amos’ by ‘Death and the Slayer’ / kill lemming / silent piss
nefandous literature of the Honey Killers / meandrous journeys in heatwave / diacritic marks on corpses
cyclothymia affects the majority of my ex-wives / my wife prefers to embrace her synthetic religion (I am happy)
tall men trying to fit into very small rooms / abandoned heatwave / men who eat their dinner with spoons
dreaming of a new car park in my back yard / WEIRD Spanish zombie count / blind butcher / sensible shoes on a corpse
why did Felix lie down in the street with apples and oranges? / why are French people cool? / Death in paradise
I probably should not have told my wife that she looked like a whore when en grande tenue / the history of 1933
Johnny Hobday and the pleasanter bedsits / sanguifying spirits of worn out VHS / life with the vibrator
why is Norfolk
gorilla drinking soda from a tin can / absit omen we get killed on the morning of the advent of the Greatest War
we found the abandoned body of the school master nestling amongst some snap dragons and several old unread copies of ‘Heat’ magazine / I loved that ginger-bearded rapper / white men doing hip hop in black ghetto / gay zoo /the way to identify a demon (indeed, the only way) is to sniff his arm pit.. if it smells of salt..he is a demon / my paper weight was the big toe of Captain Harris/modern gob in King’s Lynn / modern goblin/Jesus stares at me from the back-bedroom wall / went floating down the shit stream/
I renamed myself ‘Mr Target’ / he will not see REC (a gem) / gewgaw for my lover’s brother / boxer’s nose job
I love everything about my trousers / hamper full of bones and biscuits / sanguine abattoir cat / my nose job went good, mamma
I lost my virginity in the toilet of a Korean biscuit factory / oblong erection / district privation / dishing out coconuts to tramps
we traded in our dog for a dolphin / I walk around the town carrying my girlfriend’s head in a paper bag
overblown sanctity is very common on this hairy planet / Polaroid of a witch doctor / don’t kill the sugar kid
begging in the chip shop (for more chips) ./ allergic to French foods /Dutch Francophile / weirdo cheval /shame of Elvis
return to Albion with bag of assorted vegetables / sex thru the letter box / I never liked old men to wear pink
he trained long and hard to be a bus driver but his skills were never put to work as he was actually allergic to steering wheels Colombian riff gum / bullying the hard case / Cobain’s haircut / Bunyip has not got his trunks on, ladies/ the modern spastic / the teeth that fell from your mouth/greasy flowers / my mouth is too big for my face/
conceited chattering fop being shown around the biscuit factory and yawning in a very pronounced manner
..and then the popinjay spilt loose change all over the chaise lounge. / gorilla wearing no make-up
all of our impressions of Great Britain
modern men standing around discussing computers and that / orange-faced lover (my) / death time soliloquy
dobbed by your very own sweetheart (high school variety) / spraying chicken perfume / Jacobite sound system
modern men standing around tapping their feet to the Edwardian sound system / bedsit vegans / Crawford’s engine is full of air
danger danger; it is not 2003 anymore, Wolf Kid /adipose men eating salad / he rubbed petrol into his gums / I just discovered Christ’s bones buried in my back yard / ‘greetings from Death Row’ / The Horror Channel beauties/ it ain’t easy to fool the underground children / I bought a small cottage in the river/I invited you back to my caravan but you said you were too busy fishing for minnows for your kid’s tea / daughter in the burned-out library van/have clean Chinese fingers/ Kentucky buttons/
chunky on a Tuesday / aluminated head of the gypsy humanoid / boiled sweet in mouth of corpse / hospitalised moustache
the white eyes of Amos Andrews /aboard the last gypsy ship in town / he took a photo of his diseased glossa / chunky corridor fat man dreaming of cakes and other victuals / acuity of mind is generally absent amongst residents of Pope Town
it started to rain so we decide to watch ‘The Towering Inferno’ for the 89th time / fascist’s day off / milk-white beard
‘Dead Man Jerking’ / no albumen on my breakfast plate thank you momma /girls ‘n’ boys in the snow storm
gorilla smashing up a canteen (because they refuse to serve him on account of him being a gorilla) / vibrating small animals
I too k a swift drink from the barret and then headed on down the road (with the little cat) / swift death for chicken
from my window I have a great view of both the Eiffel Tower and Montgomery
only one recorded instance of a person dying from laughter at a clown / candy for champion / poetic redaction in yellow world A
after around 5 mins of being in mall I began to weep and was comforted by a mobile phone salesman (who I am now married to)
coat your fingers in butterfly dust / maybe we were always in love with the Buffalo
xx flower – broken hand of the man / we perfused urine all over the chav / get out of my head, Mr Richardson
from my window I have an excellent view of both the Eiffel Tower
serious moustache / left of middle ages / I finally relented and released the horses from the Esso petrol station
‘enjoy your trip into space’ cried Neil Armrest / cuckoo eggs again, ma?? / 2 second drum solo / from my window I can see both the Eiffel Tower
we found Alice Cooper eating a lamb shank at ten to midnight / nose tunes / eye tunes / here we are (yeti doormen)
.. when he comes home and gets out his bollocks and places them on the dining room table / he sold off his eyeballs
I have always admired Count Dracula’s dun-collared tusks / smacked in the napper by bad kid
Kid Biscuit and the rubber tramps / traipsing around Germany with my collars tuck up / reach into the airport / Gulliver dropped his head down to see the midgets/I thought I told you to go home and see out the dogs / log of sin and deformed people’s bones/ detached skin / get it loud – put it on the sofa for the kitten to listen to/I turned you over and sniffed your behind / I inserted my thumb and forefinger into your gaping sweaty orifice (which one, father?)/i feel sorry for the junky..no one ever touches his feet anymore / touch my foot..it is beautiful/ /
beadle brought me a message informing me ‘god is dead’ / F1 - barret of cow’s milk
holy wears behind closed doors / I permed my hair for the 845th time / dishing out cubes of lucky meat to the passing spacemen
beautiful pirate with a bag of booty just for me / weight of a baby was comparable to bag of chips / queuing up for sex
flutter like swans / foreign twitching eyeballs / if you want me to jiggle my balls..i will / float like weightless fools
from my bedroom I can hear the sound of people getting their hair cut / anthropic jazz banquet / empire of squares / I keep my pet rat in a big sports sock – it love sit in their / swollen front lobe/
excessive comstockery afflicted the works of P B Charleston
Chinese chat room (bad-tasting cakes) / take my head into the middle of the sitting room / Dracula is stuck in traffic
woman called Trina Dumez being shown around the cube factory / cubism still turns me on boys / your life will never end if you keep going out with these young teenagers / vision of puppets/why am i not drunk yet? / cinema death/paranoid teeth / I played my debut LP (called ‘Fish of the North’) to my dead uncle/maze of bones/ I was amazed at the sight of a loose bone/chasing fish around the day centre / met my new lover at the drop-in centre/I never lost my lucky wooden cornflake-it just rotted away / inshallah – I will never love another star again/church farm hospital music / hospitalised cat music / my brother shaved in the gutter..and didn’t tell my mother in the morning / the tiny little fists that you used in the alley fight/is ‘Clive Pug and the Hopeful Chinamen’ a made up group? / sock fight / the scientist noticed that the moon was covered in teeth marks / jail house boner/noble thin man told me not to leave my ‘Slits Cat Slit Bitch’ LP alone / thanks for the kiss on the chimney / I arrived in Keegan with a bag of mushrooms and a small photo of a chimney in my back pocket / slash slush kitten/out of circulation ‘till the dogs get tired / I tore of being so damn sexy/
the singer from Traffic attended to his perm whilst stuck in Traffic (traffic?) / Jewish dough / blasé coconut
I spent over 19 hours listening to my boyfriend’s ‘Traffic’ cassettes. I came to the conclusion that they are a slightly better band than ‘Jesus Alley’. / a comprehensive list of the ailments of Pete Genus / the tumid nose of French lush
the supermodel had his nostrils removed/eagle's eye; is over beaches / lesbian chip shop owners
my sister placed her ducks on the family sofa and ran off to join in with the stunning lesbians / leisure tits
no I am not in love with Eartha Kitt / I lost the letter that you wrote me to tell me you had lost your mind
James is not my name and I do not find traffic attractive. / burnt eyelids of sun bathers
my son reminded me of Johnny Briggs from the TV / the golden hair of legendary love maker by the name of ‘Golden Joe’
we hid the pork chops so as to stop the struggling vegan from gormandizing them / my new boyfriend turned out to be a gal
my boyfriend has just opened a shop selling Olympic-standard shuttle cocks / shuttle bus cocks
we lost our virginity in back room of pub in Morton Bagot/ a nice new cotton ball bag / I am 100% committed to not being diotic/ / chatting to the Infamous Dead LS / Duberry Rat/ Johnny Sadack and the Crushed Kittens had a one-off Motown-style hit called ‘I Never Knew My Head Would Fall Off if I Danced Like That’ / jail beat/can’t get enough o’ these pickled eggs (and vulgar chutney) / whip out my chutney/I wish I had some orange cassettes / I want my orange cassettes!! / terminal hiccup / beacuoup small gay / 46 muffled and fuzzy symphoiens..all on one marvellous cassette tape/ German cassette collectors / modern spastic dances whilst the
I poured gravy all over the chicken cook’s grave / Keith’s Chicken fat Orchestra / curly-haired gangsters are usually funny
I handed the girl a spatula and got down on 1 knee. / titles taken from big curly / map out your dreams / bestial dreams
like a machine which kills itself after performing its daily routine / two eyes out for Mashie Moses / summer eyebrows
big cave men wearing kinky dresses / charity shop voodoo / will you release me before supper (it’s beef stew tonight)
my son is starting to look a little like that Jewish guy off the TV / aren’t all waiters dumb? / the prosilient poetry of Ape-Man
I just saw Roger Bland wearing a pink straw hat; maybe he has a new lease of life / waiting for gravy / atrophy in paradise
I knew a man named Sidney whom kept his hair in a pot / pot full of feedbag dreams / maggot on the telephone
if you could hold on to my genitals I would feel much safer / studying cetology makes me feel happy/ the model possessed plenty of pulchritude but had absolutely no capacity for intelligent thought / singing in the space shuttle (double boner)/
we presented Maxi-Jazz with a bumper bag of petrol / ‘when I’m munching carpet’ / carpet munchers are us. / you microwaved your bones / I prefer the ghost to you /
Year of the Gods- Elephant Man and Yellow Man DT / porno star in cashmere sweater / Johnny Cash-Horse
de trop girls cover themselves in tin foil and blankets AT / homosexual spectrum / wasted youth wasted beards
my cowboy cousin preferred to spend time with his Alsatian to spending time with whores and fellow cowboys / fussy vacuum
I got a picture of Cat Stevens in my wallet / would you like to swap a punch on the nose for a kiss down a back alley?
my sad face indicates that I want a hand-job / i broke up with Miss Piggy, leaving Kermit free to pursue the bitch
ruled by voodoo priest / I lost ma voodoo handbook in da middle o’ da night, boys. / my kid smell of motor oil
girls with cream eggs in their mouths should not be kissed immediately / heterosexual hand gestures / Arab spring onion
furry vacuum / me, Cecil B De Mille and Hornpout Juju III / we plastered our faces all over the Modern Gloom exhibition Manhattan sex pests / he announced his arrival by tying his hands to the back of a VW Golf / cat size:- tiny
Meringue eater in my brain / Donald Davenport’s unmanageable hair / the contrite killer/ eating cakes with the porno queen Cleopatra’s cheek bones are turning me on / 80s jazz antelope /my daughter was filmed driving a car in Africa
Google ‘Kevin Bacon’ when you get home from the abattoir / pitch your tent in the graveyard
can you hear the creak of my tiny foot wear? / deserts are gay / bummed in the morning / my fishing spatula
‘can you hear the creak of my weak knee’ asked the ageing pornography star / disturbing reunion / my weak spot for harpies
I caught sight of the devil’s finger tips during bar room afternoon / I only want to believe in poetry / Grunge Baroness
the child could not help but laugh when the schoolmaster asked him if he was proud of his misdemeanours (of course he was!..who wants to be a goody-goody?) / privation makes you thankful for a spoonful of coffee from time to time / the day I realised my feet had fallen off/ kinky fish man /
I played my Amon Duul II cassette so loud that over 90 per cent of the housing project could hear it / scum city dwellers
Callous poems of circa 1884 / children snoring like giants / the raison d’ e’tre for the bearded man was quite unclear
A) a jazz thumb and forefinger / the day (we) ate out the hero poet. / jazz in the war zone / censored at breakfast
Bobby Pilgrim and the legend of Hell Sid / Sidney
it’s very noble of you to offer me your pants but, really, I’m fine / Daddy Short Bread /ring of peace (ringpeace)
I asked the ragamuffin child if he knew of anywhere I could find some good fake meat / Jewish hotline
antique sexual remission / incalescent corpse (TV ET)
I like your lips bagboy (feedbag dreams) / Emerson rocket / turned off by Lapsed Language records / godless sands
I allowed my young nephew to ingratiate himself into the infant punk scene (CROWC) / sweet ringpiece / asexual fashion
I put my face behind my hand before advent of Crow Theatre revival / Inside Curly Elbow (Weird frock) / Father of Dunlop
King of the Day Time pushes his trolley around the empty streets / hung summer inside the abandoned swimming baths
madness of men who live in bushes (i.e. Superman’s bird) / capricious high school master buying a bag of candy corn conventicler of the long-forgotten gods / b:- plate of breasts plate (old Father Dunlop) / kinky tentacles / my summer igloo
I should have left him lying on the stair case / white men in yellow jackets / forgotten tribes of the late 80s / Catholic converter
silver-skinned corpses / I remade the pilot episode of ‘Twin Peaks ’ using people I met on the train home / forgotten bones
grinning babies make me feel uncomfortable (especially when they’re on TV) / rag time sex / cowboy chav / Amish warrior
I dated a man with a drawn-on moustache / filthy Pegasus / docked rabbits of Jolly Farm / in the middle of a tea bag fight
Beth’s diaries got ruined in the biblical flood / mapping out the walk to graveyard / eating yogurt with your fingers
the crushing inevitability of new series of X factor / Mark inspired me to write about pop thing / sexy implants
Dick Pilchard’s perfumed circus / standard-issue ostrich / sexual positions on back of truck (honey truck)
memories of old men sitting around eating nuts and chatting about ‘da good old dayz (when drum ‘n’ bass concerts were free)’
I fall in love nightly with circus muscle / mucus on my door step /silver-skinned babies grinning in the morning / my sparkly tits attracted the de-mobbed soldiers/
the man who claimed to live in a bottomless pit / flying off the bottom of a volcano with fire birds / gutsy yeti –it’s me
garrulous corpses (ruing the ambience of Day Centre) / dropped into insanity in the late 90s / pathological superman
listening to cowboy jazz whilst eating a half roast dinner / German jazz players should use more deodorant / legendary piss
dance with The Young Taiwanese Poets / Christmas parley with Ethiopian chatterbox / 3 cheers for Jimmy Prophet
self-imposed exile of minotaur / the man who killed the entire men’s hockey team felt absolutely no contrice / dog quid
unuria sufferer on the joke bus / hot pieces of death / caveman in the hospital / bacon diet eye (chewy revenge)
drink my blood from a Styrofoam cup / staring into a demon’s eyes on Saturday night / eaten out on Sunday morning
devil in the area (handing out fried chicken and kebab meat) / people wearing lipstick in the dungeon /cunning lingo (lapse)
lost in Heaven / I have some of the dandruff of Jesus Christ for sale on E-Bay / sweet lips of my mum’s best friend / gorilla eggs
my friend Gavin Entry walked off with ‘the worm’ / I warmed up the worm in my hot sweating palms / the secret lunch break
I pasted my eyelids back together in the morning / too much cock in the club / deep sea jazz club / I hurt my toe today (the big ‘un)/
can I borrow your gorilla? / they just sat around discussing their jazz haircuts / garrotted visitors (Monday, Tuesday etc)
the basics of 1988-89 sugar-coated warfare / corpse in the airing cupboard / motorised banquet / putting God to death
au courant with latest developments in on-line pornography industry / an Ethiopian boy colouring in a drawing of a giraffe
there was a wolf in the room mum, and it was dying (SMAS – F Off!!) / twisted like Nick Cave
dancing with your tongue hanging out (like a hot old dog) / the quiddity of Nick Hercules Cave
festival of frozen meat / ophiology got in the way of our relationship..i realise that now / the Allotment Show / gummy yeti
death in the men’s room is my 561st favourite play / obese swimming instructor / fat Chinese man in pink anorak
making love to a plain-clothes policemen / 601st hit on New Testament quotation website / dirty muff / gypsies’ secrets
Foreign tongues never seem to cease wagging / we wrapped up the baby crabs in the Diana’s muff / secreting camel juice
I prepared myself for evening’s diableire by gelling my hair, trimming my eyebrows and packing my crucifix and my best toothbrush / mouthy children should be told off in a stern manner / juicy effort / the edaphic-dwelling kids from New Village
dobbed again by silver android / dinner-time pulse racing (it’s my favourite.. crab cakes and grapes) / primordial hangover
I always insist on keeping my salmon-pink anorak on when making love / he was forced to expose his shins to the elements
I just saw an ophiologist wearing snake-skin boots / I quoted a premorseful sentence on page 445 of the New Testament
extant poetry from Forgotten World / we danced so hard that our bones fell out /monochrome daydream / I was picked up from 6th form by my mum’s dad’s friend Gavin Entry / hot death (skeleton in hell)/I encouraged my dog to go sniff out the bomb / I’m friends with terrorist..they’re ok really (when you get to know ‘em) / fell in love with man in the volcano / getting involved with TV star /Monday dolour eased by the arrival of the new panda cubs//kittens stuck in the sewer pipe make me feel sad/that ain’t Elvis..that’s my father / I scratched and scratched until the yellow bones were revealed / head full of peculiar noises, mouthful of gape he bones / tricked Jeremy into buying more coal / the yo yo bone / do you have eyebrows?/I took my European son with me to show him off /took my newborn gorilla to the gala to show him off to the other ladies / I have always been rmore popular in Japan than in the UK/aroused by the long-forgotten echo of hope / simian horologe/I met my future wife at the quaint disco / men in the tiger bin/
there’s a devil in the back yard (punching holes in the tyres) / front lawn strip-tease / the operatic yawn / childish toe nails
more jazz for you, then / more twat for me, then / no no I am not Caramel Elvis..that’s my brother / Pedestrian TV have neglected to inform us that we are indefinitely banned from making any more shows about death and disease etc./ I put Russell dust in the colonel’s supper / a big bag of recreational drugs for my father / plastic grapes / the sewer babies dried out in the sun / I hollowed out my head in preparation for the rearrival of the infant cubes / infanticide is not ‘my thing’ / we taught our kids how to sing but didn’t bother with the piano playing skills / my lion-like teeth/spooked out by my brother’s hairy baby / my naked thumbs were covered in dust and filth / I was covered in deitrus from the space shuttle / my teeth need washing/stylish eyebrows of European / only idiots make love via a computer/medieval skin / I thought i told you to put down your hair brush and come and clean my teeth for me/the progressive pagan / I ritually abandon my skin but this does not make me a snake, oh no.. I am 100 per cent human and I feel love and pain, just like you/ i couldn’t help staring at the spaceman’s tits / potential bride of slaughtered bachelor/ / jink shop baby / junk shop slapper /it’s been a long time since I went to Ethiopia / I find myself dreaming of my dead girlfriend more and more each week / my cassette of ‘The Simpson’ episode featuring Thomas Pynchon was mysteriously stolen whilst my back was turned / I videoed myself eating a rotten old peach (and put in on web) / modern gents on motorcycles / I took off my hat and placed it on the head of the balding man/ my foot jut moved of its own volition / skanky girl’s diatribe in cheap bargain shop / jam on my sideburns / I gulped down the skanky liquor and headed off for the disco / birthday breath / I shaved my body in preparation for the mud wrestling match / cobweb dog / I reached my hand into the air and wished I was a girl / I shat my leather pants, Mamma / software chump/David Letterman shaved for my mother / hi I’m D Letterman and I’m dating your mother / my son in law speaks nothing but pig English / liberty of the former dead men / I am unable to wear a hard hat as my head is too soft / I put my foot on your belly/ juicy penguin / shaved skeleton / I go to sleep with the devil and wake up with Jesus / my eyeballs are so creamy, mother / 1. Jandek’s mysterious portions / 2. the benefit of blame / bomb sight / I just witnessed my girlfriend being chatted up by Eric Idle / my father came back from ‘The States’ and handed me the following VHS cassettes..'Rocky’, ‘Rocky 2’, ‘Rocky 3’ and #’Rocky 4’ / I live inside a very small organ drum / dark-skinned ghost / men who refuse to dwell in refrigerated cauldrons / I dipped my fingers in the hot soup / emperor’s teeth / children disappear down the back of the sofa / deleted teeth/Chinese eyelids / it feels good to cry at midnight/
shaking off the demonolatory numbers / beautiful snafu / gorgeous tank / ringside wimps / Bog Eyes goes to Mauritius
actually, I have absolutely no interest in being a man / sugar coat me and tell me I am the girl you need / shaving on the way home / gorilla on welfare / I am my mother’s haircut / the hairy jubilee/ a look of glee on the bachelor’s face / I tossed myself off before the princess and her favourite puppy / was I supposed to forget the latest Bible entry? / my socks stink of Christmas day
his face lighted up when being reminded of his days at the peep school / I demand more time to wax my moustaches./Rocky’s organ / that taste you get in yer mouth after eating bad fruit/ Why don't you buy a dog? You're a dog cook. / my fish floated away before meal time/
my wife taught me how to smoke properly / I am, not ashamed of my gypsy fingers / curious cyber ball (let me do the talking)
Sounds of Sorrow have just put a video in U Tube (snorting blow from the disco floor) / bell end blues / bulbous prixx
people fear hermetic coffin / he shaved his head before breakfast / smiling at passing cyclists / king o’ skin / golden eye lashes of beautiful ladies / blame it on the barrater / kids in the smoking room / or should that be a flower book for the pocket shave / eyebrows of raspberry and other berries / nortical hand waves / corporate pussy / omitted by the fried egg society / shaving on the moon / stung by god / glorious gash bag / let’s eat the Anthony / it’s easier to look away but I tend to get drawn to death and destruction / eat my opinion / hot emolument from street clinic venture / the Kinks are on the moon / shaving cash
I wasn’t too fond of brittle idiots (I have to tell you this) / golden hippo / shaved teeth / fire up the boiler a likkle more
followed around the night club by a man dressed in bishop’s robes / gently stroking Mickey Mouse’s moustache
Kingdom of bones / followed around Mars by a stocky man in dungarees (with several felt tip pens sticking out of his pocket)
I have always admired my father’s moustaches / sing song with demon / goats in the movies / morbid teeth / special tooth
blind man at the controls / would you like to see my signed copy of Judge Dred’s new LP / what colour is water? / biblical lips she got her lips removed / children playing computer games when they should be tidying up their hairstyles
I have to ask you…did you ever get a book of girls with moustaches? / corrupted by Mark E Smith (wish bone list)
I have to TRY to meet him so I can ask him about the moustache book! / I often dream of caged astronauts / colours of moon
my new favourite Bolivian Jazz Funk band is ‘Wee Willy Wank Stain and the Cum Loafers’ / moonage dragoon / I painted eyes on my eyelids so it looked like my eyes were open when they were in fact closed / that lovely feeling you get when easing yourself in the swimming pool / caligynephobe at the fashion shoot / modern haircuts in 1961 / I have always preferred a one-fingered salute / I wiped the tears away from my eyes before entering the karate club /
she kept a dish of eyeballs on her dining room table / Wee Willy Skank and the damaged dragons of Ethiopia
falling asleep to Ceefax / Seefags / no no I am sure it was a sea fag (sea faggot) / I’m running out of sorrow / the day I ran off with Kip Spencer (the Dixon dairy daydream carnival shoe stopper – don’t walk barefoot over broke glass) / broken girls keystroke orchestra (yes it is 2014) / scab rockers / may i refer you to page 426 of ‘Travails with my Father’ / broken winey
a list of people who I wish there was a possibility that I might, one day, make love to / hey man, not all foxes hate chickens
2047 entry:- I found my long-lost ‘Clams Casino’ CD underneath the preserved corpse of Daniel Radcliffe / 10 uses for a broken arm / I waved at Daniel Radcliffe and he retorted with a dirty bird.. I shall never watch the Harry Potter movies again/
I bribed Bolivian fish market trader to show me his toe nails / Greek piss / this club is full of cock/ broken shoe blues / tubeway scaremonger/ / hydrated corpse / bring me some sugar.. I want to sweeten my teeth/
Trevor is on the cannabis again, Aunty Jitter /war is more boring than one would imagine / hairy cockerel in my garden
a man wearing a fur coat on a really hot day / Rambo does not appreciate poetry / my daughter’s erotic poems were pinned up in my living room / I appreciate your concern but, really, I don’t want to shave my beard off today / silent scooter/an Indian boy’s paper-thin moustache / text message reads ‘I want to see the golden cuckoo’ / Nazis in love / Basra shoot Kitten/
my new girlfriend used to be called Emily Kitchen, but now she isn’t / did you – captain Beefheart had too many fingers / blank stare from space/cess pit treasures / look what we found in the cess pit!!!/
you may as well lie on the floor and cover your face with towel provided / mesmerised by Sid Barrett’s penultimate panting. Eileen decided to shave off her facial hair and go on a date with the kick boxer (poems written on my kitchen wall)
sink in the kitchen/Albanian chug / I lost my car keys and then lost my lover/I could never have guessed how cruel you would be /not everybody deliberates over what they’re going to say / the curtains were coated in dust and grime, but the coffee table was immaculate / I thought I saw my ex wife standing in the snow, counting her fingers 1,2,3.. / I spent all of my cash on mink coats for the wife and smelling salts for my son / dirty old teeth chomping away on the disease-ridden gums /
I just spotted the man they call Jacques walking around town with the donkey under his arm / felt-tip pen all over your cheeks
since when was cutting off a man’s tie a sign of affection? / French headache / headache caused by New Modern Art
kiss my puss and wave goodbye for quite some time / bleeping like an ambulance / Christian pussy / cowboy of jazz
sexy ambulance drivers tend to be gay / promise me you’ll never talk to the androids again / sex in a space suit
damp rampage (post-sex revival) / cigarettes and bitches / I always put on a C86 compilation of African jazz and Belgian drone music before having sex / white soul what is washing up liquid? (genital relic) / Maniacal suicide coughing up syrup(s)
we sat around in jumpers and ate cakes etc. / detecting a hint of suicidal mania / day 1 I lost my ID / breakfast boner .
I am mad about sausage prize. / got mixed up with Kid Afro and the doomed drummer / puff on a tractor
too many farm animals on the moon / modern jazz baby baby / shoving mixed fish into pipes
I found an old second-hand copy of ‘The A to Z of the Castles of Cologne, West Germany’ on the back of my grandfather’s head gypsy sleeping in the kip pipe / I spent most of the journey admiring the bejewelled fingers of the gypsy
passages to Rodent Street
I have told Meteor Baby to get his finger out of the pipe, but he won’t listen
the moment you realise that you look silly when you make a fist / slump baby – slum baby
slumped over the whore’s breakfast table
Day-Glo army ( bozo shine ) /Winston never did find his lost pineapples / sewer pipe baby / Eland Diouf lives in a swamp
Disney eared (heat wave0 / heat wave soup for Disney Kenny / IRA fashion parade / the dead men of Santa Bola Square
,..how we got our life mixed up with the life of the Jazz Rodents / crazed in the heatwave (sucking on 90 tits) / peace-time mash
the top level slaves have blue moustaches / celebrating Christmas with a tin can and an un-playable Duke Ellington LP
does the gorilla have to go on drums? . / MG did I tell you that you are wonky yet beautiful? / Goo and Sugar. /I spent the day trimming my toe nails and handing out pastries to the homeless / jazz fly-over (Kathy Burker is sexy) / dummy empire
listening to the Can canon in a kind of dreamlike state of mind / Deadlock Whiskyman; Deadlock dream house / soul denier Jackie Oere’s pulsating brain (Chinese mammagramme) / pulsating death throb / Mungo in the board room / shaving on the top deck / dope depository / Kathy Burkka is my tenth favourite in / I love to feel the alligator on my feet / deep-sea deadlock / fishing manuals buried in the sea/ I have always been attracted to sea turtles / I slipped my fingers into the freshly-churned butter / I’m playing table tennis with Keith Richards’ kids/
Iggy was my saviour / East German ambulance music / soundtrack to the burial / temperature of a demon / schoolyard sex
I thought only gypsies wore plastic shoes (or is that wood?) / camp soundtrack to the gay summers / illustrated guide to hookers
the janitor slipped off his death mask and headed off to Never Never Land / beautiful suspect / choking on coma bones
Don't Turn The Light On, I’m coming back home / Howling desert / Mother showed me the sky for the first time in my life don’t you bring The Rain (jaded orchestra) / diving into muff. / she brings nothing but rain and filth / don’t talk to the dead
Elizabethan hand gestures . I ingested the pills and took off my rain coat and smoked some ‘shit’ / Christ hates Christmas
cock up your bumper and run towards the North / occidental treatise / Northern birds (Northern broads) / Soho Mojo/
I thin kit is same to assume that we will not be dining with Jimmy Saville tonight / I am now starting to enjoy empire of filth
we erroneously told our mum that she would be reunited with Slave Dog when she arrived on the Moon
days out with the Christian scaremongers / of course, I eat nothing but pork chops these days / summer fear /the furry summers from first base (heart string) / I’m starting to understand you, Rocky/ mobs on the moon / diseased soundtrack / I slipped my feet into the gypsies plastic shoes and made my way to the free festival / my fingers smell of tiger skin/dancing to the burial soundtrack / we used to love sex/
she brings you noting but death / I took my memories straight from her head / Aubrey the dead onion - fish paste teeth
shits on Everest (YTIWW) whatever / we reached the summit of the mountain and immediately popped some ecstasy
coconut breath / ripe creeper jazz cassette (4 children) / my boyfriend has good breath / my boyfriend’s best feature is his chocolate eyebrows / Colonel Dust Cloud is my 88th favourite jazz pianist / jazz library haircut / we filled in the gaps in her teeth with a pencil / I shied away from the Bitch Queen / you look ugly even in that new tank top / I took off my vest and jumped into the lesbian’s hot tub / grandma living her dream (spending time with apes) / I ate like a hungry ape / she’s a smashing looking bird, just a shame about the verdescent teeth / I promised I would kill your daughter-in-law / memories of a malcontent / gypsy rowing a boat all the way home /my German address / privation must not prevent you from enjoying your summers / but Malcom..skinning your own animals is FUN / buttered kidneys – I shocked my wife by revealing a tattoo on my arse which was a map of a Caribbean island which tragically sank in 1988 (she had never noticed this tattoo before, hence her shock when i revealed it to her) / leave the pilchards be..they are for my little kitten/got some meat for me?/you think you are better than me because your breast are larger/pig in the bathroom/new favourite baby / crushed at Xmas/sweaty fat people stuck in corridors / my brain is soaked in petrol and rancid butter /
God hates Christmas / god hates Christians / Muslim dinner date / funky ‘n’ fat / paynim eating all the cottage cheese
Spike Jones soundtracked that summer we spent in the dilapidated hut / my memory is haunted by the promising child
we spent most of 1983 listening to the wonderful jazz / I gave out biscuits to babies of jazz / transferred out of the chitlin circuit
the bordello was very disappointing as all the women were extremely ugly / Tank baby Blues / an Arthurian Christmas
I love a party with a kinky atmosphere / dipping my skinny fingers in the bachelor’s soup / Christian haemorrhage
in bed with the beano din / beautiful flange / now that Kelvin is the boss of men / Care Bear luncheon / afraid of Otter Man.
going to Shrewsbury
don’t give pie to skeleton chops (skeletal chops) / I got frozen out last night..and I woke up this morning feeling good
I shaved my bicycle / carping on a bout the state of the ladies day chamber / Mr T’s eyelids / gay caravan/ Felix in the night kinky wizard/I have always enjoyed looking at baby’s clean teeth / despite her teeth being clean, she still could not get served /
who made mummy wince? / I am fully au courant with the comings and goings of Peaches Geldof / steal cave-dwelling babies
I pickled the glamour model’s brain / we were presented with a glass of stale for the journey home / whistled at wolf
assessing the wolf child / bags of cringing old people / salad days in hockey arena / holiday in Hades (yeah I need you)
big black apples were raining down from the green sky / I memorised the words to ‘Poetry Ocean
the boys laid their war souvenirs out on their mum’s kitchen table / African number 01 / the eternal return / jazz panoply
I just ate a fish supper with Beat Takeshi / chucking small fry at a blind walrus / Japanese happening / snake in a loop
discussing classical philology (and Nintendo games) with Ulrich von Wilamowitz-Moellendorff / throttled half to death by a girl who once worked in Boots / unuria sufferers sitting around drinking a lot of water / harmless sixties /the ginger rerun
rewired baby / remedy for a ginger supermodel / cool hands of demon / dogs won’t eat cabbage/ the furry baby from the cabbage patch turned out to be the son of my mum’s best friend / Deirdre, Pat and Kevin go to Leeds for the day /
we spotted the king without his make-up on / them farded Beatles / I fell in love with a lamp post / men in the sea without boats
agrarian families with mud on their beautiful eyelids / we love this land and we will not leave / mythical USA
extant legendary movie stars should be kissed on the cheek frequently / I will not leave Death Row, even if they make me
I forgot what my mother told me to do today, so I went for a walk with the dream kids / my life with ghost of Kate Bush
. so I floated in the sky with the released balloon animas / emancipated balloon animals floating in the sky
in love with a midas (again) / overwhelmed by crowded empty streets / babes of canal / positive filth (troll reject) / forcing rancid butter down a young man’s throat / cancer traffic /
the charcoal wolf / my favourite day of the year is ‘Tuesday’ (any of ‘em) / jazz library hairstyle
rejected suppers litter the canteen / Great Aunt Nell has three fingers on every hand / kill me now, mummy (IA)
I just finished making love to the drummer from Blur / only students listen to ‘Pink Christmas’ music / trump music
jazz library killer (death jazz) / I gave birth to my son in the local ossery / Fein mouths on outdoor faces.. / Ossified man the
I decided to listen to Blur instead of Oasis and I chucked my Oasis tapes in the River Seine / motorway mouth
I got Phidias to make me a sculpture of Ian Botham for the local cricket museum / bathetic life of John Phidias
homecoming king is walking through the night with a lollipop in his gob / erotic panophobia / the queer jazz
mamma called in The Diamond Dogs, but it was too late to save the macho kings from being ‘turned’
lack of rectitude amongst the modern jazz players / malapropos bones / hairpiece meal for the man who eats hair
created for a hair sculpture /Amos Moses and the drunk innards/ secret pickle / pickled innards/2 fingers of rum should be enough to sate my thirst, thanks / I built a garden from cabbages and bones/
disgusted by death / remove my body but leave my head / raincoat link / did you know this.. Jimmy Jazz had plastic bones
I dream of walking on carpets whilst listening to the Queer Jazz / I put the eyeballs on ice and danced with the fascist
gorilla scrums / I don’t really want to fall in love with the big gals / honey-coated corpse / Alex Format from one to zero
I lost the keys to the kingdom down the back of the sofa / death at the Olympic Games / honesty bucket / drugged sailors
damaged kangaroo (damaged by careless tourist) / I took a sip of Vermouth and proceeded on to the zoo
it’s a shame Bird didn’t get locked out of the sweet shop / osteal kids should be fed more cake / do ghosts have eyelids?
I was attracted to my girlfriend by her milk-white eyebrows / Gary Bar
Beautiful men parading their moustaches around the town (catching the eye of the deformed school mistress)
my teacher’s final factum brought about the beginning of the start of New World / orange spots on the baby
pestilent breakfast / daddy’s on the cough syrup again / big bowl of dub / creamy reunion (2) / biscuit tin beauty /specifically African darkness / Porth Meridian / the dankness hang around until the pony got home (MLPT) /
my girlfriend has a thing for Jeff Goldblum..it’s a small effigy she made of him out of clay and bread / Eric is deformed
labourer ordure all over my sitting room carpet / sitting in the shade of the octopus moon / ankle juice / Voss on your lap
autarky is impossible when you keep throwing very lavish parties (including massive banquets with top-end hookers)
men of Sparta sitting around discussing modern shaving techniques / God is on a break / Blur or Oasis, Athens or Sparta
we had Dracula round for dinner and he refused to bite our necks / slags from Salop / nautical slag (nautical eyebrows)
this is not a reasonable price for a glove puppet / Diana Spencer puts sex on display for everyone / fashion vultures
Plato probably already though of that, John / Blur once got to number 06 in the Greek Top 40. / creepy Monday (not Sunday)
the day all those refulgent kids died in the morning / red language (filthy mattress) / sexy pig / my attic smells of gay people / i never knew I had such a beautiful moustache until I won 'moustache of the day’ in January 1988 /
Mesmerised by a bright yellow gravestone / proclivity towards listening to damp eye music /Popeye Idol
farrago of deadly animals / ostrich in my bed / my dad always wore his cardboard moustache to work
rare author with gravy stained teeth / corpse over the rainbow / Disney fingers / nature baby/Peter and Giles always had a strong desire to visit the moon / I heard that the moon is a shit hole / I was adopted by an eccentric business woman – she sent me to school with a brick / my memory is fading but my tits are still pert /
…and then a worm popped out of the ground and talked to us for half an hour in Mandarin Chinese / man or fish?
I licked some liquid from the sweaty show girls’ glossy lips / men eating ice creams on Sat afternoon / faggot in space
a blank stare from The Alligator Lady / lost and found in liquid State / curious steed / bastard in the lounge / back-up trotters
what is or was or might be, Sherman Sherman
we finally located the E3 swamp and discovered an old ‘Man or Astroman’ tape floating on top of it / Heroin bone
is the anything more utterly pointless than a cucumber pie? / embarrassed by the mess that is my new hairstyle
smells like King Corduroy / the new age of Nirvana tested even the floppiest of flops / dream drugged dragon
half-arsed vidimus / Christmas knee teammate / floating towards the moon with just a jumper on / the Christian alphabet
The gourmand waited patiently for his African banquet / memories of Black Regent / hospitalised fist / Grandpop’s busted chops
Grade A idiots of Balmoral / Ballistic squad morality / tears from above / treasures of Leyton Orient / I became
why are Christian infants always androgynous? / we left the Christian banquet before the prayers commenced
the magpie showed me his wonderful glitter collection, and I felt a mixture of admiration and envy / dance of the half-deceased
I left my best toothbrush in Magaluf cheap hotel / deserted by the love rat / my girlfriend has a bisexual bicycle
donkey jazz library / men who are scared to be loved / sweet tits of Sugar Babe / the suicide banquet / gorillas will be missed
African astronauts trying to convince English women to help them take their space suits off / assaulted by champion
dogs trading for fish / under the auspice of a really hard-looking regent / I regret the arrival of toothless baby / jazz slags
I sat eating pickled onions as the cry-baby once again commenced his wailing lamentation / why did God make you that way?
man or Elvis? / the masque player didn’t actually have a mask on..he actually looked like that! / the day Batman shat his suit
the reticule contained most things a lady would need, and some bullets / puffed doggie / men called Daniel walking backwards
we renamed the Bush Baby ‘Hash Baby’, as we could smell ganja on his breath / my night out with Spooky Clogs
men named Phillip are not necessarily going to join a massage club / yes, I think I might take off my anorak in a minute
getting turned on by the dogs of middle England
a list of celebrities who suffer from elephantiasis / no one takes pride in their hair anymore / bullied from the waist up
Yard Baby upset my girlfriend’s best pal’s dog / the brain surgery is best performed a huis clos / cruel finger naisl / we subjected the teenagers to a bout of Christina signing / childish splinters / Chinese splinters./ Tom hanks is my boyfriend /
the boy drowned at sea and they never did find out his cap size / distant memories of a cheese-eating ghost / splendid deodorant
he kept post-it notes all over his flat as a mnemonic aid / such nice examples of infant beret / the great spirit leveller
stuck in the jungle with Jack Vermin / jungle vermin / the death of the hired man / ..maybe that is why I am menial labourer
We showed the proselyte our drawings and poetry and he made his excuses and left / Bores got lost in the umbilical jungle
does Guillaume Apollinaire ever have a normal day (your internet doesn’t tell you anything)? / juicy hogg for my breakfast dancing with Killer Mike / ladies dandruff / day out with the tooth doctor / Egyptian eyelids / god’s ogling everyone
oh to be a bottled child / foreign legion attacked cuckoo king / defunct otter / gadding about town with the relaxed kings
staring at an elephant’s face for over 2 hours when on acid. / high society vs ‘the squares’ / oh to be a bottled kid / farm worm photo shoot for crappy supplement / magazine intestines/ kids from the laundry / I poisoned my own teeth/Derek is an ugly name for a baby, don’t you think? Sex with strong girls/stuck in Vietnam
the children wrapped the cadaver in cling-film and proceeded to prod it with a plastic fork /my child’s teeth were 90% sweet
I took down the trull’s leather mini skirt and switched on ‘The Best of Kids on a Saturday’ (Vol.02) / deformed map reading / lonesome howl / beyond the ditch / laundry butter (laundry butler) / Stuart Gulliver taught me to sing backwards /we found a tennis ball on the moon / mummy’s laughter / the blind pulse / deformed kid (snot patties) / I have developed an obsession for coming up with new ways of making love to my girl / farming at midnight (Jack is under pressure) / toad dog in Christian sect / jugs of cement / jugs of perfume / jugs of deodorant / forgotten boy sitting on his own reading the Koran (AV) / I joined a club and I felt wanted again / my girlfriend left me because my slippers stank / we commenced with the hand clapping at 4.46am and we didn’t not stop until every last teenager had stopped behaving in an abusive manner / pissed animals make me laugh / filthy sunrise / a vegetarian who hates animals.. / pissed by 11.15am / spectral modesty (spatial modesty) / afraid of Cliff Thorburn’s moustache – DUK Cliff has yellow fingers / cottage opera / meat-free opera (that is more like it, she said) / look towards me.. me I am you in 2003 (holiday in Africa) / teacher on the tarmac /African in wellies / I learned how to draw and read from the ‘Viz’ magazines that had been left behind by the previous astronaut / I am born an astronaut – I am your teacher (friend of teenager) / skinny animals in the zoo / I am perfumed killer / groaning in the bath tub / preambling around the cemetery / I cut myself off from the astronauts / the golden pipes reminded us we were not at home / I sent my Polish daughter to buy me some frog spawn / dead energy . /the spaghetti engine / I got you between my thumb and forefinger, little man / my cloak was dangling in the horse manure / every small provincial town has its own Madam George / I pickled your teeth at the weekend/
Following that finding, here are a couple of other sources I read that proved some form of ambiguity (full of pudding) / I couldn’t manage to have sex because I was full of pudding / belly full of acid / my girlfriend left me because my hair was too curly / I shouldered the blame for the death of your best pal/skanky girls on the moon. /The surface of the moon is covered in cocaine/we concreted the surface of the moon / we will tarmac the moon / tarmac Mars/ Jimmy Tarmac on mars/
Pallor of the 91 per cent dead / why one earth would somebody choose to live in Rochdale ? / wild muppets / Muppet load
malism is not something I particularly subscribe to, Scratch / A taste of the future and the past in one hearty meal
bifurcate haircuts of the teenaged lads / re-tweet this when you get the chance..'Steven Watson is heterosexual’
ethologist studying behaviour of a rat on a Wednesday evening (when he should be cooking dinner for the fat kids)
Spanish ankles / it’s time for the new childish dream / gentleman’s aigrette should be worn at a ‘jaunty’ angle, boy
the man who loved to look at boys with centre partings in their hair / even though I hate it, I take pleasure in it on a daily basis/
we traded fresh produce for a bag of Korean firearms / Popeye’s robes have been put on display and I really wanna see ‘em / buttoned-up thinking
Legendary breakfast (minus the hash cakes) / champion tit bits / fear of short hair characterised the late 60s and early seventies / second-hand ducks
reticent TV host on U Tube/ I knew you were a dead man from looking into yer eyes /memorable junk / side order of putrid meat and vanishing veg/ do ghosts have eyelids?/ I flicked cigarette ash onto the cowboy’s new boot / my splendid indifference to death of Peter Sellers/back street plankton / can we go home now, killer?/the Aussies (I call ‘em ‘Ozzies’) forced me to grow matching beard and moustache / Bleeding Tom Mills' moobs turned on the formerly heterosexual body-builder/ elastic hangover /
I already told you how much I admire the teacher’s eyebrows / governed by filth / ordure all over the door handle/I spilt my guts out onto the babba’s head/will I always be ‘core-class’, Kim? / I studied the corpse until the smell overwhelmed me and made me drop my pen/
tall Scandinavian women always seem to get more attention than ancient hoary landladies. / Todd one Todd two / Christian buffet/ happiness is a myth
Yellow-skinned hostage of a blind man (pop heavy pop) /we had sex on the ironing board until our mother made us get off (she needed it for the ‘cheap kids’ buffet / Mars makes me feel uncomfortable, but there will be no tears when we land on the moon (yes..i know you miss Trevor and Dolly; but you can find new pals next week)
submerged scoundrel (underwater scoundrels) / one-legged cetologist/ recollecting the frog-mouse war with some disinterested eye witnesses / songs of leviathan
the ambulance driver has a nice sun tan / I can’t remember how to get to the TV room / burnt by the pseudo sun / customer’s fangs/
jactating the severed heads of the champion athletes / ‘woof woof’ said the champion dawg / the saddest slag in the whore house/
a common epithet for my legendary father is 'The Big Big Man’ (so big they named him twice) / distant haircut /lady’s hangover
an orphan crying on the steps to a derelict building was the saddest thing I ever saw /another elastic hangover / dead man’s nosejob /nursery school violence/ I want to suck the emperor’s toes/zombies tend to hang out in derelict shopping malls/ Bleeding Tom Mills just gave birth to a Sega Baby (ask tall girls to fetch down large crates for you)/’Guided by Voices’ is Bleeding Tom Mills’ 74th favourite group (his 73rd favourite is ‘Age of the Bum Buffaloes’ / bumming a fag on Xmas eve /
we gave a ‘Guided by Voices’ cassette to the sweet pessimist / Marky Mark is back - USA is guided by people who look like trolls / entry-level mendicant/ entry-level haircut / intermediate nose job / the day they sent an Iranian monkey into space (and filmed it on their phones) / I chucked my eye phone at the passing snot-nosed business suit man /
a Goth who is secretly into Mithraism / hats off to furry Russian men / destroy yourself in the evening / discerptible phone book
‘cut it off’ cried the saint, balefully /my grandpops kept empty soup cans in his garden shed..for absolutely no reason (why would he need a reason?) / black eyes of astronaut/
guilty of standing still whilst those around you were playing sports and dancing etc. / Lady Oxford, you made me boring/.he stripped naked and poured cold milk onto his balls...and then he mumbled something about the emancipation of the working classes / confirm the worm / crying out for a pig in a blanket / babies inside the higs bason / ghost baby in the incubator / TLO – Trading arms with ex-Aussie rules footballer / I have a thing for those fleshy parts under the nostrils / Russian coconut / there are no coconuts in the Soviet Union (or indeed in the Democratic Republic of Yugoslavia) / room temperature corpse / fairground witchdoctor (all change) / wanker on the moon/ my father-in-law’s flat stinks of acid / woops..i dropped some acid / men on speed running around the city waving little home-made flags /we sat on the wall and waved flags from countries that don’t actually exist / / we put grandpops back in the coffin and headed off for the brothel /there are too many brothels in Sweden (I like sex) / death in Ikea/went to lunch with the two Kims / my animalistic behaviour most certainly will be tolerated when I move to the zoo/ / Indigo king eating apples in a virtual reality cocoon in space/ you won’t mind if I piss on your daughter’s head, will you? / perfumed anus / the rejected chutney will make a decent present for that woman who works in admin / a bag of bones is not a suitable gift for a ten year old lad /list of brothers I have in Sweden / it’s not unusual to get a bland haircut these days/we dunked the witch in the swimming pool (and she got chlorine in her mouth) / sniffing ‘round the graveyard on Tuesday night / Wednesday morning scabs / prancing around the graveyard in my best luxury slippers/ luxury helminth / bonus DNA /did you realise you have some poo poo on your eyelids? / burnt eyelids of Jack Duckworth / I tried on Jack Duckworth’s glasses for a laugh/ donated fingers/ donated corpse/walrus gum Murphy / gummy men in sweet shops / esoteric pussy /what is your duck worth? / I took my 88 year old girlfriend to the antiques fair (to try and find some pearl ear rings which once belonged to her boyfriend) / cats in the sand, smoking cigarettes and drinking white rum / I saw my boyfriend scratching away at the ceiling/ disturbed by the sight of children in adult’s jackets/smoking cigarettes with a cowboy’s uncle / dying in the bath tub / stroke my pet rat, he might not bite!) keep your eye on the cuckoo / the duck that refused to fly. / I spent most of my lunch break unspooling my uncle’s ‘Kid Giles and the Filthy Five’ cassette / I forgot to attend my girlfriend’s funeral as I was busy combing my hair / the jazz / the sweet, yet acerbic, taste of an adult male’s sweat / I too k a little bag of eyeballs and handed them out to the hungry children/ incision/all from leftover biscuits and then had another look at my photo of Jandek growing a beard . / the day Christ blinked on the cross for the last time + the day Jandek grew a beard / I placed my hand back in my glove and made my way to the torture chamber / ..and this is where thousands of Japanese tourists / only 3 people have ever seen my grandfather’s ancient manuscripts .. and I am not one of ‘em / dirty hair on supermodel/we were pulled down into the swamp and it felt kinda nice / my beautifully deformed fingers/ we sent the troubled children to the moon / Satan in the back window of bus (jazz tiller)/I opened my bedroom curtains to find seven teenaged girls torturing some shoes in my back garden / my penis is the centre of the universe/we moved the couch to find a hole in the floor- in this hole was a wooden box..we opened the wooden box to find ten ‘Was Not Was’ audio cassettes-with inlay cards intact / I felt my teeth and realised that I was still awake (in my dreams my teeth feel soft) / I repeated ‘'the weasel under the cocktail cabinet’ over and over again/the blind alphabet / summer string/I touched my eyeball and realised I was asleep (my eyeball felt very different to how it does when one is awake)/my breath is olid because I just ate a corpse / sugar on my toto /anorexic breath / death of a good salesman (person)/ before performing oral sex on my wife., I always coat her vagina in sugar to take away the rank taste / sugar on my penis /Maxwell’s demon / one hand gesture at a time, Simeon / Magazine is dying / sugar toe/ghosts in the attic / would you loan me your shark? / I borrowed your shark / Welsh guilt – I built a house in the night with no light to aid me / Cuthbert’s blood ran all over the teenager’s new plimsolls (which were azure blue)/Nick got fixed (in the morning)/ Sweet rustling sound at 04:00AM /lonely little ghost / why am I not alone? / lonesome portent (I nailed my thesis to the pool hall wall)/I painted your fingers so they matched your bloody maw / secret piss / secret Jackson/ crabs for Jesus / got to keep my toes in my sandal./sexy cabbage / Cabbage Patch Bitches (awfully unkempt secret haircut)/burping duck / this one’s for you, Jesus/them Irish teeth / I forgot my teeth, Geoff/bull in the back of a car / Georgian fit / dentist’s breath / the dentist opened his mouth to reveal a set of rotting teeth/Trevor’s beautiful bruise / pencil-thin teeth /garnished teeth / Betty and the plump children of New Town (cake shop on every corner)/cowboy bones / mental sting/as you make your way down the corridor you will hear some splendid pipe organ music. Please feel free to take and make notes in your note pad / skimming the cream off / I wiped the cream from my mouth and shaved off my girlfriend’s ginger eyebrows / I hate ginger monkeys/we want shopping for walrus bones/ these Irish teeth of mine/Billy the kitten / tree toe jazz LP / I spend most of my free time scrutinising the private life of French pop star (who shall remain nameless ) ./ king’s finger/ medieval traffic cop / I died in the soup queue / ‘Soup Kitchen Blues’ by Fred Atlas and the Killers / chicken orchestra – Bald Bodkin / we covered the prison wall with photos of deformed old men from the countryside / feverish pash (me pash, you idol) / Billy the King Book 01 / shadow of the horrible dog / villager’s fingers/ thumb, fingers and penis / I prefer the off cuts, momma / momma in the shark –infested swimming pool / the Christian piss artist / daddy was a conchologist (yes he was) / pig looks so ugly in its pyjamas / days off from hell / feeling guilty on the last train home / disco bones/the boy with the cardboard bones/ my cardboard features / came to see the Lesbians of Dusseldorf / harmless death / I’m jealous of the chump (for he receives a great deal of sympathy from girls) / the furry toes of Jesus Christ/I will need seven orphans and a bag of turtle’s tear drops / orphan skin / last of the peanuts / Grade A punk / a temporary flirtation with the French dentist / sometimes the finger nails take on a life of their own / juicy Tuesday /boys with their backs to the circus / pilgrim in the attic / the day god said ‘hi, boys’ (in a fruity accent) / grotto baby (grotty baby?) / purple visions / we locked the fat kid away to stop him from gormandising everyone else’s dinner / my favourite cock / the clean feet police/ unbandaged my head and proceeded to make love to my new girlfriend for only the third time/ winter robots / library fish/ Benny Baloo failed to acknowledge the heartfelt cries from his mother-figure / mother-hugging figure / Conan’s hairline / last of the last to ask for advice / wanker on the moon / Pessimistic pipes / school yard meat / men who wear their gloves indoors / secrets of the bingo hall / clandestine bingo / rail meat / men on the railway tracks / the secret graveyard / clean your teeth before dinner, Nigel /
I am the street 'Your Girl Smells Chung When She Wears Dior' /armchair secrets (catchment area fools) / I took out my teeth one-by-one and laid them out in a neat row on my sister’s plastic dining room table/ uncle Alice and the black storm / African past-time/ American memories / I fell in love with the lesbian / nothing to see – hey man,. It’s a talking book case / dead fish on thumping ground / the shrinking cat / your pussy is too big to fit thru my door flap / admiring Dali’s yellow skin / why was Salvador Dali’s skin so yellow? / the Yellow Dali / tea with a queen (bitch’s sugar) / life + times of the swamp dog / doctor’s fingernails / walrus in Woolworths / curly-haired killer / fruit balloon / I copied Jandek’s diet (or at least, what I thought it might be) / kangaroo jewels / I should never have left the bed, Jacamino Stephen / my heart beats for the slave dog / pensive teeth / the day they took his second head away (to be studied by young men in white lab coats)// prison of teeth / my sister’s deformed teeth prevented her getting a job as a top model / my grandfather refused to speak in anything but dead languages / nosejob from 18th cent. / the presence of woodpecker pants dated the movie / cuckoo germ / why would anybody want to kill the pain ? / painful roots /my new girlfriend looks like Larry David / who told Larry David to avoid Biblical Meat.Com?? / I overheard a conversation between a painter and a baker.. it was about absolutely nothing / could I borrow your woman’s teeth? / Richard got lost in the cardboard jungle / African mathematics / I actually took pride in being the shortest boy on Mars / Larry David became the 99th person to visit WWW.BIBLICALMEAT.BLOGPSOT.COM // radishes falling from the moist night sky/edible maps / Anthony Wang and the Japanese darlings/ Vietnamese treasure trove / hospital chocolate./ the flags they were waving reminded me of my uncle’s novelty underpants / Jewish people in the gentile sweet shop / rain baby cometh soon sunshine-infused morning / we wrapped the baby in tin-foil and sealed him in a small oak box / my main ambition in life is to climb in Jeff Goldblum’s teleportation machine with a monkey/ thousand pounds was not nearly enough to tempt me down from the egg tree (where I was attempting to collect the fabled golden egg of the egg tree)/temporary death / apples in mono/are you dumping me because of my unsightly coconut teeth? / but, Mary, I can see your teeth and your penis! / you could not tempt me to come down from the egg tree..not with an offer of all the money in China/pineapples of jazz / everybody needs a smack in the balls every now and then / everyone needs to sniff their own fingers from time to time / I am in love with a girl with very blotchy skin/ ate my dinner in my fish-net stockings / he bit my sack with his middle-aged teeth / medium aged doctor’s paws / memorable lines from the 3rd worst movie of the year / I sat around and thought about my dead girlfriend whilst preparing a beautiful meal of spatchcock and fries/ / tennis ball teeth / inside the mind of a long-dead scholar /nice little Korean keister behind the curtains / Janice and the dead flags of Europa / Polish perm / got my hair permed in Portugal (all dagos have a perm , daddy) / permanent eyelids / I started to weep during the second performance by the signing priest / heinous valves/tight-fitting shorts on a Yank / joy of being evil / I traded my pea-green curtains for a bag of fella’s hats / roman daddy the god of the Fens / perfunctory attempt at removing the mould from your nephew’s cheese and ham sandwich / boy with the plastic tonsils / Russian grin / Joe-Beth Hancock and Nigerian shoe saleswoman / Ian loves to look at the passing motorists / dreamy boy in yr 2000 / stared for a while at the egg advertisement poster (I had nothing better to do)/ drunk poet inside sugar tin / society of cranky Indians/ we are not governors /oblong fox /shrugging hillbilly/grinning baby at End Times / shrugging hillbilly rubs dog head/ the subjugation of Daddy Kodiak / rocker’s delight in yr 2000 / taking photos of Kodiak Bears with my Polaroid camera / farmer’s cock / hillbilly incision /lick my wound, sugar imp/ punk dynamite/ I fell in love with da runt o’ da litta /the Korean immigrants were standing in a line waiting to kiss my uncle’s lucky naked keister / king of black imagination /nigrescent garden/ bachelor’s armpits /cuckoo king/ vanishing actors with surnames which they took from deceased rock stars (i.e. ‘Pitt’) / come home and create a new universe / unbridled movement of spastic Alan / Pakistani armistice / the king walked around the town square displaying his impressive guns/ the old geezer sat in his easy chair thinking about what his wife’s tits looked like in the 1920s / nobody loves a boastful astronaut (oh, I have been to the moon, and you ain’t) .. quick thinking emu.. hot emu/when did E.T. grow those massive man-boobs? / air tastes so nice when you’ve been locked in a box for 3.5 yrs / well-drilled ogre/ gummy zombies are harmless enough / Stewart Cliff is the king of coconuts (humid kids drinking koala milk down cheap back alley)/ I’m so humid - olid lake babies/ lummock prancing around in his step-mom’s blouse /stuck in traffic with a man who thinks he is the King of Christmas / ‘let me stroke my donkey in peace’..or words to that effect / a supermodel wiggling her arse at a chimp who has been tasked with re-building the king for the chimp’s hut (which was destroyed during a very powerful tropical storm) / dried-out chimps litter the arid racing course/I live inside a bastard’s imagination /drinking soup with ginger Marvyn and the sexy matron (check my pulse.. TN) / superjazz group the Night Owls and my 12 ex girlfriends/ bleeding from without(?) / naked men on the mountain ./ shaving your teeth before breakfast/men who live in fish tanks and wear water-friendly chin straps / Marmaduke and the Medusa (and mermaid too) / foster the Top Cat / my pink eye is itching like mad / I whiled away a few hours with some Belgian tourist and the French actor whose name I cannot remember / Bulgarian Lesbians in the Opera House / calescent belly of couch bachelor / sometimes my stubble grows into something resembling a beard/ my best friend asked to be buried in patent leather shoes with a mummified cat / bring on Satan/
your cologne reminds me of a vampire’s bad breath / kinky inclination / is it really necessary to paint eyeballs onto your eyelids?
a strong stomach for sanguine-coated sports fights / candy ape and I / dogs are prisoners / another White House sumph/the Powder Wars (ridged deity) / garlic breath turned me on / temporary dog (machine) / I sang you a sweet lament last night, whilst killing the baby/my crusty baby /Little baby Crust Pie/corpse on the door step / grunge pie (Courtney’s pie)/hippo tits / coffin doll / summer shines on the bloated corpse of Waldorf Odeon / men with flies in their beards (will not be permitted to eat in our restaurant) / tropical dog / satchel full of moulded Buddha effigies moulded from a rare type of clay /evicted from the torture chamber / torture chamber blues/talentless egg / fish market babes of the fish market / Puff the Magnetic Dragon (oh how I love them magnetic dragons) / blistered fingers of Helio Jackson/ ancient crust / modern tits / gallery of the damned / doomed truckers/tripping in the mausoleum / grandma’s drugs/the devil has big bulging eyes that look like tennis balls (except that they are red, not yellow) /building biceps of King Daddy / Bingo Lungs and Crusher the Dog Destroyer / king of the bad teeth / stroked a cat’s chin (do cats have chins?) / underneath the crumbling moon / the cowboy removed his uniform and sat down at the drum / childhood drummer / honky tonk passion –not tonight, lover boy /passion flower- wolf’s teeth / why the Gillespie Puff? / why the long cock/ / fat moon cubes / people who use computers are dumb / inclined to wear hats at jaunty angles / the summer smells put me off my chicken rib lunch/field of whistling donkeys/ why are donkeys grey-coloured?/pregnant men with beards / standing around staring at the passing Egyptian-looking girls / they erroneously put Quentin Tarantino into quarantine / you love your Victorian moustache, even though it makes you look frightening to children / this beard makes me look like a bread-winner / went to the museum to see a photograph of the world’s first ever sandwich (Gentle Ben and his young freckled pal catching a ride on an Argossy in the filthy old river) /circus perfumer on the moon/ I cleaned my teeth and then polished my boots with the rag I borrowed from Trevor / they made me give up my Eraserhead baby / the vulgar cassettes / wiped my father’s precious recording o ‘Kid Spoon and the Olive Worm’ live from Düsseldorf Shit Hole / eyes of string / I don’t love your beard.. it looks too hairy to be a human baby, dear / daughters of tumbleweed (cassette copy) / Arab in space / I am sweet, you are not - you blasted perfume into my eyes.. you bastard/Dutch plastic men / arse crack addicts / Spanish death/ big rubber-faced children / Siamese on ice /Teutonic union /arsehole breath/ nihilist inside modern society/ traffic Rambo / cupid’s oil /wore my poofter hat to my sister’s wedding/ elastic livelihood/ inside crap opportunity / I am in love with a 19 year-old terrorist/ the fields of Kevin / long glass of egg yolk for Rambo please / pulse on a zombie / deranged fraggle/ sweet death lipstick/ lipstick mogul/still pissed that I never saw Josh T Pearson (Christopher Gilbert is Biblical Meta- hungry in the butcher shop) / I value your opinion, but it’s quiet probably a heap of muck (fashionable footwear of the 18-19th cents. / I’m in love with my wife’s illicit lover / how come I look so good after being beaten to a pulp? / how come I felt so good after being beaten to a pulp ? / I counted my fingers in London
I enjoy water sports, bingo and crushing demons / women’s curse / I curse the day I met the posh explorer /Dali’s skin was blistered and raw / the summer shave /hospital pie / hospital pie (PE teacher is sexy)/ Louise’s germs (all over my hands) /curtain sperm / welcome to the last trick pony of Hollow Year Zero/ I want to break Lucifer’s moral / opened the expired can of luncheon meat and promptly puked mah guts up / Janitor’s secret mixture./German meals / Emma’s breath/me and Rag Time Willy talking about horses and eating peanuts / all through the night I looked into your nostrils/institute for the dead/ modelled on the corpse/woke up with dried cornmeal all over my maw (and a half-drunk cappuccino in my paw) / keep killing them cats, brother/Russian dandy taking his little dog out in the park / green eyes of David Hoikk/ honorary gay / the masticating cuckoo (MWC)/Colombian earthworm jazz ledger – we campaigned to get Prince kicked out of the country (too sexy) / half a sex gland on my lunch plate/milky shadows / American access in Hong Kong/the temp drummer died after eating the eggs that we left out for the stray cats / page 486 Spike Milligan chin beard Dead Jesus (I love you, sweet Inuit)/ Eskimo glue / horse paddling in the swamp/ I soaked myself at the behest of Queen Willy / jazz banquet/capsized eyes / in love with the soda jerk / helpless Caesar / Pop Tart Jesus / lips on the HM Vee Vee / I took out my bilbo and sliced a chunk of meat from the fetid chicken (which had been roasted earlier that morning) – little starfish in my pocket box/ Chinese farceur / temporary nipples/ sexual incision – the artist is never satisfied / slappy sloppy goat (A) / sold to the highest Rasta / I wanted to see you but I think you were with your long-dead dogs/John Doe and I /freshly-painted love box / horse drawings / prison babies / Billy Parker and the Dead Lab Rats / coming on a toad stool at 4.45am / filthy treasure box / the babies whom grow on the moon/we put all the rockers in one hole and all the punks in another (corned beef sandwiches was all we ever ate in the 90s) / student tears / oh oh tainted meat / unpacked my suitcase and had a nice shit / rope of sand/ Dixon Gulliver’s beautifully gloved fingers / childhood teeth /childhood rant/solid state Shirley / girls of NYC falling from sky (no not) / he bust his precious teeth on hard tack and momma’s over-baked biscuits/ shied away from the gummy chimp (on the space trip with men who think that other people cannot see them) / Siamese eyeballs / Korean drum solo / they arr4ested your teeth /silver gobs of alien species (newly discovered)/we found Marilyn (AKA ‘The Sugar Baby’) floating face-down in the swimming pool, on my sister’s lilo / hey you, why did you punch the clock? / ‘try a cock’ I suggested to Elton John / I found John in bed with a size 10 fist / dancing to radio static (yeah it’s 1998) / closet sexist in the cupboard /
I refuse to acknowledge that my ex girlfriend was a fink for the US government / it’s time to switch off the world / too many kids in the kitchen / kitchen sex / Jailhouse Jesus /Lesbian book keeper / Alsatian gland / kids smoking pipes in playgrounds/
we discovered the fossilised remains of Christ (and the Scotsman wouldn’t let us sell them on E-Bay) / deleted echo
guilty of standing too close to another man / a small bottle of hotel shampoo which was once partially used by Black Rooty
Elvis loved to be caressed with gloved fingers / I dream of capital punishment / a middy a day makes the horse run faster
all kids love factory-produced pancakes / loggoreah is very common amongst the e’d-up. / in the grip of a rather strong gorilla
we constructed a fence from Michelin Man’s bones / chunky coincidence / I recall when Lauren Bacall could recall nothing
we adjudge that 90 per cent of our fathers will be gone by the time we have finished the stew / bucolic gabba / having secret affairs with plump women called ‘Deborah’ and or ‘Kathleen’ / big fat man screwing himself onto the side of a building / muff banquet / bag of muffins for the good kids/fair-weather funeral attendee / public barf /I’m not a big fan of organized grief / I like the way Harris talked to me as an equal/perfumed bones / your father told me he was the King of Bones / baby Jesus is asleep in the back of the van / I smeared tomato paste on my sister’s breasts / we stroked the keys gently, as if they were newborn kittens / I smashed my fist into the cucumber and then stuck my penis in the craft fair / dinner, dance and a dust-up / sexist playing the mouth organ / ignored by the student protest group / ignorant kitten (button my shirt)/on the announcement of the end of the world, I un-buttoned my shirt and grabbed the nearest screaming girl /teenage cash hoss / tens tone Jesus / childish teeth / Deborah’s breath (smelt like sweets) / public house candy / bearded Dracula / screaming peanut / pink muskrat – daydream teeth / I took the hand of the screaming French girl /
the milieu of the prison yard made us feel queasy, yet giddy with happiness and delirium / handsome butcher
the day Gary
the graveyard was littered with Christmas cards and umbles / we spent Christmas Day in the butcher’s shop
we just found the mendicant’s missing teeth; so instead of giving him a food hamper we simply handed him his noshers) / propinquity to death marcher(s) / chubby children should be locked up indoors / yes, I will do it..but only if you give me one of those beautiful hand-painted eggs that you keep in your desk drawer / I should never have shaved off your beard, sweet grandma/I flashed my tit at the passing pastor / sometimes I wish my feet smelt slightly nicer/why do people have babies and then insist on dressing them in clothes that are either ill-fitting or the wrong color /my skin feels like it belongs to someone else/ Chinese beards / monochrome tits/Chinese baboon /bell-end of the beast / Terry Wogan taught me to button up my coat properly / fish from the North/my mother is proud to be lesbian/my wife told me that she saw a penis in the gymnasium / my pink fluffy nostrils are turning off my lover/Booker’s secret dream/ Team secret/my nose dreamt of snot and bogies / cuckoo secret/aniseed sheet / aware of the impending death of Hattie Jacques/
I decided to ignore the flagrant whims of Aneeda Sheet and Heidi Drahgzqueeg / they’re known as the German Biscuits
we hunkered down and readied ourselves for the flesh / Sepp Blatter Puss / I want Jesus to love me more
the more we tried to look like we were sleeping the more we actually looked like we were walking around eating peanuts and drinking tea / Chinese hemorrhage (in Pakistan
I took my ‘Floating Bear’ cassette and wrapped it up to give to my uncle as a Christmas gift
no heavy petting in indoor swimming pool (light petting is OK) / urban Jesus / do astronauts have tails?
DNA cowboys (wipe your chops after eating gruel) / urban teeth / suburban teeth / Ethiopian shoe gazer
actually, my son is34 years older than my father / weened off girls / my urbane landlord / joy of the hexx
wipe the shit off your teeth before meeting Queen (- F Mercury) / Patients reggae groups / hungry for the war
I overheard my girlfriend’s father whistling ‘Being a Girl’ by 90s English group ‘Mansun’ / the LP sleeve cover of the new ‘My Bloody Valentine’ LP depicts a lioness being eaten by a much bigger lioness / lioness in my bedsit/
‘The Killer’s' are my 885th favorite English group from the period 1999-2006 / Death by heavy eye 1988-89
on the bus home today I had to tolerate a 44 year old man whistling the entire sophomore LP by English group ‘The Killers’ from start to finish (excluding track 06.. this was aborted as he could not get the tune right)
propitiate the death row inmate by telling him his soul will be freed / freedom hugs
upon entering Hades I requested Charles Manson’s head on a plate and a used copy of ‘Dorian Gray’ by Oscar Wilde / Hade Iraqi shower –like a gift from Beelzebub / clean-shaven women / I love sexy postcards
lover’s breath (strange journey from The Bronx) / early morning hand job interrupted by French camisade / rotten Dame (in Dutch mausoleum) /French tears (crying Frenchman in my daddy’s shed) / playdough tomb / George Brent and the timeless cannibals / African mathematics / Jezebel got dead/the progressive killer/ my saint just told me he was leaving town tonite/ German in Africa/ I left Africa and imemdiatley wanted to go back / Rotterdam eyebrows. / I touched you in the morning/
it’s 3.30 in the morning and we are wiping the snot from our noses in Rotterdam / trenchant poems should be written in blood/ timeless hand jobs / I am the vanguard of the riot squid / a time to reflect on the riots of the past 2 days/I’ve always had a fondness for, what I perceive to be, mechanical culture / difference between a dog and a dead dog / come to the moon..there is no cat shit on the moon / going back to stereo moon/I wish I was a wall / sometimes I see your knee caps and I just want to be your lover/ jungle of teeth
the model Christ (made me weep tears of joy) / sensual hemorrhage / sexy voices – item riot (Italian eyebrows)
put down your ear trumpet and pretend that you can hear the Voodoo Jazz / credit card babies
the happiness of post-hopday horses / relic baby never felt so fuzzy or warm etc. / perfumed statue
zombie with a sexy voice / Frogeye Art – Burt Yvette / I admire my captain’s beard more than yours
I walked up to Christ and asked him, direct to his face, why he spent so long in sandals? / chunky mad men
England is only full of angry ugly little men /you don’t have to be alive to be passionate / debit card baby / baby with no teeth can’t eat his chop properly (would someone mash it up for him) / Dracula has a well sexy voice/ spraying deodorant on a zombie/perfumed bomb / /mattress amnesty / yob on the mattress /outside with you and me/ perfumed umbles / dead peach/dead ogre looking for empty gas canisters / ancient tits/ cheering for the bad guys / hippy eggs / rambling corpse / voice ink / sonic incision / organic nudes / operational fudge/ young oracle /umbrella jazz/murdered umbrella dead music ancient nudes / mother’s umbrella / dancing priest /inside Simon/ sex belly / trumpet onion /naked insects/ crap jackets/ onion for Nancy/ egg sex / market brains / voodoo stew / junk oracle/ king emu/ fuzzy otter /outside tits /
hanging ‘round the carnival entrance with a peach in one hand and a small bronze effigy of a skull in the other
iconolatry is very prevalent in towns where folks have no language /dead eyes of Mud Man
Earth died screaming / I woke up the corpse / his batteries fell out and he toppled over like a dead tree
sausage toy underwear party / we let the monkey drive all the way to Peach Town
…I would liken it to a delicate, fragile bauble being caressed by a mesmerized Cro-Magnon. / speaking on speed / missing eighth / the sensual engine / crying rats / weeping rat orchestra / orchestral maggots / absinthe gums / ‘I’m here’ she cried as she finally stepped onto the surface of the moon /homosexual numbers / ornery nannies / oblong remains/karate ink /naked gangs at war/ bucket of luck / bones in glue walrus egg emu king episodic nuclear death / smells like eyes / king of filth /asleep at half past three in the morning / make my words sound better, father / king’s eggs /young Pakistani in the city/amazing death / deadly opera/ underground bumph/ cans open for Judah / rancid pillow /sexual energy of a corpse / shed killer / Inside Amarillo m you / take your pants off and go join in, Cecil / my mother always told me to look good in the morning/I traded the Aztec treasures for ten action movie DVDs / video cassettes on the moon/ravonism now / perfumed echo / ancient coconuts / hatless and fantastic / inside my poetry / rat egg /angsty naked girls/ bulldog tits / pregnant peach / dust panther /warming up for the orgy / missing bones/my sister was involved in a plane crash but her only injury was slightly damaged eyebrow / killing your teeth with pop ‘n’ candy / exciting doom / the jazz solo made Mr X cry with joy/ porn rag / energetic sex skinned Indian velvet emu weird operation lovely fingers / nervous pimp / arrive naked/empty vessels / eggs have no rights / gay zebra/ pancake ink/ moppet pump / dead man’s ink/ religious tits /ominous moustache/emu of the east / Broderick was my lover (for a few mins)/
the returning killers were greeted by a triumphant reverie and a banquet of cold meats and ale / devil in the sunrise / modern body
men in zoos who are pondering if they would rather pet the animals or eat ‘em / my Christian sister is a man-eater
hocking your grandmother’s WW2 medals in Egyptian bazaar / F*** on / a vast collection of foreign moustaches
never trust the man with a pudding bowl haircut / men who sit and look out of the window for ‘enjoyment’
he left his trinkets and gewgaws in the rusty old bath tub ./ little felt people that get all itchy before bed time
lugubrious sixth-formers wearing lots of heavy eye make up and moaning about ‘stuff’ / summer with zombie/never trust a man whose shoes are on back-to-front / Siamese Willy/deformed dog walking around town, wearing a mask to hide his unfortunate deformity / I rolled in the mud with the wicked kids/she bruised her bones in the morning / morning boner is de rigueur, Nelson/
ad interim I will stew some peaches for the day labourers / YYY Yes I will go to London and buy some hair /little girl eating an egg / perfumed little egg/have you ever tried on a horse’s shoe / I killed your lover, and I felt zero remorse/
we found the long-haired teen in a rusty bath, eating a hero sandwich (with extra pickle) / the much-lamented death of Joy Horse
have you tried riding a horse with a boner? / I found the forgotten drill instructor sitting in a bedsit eating stewed peaches
it’s funny to think that folks like Homer, Plato and Socrates were actually corporeal flesh and blood men, not just bronze statues.
the small feral boy who only ate mushrooms and tree bark / hideous substances found on moon / cuckoo’s moustache
we found Sweet Colleen in bed with the Blind Cowboys / I get most of my good ideas whilst watching TV at 3.00am
we coalesced over the death of the bunny women / the yellow bone movies. / the woodsman gave me a gift of a cured ballbag
tick off my name, I have no underwear to give you. / Stuart is a good name for a dog / beautiful zombie / Cubist manhood
little man hovering above the space station / deserted lovers bones / scattered in space / is there anyone left in the UK
page 453 detailed the meeting between Duke Ellington and Daddy Thumb-Sucker/there goes Old Bulb Head (Scouse rashers)
we were handed little cups of blood by the evil priest / most of the under-40s were touched in some way by the Harridan
I think we have listened to the curly-haired men talk about peanut butter art for quite long enough / office truffles / my hair is curly on the inside / I took out my biro and scrawled the words ‘fish’ ‘dynamite’ and ‘screwball’ on my sister’s napkin / AKA Rocky
maybe it was a bad idea to ruffle the Chinese lad’s hair / penis from heaven / making fun of Dracula was a bad idea
Asian incision / I just got back with Sugar Man / I took my hat off and pretended to be a girl / going to bed with the Übermensch
Popeye has, like most muscle men, a tiny penis / was spinach a metaphor for steroids? / bullied by infant terrorist /I’m rather fond of playing violent video games with my teenage wife / sometimes the salt from your skin tastes way too bitter/toe buffet / making the kids aware of Disney Channel’s savage underbelly / I twisted my features to look more like that bloke who pops up at 4.15am on Channel X(X) / 2. harmless killer / sometimes the rain is like acid/the owl gave three hoots upon hearing the news that his uncle had died /blind dog on the mattress / swimming in the ocean with a dead baby / I fished out my old soccer boots and handed them to the Latvian child/Black Eye Orchestra / vulgar fudge/ whispering dog / get rid of that salad..and bring me the meat/ my girlfriend challenged me to find a better pair of tits than hers / I swapped my girlfriend’s notebook for a can of pineapple chunks / I woke up to find myself asleep next to a Stuckist and his annoying slanty-mouthed bird / yes, I am silently contemplating the future of space-chimps (the bird with the heavy eyes) / I find the Muppets a touch too vulgar /Maude Hornblower diary entry 15th March 1963 – ‘today I, Maude Hornblower, ate some treacle. I also did a little dance to entertain myself. Oh, and I also had a hot bath and did some heroin. Overall, a really good day.’ / having sex with strange women who might or might not be your sisters / partif gonzo/my friend will be late-his helicopter is stuck in traffic /cash for unwanted goblins/Jewish eyelids / we tasted a piece of scum which had been scraped off the sidecar/my father is not a dentist / Australians won’t eat salad, but they do dig vegetable-based spreads (on their big chunks of bread) / I placed some fresh offal on my sister’s bedroom dresser in the hope she would happily discover it before her boyfriend arrived / party of none/extra-terrestrial pigs / my girlfriend’s eyeballs are too heavy fop her head/here is a list of the cassettes I bought from ‘Andy’s Records’ in King’s Lynn today:- ‘Asian Werewolf’ by Barry Shoulders and the Coin-Tossing Humanoids; ‘Gorilla on my Doorstep’ by Fred Jugs and the Milky Dracula; ‘Milk-White Lips’ by Harry Ping and the Well-dressed Devils / shaved off my moustache before meeting up with m dead ex-wife’s brother-in-law / I didn’t expect to be served clams for breakfast / dirty memories are my favourite /
keep your nose above sea level, Amos / floating Korean ghosts disturbed our evening / Asian spangles / weird sunrise
I only eat the following victuals: - aubergines / curried lamb and or goat / I’m too fat to be a Sumo Wrestler . / 990 my day off
adorable children floating around the drop-in centre / I walked out of Aberdeen
tawdry dogs of Iran and Iraq / I dyed my hair before the morning sermon / men with bricks in their hands /the German doctor bit off his thumb nails and spat them out at the passing children / school children on first trip to the moon/
we removed the marble eyeballs and threw the flesh to the old doctors / my mother bought me a nice panther for Xmas present
the farm was ran by a group of babies with combined intellect of a bright man / hospital goblin / promising black out
the flimsiest skeleton in UK
the furriest man who ever lived / we bonded over a massive vat of onion gravy / was that in ’87, Kid Audrey?
art for death’s sake. / Death smiled as the young lad fetched him some oily fish for his supper / Bi-sexual muzzy
Daddy Flash+ White Audrey in the new movie b Cobb Connors (movie title TBD) / dead anoraks / Bill Murray perfected himself in a kind of transmigration of the soul..but did we prefer him how he was at the start (i.e. grouchy, smug, self-opinionated etc.) / Peter Pan was (is!) on loop / Peter and the lazy dragoon / Leopold Weiss taught me most everything I know
waltzing hillbilly in the corner of my living room / lack of probity among tall women in CA / dead anorak club
‘The Magnetic Fields’ inspired me to indulge in some automatic writing; the first fruits of this endeavour were as follows..'cow pats in the field of my dreams, a sausage a day will keep me feeling hungry. Momma never let the rats boil on the stove by themselves’. / no, this isn’t that, harridan! / death breakfast / Crispin Glover is my aunty / children of the bomb shelter/ German incisor / Teutonic paradise/is it an offensive to close your eyes when shown photos from the 1st hot war/ / riddled with lemons and other yellow vittles / lost in the Land of Fog / roomy coffin / cardboard orchestra / fainéant’s day on /
Autojournal volume 63:- ‘terrific’ I thought, as the bombs started to fall on the human zoo / gay back-pocket / hats on kids
I just found the missing gorilla in my bike shed / I have a lovely collection of bombs that never went off / fey dogs of Berlin
we couldn’t go and get a burrito as we were ‘snowed in’ / annals of history of fungus manipulation / torn eBay strings
we rounded up the leftover crew from Crow Zero and made Crow Zero II / don’t feed the humanoid / abnormal feet of porno star/I cannot imagine hoe bad it must be to be strung up by your bulla / my hands smell of parachute juice / spastic about town / ok, it is time to faint / queen of dreams / mumbled somethin’ about ‘going fishing with Gary’/tooth opera/ stunned by the arrival of King Biscuit/baked Alaskan / I abandoned the Hot Girl and went back to Fat Janice / I am that man you heard about who refuses to eat tomatoes / title of Radiohead’s new cassette is either 'Foreign Bruiser’ or ‘Take a Piss, Clive Woodward’ /
Suicidal anorak-wearing porn star / horses of porn / the porn horse came to say ‘deleted by Christian tweeter’
Danny Quid never did watch a movie all the way through / ex-Terminator (now shop assistant) / Barry Black’s chubby kids/dirty hands of kid / I am not sexist..i just love women better than men is all / the joy of being a horse / my grandfather’s pens / how to shave like a man /be a man like Werner / bachelor’s breath / I tried to remove the lipstick, but to no avail / men with those concrete shoulders / now we see that Paul panther was right to eat those babies/ feverish Sunday - Uncle Mike got a bad fever / sexists Sunday / motorbike in my mouth / Michael and the posh biscuits/I rejected the advances of the very ugly lad (afraid of the horse pit) / tax pit (you know Chris-the guy who resembles an 80s Christ) / I like to stay on the fringes of the cool haircut community / brigade of lepers/active teeth / Bud Rich and the Killed Cats / pack-up jazz / I am very thankful for you for giving me the chance to hear the formerly unbearable ‘Pink Gravy Jazz Group’ / /pink gravy / mothers and fathers switching sides/ John Ajax declared himself ‘Ambassador for the Dead’ / secret blow jobs in scummy back streets (in what sued to be a really nice neighbourhood)/Jenny Channel - hmm..that was a good song / tried to persuade Buddy Rich to play the drums in my new skiffle group (he refused on the grounds of being permanently stoned on wonderful Moroccan hashish) / /if I spunk on an even number I go to France, if I spunk on an odd number I stay home with the Villagers / fragrant bitches on bus./missed out on my weekly low job / spotted a man in a space suit looking for his kitten/
Billy, I want you to hunker down and look out for Mini Kid / this song reminds me of the time I ate all the pasta / I made a little fence from the unused scarecrow bones / second-hand cassette copy of ‘Janitor’s Finger’ by ‘Headless Corpse’ /
we followed the fat boy’s footprints and discovered he had absconded to the nearest fast food burger outlet / vulgate handjob
I quickly got out of bed when I realised the woman beside me was, in fact, a big bearded man / my mum adores weirdoes
this way to the arse exhibition / daddy got shirt legs / I never reject obscenity / king of the sniffers (I like sniffing corpses)
the astronaut was blind man / even a session of pelmanism did not help him recall his fabled childhood / childhood dandruff
my mum told me that I was born without eyebrows / I were born with a bone between my teeth/ pink dandruff / Gary Parker's detumescent head / increase the sex, guys / ‘Vulture’s Gash’ vol 01 (feat. Such classics as ‘Gone away with the bird doctor’ and ‘Breedin’ circus freaks ain’t easy (edit)’ / I passed my hand to the disabled doctor’s assistant / I took my ‘New Gods for the Smug’ cassette and placed it on top of the waxwork effigy of Pope Jackie the Jazz Infant’ / I coloured my own teeth in /
The ruler of FDR Congo
I put my teeth on the mantelpiece and went to bed for an hour or so / my Japanese hands / my African aunty / exit philosophies
I neglected to join the humanistic dating agency / I only date Asian body builders / we decorated the kids with beautiful pelages
the chubby kid cowboy came to us ex nihilo / relax, it’s just a Christian /fluff hunter UK / I live in the UK
I live with smog, it’s who I am. / how could you tell I wasn’t a cowboy / Horseboys ride cows / Christian fluff-hunter
the fashion-conscious witch / hunted by Christian / the day all of the dogs bit their owners / B O diaries / chased by lucky devil
a brief history of snoring in the 15th cent. / we filled the cavity with abandoned vacuum cleaners / panting like a sex addict
I love the smell of caravans in the morning / women who are too fat to get through café doors /Christina in the bath tub / my finger smells of jug juice/my new girlfriend was delighted to see that my fingers were extraordinarily chubby / I slid my toes into the gaping wound of the deodorant saleswoman /Goatland contains absolutely no sheep / my breath stinks of Japanese tourists / the keening lamentation of the prisoner woke me up several times last night / if I had wings I would chop the blasted things off / ‘my toe nails are colour coded’ lied the teenage friend of my youngest daughter / I plan to marry when I’m 50 and have an illicit affair when I am 51 / I dipped my deformed thumb into the sugar bowl and then observed my child’s reaction (it was one of both horror and amusement) / my fingers itch and my stomach feels sore..I might go and tug myself of (why not?? – don’t answer that) /
I got a handful of robots to show off to the Japanese girls / Mickey Mouse side order / disco insects / Sideboard Joe is the?
in no way is it lucky to be chased by the Devil / dump the dumb prophet / Mickey Mouse mosque / mosque eat toe / have you noticed how some chimps have humongous arses? / I buried my head in Tessa’s ample breasts /it’s perfectly acceptable to just sit still and not say anything (just don’t tell the children that) / I keep on phoning myself and pretending that I am someone else /
we knew we were in Australia
Carlo, the world’s biggest chimp / terrorist from Devonshire (with a small moustache) / perfumed afros / I am the Billy witch
we noticed that the corpse’s chops were coated in brown sugar / insouciant cowboy feeding some carrots to a derelict hoss
we welcomed the grisette into our psychedelic Winnebago / children’s moustaches / milking cows on the disco floor /Asian miner Asian biscuits / my teeth say yes but my heart says no/ my wife instructed me to put my hands on her sister’s buttocks (she wanted to see if I would become visually aroused by this act) / the creeping dread part 2 / god’s gob (dog’s gob) / we we are The Nanny Goats / why does Future Kid insist on acting so degage?/ I love the way small animals attach themselves to your naked decaying body / graveyard fauna / I sit in the graveyard and make sketches of all the beautiful zombies /
I can taste the future on your lips (and I can smell the past on your breath) / weirdo from the future / Bobby’s on the mattress
oh so now it’s Corpse Cannibalism, is it? / my fist smells of hamburger meat / lop-sided grin of fashion victim / never say yes
at a Salt Chunk Mary concert I met my latest boyfriend’s parents; which seemed weird. / at work, thinkin’ about meat / I sat in the garden of teeth and stuck my tongue in my cavity for a bit / I like the way your fingers twitch when you are givi9ng me a blow job / I kept asking myself ‘why does your finger smell of lemon?’..i never received an answer / how dare you accuse me of not liking opera music / my breath stinks of ordure, Phillip/
tropical yobs / I fell an urgent desire to comb my moustaches / living inside a gorilla’s ball bag / horse-drawn diagram
fall out of love with lion / maybe I am wearing lipstick / Cave baby is bound to freak most everyone out
pech breathing indicated he may have been running away from his wife / gorilla’s wife
a list of British anomalous deaths from 2010-2020 / curried Albion / bird brain bath bird bath / ha ha festival
bathetic prose of the slum-dog septuagenarian
in now way am I culpable for the death of hope and reason / Siamese theatre tickets / chin waggers symposium 2010
the keyboard thief / every time the eagle stops eating / the future of happy police state / woke up on the back of the meat wagon
we saved up enough to buy Chinese eggs for the whole family / the golden yrs are making a come-back
expurgate the baby poem / some people think Elvis was an astronaut / lesbian bike rode / peccable children in the cage
I ain’t got the requisite number of nostrils to be part of acceptable society / modern people are thick / robust camels
twisted mouths of the nearly-dead (sad in country) / the tremendous face of zombie / chicken dinner made us ready 4 War
wedding night blues (look what I done gone with my sweet freedom) / women are so shallow on the inside /wedding night blues were levitated by the appearance of my long-dead uncle / I stuck out my tongue in the hope of getting the attention of The Rain Baby (Jazz Gland)/ woken up by the sound of a teenager being sucked into a different time zone / I heard about you Krull..i need more vegetables /children like to see your multi-coloured bones / I took your hand and fed it to the donkey/ modern fog / defective robots of 17th cent. Britain
I was reminded of the twisted maw of Elvis Aaron Presley / the lack of sex drive in an octogenarian
John Terence Manlike Race Hamburger / pumped-up for Xmas dinner / afraid of jazz / dogs of jazz / cat’s moustache/
one day we will allow our children to meet up with the humanoid kids / purple-painted jazz eye / harmless ghost/occult pensioner/
maybe I should avoid eye contact on the gay disco floor / sticking your tongue out when passing rabbis / smoking cack
TFMH – it’s so profound I have to put into an acronym (time baby ) / I was not a selfish American before I came to England
doing nothing with the fathers of modern summer / I just ticked off Madonna’s children / Dennis Quid is sitting alone in his bath tub, dreaming of the days when he was a ‘lady’s man’ / my uncle stripped off to his pants and dived head-first into the dying sea/alone in some salt
the pyramid floated up into orbit and all of the little kids fell about laughing / this film has a slightly Asian bent to it/
man wearing a duffel coat in Egyptian summer sun /bolted yourself in the cushy room. / dead people called ‘Eric’
if our toes itch, maybe we should take off our socks? / newborn baby in a wheelbarrow / plastic tit / Saliva Row/
have you noticed that dogs don’t like jazz / occult pensioner / people who use computers tend to be stupid / public duet jape/
doing absolutely nothing with the father of modern summer / plastic kids make me nervous / the third policeman was my favourite/ video of dead astronaut was 67th most popular on the You Tube web site / nice face, but take a look at her gypsy hands / my fingers smell of manure, dad/Mexican child birth / she slipped off her silk peignoir, to reveal the body of a murder suspect /
he wrapped his tits in cling-film to keep them fresh ‘till morning / he kept all of his precious titflesh wrapped up in the back room/
it might be a good idea to lend your hairy jazz records to the father of modern jazz / gorilla in the mirror
being given elocution lessons by a mendicant / the cat that thought it was a lion / the boy with rubber tonsils /I wheeled out my teeth to proudly show to the Parkinson’s sufferers / John Potato was caught on ‘all 4s’ sniffing around the ugly council estate/ classic vaticide /
I ain’t got the key and I most definitely don’t have time to kick the door down / at 43 he became addicted to Filthy Jazz
I am the girl you found in the abandoned canoe / building atrabilious melodies in the deformed picnic clinic / deformed potato/
she has an apathetic attitude towards Cush
If I stretch out my thoroughly ugly toes, maybe my best friend’s girlfriend will stop thinking about me in ‘that way’
time for silent society to speak up / newborn dogs of Salt Lick City
cuckoo inside some Italian flat bread /is my sexual persuasion to your taste? / the sweet rodents of Death Town
my mum was busy taking down the names of the under-age smokers / 10 ways to spot a humanoid / 10 ways to spot a humanoid
my daughter made friends with the hangman’s children / agoraphobic man in post-apocalyptic wide-open space
parrhesia in the school room / god’s gift to Deadhead Miles / theism makes my feet itch in the morning / Lenny Henry (the garden centre manager, not the comedian) introduced me to the slag that I ended up marrying / I do love you, but your breath smells of heroin / my saggy tits need firming up, Mr. / I love to kneed saggy breasts before breakfast / the one fingered salute told us the Nostril Priest had arrived / jazz for dead owl / igloo ghosts / we polished off the whisky and moved onto the jazz juice (home-brewed, no less)/dog on the carpet / I shan’t reveal myself today mother, I promise /
I just heard a short story about an African princess (who is beautiful) falling into a pit of snakes / lipstick on a snake
we have an exclusive interview with a man who has been falling down a bottomless pit for 16 ½ years./we wrapped up the lost teeth in cotton wool and placed them in the bottom drawer / I drew you a picture of a goat being slaughtered by a teenage Asian lad/
Cubes of hope / we made a delicious tracklement out of the brains of the New Yorkers / low cat / I knew America
Paroxysm sufferers on the 7.15 / what colour is cold ? / freed from a lifetime of finger puppetry / anthrax on the sideboard /butterfly milk / you will remember when I said ‘ahh ahh yeah it’s 1993’ / jar o’ anthrax / the friendly intrusion
oh the acid bubble / Bubba in the caboose/ I like to look at your face whilst eating my chop / tank top-wearing ghosts are funny/blind helicopter/ I prefer women with three lips/I heard a rumour that Sally Jessie Raphael had been killed by a freak (accidentally) / sugar-coated frontal lobe/too energetic for the graver / lady love gravy/tight fist full of teeth / my uncle’s hairy teeth tuned the girls away/ways to enjoy the jungle / jungle pussy/ignore the peanut code / today we skin rabbis/
Seditious acts of ostracised gods / men who take their moustaches really seriously / gay fur costume / the modern love magnet
I just met my first lesbian in Marks and Spencer’s / the lesbian was collated in fur / sweet way of making love to nobody
Skank Head Jackson
‘what we got from warehouse clearance sale (part 01)’ – a small velvet bag once used by Gandhi, a stethoscope covered in rust, a German dictionary with 30% of the pages missing and a stuffed owl was owned by Rolf Harris (the Australian poet and raconteur, not the sketch artist of the same name) / don’t windmills look bloody stupid / Irish smile with eyes on you!! / I just finished a drawing of Shaba Ranks petting a dead kitten / Albatross on the deformed motorway / I found her dead on the abandoned motorway / her knuckles were whiter than a ghost’s face / I wore my best cardigan to the moon / we landed on the moon and promptly shat our pants (I think it was due to the excitement)/minty butterfly. Gary, meet your new boyfriend (his name is Ian)/I always sleep with my tits facing upwards / garlic makes your feet smell nice / abandoned motorway / me and my greasy family are now living on an abandoned Mexican motorway /
three things I observed when walking around NYC on drugs:- a small rodent wearing a top hat, being chased around the streets by an angry-looking man waving a cudgel; the photographer Man Ray being sexually abused by an English sommelier; Gay rights protesters drawing ink moustaches onto heterosexuals / top clap clap happy rat pasta and sauce. / billion dollar breath
it was the sweetest September since records began (with ‘Ancient Jazz Microphone’) / jazz in the water (with buffalo)
posh gay people wearing designer tank tops / we breathed new life into mainstream Bad Art / the abstract bones
perfumed wind / my Norwegian sister told me that she once thought she saw the Kraken, but she possibly didn’t
just because there’s no meat on the bones, doesn’t mean you don’t have to pay for ‘em / why are people silly, mama?
a misologist is usually unhappy in the school house / primitive haircuts of the démodé hangers-on / baby fry-up
there is all of this stuff going on whilst I sit here and wipe the sweat off of my jazz records cuddly corpse / if someone finds my teeth , please hand them into the nearest cop / / pumping new life into bad art/clock donkey/ pumping new life into the decaying art gallery/
we were forced to abandon the needlecraft when confronted by a list of more pressing tasks (i.e. ‘give the baby some bread and milk’) / oh look; it’s another white man / gorilla in the armed forces / Doctor in the tree. / Agency of the damned
trahison des clercs was committed by my once-loved Uncle Samira Gerome / agency of the doomed and damned (yet happy)
I fell in love with the one got all the teeth out of The Thin Lizzy / there are plenty of gorillas in New York City
the lawn was littered with discarded Greek toe nails / incurably vibrant men discard their pyjama bottoms /thin lezzy at the rock and roll concert (wearing a small purple scarf around her waist) / peeping into cuckoo clocks in December 1898 / my father was a weekend cowboy (incorporating Friday Cowboy) / eating fried mushrooms with the girls from the drag show/
everything my new boyfriend does is an attempt to defy conventional wisdom / flagged-up the gorilla
why are spacesuits always white (is NASA racist?) / white people look good in black space suits / fainéant in the drop-in centre
African astronauts dancing in the shuttle disco chamber / the mesmerised man / Elizabethan hit squad / reliquiae of Dog Francis
jactate a banana into the air on xmas day in tropical country / the Leftover Men/ eyeball child cry August 7
they tested his reflex skills by chucking duck bones at him / the garage where we hid the trophies
the day the teddy boy really lost it / teddy booty/filthy Christmas/ teenagers in space/
how did you know this was Dusty Rhodes ? ‘the yellow spots were an indicia’ / misoneism is quite common amongst the elderly
otherwise we will have to shave before sundown / I kissed the blistered feet of JC / is Karl Marx on facebook?
humming on the way home from the humming contest / there are too many owls on TV / broke cambist
blushing like an astronaut caught wanking on the space shuttle / yes NASA control tower peril hope have a buzz on me
waiting for my girlfriend to get home from her illicit love affair with my friend Ian / I am child of shadow (Chad
we stockpiled the bones of our enemy and displayed them proudly in the garden / balls out for the queen
everything my new girlfriend does flies in the face of convention / the nystagmus sufferer knocked my pint over
exiguous men being picked on by big ol’ lesbians / the fall of the superman / romantic poet made me blush / 2 grandad scroll
beautiful as the chance meeting on a dissecting table of a sewing machine and an umbrella / massive junior
we wiped the AO from our chins and carried on chatting up the flirting Jane / curried umbrella (ghost step)
my dad was the king of the local fast food scene / we twist off bird’s heads and throw them in the ocean / fashionable flu /carrying a puppy around the graveyard to try and attract the attentions of mourning women / single girls fall from trees
torpedo smudge / antique backdraft / we stopped the last gang from killing the ‘LL ester Eastern Pussy’. / Prehistoric pussy
I think vinegar fingers have been stroking my kitten again / let ‘em eat pussy / you got some kind of jelly on your eyelids
I shut my eyes to intercourse footage / we uncovered footage of Harvey Milk drawing ink moustaches onto famous paintings
We littered the town centre with burger wrappers / my square-shaped head fits nicely into your suitcase / cottage pie whore
we tempted the scarecrow down from the tree with a nice jam sandwich / every hotel room stank of peanut butter and mush
I got children on my shoulders / everybody floats when they take the time to contemplate the stars / green moustaches in 1880s
nothing you say is worth writing on the chalk boards / 05.04.1997 – bored of drum wars – keep your memory, you will need it
I presented my septuagenarian father with a print of ‘Cut with the Dada Kitchen Knife through the Last Weimar
we attempted to teach the Spanish owls how to catch GB mice / apnoea sufferers should sit on the front seat of the bus
the man who lived his life as if he were a kitchen knife / sex on a chopping board / give the dog room to chase his tail
figure 8 reminds me of your beautifully ample wife / who made you king of the heterosexuals? / let them eat puppets
Barking bloke don’t know what she should be / TV turns to sludge
my mother rejected my new boyfriend on the grounds of his ambivalent attitude towards god
the man who ate his own future (maybe he thought he wasn’t god) / smoking out Moses / the man who spiralled out of control before he had the chance to eat a breakfast / stuck inside a godless world / life without the commercial children
like a blonde Yosemite Sam grown to an average height / been did by lesbian /squash your buttons
maybe I will grow a beard before St Wiener Day / I need room to bathe away my sins (esp. crepuscule sins)
does Mickey Mouser have a willy? / there was no room for furniture because of the humongous elephant carcass
sitting around listening to the dull anecdotes of the ageing homosexuals / brows held high / look at Donald Duck’s face
Death makes a fist / 60-odd Chinese teenagers being shown around the abattoir where I work / all of my friends are hob-goblins / monster slash beast residing in the back bedroom / Christmas stirrup / the study if a goblin’s knob / Delivering catharsis from the drug-hazy ether / what name should we give to the humanoid?/the somewhat disturbing auditory experience of being shouted at by a spirit /what the hells a bush?/ I want to enjoy the freedom to slap people in the head / shave me tonight, baby
do you still class yourself King of the Homosexuals? / the mizzle kids will not be given chicken or beer / I dabbed the zombie’s brow with a wet cloth and then went and sold some stuff on E Bay / Moroccan tusks / Channel 5 presenters talk in pig English
from the view point of the kremlin, the babushka looked fairly young / everyone needs a hug before entering death row
Pie eye on death row / trailer park memories of discarded raincoats / modern goblin / dreaming of abandoned raincoats
we relaxed with a glass of octopus milk and a bag of sparrow claws / not all German men are ‘normal’ /moon bucket baby / Jeremy Wilson and the devil smoking crack and whistling at gals / antidemon / Nick Cave resembles some kind of worm / throttles corpse / heal the corpse/ we stole the shoes from the dead bachelor
spooky perfume 4 pervert / the perverted face of landscape gardener / the King of Pleasure is NOT the Antichrist
..and we entered the pleasure tunnel / the vox of god / the porky doctor / yeah but what if his nose never stops bleeding?
Sarah and Leone made excellent superwaifs / warzone intercourse / of course I want to kiss your father..don't be silly!
all my friends are golden-hearted idiots / I made notes of what to do if being chased by werewolf / with the Ambulance King
they travelled many miles to come and see the blue gorilla / ancient children discovered before dinner-time / jazz tarmac
damp slabs / trying to avoid the men who have visibly got Christian whiskers / never tackle a tree surgeon before breakfast
I hate Mickey Mouse since he was nasty to Minnie / Queen Quiver / we decided to lock up the ancient children ‘till Xmas
cancel your life and come over to the other side / I fought for your life, and you rewarded me with a slap to the face / damp slabs / dry slapping the cute little beasts/pink wrist
I might try to persuade you to shave me off / I will not reveal my milk arms / jungle finger-nails / stinging sex / nautical ‘tache
no need to clean your teeth today, Morris / my dream wooden automobile (which was carved out of a tree) / resume of the gods
I can smell the future on your breath / I will use your hands to help me shave off my beard (we grew turkey burgers for the kids)
I managed to vault over the baby horse / tree house dreamers / the darkest moustache I ever saw / honourable discord
do you still call yourself the Duke of Juju Town
Whispering sweet poetry into the Caribbean baby’s ear / discarded nostrils in Rough Street
happy dead man / Antidemocrat fem on vox / the leftover sausage acted as a useful bung / Roland Rat was a retard
single men always let me down / let’s get a more suitable hobby, Kyle / suitable hobbies for homosexual gentlemen
annoyed by summer sunshine (I am morbid and shit) / zombie on the carousel / apnoea-suffering girls turn me on
Terry Bolea taught me how to look good even though I was thin and pathetic / his cowboy hat was coated in blood
The zombie was quite shocked when he caught his reflection in the mirror / sanguine hands of local killa / alphabet rap
‘things we saved from the fire (part two)’ – a stuffed gorilla, a newspaper from my name day and a bag of children’s chalk
I require that all of my girlfriend familiarise themselves with the work of Hans Arp / Elizabethan cattle drum
modern slob playing X Box games all through the day whilst his family work hard in the plantation fields / grim drummer
they ruined the song with bike hooter noises / completely insensate matchstick men / modern slumdog
supermodel in a mammock (they left a jar of apples on the moon) / side order of sin
we sent a video tape of the grown up dogs to the elder statesman / sinister vinegar
plums remind me of mountains / I always get emotional when I see plums and bananas together in a fruit bowl
cowboy in a cobweb / the legendary deceased huntsman / maybe he should have removed his collar before getting in the bath tub
fruity super bowl / we dug a ditch and buried all of the Salt Chunk Mary cassettes (and Bull Onion poetry)
I spent several hours playing draughts with the boy with no armpits /tiny cowboy in a massive glass of milk
fell asleep in a t shirt and woke up in a jumper (Life without pimp). / itchy Romanian beard / scratch the atlas
he ended up approximately in the middle of the desert with nothing but a bag of potatoes / the Rolls Royce of broken bicycles
I long to be back in 1880-1891 / Mohammed Zart and the dead piano pickers / demurring from word of god (WOG)
We were encouraged to try and bond with the humanoid machines / bandit’s moustache / temporary Rodger
there aren’t any people called Phillip in Africa / African chutney (loaded on) / bathing with the screwdriver / taken ghosts
some cowboys can’t write poetry / the demure hangman / the broken bones of Sludgepipe Peter / boneyard baby
big chubby African children being shown around the White House / 60 dreams in one minute / homosexual’s moustache
we applied a Stakhanovism system to the shell-fish factory / Kathy Jacobs was Pooh-Bah’s most very favourite secretary
I was brought up to always wash my hands before handling body parts / Please keep your gums on display / diamond haircut
my friend claims his father was one of the Argonauts / Cyclops dreaming of working for the civil service / beautiful erection
a beautiful depiction of Ecce Homo in a children’s colouring book / zombies called David / belly hose / shiny erection
dead horse in the graveyard / vegan fire engine / butcher shop hotline / prelude to a broken arm / jazz for astronauts / a beautiful depiction of King Kong slaughtering Mecca-god / is Iran
backwoods beauty / I have some rare footage of King Kong being punched out by a heavyweight champ / incendiary pockets
onset of goose flesh indicated that the priest was getting nervous / it’s very rare to find a sensible peacock these days
what should I do if you happen to see UFO? / Belinda is a ghost / my girlfriend’s fruit bowl has cracked / grade 6 eyebrows
king of the gurners is residing down the well for the duration of the tournament / dusty old knuckles / late run of zombies
dead chimp in the evening sun / he dropped his trousers and blew his nose 3 times / significant tits / computerised erections
the man who grows snakes in the back of his car / I’ve got perfume on my thumbs / zombies in the gas chamber / coconut spook
the latest gambit was to hide the lads behind the big green bush ‘till midnight / coconut-scented spook / we carpeted the moon
why did God make animals so pretty, when all I really want to do is shoot ‘em / Jerry , you are under the sun or moon
Tinky Winky’s Egyptian slide-show / Dead man on live TV / junk apparatus / Joe’s mindless eyeballs / babes at the terminus
breakfast with the jazz enthusiast (none meaty) / none the more meaty (jazz shoulder blades) / Scottish yardie / overhead teeth / borrowed a bag of butterfly bones from the local gypsy/ Angolan sweater / taking a look at Keith’s new teeth/the shuttle penis/there is so little that you know about dead people’s dreams / people who use ‘Facebook’ are not human/the man who grew a head before growing a neck /April jazz fist – meat free orgy/bring me my coloured pencils (I love needle pie) / Needle Pie island will never die/the mind is a dirty and wonderful organ (a small boy holding two fingers in the air..these fingers have red and blue paint dripping off them/ going back to what I said to you when giving you head.. / Groundhog Jackson and the Forgotten Ideas (that we had on the way to Stockport) / a king removed his mask to reveal the face of a child/Hi Jack Nance (hijack Nance) / hijacking a nancy on Xmas eve / putrefied gums of local mendicant/five-0finegred ghost/loosened my grip on the newborn turtle / sometimes the paint drips onto the bathing beauties/sister’s eyeball / cloud bastard /
I popped some leftover nan bread in the harvest festival box / dead ghost (I harangue people for their Bull Onion Poetry)
a box full of festive paper moustaches / you look like 142 80s tanned TV host(s) / gangland poets dreaming in the future
we constructed a memorial to the arts teacher out of sued pencils and old pieces of charcoal / baby leper / toilet training a zombie
the sound of feu de joie reminds me of my idyllic childhood in Buenos Aries / do ghosts have nostrils? / Greek traffic
got too kinky even for you / Trevor’s pink girlfriend / ideological breakfast / my new see-thru fur coat impressed all the girls
my dad’s hobbledehoy assistant / lesbian zombie / kicked out of Fat School
a cabbage resting on the edge of a diving board in a Parisian swimming pool / I melted some cheddar over my girlfriend’s fur
the very cold hands of Dead Ian / drifting alone down a filthy old canal / forgetting which way round your head is
I dream of feet / his supper was covered in cobwebs and fake blood / engineered my Dream Baby / we breed princes
the last request of the day was ‘jam sandwich + offal’ / Batman is not a real bat, man / dreaming of orchestra lad by baby boy
we knew you was Dracula cos of your sanguine breath /3.15am..a cabbage resting on the edge of the plastic kitchen table. 3.20am a naked middle-aged priest (actually he isn’t naked, he is wearing a see-thru cassock that he fashioned from an old shower curtain) walks past the plastic table and accidentally (purposely??) knocks the cabbage off the table. The cabbage falls to the kitchen floor and is greedily eaten by a small ‘toy’ dog / the call girl was coated in scholar’s dandruff / spooky kids love money/
Peeking duck peaking at the ageing students through a hole in his carnival mask (why do the Chinese insist on dressing up all their farm animals at carnival time??) / Saturday pansy / junior waltz 1988-89 / damp lips of lover / onion flavour poem
what would Elizabethan chimps look like? / champion astronaut of 1889-90 / gentleman’s harvest / gay life of TT Ibis
my life began with the first performance of ‘The Breasts of Tiresias’ / amnesia sufferers often end up in hole
trying to imagine what my boyfriend would look like if he was over the age of 16 / lesbian land-fill / I smoke before sex
we fought hard to bring about the end of Anonymous Society / the cultured zombies / the modern bitch / sinister pansy
we tried to get the fainéant kicked out of the ‘let’s do it’ club / Cookie the bear cub is my new best pal / curly gown
insipid recollections of the crab Arab (hug an Arab a day) / the pelagic men showed me the way to ancient ship wreck
I now live in an Egyptian fire engine with my 2 kids (mauve boy and green girl) / I am 90 and a swimming pool ponce
boys with two eyes / planet covered in some kind of noxious ooze / bum future (Persian garage)/ sofa bed bitches
the reptant fear is back again (at 3.17am) / all those trolls on face Book making love to me / kinky rash / future cobwebs
we overheard a colloquy between the jester and his father / a big bag of plastic nipples / the frozen face of Ice Man
every time I think of you, an egg appears on the front room table / blue 80s kinky rash –FP / sundry moustache
we used the vicious discharge as a tracklement for our supper / I only shoot ugly beasts like Mungo-Apes etc. / mauled Paul
what’s wrong with owl sandwiches..i was brought up on them / a life of looking into other people’s eyes / bearded baby
snacking on other people’s suppers / the man who only wore see-thru shirts / this sugar shirt dos not fit does not
we were impressed + amused by the regal deportment of paper-crown wearing mendicant /paid in gravy / Stonehenge dogging club / lesbian’s whiskers /what do loose horse represent to you? / a farewell to Christ/ I was raised by other kids parents and I think this made me the person I am tonight (slave chip) / the slave’s chip was removed allowing him to be free for the first time in his life /
tugged off in Beijing
Astronaut dandruff / the bed time story did not amuse me, mother / impressions in the face of the relic / baby on the sideboard
my love for you is on a similar level to a Jap’s love of Godzilla / things most people don’t know part 3:- in proportion to the huge size of his body, King Kong had a rather small winky / I never saw a whale bone I didn’t want to wrap in foil and take home to mammy / summer time deaths quad/twin sideburns
there is no such thing as an honest chapman / the blue tonsils indicated it was humanoid / pastured old (sexy hand puppet)
I met my new girlfriend at an Iranian social club / let’s get low down with the Danish men / Bobby Felt and the Cuban Dreamers
balloon animals floating around the graveyard / I took a flask of gin for the long walk to graveyard / pessimistic corpse
Joe’s liquid bones / the small fury man who lives on top of the nearby monticule / eat your fish, man. / mesmerised by tin clown
the Age of Confusion was greeted by a mixture of cheers and groans / a farrago of children with an assortment of haircuts
Turkish laughter permeates my mind tonight / the French child was happy riding on his dada / birds in the coffin / modern wolf
we found a sack of chimps on the master’s doorstep / my modus operandi is to strip naked and cover myself in screech
I know we’re not supposed to love other men / jazz thumb prints (JOxP sniff) / I situated myself adjacent to the elephant trunk
he opened the basket to reveal a 5 moth old foumart, which he hoped his 4 month old daughter would really like
feeding luncheon meat to ex-glamorous children / my ex wife’s kids are staring into space (which thy refer to as ‘home’)
I opened the magazine and discovered that the content was not to my liking / modern muppets / PE kit turned me on
it’s a bit too cloudy to be flying aeroplanes today, Baba / African pilot eating a sausage sandwich /insipid cassettes (wormhole reunion)/ my nan found the Muppets a little vulgar and in rther p[poor taste (especially that ‘Gonzo’ character, what with his cocaine taking etc.)/ twisted prism …top-deck puff /pop-up Conrad / Jesus blinking due to the uncommonly bright studio lights/I’m really hoping to get to see Janet Jackson next Tuesday / Trading places with a small otter who is decked out in tin foil to make him look like the Space Otter/
I didn’t need to water-down the moonshine.. the baby men were hardened drinkers / Rasta revision/ ‘the daily lament’
why do drum ‘n’ bass DJs always have dirty fingers? / I might attempt to make the Lizard Kid stop smoking pipes
urbane morality / egg-filled gossip column / I will never cease to believe in Scratch / Humanoid Scab Café Orchestra
the wonderful plastic Earth / I hate people who are crusty 24/7 / imaginary jungle / entry-level weirdo / Joe Joe’s pulse
cuddling corpses (on TV) / dancing with Malcolm (in the Lion’s Lounge) / being gay is not a lifestyle option, George
roaring like Leroy did that one Sunday when he got well angry. / a small infant holding aloft a slightly-rotten peach
gay werewolf / welcome to the pooch pad / a big bowl of steaming manure / lock a boy up / craving for a beating
whistling at the gorgeous broad / exsanguinate the corpse before feeding it to lion(s)
chicken pat orchestra / repugn authority (‘till they put you in the shackles) – GG / TV colostomy / Daddy Loose-Step
this ain’t no world for the little / sexy depression / depression is a big turn on (so said that little black-haired girl from TV)
ornery kids on the ghost train (showing off in front of their girlfriends) / bachelor’s kitchen / inside the head of Wolf Boy
underground gravy ./ mesmerised by broke TV / modern diablerie scrapbook / girl with a horse egg in her pocket
I’m spending more and more time watching chubby girls play tennis / this modern donkey girl / that new curly feeling
I sharpened my teeth in preparation for the impending war of the beasts / this is funky warzone
I feel uncomfortable in the presence of girls who carry razors in their pockets / dunked like a pseudo witch/
he tried everything he could think of to try and make the ape love him / he kept on drooling on my forehead / girls sweat in bed/
put your scabbard back on and come and have a bloody cup of tea, Neil / he gets so hot in bed / man meets superman
his pockets where full of mouse droppings / sniffing keyboards in computer showrooms / deserted by my prime mate
we were preceded by a precession of gilded horses and men dressed like space-apes / alone with the blondes / bearded bone
sitting at the back of the sofa with Sweeney, greased lover of antipodean rocker. / do you formulate ideas just for fun?
Jammy King said this hospital cheese was fairly good / kids were damaged by exposure to The Jacob Twins / fell asleep on Beth Ditto’s sizeable breasts / minuscule bacteria on the surface of the breasts /
Ghost in my tent (ruined camping trip) / is it - insouciant butcher..happily chopping penis’ off of beasts
the elephants the students are the elephants – the student is the elephant in the room / I fell asleep on Beth Ditto’s breasts
Ron Cherry survived by hanging his coat out of the window / attacked by the wonderful wolf / anorak tits
I took my new girlfriend to the graveyard for our first date / deputising for Daddy Fresh / comb your hair before execution
dad found a chicken’s ear in his Caesar Salad / slap-happy granddads / New York
B Boys spinning in the graveyard / the death of Lobster Boy wiped the smile off of our faces / gorilla in loose-fitting pants
Stud Terkel goes to eat his day job (c. my six yr old cousin) / I ain’t no American, but I know fast food
I awoke to find a pug dog floating above my bed / maybe Kurt didn’t die..maybe he changed his name to Carl and became a bug catcher/
I tied a rag around my hand and ran down the street shouting ‘I am Rag hand’/informal croc / I shut my eyes to avoid looking at the bulging tits of the Countess/ / you need to have a ticket to view my beard / ITV dinner /
the frightened ghosts/
the man in the corner emitted a kind of sibilant sound which disturbed all the nearby children / ..with ghosts in their pockets
bleeding freak medicine show / is this just a random selection of psychedelic phrases?..no, it isn’t / puff the magic sailor
St Sebastian is addicted to happy hardcore music / miserable hardcore / the day I arrived in your mouth / Dakota freak medicine
I unlocked the milkman’s secret / Jap made it cool / I found a secret note in my milk bottle / hairy gravy / I perfumed my balls
getting high before breakfast / I really admire those men in movies that smoke a joint when they wake up / flock of corpses
Tiny Tales Part 02 – I took lunch with a lesbian and a man dressed up as a chimpanzee in FDR Congo
hot pervert / Ethiopian wimp / armchairs of Mars / list entry without a title / enlightened by midday succour from priest
Victor or the Children Take Over / harmless death / repose of intercourse was a relief. Quite frankly
the elephants ignore the students and the students pretend not to notice the kinky MILF tutor / MILF in my bedroom
Missing Ill Love Fraction / curled up at the edges like an Indian’s nails / breakfast in bath (BIB)
we slept amongst the disectia membra of the fallen superstars / Binky’s Junket / Joan Shape and the BB Skeletons
I gave my copy of ‘Tempest’ to the starving dude / memories of African junket / randy coughing mendicant
1. what do you do if you spill beetroot on your corduroy trousers? / spongy faced old puff
the gastarbeiter spoke a language I was unfamiliar with, although it did include the following English words:- ‘truck’, ‘pipes’ and ‘dog’. / god let me see this tropical helicopter / vulture on the sideboard / I got trapped in the zoo and the chimps adopted me as one of their own / dog circles (I looked through the window and saw Christ Himself)
Ethnocentric thug wondering aloud why Indians don’t eat fry-ups / his brain made of candy/the first thing the returning spaceman did was get himself a haircut / jobes aimed at dying forest/beard minimum (dance like you’re alive in 1928 (with Dutch drug addicts) / we made the drug addict a cheese and onion sandwich but he rejected it in favour of a bag of speed /
and then he appeared to slice off his thumbs with a kitchen knife / the sook rejected his pseudo mother and joined the local circus
they installed a jukebox in Slaughter House 6 / relics of Armageddon on e-bay / Daft Punk cassette floating in the blood-red sea
the TV did not cheer Doctor Manhattan up / men walking around the mall carrying plastic babies / hospital clown
Animal Mother and O-Dog would have been great pals / my chubby anorak don’t fit no more / crying adults on steam trains
Beautiful blue eyes of monster / I only dine with Arabic gentlemen these days, mum / mum is in the attic, dad
I left Tilda floating in the bath whilst I rubbed shaving oil into my face / keening over dead astronaut
Puff the magic medicine man was killing himself slowly to the Smith Smith sound / the midnight acrobat / blind channels
weld metal albatross back together – I prefer Korean dandruff / view from the poo hut / banquet of dreams
waxwork haemorrhage / refulgent erection / I prefer chimps to men / my tacky boyfriend/ egg on my shoulders / black shoulders
I heard a rumour that Martians dream in black and white / TV moose on TV / are you sure you know what a TV is?
the curious eyes of the men of the deep-sea / deep-sea toe job / wizard of porn show / sexy little heatwave / cardboard curtains
the moon tastes of cheese but it stinks of popcorn /my see-thru face / untold Tuesdays / I had one too many limp bananas
I treasure my animal skull collection / standing behind a lady with a massive beehive hairstyle / sexy mantra / the despot insisted that every single woman wear their hair in the ‘beehive’ style / jazz mantra (flick book pages 4-6)
in 1987 I became addicted to cowboy poetry / I only live for the Chairs / secret matrix of devilment / keep on bleeping
gurning man with an object in his ear / dead-end feature / chicken features can’t get laid / December bones (Irish Rent)
men who think that it is OK to bite the heads off chickens should be banned from the music industry
succour punch made you realise the time for pacifism was over / daily wizard / France is a bad place for Francophiles
only a girl like you would be jealous of a cartoon (TINE) / smacked in your aquiline face / giraffe in the gasthof
we filled the cavity with burned-out cassette cases / astronaut in Paris
the cop tried to break up the noisy shivoo but was placated by a plate of bar-b-q pork and a side salad coated in mayo
phony orphan / he broke away from the Curly Little Awkward Weasel / X ray Monday / X Marks Monday
are you prepared to sell your soul for a small bag of frog’s eyelids? / Although he protested that he liked pork barbecue much better, he owned up to eating caviar at Maxim's in Paris and even to visiting the Louvre Museum
why are humanoids always depicted with their hands in their coverall pockets? / most of it is from my belly paws
Malcolm’s hairy chops / we were ugly babies but we grew up to be beautiful/dodgy orphan / slipped out of my sandals and stuck my sweating feet onto the teenager’s toned gut/
my dad left half a giraffe in the fridge / front lawn sex / supine claws of new world beast / teen captain / the farouche werewolf
do you ever feel that you might belong to a different species? / I dipped my toes in the gravy / set KO eyeballs on fire
modern fart / collectanea contained poems by such luminaries of the written word as Jo Jo Peacock and Mush Arab
Adolph’s Lung Drum (is this the tiniest man who ever set foot on ‘our’ planet)
the surface of the moon is littered with ancient car parts / the mother finally admitted that her first born was incredibly ugly / I threw my baby into the hole which had been dug for the purpose of disposing of the unwanted Robbie Williams cassettes
so check behind mom’s ancient speakers (you might find your bible there) /the surface of Mars is littered with abandoned white goods / brown insides (insider sex)
my wife has gone off and joined MAVO (JA) and, to tell you the truth, I’m pretty happy about it / knock-out chimps
Ethiopian clergyman in Yugoslavia
it’s hard to find your mother when someone switches the fairy lights off / Max by the grave (of his murdered comrade)
I put on my trousers and urinated myself / the queen’s favourite son was always Felix / the man with the vegan’s face
nursery rhymes written backwards upset the kiddies / piccanniny poetry club / I never left kids stranded without their bean bags
whatever happened to the plastic animals you kept beside your bed? / application for a brittle promise / the devil got too skinny
I spent most of the weekend pretending to be a vegetarian / David Bowie has too many ideas on one side of his head
I loped off the parking attendant’s head with my sister’s hunting knife / the view from Uncle Bulgaria
why do people only eat pickled onions at Xmas / Magic Roundabout was full of illegal drugs / eyeing up the fit birds from afar
refractory actions of a bad public schoolboy cost us all our ticket to imaginary freedom / dead-eyes of sapient scholar
a moon baby like no other / zombie scraps / you are that Indian child I once played squash with / Barbie’s fake eye
I traded Pink’s autograph for a big bag of chocolate-coated mushrooms / girls from Lidls / having sex with a joyless pig farmer
The Sick Insects new LP was tentatively titled ‘Bulgarian Shopping Channel Jazz’ / went to bed with farting gorilla / ‘Damp Secret Records’ release schedule for July 2015:- ‘African cops in my bedsit’ by ‘Felix and the Fox Hunters’.; ‘Diamond Pipes’ by ‘Dog Rancid and the Cup Holders’; ‘Burnt by Joy’ by ‘Sunshine in Wigan’; ‘Fear of Dying’ by ‘Prince Phil and The Carnival Kiss’; ‘Jazz Astronaut is not dead (yet)’ by ‘Kings of Dirt’ / the priest struggled to deliver his sermon as he had a mouthful of candy beans / Macy Gray’s deleterious potions / makeshift nose-job in Algerian hospital / ‘Children of the Devil’ was a rather clichéd choice for an LP title / morbid finger puppets / box of assorted memories.. $9.00 each / mixed up my suitcase with someone else’s (which contained a monkey skull and some elephant bones) / Creole homecoming / boy with the paper bones
Islanders always have coconut breath / chimney baby (the baby who lived in a chimney) / vinegar brunette / life without Japan
I would like to introduce you to my Caribbean daughter / I only see girls in motion films / death of Blind Bill was my mea culpa
The The cassettes floating in the midnight sky / I wrapped my face in newspaper / I coated my face in swamp dust
coleslaw on your eyeballs / damp collars of sweating preacher / j:- gulag junk / Samuel is peeping at my toes again / sock puppet covered in holes / my inauthentic baby / I have a gift for you- it is a punch from a sex model / here is something I witnessed this morning…a polar bear smoking a cigarette / bonus hand job (FOC) / days out with the zombie and co / some savage tears were cried the night they hanged Phil Marcini / purple bulldozer (?) / kissed a twat’s lips / bungo maahrat Marlboro teeth / forgotten crackers (Woodstock Hiss Town
they played their death metal to the convalescing Asian flu victims / deposit your bones here / the teenager played his death metal cassettes to er..death!/ Stewart Cliff is made for Jac (amo). Let’s try that again..Stewart Cliff is mad for Jacamo /Korean teeth are never very pretty
lead me around like dog / naturalised Jap / feathered enemy / displaying enmity towards your former best friend / golden testicle / / the rubber children / permanent eyebrows / I took off my cardigan and climbed in the hot hot tub/technically, you’re alive / shouldering the blame (magnetic rot) /
he was jabbering on about peacocks in a strangely indistinctive accent / the day they told me to wipe the cream from my face
out in the corner of the city with Tom Vague / chicken relish blues / poetic werewolf / a list of exotic fruits you would like to try
it’s difficult to know where you’re going if you don’t even know where you are / the maps beneath the maps / rented feet / the jungle floor was covered in baby feet and little vials of crack cocaine / dumb for luck/wash up your feet and come and see the bastard on the floor / time to sniff your filthy little finger/futuristic foot prints / Jesus was a futurist/clattered into God / big bearded men in sex dungeons/brain gravy / slags in dungeons/ foreign toe nails / the shrubbery contains various tiny dogs and cats/corpse on the trampoline / wine and fine lovers/Sinn Fein baby / my hat fell off to reveal the caput of a super model /trash-humanism / spooky tooth – the return/which teeth should I clean this morning? / morning bleep / had an orgy with the cast of ‘Cats’ / cats in casts/
we coated the moon in butter for our own personal amusement / grovelling on a Tuesday (mother told me it was Wednesday)
I opened my curtains to find a spaceman sitting in my back garden / holy partition / yeah, but it’s only an entry-level jungle
my lover don’t eat ham-burgers / we introduced the spaceman to greasy spoon café culture / stranded on the edge of the moon
they always remove the thumbs first / a day out with women called Maureen / the wonderfully perfumed cadavers
salty freedom / assaulted by a gorilla dressed in a man costume / perfumed teeth. / kingdom of blind people / never mind the cat, what about me? / long-forgotten Christmas dogs / Christian dogs / sunburnt secrets / skinny hungry dogs of Mars / ..that’s no way to treat a porn king / my baby sleeps a little too soundly. / corduroy-clad orchestra / bring me the flesh of Mickey Mouse
a jar of ancient eyeballs was resting on top of the booming speaker and we worried it might fall off and smash on the concrete disco floor / mushed love / I get all mashy when I see my computer baby/suburban secret apple tree in suburbia/ suburb baby - Ba in the suburbs /
Bambi’s left foot is hanging round my neck / moon cadavers / the day my dreams fell out of my head and into a mucky oligeous puddle/ Skin Graft and the looped cassettes (operational death) / death in service memories/riddle of the disappearing carpets/ stuck out my thumb to indicate I needed a lift to the Mushroom Farm/
overground resistance / a life with the wrecking crew / insouciant gobs / screwed before breakfast / MacBeth is T-Rex!
it will never happen if you don’t taker your fingers out / Tijuana
burn the jester, for he disrespected Keith / anus of an owl / glorious drag queen / I hope to meet the real me real soon
the denouement came a little prematurely, and we were left unsatisfied / killed by makeshift gravity / graveyard bonus
Japanese trash culture / Tijuana bubble / born under a bad neon sign/ thoughts written down on scrap of paper by Black Sheridan
a callous way of telling me you were not actually my lover / a pseudo sun made us feel good for a few mins / erotic claw
labour day gravy / they told us to stop leaving our feet on the floor / the craving for sex got a little out of hand /sick map
he built a lovely little fence out of the skeleton bones / what day will the birds stop tweeting? / the naked prospector /Car crash culture / the man who liked to crash his car and then masturbate in the wreck (they made a film about this, dad) / Raj Moustache / dad was right, today is the beginning of (deleted to protect the identity of those men in the corner) /
I love shiny-faced people / Men with too many teeth in their mouth / stuck in Geneva
lay demon :– see- thru society / men with puppets attached to their hands / dandruff avalanche
mumbling into the mike / crooked Muppet / cantankerous butcher’s assistant / wooden eyebrows / psychological Mondays
I shaved off your beautiful beards / fist shake 2000 / Muppets in the alley / life + times of the contents of Pee Wee’s pocket / I hate Indian music (I hate Indian musicians) / the man down the back alley claims to be the reincarnated Christ / tall white man mumbling something about cottage pipes into a broken Dictaphone / smashed the tape recorder and ran off with the deaf children/I damaged your mind last night (0) /
Who on earth shot Merman? / Alfie went to Norwich
the day bone collector decided he had enough bones, for now / we housed all of our family in Barry White’s abandoned coffin
we made a cocktail using the sweat from Barry White’s coffin / silver lion, come to me..make me feel manly /Tokyo
men who don’t look like women / I bricked up the silly kids / queen on the mattress / in a field with the dead mice
you think you’re clever cos you were the first person to notice that Michael Jackson was turning white
Sebaceous men sitting around contemplating their huge deserts / I live with a manikin named ‘Bill’
my daughter suggested that orotund kids should be banned from Burger King / lesbian pink dust
we coated the corpse in talcum powder to make it smell nicer / coshering on Xmas eve, 1919/ I could just about manage to tickle my children with my broken fingers / she touched me on my foot and this made me feel vaguely aroused (sexually) /
chubby children spilling out of the butcher shop / background chicken / I love to eat out / promoting dead mousse
dressage turns me on / Ghanaian Christmas / the day the boys exploded / ticklish finger / rainbows made me gay
these infant hands / the day-glo chicken / I think you may get the opportunity to smoke some bones later (if you stick around) /
George Best had a beard / I like to think of all the ghouls that ride on bone ships thru the stinking night / no, my dear..you are not beautiful. People just tell you that because they know that is what you need to hear / soiled spectrum / nativity cocks/
a fine coating of Arabian dandruff / Charles never did learn how to clean his teeth properly / forgotten animals of Noah’s Arc
I am Club Octopus patron number one / winter sunshine reminds me of my father’s peppers / damp sperm / granite baby / how queer of you it was to bring me down into this here sex dungeon / fancy a bite on my finger nails, lover? / can’t never get enough of my girl’s sugar / I poured a little sugar onto my toes and then tried to locate the whereabouts of my bitch / a brief history of 15th century toe nails / did u know..Martians have no toes nails / when he asked me if I had any loose meat, I think he meant to say loose change / stoical man, hold on – dog traffic / "I've got a little biscuit tin/ To keep your panties in/ Soiled panties, white panties, school panties, Y-Front panties"--/ I am the 80s (finger me now, Henry) - blood–soaked dolls / winking camp zombie / winking is always camp, father / zombie on mushrooms / my erect tonsils / dancing in the quagmire/ everything comes from nothing (or should that be ‘something’?)/shit-stained ear lobes / little tiny humans called ‘Terry’ / If Jesus Christ is the father of punk, who is the son? / Brick Lane Hospital
lipstick in horror style / we permed the girl’s hair and then put her on display for a fortnight / sold for a plate o’ cold meat
Cobra Kid has a beautifully languid disposition, don’t you think? (phone me!!) / sallow-faced men in 19th century paintings
his genitals had been placed in a small leather-bound box / eating alligator chops in a café in the middle of nowhere
that weird green room which doubles as a hairdressing salon / machinery fingers / ashamed of the Sheep People
I gave up writing about people whom resemble ducks / neurotic man in dungarees / it’s too late in the day to make some eggs
tea bags are dunked and map-books are opened / I can’t love you for your maps alone / filthy horizon
Mr Duckworth and the feinting apes / / coated in fur in the morning / erotic video season / it’s sunshine hour in death camp
Sometimes it is what you do with your beard that really counts / are all zombies scum bags? / Chinese treatise
your Chinese eyelids will not tempt me into giving away my map-books /Chinese maps are quite confusing
these maps are defunct as all of the topography has drastically altered / pampered corpse (2) / congenial zombie / my treasures in your attic (I want ‘em back) / powdered honeymoon / slag-heap pumpkin (it’s amazing what will grown on a slag heap)/heap of slags / Christmas honeymoon – egg railment (royal yobs) /it was possibly a mistake to play ’20 Jazz Funk Greats’ by Throbbing Gristle to my new girlfriend / changing heads in the back of the car/my girlfriend busied herself with taking back and white photos of the dying studio engineer /we caught Lil’ Charlie with pockets full of pornographic lighters /
mad old Uncle Bennett put spiders in his curry / I leant my spare horse to the highwayman / bag o’ apples for centaur
good map-reading skills are not a solid foundation for a successful marriage / pepper the leper / your Asian bird has flu!
my girlfriend tried, in vain, to teach me how to read Monster Island
the eccentric landlord replaced the Buddha ornament with a used potato / no right to call yourself ‘Gold Kid’ /freedom of triangles/ /Baby on the roof / subjugation of Big Daddy (massive arrival) / dead fish on my patio /
perfumed tiger festival / bucket full of fish in tuxedos / I have a plan to ruin the rest of the world / fingers in the machinery
the arctophile climbed into his teddy bear costume and sat down for tea with Rupert and Edward (why are arctophiles invariable called Rupert or Edwards? / / kids don’t go on web / kids don’t grow on webs / Cockney pleasure dome /
I am desperate to make love to the girl that drew this here map / if you know how to read this map, please come with me
I should not have allowed my girlfriend to defecate on the map-book / was James Bond really gay? / walking through puppy jobs
‘Good map-reading skills’ is not a good reason to marry someone / I should not have left my two-week old son in charge of the maps/come down and see the preserved turtle’s bell-end / Gamma Raymond (chicken fist) / Gunga Din baby / baby on acid /
bifarious-headed demons are snacking on my brains / kennel milk cake for cat / what rubbish, Samuel (go to your room)
baby taught me to appreciate 3D movies (3D ghost) / smoking corpses / cute hospital / my new shining bomb
clocking on with Ali Nasty and the Pimps / Golden Roger ® / plasticine hump / Bebo’s dirty circus hat / glorious cripple
..like sausages arriving from heaven / Paddy Nasty and the Door Mice / Pakistani I Bomb. / cripples in the Navy
oh lord won’t you give me one of your pretty celestial horsies? / it’s a precious corpse / Malcolm is an excellent name for a bird.
adventures with Patti Patti Smith / I don’t know or care what a circus is / I don’t know who the Juniper Group were.
I thought you resigned from your position as Head Lad? / I shaved off my perm / I hate women who wear perms
Insouciant solider having a crafty cig on the front line / enemy eyelids / I hate farded girls in Northern pubs
eating liver ‘n’ onions with the doomed factory line-manager / I lived beneath Top Cat’s front teeth
small boy spitting onto a map of Hollywood , CA
drugged werewolf / champion spastic / I knew I shouldn’t have worn my pink trousers to the rodeo / my lover needs a hobby (as I am away in South Korea quite a lot these days) / summer in these days happy yes yes no CC no GG / 25 days before Spiderman goes to college / that boy there in the flower bed with cans/attic baby / death in the attic/those glorious bones / in bed with the or a monster/ the plastic echo / tiny children from China, Japan and Korea eating berries and having a good time / bifarcous trees make the kids happy / remains of the dead/
I got crapped on at Xmas dinner party / Algerian Xmas / don’t dance with Helicopter Princess / in bed with Linda Smith
from a strictly homosexual point of view / Algerian helicopters / my wings have been rendered useless / reptile’s penis
buffalo in the bath tub / DJ Lampshade just played my 801st favourite drum and bass track / splintered wooden corpse
in love with the mendicant, despite his filthy fingers (I just cannot help myself) / these sausages have arrived! / I just visited my 500th Japanese factory/bargain Christ / even Jesus has been dumbed-down now /
your beard is slightly too big, Mr Harrison / dumb in the morning / Christmas drool /Bully Wee is not for me / African eyebrows
my dad won a ‘Golden Globe’ award and promptly lost it because he was drugged-up / those vanishing zombies / buggered DJ
we shaved down the wooden idols and used the shavings as bedding for the tiny rodents / scag markers / deadly lampshade
when we were the gay lads / clutching onto junior werewolves’ tiny little paw / when I grow up I want to be a vacuum cleaner
my five favourite Colombian bands in no order:- Jazz Rockets, Tide of Fish, Dandruff Market, Caged Goats, Wobbly Chin
the alligator’s gloves were ripped to shreds / we presented a bunch of nosegays to the fresh corpse / facile masterpiece
we spent Saturday afternoon translating the New Testament into Mandarin Chinese / moist bananas / promoting the whore house
momma won’t let me back in the house ‘till I get some pants that fit / the machine started being sick all over the shag pile
I shed little skin in 1988 / sordid cake addicts learn English (SCALE) / puff in the dog house / bleak jazz! /fascile masterpiece/purr yourself to sleep / the royal mint rat/’Maxwell’s Revenge’ is my 98th favourite song by the Billy-Jazz group ‘Fist of Iron Trio’ / banned from the moon (I love cheese too much for NASA’s liking) / ‘lick my lips, not my hips’ / lover’s fist/ acting tough to impress the trainee monk (this love thing I don’t get it) / she looks like she just ‘walked out’ of 1876 (approximation)/I never did lick your lips like you asked me to/ washing machinery poetry (not Kate) / spooky toe nails of the not-long deceased/ I was a school dinner lady in the dirty south / I confuse my own son / I agree to come to the moon with you, but on the condition that I get to wear my favourite green and yellow tank-top / German dandruff / ..the aeroplane yawns / cabbage patch troll / mean old daddy sitting in Mermaid Café drinking strong coffee and smoking dirty old back cigarettes / black fagot/she left her credit card and pocket note book on the moon / specialised death (Hemmingburg’s lament) / black eyeball (Leisure McCartney)/ left my fox in the glove compartment / hear the spaceship yawn / deafening noise from under the pavement/my pet Ming Rat / Junior toothbrush / sideboard Jesus / the door opened and in walked Kiddie Wink / are these the forgotten trousers you spoke of in chapter 14? /booby on the moon /chicken change refund for a broke Wunder Kid / the Angelic Balloon / peanuts for chump / chump eating peanuts and getting dirty water kicked over his shoes/mysterious teeth / blind man’s buffet //the antique eyelids / jazz haemorrhage / a nice bath for the weary traveller/ white man’s burkaa / Pat is an excellent name for a cow / I should never have bought that woman / Elvis John was and still is my lover (pour yourself a glass of brown ale) / you stole those tits, didn’t you / sex pipe / sex with the Queen’s dogs / the Zimmer Hell Beast Clash / took out your pork sword and showed it to the curious Belizean tourists / we found Jack sitting in a phone booth wearing his mohair suit with sweat dripping from his face/Roger Daltrey, Pig Stevens, Jack lemonade-what do these dogs have in common?(clue..it is not that they all fought in Korea)/I always imagine Satan would use a cigarette holder (but he didn’t) / took off my green mohair suit and changed into my stained long johns/rough angel – daddy took his boots off and proudly displayed his new yellow and red socks –catching many admiring glances from the nearby whores / whore tally/the Shallow North / the Deep East (cans of junk) /
the day Top Cat got his front teeth knocked out / the corpse who lived most of his life under a door matt
the day my mom moved in with Roger Daltrey / we were impressed by the lack of death on your planet / walrus of drum ‘n’ bass
the day David Bowie became obsessed with astral jazz / I ain’t gonna work for no chicken-bellied farmer out of Arizona
depressing jazz makes me happy child / I bombed the cola factory / bad ol’ gums of teddy boy / damaged by BA /soap box dog / killed by Dog-God on the day of reckoning / Thom 91 – greasy bones (the day I sported clown make up to the Croesus’ funeral)/Coke Fuel Company annual dinner and dance was sparsely attended due to it clashing with the women’s soccer world cup final (Algeria vs. papa New Guinea) / sex sheet/
we were naïve kids, we though that Mickey Mouse was the great white hope / we can’t sail on no voodoo ships
why you wanna go and put dat funny big monkey on top o’ da Empire State for? / chuckling at brick-layer's exposed arse flesh / cauliflower kid
he was whistling Wilson Joliet on the penultimate bus home / we plied the kids with Chinese candy / ‘are we alive yet’
I wrote down the names all the couples who reminded me of John and Yoko (in green ink) / this sordid future (I am young)
I fell in love with a girl who looks like an ironing board / the long beard of Big Child / god is sleeping in today.
they’re only a family of freaks past 07:00pm / he strongly resembled the last man I made love to / Lord John’s hair spray
I regret not going to shoe shine college / it’s not meant to look like a tonsure, Billy / trilingual child learning a fourth language
I have a penchant for Columbian sausage / the Cubans always get restless at about 7.15pm / receiving hugs from sailors
he got locked in his room by his step-father, even though ‘California
it’s time to accept that honey monster needs to be locked away / I won’t allow my kids to touch cereal boxes anymore
being led into town by the King of Mixed-up Children / I drew fear all over your face with Australian chalk
Damon Albarn gave me a little bag full of plastic teeth that he collected in Africa / lassitude is very common on last bus home
the African civil servant was annoyed that her fake thumb nail had broken off when she was typing out a letter
I defended myself using only the tape from a Blur cassette and a bag of washing nails / African bingo
…so I didn’t record over my ‘African Cement Factory Jug Band’ debut LP cassette / ain’t it nice to be gay?
Bob Dylan’s new LP is called ‘Life on the Chalk Board’ / my mum just met Ivor Cutler’s toe nails
after the first hit (African prince floated past my face) / I took her in at 1.57 in the afternoon and held my nostrils tight
the termination of plastic Jesus / largo gal soldiers (she wiped off her war paint and went to bed with her best friend’s sister)
he left his bucket of sludge on the dining room table / trading blows with a hippy / proof of Dracula / I forgot to feed the gorilla
coloured zombies were introduced around 1978 / yellow urine became more prominent in the early 80s / sucking on meat
the baby floated down the cannelure with a large happy smile on his little face / Shiva has at least 3 sore fingers.
it is difficult to get a giraffe into a conventional sized suitcase / the surface of the moon is coated in jazz dandruff
Deirdre dreams of being the first septuagenarian to set foot on the moon / plastic teeth of pseudo Dracula / bum sybarite
Maureen dreams of being the first octogenarian to set foot on the moon / moonshine heartbeat (animal’s pulse)
I think I ruined the first date by scrawling ‘Kali – the Destroyer woz ‘ere’ on the wall on the way to the restaurant
ignore my chalk board face / there is a list of yellow things written on the back of the front room door / Alaskan heat-wave
Saint Simian discusses anything you want for 10p / have come all the way to India
sensational abortion / you must place the morsel of meat in your gob before you englut, Terence. / anybody can walk backwards
he removed his crush hat to reveal a beautifully painted chestnut-coloured head / crushed by sexual anticipation / white baboon
Mr Walnut came to say hello, but we were out / wipe the skeleton’s chin / that lovely smell of poo in the summer / the secret life of a cadaver
Piquant cadaver / Anybody can wrestle, you know / don’t admit to liking American stuff. / grown up like a Northerner
making it ‘happen’ with the Ghanaians / suicide squeeze / Nigerian dandruff / Morrissey dictionary / perfume dictionary/2. David Lynch Cubist missile crisis (dogs) / shaved doggies / I am Barry Nutmeg and I super-glued my teeth back in / my 9 teeth are slowly rotting away / new big prince around town (NBP) / Prince is a womaniser..what? /met an ex-Ted at Swiss border/ new French skin / charcoal sunrise / I gave God all of his best ideas/
3rd yr girls with swollen gobs / we arrived back to find the kipsie had been obliterated by the on-going war
screwed from behind on Christmas morning / Christian chimps / dressing-up for Christmas dinner with the queens
I should have cut my hair before sex / Clarence always wanted a nose job / he fribbled away all his fruit / doctor’s addiction
I wish people were a bit more friable / stop fingering my bible / I wrapped the baby in foil and placed ‘im in fridge
we kept all of the good gorillas in the front room, and the dirty ones in the back garden / tongues out for Les Bean
they mixed the humans in with the apes, and no one noticed / gorilla’s dictionary / the hoary teacher doesn’t understand pop
may I present to you America
all I wanted from my gillie was a reassuring glance from time to time / 1999 was a mellifluous time to be a newborn
death of history / ‘this is the echt article’, proclaimed the spectacles-wearing Sandy / the king of the limps / Prince’s lips
dense haircut / the laniferous men of Sheep City
people park their cars in your belly / inauthentic grins of the permanently upset / life of the balloon babies
we waved the flags, and they were promptly ripped from our hands / kids that live inside balloons / zoo helicopter
kings of Christian poetry / ex-jazz astronaut / fallen in love with the thumb sucker / a life without puzzle books is pointless
an immutable truth that you found written down on the back of a Chinese take-away menu / jazz dandruff /dense haircut/ dense teeth/
a list of children who were disturbed by the circus / apnoea sufferers in a heap on side of road / glad to be hot bitch!
I lost my mind in an Ethiopian bungalow / apodictic demonstration taught us how to make love properly / disturbed lineage
dead vulture on your plate / these kinky emotions / blood of the sea birds dripping on your meal / foxy in his duffel jacket/there’s no need to apologise for killing my wife..i never loved her that much anyway / the sweet smell of corpse in hot sun/
trying to avoid French people in Paris , Texas
broken out by the Sideboard Kings / he kept a plastic walnut inside his special box / set aside for the mutant
I don’t kill people I hate / mesmeric fat kid / a lovely little moustache on a teenage lad / baby on the sideboard
Christmas tonsils / getting laid on Christmas day / chuckling at under-privileged movie stars / Alfie is naked from the head up.
raggedy corpse of the mayor being paraded ‘round the town centre / father’s got his waffle shoes on again
6 of my top ten favourite friends are ethnic minorities!! / my head is too big for my bedroom / bedroom baptism
modern women often choose their own husband / sexual chin blisters / is it true that you sell exotic animal penises on E-Bay?
I got my diploma in karate, I wanna show it off to the women at the internet café / jazz waffle cringing at the winter surfers
I think we might have located Sugar Man / when I was a boy I grew an extra penis / I put my thumbs inside your gaping mouth
faute de mieux caused us to go out and kill some astronauts / life of a fake space gypsy / the restive corpse (in the front room)
we tried to attract men who were addicted to pork pie meat / I went home to find my boyfriend in a girl’s sailor suit
why do cops have beards? I buttered the jazz astronaut’s space suit to allow him to slip inside it more easily / solo burp
brave gravy / let’s invite the chubby kid / lent my proprium to gypsy Elvis / gravy dripping from a policeman’s beard
I handed a VHS copy of ‘Citizen Cane’ to the butcher boy, and told him to watch it after he had washed all the blood off his hands and feet / my lips are sticky because of all the time I spent kissing the sweet-eating lesbian / moon milk for space baby
watching the lesbian shuffle from the highest point in the village / grandma keeps cans of poison in her downstairs toilet
glamorous octogenarians being paraded around the city centre / I picked my nose 2 seconds before the queen walked in
deformed Tuesday / Japanese people will only accept genetically-modified kittens / spoonful of ideas / dead pimps litter the street
Darth Vader gets one of his slaves to polish his helmet / it took a trimester for us to pick out a new boyfriend for our son
raggedy Christian beards / maybe they crucified the wrong man / I’m jealous of your sandals, carpenter / dead man’s sideburns
tufts of hair on the chained-up corpse / American people look even fatter close up / origins of the dead / Ethiopian blondes
we made kebabs from the body parts of the left-over Christians / would you like to bite my little toes?
the janitor presented me with a bag of cuckoo beaks (waxed and ready to eat) / I fell in love with the cheesemonger’s daughter
stop out all morning with Drizzle King / 13th apostle / porcine luck / Christian blisters / I fell in love with Elvis 2
I fell in love with Elvis all over again / I tucked my tracksuit bottoms into my socks / it’s difficult to sit pretty if you’re ugly Daniel laid back down on the carpet and waited patiently for the hole to grow bigger /spastic fashion
/ what will the yellow triangle taste of? / two goblins, one called Captain Ankles and one called Yak Triangle.
Tea time for fascist / blind man at the buffet / Ethiopian computer shop / staring at blind people / baby inside a pencil case
There is another one called Oink Balloon. / used carcass salesman / learn how to salt your own meat / King Oink
retinue of wolfs / I don’t get on with my drill instructor / paracme super models on file
deep-fried lip gloss / boiled memories / kids are taller on the other side of the moon
I have always wanted to get the chance to touch the glabrous surface of Telly Savalas’ head / selling diet pills to chimps
perfect smile of the dead doctor (perfect smile of the dead dog) / I only remove my top on Tuesday nights
It’s just a snow brick, not something you hang ribbons around and stick in an art room / jazz shop reunion dinner
perfect smile of dead dog / dead dog floating around the car park / I paid for a blow-dry, not a blow-job!! / guinea pig pipes
..and then the decomposing dog winked at me. / atrophy on the top top bunk / jealous of sky raver / glorious rubber teeth
mellifluous little karate chops on my bare arse / stop talking to God Elvis / I was raised back-to-front / King Adams Kong
Elizabethan fear factor / Victorian death metal / drum ‘n’ bass first became popular circa 1887 (no computer jazz)
he told me the zoo-keeper was a sex machine / I like to jog with my penis out / sexy girls of Top Shop reunion dinner
Gandhi was upset because he left his flip-flops in the Top Man changing room / a blind man beating up a car park attendant
I jogged past the graveyard and noticed a group of zombies feeding on the flesh of a dead car park attendant
my brother woks in an Ethiopian sweet shop / I made my way through the thick crowd of gorillas / feet taste like chicken
do you get hedgehogs in Africa ? / this cuckoo needs re-setting, dad / energised by the sight of my wife in trunks
I found myself stuck in a box with a bank manager, a lion tamer and a prostitute / now the internet is chicken
caged men being fed chicken and candy / diluvian drainage systems / sex shop fire sale / lady of midlands shit hole
how can the devil tell when I want my glass refilling? / I tried, in vain, to persuade Leonard Cohen to put his gloves back on
Licked off before supper / supernatural birth / I need to finger the Urologist / thickly spread on the turtle butter / damp fries
Apotheosis of Lionel Diamond / we smoked the leftovers / purple grins of old men / today I met an abecedarian Rastafarian
second hand job / I only feel happy when spending time with Billy Electro and co / happy faces at hippy commune dinner-dance
Elton John always requests a monkey on his rider for ‘emergencies’ / I just killed a jazz fairy / Mars fauna makes me hungry Chili dawgs always bark at night / I scrubbed out the fat kid’s diet board / I welcome porn stars of all varieties / cuffed dentist
the chav’s waste basket was full of used lottery tickets / I addressed the porn star as ‘honey’ even though her name was Mildred
would you like some of Ginola’s dandruff to take home with you? / crippled species resting in the sand dunes / insects in my ass Dean Floyd and the cavity kids / promulgating outside the local Burger King / I am still not a vegan, Erika
I just found a goblin in the sand dune / so what is ET, Keith? / electric shampoo / dashing thru the graveyard (avoiding zombies)
the Japanese cannot grow very large moustaches / Pakistan
my dad recognises the futility of acting macho / I just erased all your memories of the astronaut / no Stacey, I am not a spaceman
I traded a baby cat for a 50 cent wrist watch (with a calculator and shit on it) / fired into the air like a rocket baby
Elvira in the graveyard showing her flange to sailors and the like / how to paint like Rolf Harrods
learning how to fall without hurting yourself (by Pink Floyd) / enter the bloodhound (through the back door)
trying (in vain) to convince the bus conductor that I am a teenager /Mr Benny got lost on Mars / cubist household
filthy video (I forgot my name again, mother)/Glorious Russian pros / talking ‘bout the New Testament Blues/ river bed baby / men who live inside hollowed out rocks /
dip your chin in the ice bucket (chin chiller) / glorious bastards from way back when / I barfed up on my sister’s Roxette LPs
Straighten your pubes on Christmas morning / Christian enemy (Bangkok gristle) / Caribbean comb-over / I got my plastic dog in my damaged / Everton three Arse nil /Caterina refuses to dance to anything except the 2Unlimited remix of ‘Lucky Carpet’. death row memories / pub rocker at the jazz festival / my dad only goes to jazz festivals to look at the stylish women
the movie ‘Race with the Devil’ inspired me to take more chances / chinless super models (are the best) / the man who wore gloves to bed / side-parted at breakfast/ the day I stopped believing in Jesus Christ / I fell in love with the bully
a sideward glance at the ass hole / girls are more inclined to get loaded than they were in ‘my day’ / he could tell from smelling my fingers that I had been putting my hands in the blancmange again / sniffing dogs on Xmas morning
Andre 3000 slept with my wife/ my first Alsatian chamber / stretching out in the luxurious coffin / Australian in direct eyeshot
Human remains in the Bad Sugar / pretty gypsy / gypsies are known fro being beautiful / council estate teeth
am I entitled to a free hand message? / Gordon the baby made the old people feel young for the day
I predicted that Gorilla Monsoon would be shaking in the morning / furry helicopter / why do you support QPR, dad?
Daniel the monkey made the old people feel young at heart for a day / the defiled streets of Old Leon / toothless baby
dank eighties (I know I should own a computer, but I don’t) /short fingered body borders / crepuscular baby
the day they turned their attention to the tropical dogs / is it a necessity for babies to have support chains?
there are no damp patches on the surface of the moon / as requested- here are some photos of the dead boss’ bones
there are no damp patches on the surface of the moon / as requested- here are some photos of the dead boss’ bones
I painted my husband’s face before we set down for breakfast / girls with glued-on faces / the day we boiled the pig
these days I sleep on a bed of meat / annular love-in / 1888-89 sex show records have been del. / Sister Vinegar came to say hi
are babies supposed to have chins? / Tina Turner likes to read books on the shitter / Cramped conditions of coffin
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