'Yoda's Cream Pie Year'
'TPB Unmasked'
'TK K Void'
'Take me to the Fish Counter'
'Modern Fringe'
'Paris Norfolk'
'All Night 30'
'Mince 1'
'Things we left in the cupboard'
'Wednesday in the Mid-90s'
'Tap Water 1'
'The 566 Madonna (Victoria Bowie)'
'I Hate Computers'
/ Texan reflexes / deer eerie and the dope fiend
he cleaved off the boss' head to stop him from harping on anymore than was necessary/soft-core animalistic jazz solo / perfumed in bed/nice to have finally made your acquaintance, Merman / Sid James was born in Nigeria (to Jewish parents)/
nice to have you on board, Merman / valedictory hand-gestures have not changed for over 173 years / Elizabethan water sports
the 100-year old donna (g) / Australia
the more The Bible is preached to me, the less inclined I am to believe in it (I am quoting Dog Raspberry here, folks)
x rayed dreams / I mainly dream in blue and green / smoker’s trough / the lubricated army / swollen face of Bunny Boiler
I was able to positively identify Christ as, when I was a lad, I carried a small drawing of him in my wallet / gut snake blues
Getting eaten by zombie was made more bearable by hearing dulcet tones of nearby operetta performer / bearded shoulders / a noble sin, Peach Geldof / Peaches Geldof taught me how to enjoy American sports / why not sink your teeth into a bit of meat / my trousers are made of cobra skin / the fifth astronaut felt like a 'spare part’ / gloves off in the morning (at the breakfast table) / tableau of the hanging / I fetched myself home (wolf in trousers) /
we spent most of the summer admiring Richard’s white teeth / memory of the dead horse/ sweet ordure / fields of urine
the glaucous cheeks of man pulled out of ocean / cosier dead end jobs / the mere memory of the heat wave of ’81 made me sweat
80s laughs / I never trust men with elongated noses and red beards / Kurt Cobain is alive and is living in my block
my life in the pit of silence / if you want to drink blood, it is ok with me / my life in the ghost bushes
there is me in my onion soup / my uncle likes to shave animals in the night / surreptitious shave
here is my new idea – eye on the Innocent X / fashionable x taken away from Jug Baby
postcards from Larry Mullen / U2 are my 1756th favourite band from Ireland
support your fallen comrades by wearing too much make-up / Madonna’s face-mask / did you know that Michael Jackson always carries a bag containing rich tea biscuits and out-of-date train time tables / Cold Shower presents ‘Get Your Hat On’
Yes Leonard, you can come down to the sex show immediately / I hid the rare stamps in my son’s ‘Green Day’ cassette box
farded policeman (ponce on the beat) ANA – how can you live like this? – Bethlehem Poetry Club / addicted to erotic fiction
pumped up like that bloke from the local fitness centre / calling card of a Croesus / turned on at Muscle Show
I was strongly encouraged to stop reading aloud from chapter 07 of ‘sins of freedom’ / look at the sun; why is it blue?
NISA (how can you live like that?) / ankle-level rats (spoilt sweets) / New Indian Sweet Association
the cream of the future / I AM NASA / the absurd death of Tall Paul / it’s not easy to spin records, Carl Cocks
Merman played solo on his rusty jazz trombone / ‘Kaged Killer’ / legend of the Jazz Fox/ punk called Giles / pumped up like a bloke / my virgin wife / it’s not easy being a punk when your name is Giles / 1 in 3 men are called Kevin /
Drip blimp (1. R Dogs theme 2. random pop) / caged French boxers / blind man’s inducement
please remember to disguise your countenance before entering the house of ill repute
…and then we noticed that the android was weeping actual tears / we piped discordant jungle into the classroom
Rod Hull
I left All Saints pub by the back door and went and saved my sweet heart from the wrestlers / can you remind me again how many queens there are in ‘Take That’ / ‘take that’ said the angry bar man as he slapped my robust cheeks / pretty ninja
a pensive glance towards the filth-covered mendicant / nice arrival suck boiled sweets / pieces of Jesus / fat backdrop
the headmaster was unaware that I was sucking on two boiled sweets / three fingers held aloft at Gamma Skool
I felt like an adult when I was given a small glass of liquor instead of the regulation boiled Indian sweet
I killed the tsar and was rewarded for my efforts with a fruit basket and a voucher for pizza café
Administering torture always leaves me with a sickly sweet yet metallic kind of taste in my mouth / African frump
hold on tight to your memory of Fish Kid / I will never lose sight of my granddad’s jazz trunk / the rainbow was the father
list of tasks 1. sweep the charnel house floor 2. pick up saw dust and place in hamster cage 3. throw away all of your old rags and filthy hair brushes / a comprehensive list of all the nanny’s I have helped across the busy road
My daddy tried to convince me that Elvis was black / I gotta get out of Hades / funky walnut
…men trying to fit their hands into children’s gloves / for my next trick I will remove my assistant’s gorgeous face
I turn off the incessant car alarm which has been ringing for over 3 weeks / my penis is not suitable for this, David
fall down at sight of XRS singer song writer (unusual-looking baby being paraded around the city centre)
he didn’t get his fair share of sanity / sanity towel (maybe it’s the Muslim sector) / carefree brushing of curly hair
a goat staring into an empty cereal bowl / W1:- cowboy shampoo / the historical sex show / action racket kink / confirmation that this video contains footage of the creepy baby / sucking on a Thursday morning/ancient day out / sometimes my wrist eel itchy in the morning/
I chatted to some geezers on the train. Among the topics we discussed were; ‘football’, ‘birds’, ‘work’, ‘romantic poetry of late-15th cent. Florence
I sat on top of the moon waiting for the Sunshine Kids to sell me their spacesuits (TOR)
drawing the flat-skinned, toothless, mucus-covered new-born with a pencil that Salvador Darjeeling gave to me when I was 5 yrs old / hair-covered mushrooms (edict of the Fungi Gods) / 91 per cent of library books smell funny / ordure on the caravan wheel
the TV never told us that the surface of the moon smelt like rancid cheese / dunked under the water by X-king Doom (E-)
we wrapped the baby snake in an old towel to protect him from the elements / I don’t give a shit about baby Max
men with dark stubble sitting in dingy pubs drinking strong beer / hardened drinkers petting their tiny baby owls
Conan the Barbarian’s kid sister came to stay for a week or two / the fidgeting Mandy / the glorious head shot
the books never told us that the surface of the moon was littered with small rock sculptress / fraggle menu
Is it true that you spent last month writing down your memories of the Village of the Dammed? If so, I would be delighted if you could share these with me. You will find me at the Café Rouge (Red Café) on Norfolk Street
only my fifth cousin knows the true identity of the puppet master / I took the betting slip from the infant’s corduroy jacket
sad clowns make me feel uncomfortable / uncomfortable in the factory jungles / god’s gift to bare knuckle boxing
swollen smiles of the uncomfortable jungle dwellers / ambitious corpse / guilty flowers in arsehole / sizeable arsehole
picked up a copy of ‘I Know the Horse’ by Janet Jack Scum / creeping around the abattoir with a torch and a fork
smacked between the eyes by Jackie Lennon / biblical paradox no. 463 / Salvador Dali was a chubby infant
Outrageous death of Mr Fang / the slow death of Albion according to dramatic bloke from TV / live for the fist
I live my life with my head in the smog / the deaf dumb and blind acolyte / spoon in the mud/ I never met an actual gorilla
driving around Luton with the infant cowboy / horses cannot draw good pictures / my girlfriend is a parody of a queen
Image 01 – ape in a helicopter / I love to eat sweet corn for breakfast/at least there are no clowns in the jungle / jungle emancipation/
a vulture’s tin can cup was given to me by an ostrich / floating bone / Duck Joe and chutney-munching polio sufferer
80s were a good decade for getting laid if you happened to be a member of a successful (or at least semi-successful ‘new romantic’ pop group / sizeable infants / A century of square-headed babies / the man with diamond s sown into his forehead
misogamy is an affliction of approx. 83% of the male population of G Britain / forged cuffs / the auberge was probably haunted
I rested my egg on the captain’s cheap gut / the world is full of stinking demons / torched ice cream van / inside someone’s belly
what’s so weird about using the internet? / you know the IS pull off your own legs / I rested my head on the captain’s fat gut
we made love in the burnt-out cinema and then had an ice cream (which was melted) / trapped in an African speak-easy
whenever I feel low-down I think of Louis Armstrong’s beaming grin / greasy sideburns (WSP) /hospital treatise was all fiction
1. without a doubt, my favourite peripheral ‘Goin’ Straight’ character is ‘Timmy Whiskers’ / spoon in the road
Billy Whiskers always gives you a clean glass.. that is why I come here, father / we are apes, are we not?
we made love in the burnt-out caravan carcass (what’s the point of ‘the internet’?) / the dead internet / the Hi Life and Jeju cassettes kept us in high spirits on the journey home / Me, Picasso, and Other Ordinary Kings of Cuntdom
jealous eyes among the summer sunbathers / drifting slowly in alcheringa high / I disentangled my self from Mr Hair
I would describe myself as an Englishman who doesn’t want to be English / after seeing the clockwork monkey, I never though about sex in the same way again / bemired youths of Shropshire / Madonna of the pinks always makes me smile
you can’t leave your head but you can shoot it right off / pissed on tonight / morning revenge blues/ I decided to give my ‘Best of Jandek 1963-65’ cassette to my favourite niece / I knew you would look after my teeth when I was out working /
sitting on the kerb with a cup of hot chocolate and a pack of cigarettes / my baby got oysters in her pockets
I very much doubt if ghosts can actually fly , Morris / going shopping for jumpers with a 95 year old former electrician
Tim Whiskers taught me all I need to know about antique biscuit tin forgery / echo in stereo / parallel spaniels
nobody really knows what to have for tea / 70s TV stars have mushy faces / Lego on my biscuit / merge. footage
the stentor actually turned out to be quite meek / Punjabi hand job / swollen faces of the decomposing / ancient glue
sitting in old person’s house with your face all screwed up in a ball / Lego blonde / did duck hunting change the world?
my front lawn is littered with long-forgotten manically scribbled posit-it notes / twisted Beatle fans make me feel nervous
going shopping with a 94 year old former electrician / the smell of heterosexual breath in the morning (or afternoon)
my father should never have got involved with the Onion Glove Racket / a man in tight Armani suit chatting to a toad
the painted lord / farded publicans make me feel nostalgic / kebab crawlers / reptant babies freak me out / I cut out a picture of a young girl on a horse (on my way to the burying ground) / looked out at hanging ground and smiles as I chipped away at my teeth / a crushing blow to the hipster’s self-esteem / dead before the production begins / one man and his finger puppet / I often take the easy option when looking for a mate / selfish scarecrow / your pussy tastes better even than butter / homeless eye balls / I cut off my hair to make myself less attractive to you / I loved you ‘till you shaved off your beard and moustache / everything that lives under my bubble knuckle / I will lie on my belly and think about you / I crave to wake up and not have to wash my hair in a rain puddle / taught a lesson by the modern preacher / a bag of ‘Seaman’s Cat’ cassettes given to me by the preacher / I was introduced to God by the man in the salmon trousers/ running away from robots / I lined up the cabbages and I shot them one by one / Nick’s knotted fist / I traded in my air guitar for an air gun / I am me and I look forward to the next thing I write (buzzing around the shopping centre) /
I was suspected of being a ‘European’ / we plied the queen with cakes and sex tapes / the black cracker and me
genuflecting in front of a hoary old sailor who you have never ever liked / Japanese happiness / welcome to World War One
it was only my itchy head that lost us the war / Rachel; it was the pilgrims that ruined our marriage..not us / beautiful wolfs
massive dad’s moustache / glamorous puss is ‘on line’ now / we poured gravy all over the blueberry muffin / lunch time fascist
murdered hairstyle / men who look like women repeating the word ‘blossom’ ad infitum / jealous men called Dog Horse
life with the Sugar Demon / women are envious of my wife as she is tall, thin and has a big bag of painted eggs
now children, this is a serious question; who do each of you prefer..Mighty Sparrow or Lord Invader?
Homophobic members of the royal family were lined up and shot (in my fantasy)
allow me to gussy whilst you go and fetch the banger / death of Mark E Mark
painted Africans (Lemonade Head) / russet-haired kids surrounded the Sofa King / the thought of another man listening to my ‘King Crimson’ cassettes makes me feel angry (another man is living in my flat) / those other men who try to steal my best ideas (such as the one about the three brothers who had a competition to see who could grown the biggest and best moustache)
sit down, have a smoke, and pretend you are not English / Great Britain is only about the 66th best country in Europe
King Henry IV had a penchant for computerised jazz / deleted 1 and recall ginger OW Norfolk lad (20-something)
the day Mighty Sparrow told me about his journey up Thunder Road
my husband handed me a scummy old cobra for breakfast / Betjeman’s breakfast consisted of (deleted by authoriser)
Hoary Muppet quote no. 02 – USA Cream Land
a list of trulls I went with during WW1 / Joe Orton was my 61st favourite playwright of the 60s (effortless limp) / big faced Jesus
beef on the sideboard / I am quite grateful to the Sandy
Mechanical Head – The Spirit of our Age / I refuse to show you the notes that George Michael made / GI Fried
Ringo Spartan and the Black Seagulls / floating up to heaven with Dennis and Kid Kia-Ora / in the garden lives Patio Sam
clouds that resemble faces make me feel melancholy / jazz abuse makes me nervous / nervous of the fur-covered girls
A curly postiche once owned by West German World Cup winner / stentor in my bedsit (big sister blues) / the abnormal ditty / flask full of blood (yum) / Arthurian hair piece / days out with the Lobster boys (AFOTV) / bearded loser (of course) / novelty death /Skelton in the space ship /dusting off the cocaine (back on cheese burger hill) / his teeth were not clean enough for the photo shoot / shot out the back of a YM at speed / babies called Keith / hypnotic orchestra / we found them feeding on fallen flesh / fall of the Night Skivers (space race orchestra) / the jazz that sound tracked the nascent space race / passive astronaut
a date with fur-lined Simon / every NYC punk group had at least one member called Simon / taking tea with the fat-faced sheik iron curtain sex pot / behind the onion curtain / I just bought Joe Orton’s old fur coat from on-line auction / a pot of sex
the twisted psychology of Sugar Muff and Jack Daniels / I gotta get my foot out of the butter, Maureen / modern Sherlock/ Captain Jingo (UK poodles) / salad options / adult crap / fist of butter (luxury gums)/Capitalist jig (harness dolomite close) / horse-drawn pictures / trying to make light of the vulture’s bad breath / lost in the gloaming with Riverboat Sally and Simon Twite / fingered gorilla / Maureen’s sweet breath / crucified eternally/ Bradford Cox smears sunscreen across his face and tells ghost stories to a group of kids wearing printed button-downs and fedoras./ my holiday with ape / Sophie is a bad choice of name for a cowboy’s son / I gots to get off the butter, baby / dog boy and the butterfly / hippo’s orchestration / gorgeous garbologist (coated in shit) / Albert’s crusty collection. / is it still illegal to perform voodoo on the moon? / that legendary dead hoss / farcical cowboy / perm worm / the day we fired off some missives to the slag / abhorrent scholar / blind man wearing lipstick (AKA farded blind man) / corpse in the acid rain / I wrote my dentist’s number in the back of the bachelor’s notebook / truth seaman / teeth like piano wire / soaking in the acid bath / disturbed by the future / he dressed in a way which suggested he had never seen a bull dozer / harmless killers / African spasm / hammers, nails, cuckoo beaks, frosted cereals etc. / did I tell you that I bit my tongue off last week? / what shall we call today’s fish head / look at Fred West’s rubescent cheeks / killed by Gwar / the electric priest / legends in the heatwave / coco beats reminded me I was a long way from home / I climbed over the fence and showed my neighbour my new teeth/ children were disturbed by the heavily-farded countenance of the school mistress / duck saliva is a good cure for nephew rash / I requested golden onions, but you bought me silver ones / my balls are delicious, woman /
baby-man in the mud / selfish pipes /you can’t take your eyes off the flying lizard / my space-suited baby / abandoned Tuesdays
trog at my nan’s house / pulling on the hair of the new student / witch slap / edacious orphans should be locked in cages!!
I atoned for my mistakes by phoning up the Sugar Baby and telling him how bloody lovely he was / my girlfriend became obsessed with the idea of making little tiny suit jackets for coconuts to wear / Bear Claw 2000 (recusant teen on last bus)
if only the internet had been round in 2001 / shake off the Jack Scum / I received a dainty hoss at 4.15am
we knew it was Luis from the thyroid eyes which he had on his face / Oaf and the Duchess of Sanyo / we wipe out the rockers
river runs with blood and spunk / he shook off his corduroy slippers and thanked the gathered crowd for their generosity
Bridget’s magniloquent boobs / people that are stupid usually enjoy playing computer games / my new moustache (look at it)
I found the village whore weeping in the village hall (& I noticed she was clutching a smashed tennis ball) / Bobby Sanyo and the Forgotten Orchestra / damp trousers in the sand/new home for teeth / bland animals /
I strongly advise you not to kiss the trophy before the competition commences / smashed rulers (this knobless century)
she had her teeth removed to stop herself chewing her finger nails / I emailed Binky before supper
the twitching foreman / lentigo-covered super models infesting the catwalk / tight lips and school house trips / the bogey war
my sister takes great pride in her collection of used Elizabethan shampoo bottles / father christened him the ‘Dundee Cake Baby’
I greatly admired the beat poets, but I wished they would get dressed! / gin and tea cakes is a special treat for the grandchildren
my great grandfather kept a note book detailing every fil de joie he went with during the Boer War / zebra of war
background Latvian (plus background Czech) / punk’s breath / I used to love to play with my grandma’s plastic moustache
clay man missed the boat / filthy clergy /my furry vizard / itchy memories / pre-modern sexual positions / Antelope, king of jazz
my earliest memory is being rocked back and forth by an ex-wrestler / terrarium beauties / post-war come-down
post-fight come-down / Stallone is sucking drugs / Kangaroo steam / frozen for the future. / coach house blues
we move in adagio fashion through streets of Bedfordshire / admiring the death-blues / Christmas tits / Christian tits
Bolivian hand massage centre (Wolfroy cassette playing in background) / chubby fuehrer is erupting bastard / peanut jazz
age of enlightenment was a grand disappointment / we moved towards the attractive gals pell mell / dead men tell the best tales
ancient steam engines of Mars / effortless death / we covered the spare room walls in cardiopulmonary-related diagrams
Dutch Chicken Orchestra (this came to me in a hairy circus dream) / he fried ‘imself up for the hungry kids / German removals
rubescent faces of fuddled Russian reminded me of my favourite uncle / they spoilt a perfectly good war by introducing computers / …when we were exotic / I tend to concentrate better when I have my orange baseball cap on / toaster boy
the wobbly bottom lip of last citizen of Salt Cake City
osseous fingers all over my body / Egyptian blisters / astronauts with blisters on their finger tips / sack of jazz / cardboard horse / I found my long-lost sister sitting alone in a derelict cottage in the woods /
killer’s fingernails / who wants to sip on calid milk? /I found a small photo of Chairman Mao in the pocket of my wife’s anorak / bespoke crow skin gloves / I swapped my ‘Fist of the North Star’ VHS for a copy of ‘The Rough Guide to Leaving Your Lover’ / sexual itch /
I left my collection of Jandek cassettes on the back seat of Dusty Hoffman’s Toyota
we drove stakes into the happiest of couples in a fit of jealous pique / gurning children on the bottom of the ocean
go to bed, sea creature / egalitarism does not exist where we live / dead miscreant still troubles the Ga Ga family / blue gravy
it was futile to attempt to mop the child’s brow with Hulk Hogan’s sweaty vest / Pants off for 80s singer songwriter
everything he does to seemingly help the old folks is actually done mala fide / pert undercarriage / we sanguified the salad to make it more palatable for the cannibal / my girl is on the pomace again / fat men wearing check-shirts / days out with Zod
the high from LRP is not as good / lemonade swan song for my blistered feet / the cute mouse that I keep locked in a box
fat sweaty fingers all over my wife’s bum / I coated your bum hole in creesh from last night’s roast dinner
I spent over a third of my adult life attempting to write a sequel to ‘The Curse of Gopnik’ / second-hand moustache
it’s dinner time and Monty is still in his work clothes / duet with Death / sex positions in American camp erotica
Chicken Heart Joseph / the day the man removed his head in public (Christ is a bit too fussy)
Prince Percy- the human flamingo / spearmint echo / getting naked and famous in Toad Hall / limp-wristed rejects / …take care, Aunty X / cave men couldn’t draw for shit / I closed my eyes and thought about the nude girl /
I spend a lot of my time surrounded by buck-toothed super models / dipped my dirty thumb in the gravy
creeping around the pool hall looking for dropped black balls / I got dust in my false beard
everyone wants to growl at the sunshine / cats thrown out of eerie chambers / gay wotsit / jazz moustache
Balancing children of the Queen on top of your head (to amuse the arm wrestlers) / I prefer Caledonian witches
the glabrous surface of the octogenarians head had a calming influence on the angry teens / crackers and chromosomes / who wants to spend half their natural life staring at the moon? / the selfish harvest
memories of bicycle ride with Keith, Menadue and God Rockstone / reciting primate poetry to the baad girls from ‘back home’ / common deaf psychology / we try to make every lunch break an opportunity for love wealth comes to the dead quickly and surely / reciting the pink poetry verbatim (to an audience of vegans) / cruising around the cemetery looking for dog ends / a map to help you find the wax effigy of Jonathan Walnut (not Paul S) /
I don’t wanna bleep; but it goes off every time we meet/ on a rocky planet, I gotta get a handjob from Janet
Siamese twin with a massive hangover / hung-over on the dead beat belly people train
Whistling at the sexy mountain goats, I gotta keep my scarf round my throat / blind man went missing in the night
it must be lovely to be the only queen in the Rolling Stones / stentor on the bullet bullet train
it must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and realise you are in The Rolling Stones / banker’s rupture
come rise with Elton John and Bessie West / perfumed dead folks / the man who molested honey bears
I feel compelled to sketch Young Dylan in the middle of the night / sweet crepuscule tingles / swollen goat
paltry recompense for the death of a good sailor boy / beautiful lynch mob / sex with Bessie / memory waltz waltzing with men whilst I pretend to like Jung Fu / catchment area of killers of animal fuzzy animals
we laid a trap and sat back and waited (with our fingers up our asses) / the day my boyfriend got a haircut
imagine the mental level of someone who watches wrestling / one-legged cetologist / gummy children in Norfolk
Ozzy Osbourne was replaced by a lady called Mary who wore long flowery skirts and had a massive mole on the end of her snout / my dad is the lead singer of ‘Hawkwind’ / veteran drug addicts spinning Hawkwind record and reminiscing about various orgies they indulged in the 1960s (crawl) / I rang up to ask your dad if I could fill his show room with beautiful ex-girlfriends of King Patrick / the inevitable corrigendum included the word ‘nutsack’
I spent several hours listening to Dandelion Ruth cassettes and smoking Azerbaijani hashish with the older brother of signer Kevin Rowlands (I’m sorry; I can’t remember his brother’s name) / Hollywood bowl cut
Pablo’s idea of beauty was very different to my own (I am not English) / stolen dream of ganja-smoking teen
the thing that defines me is not my Beatles haircut you know / is a walrus a fish? / golden bowl cut
his hairstyle reflects how he feels about the impending ‘War of the Damned’ / leather-clad men called Trevor/playground bones / playgroup jazz/knocked Orff Fabio’s hat and then ran away / childish stubble /
I am surrounded by men called John / we introduced the game of bingo to the newly-discovered tribe / tribal fart
I keep Dracula’s teeth in a small golden bowl / the place where God froze his nuts off
Trevor McDonald is beautiful / birling ten year old girls in South African shopping mall
why do men with three eyes always seem to take a myopic view of contemporary politics? / damaged beards
I only eat meat for pleasure / I wore my mum’s ear rings to the village fete / 15th century hired surprise
time to shave off that beard and reintegrate into society, father / Seric gents eating fish stew with their fingers
strolling around with the dead man / Caribbean cassette shops / fat men wearing ties / kiss the ground Beavis
‘thank god I’m an atheist’ / Caribbean atheist / William’s fingers have fallen off slowly / I wonder how Christ smelt?
one conclusion I came to after watching ‘Life without Meaning’; life has multitude of meanings (the tea party echo)
why not cut off your father’s tie, girlfriend, why not? / amusing malfeasance in drab school canteen / ginger wrist
World War 3 was a massive let-down / waiting patiently for the advent of World War 3(with the stuffed-doll man)
Mars was a big disappointment / ‘bark’ remarked the small pooch as we took away his favourite bone / baby’s stubble
a reformation of sorts before the eyes of Greaser (SM no techno at Greaser’s Palace) / neighbourhood bastard
Australian fingertips / relinquish your grip on the Honey Monster / stubble on a small child always makes me chuckle
the infant was carrying a small bag adorned with a skull ‘n’ crossbones motif / jazz in the afternoon whilst smoking good stuff
Is Paul Simon now using the firehose? / baby shouldn’t have tried to climb that huge mountain on his own / beyond the haircut
it’s your choice.. an orgy with a bunch of supermodels or a trip to the African spice museum / this zombie knows what he wants!
did Zola Budd have hairy feets? / Lassie’s ball bag / I gave my only copy of ‘Disraeli Gears’ to the crippled fat woman
I pressed that little flower you gave me into the back of my bible and then handed the bible to a small African princess who lives above my dad’s Korean bodega / leave your job as an ambassador for the Bolivian people and come and be my thumb assistant
put your hands on my whisky bottle and I will surely destroy you / the day I moved in with cats / jazz cackle
he was too kinky even for France / I never met a dog I wanted to stroke / took ‘round the back by Mr Shifty / grown men who carry dolls in their briefcases/who put Paul Simon in charge of the fire hose? / giving away ‘Fire Hose’ cassettes to children aged between 15 and 21 / come rise with Elton / I filed down my teeth before taking a bite from the decaying puffin / ageing gents with fish stew remnants in their beards / hair and moustache / whacking down e's on the happy bus / I took out my black handkerchief and wiped the blood from the sook’s forehead / they day the octopus became the big brother (French grin) / slime –French grin (persistent cough)/ordinary portions / blind man at the buffet (CAN) /
I gotta get my head together before I meet The Crimson Priest / very time I eat a cube of sugar, I tend to get randy
ace zip scald (photo-shop heave) / dead astronaut floating in a pool of lighter fluid / Chinese humour leaves me cold
he considered himself the ‘King of Cling Film (in German only)’ / I spent my morning smoking dope with the sexy GI’s
cold whisky leaves me feeling bad / bad Deborah (jazz reggae flowers of summer) / I drowned in a little bit of whisky
I inherited Billy Preston’s capacious drinking vessel and filled it with fresh milk from my jersey milk cow / Scat Man’s dream
a butcher’s love for his animals / defeated meat / the loneliness of the ugly bachelor / the millennium worm
why does that horse-headed man keep coming to our house and staring through the kitchen window?
jazz scat very cold hand Keith Richard Hell / and then he ran his fingers across Malcolm’s feminine eyelashes / venereal footage
steaming grease always reminds me of my year in Hell’s Kitchen (QL) / plastic bastards / I pour gravy all over my droxy
we keep Zola’s fake finger nails in a small plastic box / Shoo-in in the bath tub / a brush with life / chicken wife
top ten pernicious acts of bad people from USA / he wiped the madras from his lips and gave the homeless man a big kiss
I don’t want to fall in love with the village worm / recalling the perfumed voice of Harold Sea Brush / homosexual landfill
the man who had more teeth than good ideas / I would never presume to actually be the King of the Gods / jazz rash
here we go Channel 04 dynamite finger nails covered in gentleman’s ordure
my favourite aphorism uttered by the King of Tramps was ‘I do not need a castle to be a king (for I am King of Tramps)’.
why keep Shola in a show box, Big Gregory? / who still loves having sticky fingers in the morning?
we tried vehemently to deny the existence of God, but it was no use.. / lacerated heads of the All-New King Babies
we cannot deny the love we feel for the scummy bachelors / we offered him steak but what he really wanted was hamburger
they airbrushed out the baby’s more offensive features (i.e. his bristly moustache) / a butcher’s love for his animals
‘Holy Ghost serves a writ / sports day in slippers / nauseating crime-wave / Danish prevaricator
handing out little pills (those little pills) to underground babies / these underground moustaches / I actually was naked at the mike I spent over 10 hours making love to the Jazz Festival volunteer / genteel foot soldier / bland fingernails of Western women
diamond crust (economical eyeball)/ absonant girlfriends in the school of Volunteerism / Chinese reflexes
life on the hot line (queer pace) / we force-fed fishmeal to the starving soldiers / volunteer’s eyeballs / lip-synching to ‘God Save the God-Damn Queen’ /
sitting in a smoking room with Oxlade Mayer/ muppet haircut / I gotta go and find the Cash Cat (money for pussy)
The Guerrilla Press / amazing drugs, Norman / safe room for Kaiser (cheap blowjob from bus hoe)
Blue Karen took a small amount of poison and then waited for the kids to arrive / turned on by eternity
waiting for the walrus to come back with your slippers / Chinese people have stringy moustaches / customer’s gravy
growing old surrounded by the young ‘uns./ the priest who was unable to summon up the energy to flog himself in the morning
I boarded the Mexican bus to find it was full of corpses who had somehow escaped their coffins / taught to be boring
is it true that your son had a tiny role in ‘Hoppy Serves a Writ’ / mashed up on a Tuesday afternoon / deleted seamstress
…and the following day the devil himself stopped by to advise us not to go to church this Sunday
we live in a world the devil, if unable to tempt a saint with a pretty girl, will fly him to a disco
inside the mind of the last great poet to survive on Demon’s Inch / A man smokes cigarettes whilst petting a dead donkey two. (Waiting around for blind elephants to arrive) / Scene 06 – a man is crushed by the weight of expectation
Character ‘A’ is portrayed by an actor dressed in a way that he would be recognized as Jesus.
Scene 5 – a man tries to avoid onrushing cyclists whilst composing a symphony on his electric keyboard
Glorious re-entry / Dirty but Perfumed helicopter / Chinese chin-stroker / exulted mobile porno star / death on Assumption day
dead before advent of peace / dead before peace time / buffalo shuffle (do the) / hot Russell / African whiplash
the glabrous surface of the dolly bird’s face / EF lonely gonad / keep climbing down the perpetual staircase
smoking good shit with a Dutch rabbi (are we all walking backwards for a reason?) / talking backwards on the phone to mum
I cheered myself up by looking at the photo of a monkey in a jumper playing chess / watching a video of my first break dance
I am pleased that Japanese boss is stopping me from speaking English / silence in the ‘moon’ / crap musing v - car kid index
looking out the window at opulent palace filled with gay dancers / androgynous people sitting in cafes in France or somewhere
they roped off the area where we painted the corpse / my dad was Egg Man / lost girls called ‘Florence’
Does this sound familiar to you, Dustin? / gay men dressed to look more heterosexual / piano bones/ I kissed my wife and it felt wrong /
the devil tempts a saint by taking the form of a beautiful woman; the saint is duly tempted and ends u patronising jazz clubs and smoking Gitanes / I wouldn’t expect anyone to make friends with the man with no eyelids / butler’s handjobs / life of an eyelid / too many idiots on the moon / I have always preferred Gregory Peck with a moustache / gentleman’s libido
.. in this scene the astronaut shits himself whilst trying to fix the spaceship computer system / fruit warzone
vision of Baby Wolf / E-Bay Baby / give me some sheep skin / the drummer lost his mind during solo / massive dad
I found my son’s seditious poems and immediately read them aloud in the public square / beards open the chess board leer
doomed to some kind of half-hearted success / the obeisance was unwarranted but made me feel good on a superficial level
I quit eating meat in the daytime / I could not stop farting during his drum solo / energetic ghost / F Mercury was right all along
Daddy Bloodsport immediately turned his eyes away from the cute bunny / guvnor’s thump / postcards from Hades
faces in the mauve frames / he threw his silver medal in the river and went out for donuts / sons of Thriller / the butler was dishing out handjobs to the rest of the staff / hands off my armpits (they are really sweaty) / governor’s ‘look’
I picked my nose on last time on the way home / we spent most of Tuesday dancing in our bedroom to ‘Thriller 2’
toenail post cards / I dream of seeing chimpanzees in petticoats / all the floating dead animals / damp fruit (bubbles)
the devil in part 4 / I noticed that his filibuster speech included a repeated occurrence of the words ‘storm drain’
bidding vale to the freshly-crowned teens / a friend of men called Norman, Jack and Trevor / Tory Story 3
my best cully will be dead by the age of 100 / wagon rash / gollywog breakfast / fantastic fake meat
we excused him by claiming he was but a scion of this awfully violent society that we are a part of / modern bondage
I just found your missing boyfriend in a skip in Norwich (where the hell is Norwich on earth??)
Unsuitable thumbnails for a jazz musician / rethinking the torture regime over a pot of tea
I appreciate that you’re trying to kill yourself, but I really do need my rifle back / Japanese pipes (soup museum)
we love the losers much more than the champions / get your filthy hands off my anorak / my new boyfriend has a cinematic chin
I ended up surrounded by Spanish people called Keith / record chare (duped dude) / stupid Tuesday / the doomsday whistle
a semi-accurate account of the last fist fight of the night / zombies have rather bad breath / Mr Piss is reading my mind
my kid sister had an extremely inimical reaction to the arrival of the circus (she abhors clowns, jugglers and men with waxed moustaches) / a once-glorious man is walking around Tesco in a piss-stained anorak / lost in France or somewhere like that
I spilt gravy all down my best anorak / impressed by acuity of mind of octogenarian ex-infantryman / filth-strewn memories
it’s a shame about Mr Smarkle / butcher’s look / nostrils on a goat / Swedish killers are not as rare as you might think
I played my tape of Swedish rockabilly outfit ‘The Killers' to my old grandpa..he kinda liked it
dusty jacket wearing scholars make me happy / ten min. hand gesture / scolded by lover / there are rectangles on the moon
Minuscule children who like to take rides clinging onto the tusks of woolly mammoths / upset by young lad’s aggressive spruik
it is so sad to spend your life working in an office / go get a light indigo fever eruption / I’ll never get bored of Prince
the smell of the fairground makes me happy / minuscule kids who live inside the trunks of prehistoric elephants
the drugged gentlemen insisted they were astronauts who had recently visited a previously unknown planet called ‘Trunk’
keep away from the bobby soxers, son..they’re trouble / infant request jazz library / ancient fist / Egyptian fragrance
why not wrap your arms around the vampire / perspicuous stories from the outer reaches of what was ‘space’ (but is now filled)
I only wear eye make up when the kids have gone to bed (fruit bubbles re-energised the orphan drummers) / jazz breast
Ecstatic flesh / I want you to get down on your knees and lick the strawberry ice cream off my toe nails / skunk nod
The insipid blandiloquence of hoary school master / beaten up by perfumed boys/ ononism makes teen feel low down
Japanese women always have nicely manicured finger nails / boredom in far reaches of the school halls
I got my photo taken with Hans the German chimpanzee / championship chimps / man called Terror
‘that gesture, it will haunt me’ whimpered the spoilt kid / girls on the moon / upset by exposure to prehistoric elephant trunks
sometimes you just have to stand on your own and shout at the wall / is x x x the forgotten movie footage?
shout out something along the liens of..'today is Tuesday, I want to be alone and free’ / P-p-p-punk rocker’s life as a walnut
new musical called 'Gay Janitor goes to Brighton’ / the glee on his face when clandestinely selling daddy’s dope / chubby bones
we decided not to outlaw demonolatry for the time being / outlawed crows / we slapped the gorilla / ape parade / ageist parade who made you the moral arbiter for Team Sunday? / too skinny kings/authentic gorilla / authenticating the veracity of my son’s birth certificate / for my school project I recited the entire script of ‘Julien Donkey Boy’ / my biggest regret is not asking out ‘Petula Jones’ / the beautiful traffic cop (BLP) / BNP fashion sense / I have a thing for mingers / golden box contained the following:- ‘plastic finger nails x 10 + dead fish (preserved in wax) / defunct troll / homophobic maps /
the only thing crying into your beer will do is water it down, son / the smell of the fairground reminds me of my ex-boyfriend
that gap in your memory can be filled with footage of unicorns and tarts in leggings / bastard's wish list / eyes like candy drops
sensate beasts being awoken by drum ‘n’ bass from passing Vauxhall Nova / carcass of a drum ‘n’ bass DJ
my mother’s rodeo eye / big men eating cucumbers on the train / I coated my face and fingers in butter and waited for my boyfriend to arrive / my hair is short but I’m still the BJ Hippy Kid / I filled my flask with pineapple juice and headed off for the beach ./ I always ride my bike backwards these days / I coated my hair with gee and went outside for the first time in 3 days / I cuddled the corpse till it broke / secret horse / chat to me , I am a gay/one of the astronauts left a half-eaten peach on Mars / crispy men on the moon / a gorilla will make and play a drum kit if you leave him alone long enough /
we live inside and with xmas demon / the world’s first fictional depiction of memory cakes /kicked out of Stan’s bedroom /blank space – modern world (?) / snaking into the kitchen at 3am / he conducted the orchestra with crippled hands / crack open a new bottle, sweet Tony /
Gorgeous George vs the eyeball thief / Matchstick Adams and the cry baby
Aggressive Monday (I wiped my dick on the back of the curtain and combed my hair with the dead man’s best comb)
I don’t live on Earth no more Jackie / dead sun (hello to the wadi dwellers) / we froze our memories of the good bird
caged Care Bears / I slowly removed my tongue from the frozen countenance of the Ice Monkey / tin can baby / the Marvellous Melting Monkey (don’t worry boys, he will be fine) /
I rested my chin on the rotting buffalo carcass / the children of Chile ere all holding hands and signing folk tunes
dip your yellow fingers into the reunification bucket / I presented Queen Bitch with a framed photo of herself
you can’t wake me up by saying ‘wake up’ in a sussurant voice, Bile Sucker / gap memory year / goosed by the fat infant
I learned most everything i need to ever know on the set of ‘Death Serves a Writ (PMU) / cowboy at the Jazz Festival
there are only two types of people who really enjoy karaoke; slappers and the Japanese / Japanese slapper / dumb Terminator at the spit reel / hold on to my little pathetic fist /(and worry yourself to sleep) / I am willing to let you have 408 Japanese VHS recorders (which I cannot shift) for a bite of that Sunday Pie / I thought Julien Doneky Boy might try and smile occasionally /
I fell in love with with red head singer from ‘Major Bowes Amateur Hour’ / crocked champ / bitten by the cutest critter of ‘em all
I bought a bag of nails from the man with the sour face who sits in the pub and moans about things / timeless moustache
oleaginous substance dripping all over my PC / fire legs /Laura Logic set the earth on fire with SS / original rot
iconphile collects pictures of rotting banana skins etc. / secundum Arab Strap lead singer everyone secretly loathes sex
I met my new doxy at the German antique market / hand out dogs to passing gitano / Cindy was my brother
Foreign salads make me sick / I love Japanese girls but I hate Japan (too many robots) / sexy foreign drawn-on eyebrows
walking around the castle wearing cardboard slippers / trading mice for tigers / foreign finger nails look better
forged moustache / 15th cent. Indian sweet collections / don’t forget to dip your fingers in the chilli sauce /black man’s cat Hubert’s spooky nostrils / the D Lion timer / amnesia made me remember to forgot my identity (tomorrow’s television)
zoos full of dead animals and living dreams / heavy droop poet / £100 crush / naked robots / sleeping outside of the box Tumbler’s army / sex sex sex / why did you put your veg in the bath tub? / imaginary Hebrew / voodoo shoes / copying the fashion sense of a UKIP member / take out your teeth and suck a hard boiled egg /
Christian tub-thumpers sinking into Monday’s mud / edition 6 was a bunch of crap / glimmering Hebrew
fishman was dishing out blowjobs to the new arrivals / tea time wank / grandma’s fangs / I was disturbed by his rubber fingers
Post-modernism and what it meant to the dying fishmonger / killed (and relieved) by Jesus II /sir, I have reason to believe your beard is a forgery / I forged my sister’s birth certificate and lived to regret it / fat steps home / the journey of the fat bugger and his skeletal dog / my tank top got muddy and, subsequently, I got punished by my mother / HMV HIV /
why do alien beings never have beards? / beards are so out-of-date, Hannah / cured by love, sweat and blood oranges
I left my dream and re-entered reality and quickly realised that I was not wearing any trousers or underwear
jealous of king’s slender nose / the teenager was completely naked apart from his gas mask / girls with THAT look on their face new boy fingers (tank hat and trouble (a) / trying to copy a teenager’s hair style / her hair smells of drum patterns
don’t slap the devil / combed hair reminds me of childhood/ Zoid eventually came to say hello / trying to get high in the ground
tell the story abovo (don’t skip the introduction by ‘Duck Ramsey’) / devil in Brighton UK / jazz filth (50 3 Dali lives)
3000 year old drug addict if you know what they mean / we disregarded Vic’s suggestion for today’s special vegetable
I said ‘welcome to Bum Town’ when I meant to say ‘welcome to Booker Village’ (She is a man) / the billion dollar handjob
Freaks Sunday Freaky Sunday presents ‘how to love your dead girlfriend’ / gay in the posada (dancing in a suggestive fashion)
Escaping from verism / boxcar for junior / Doc Honky’s seven rules of summer / bring your purulent chops here, teenager
we tried in vain to convince Gordon that sunshine was not a miracle / I stopped signing ‘What is a dog?’ many yrs ago
trying to recollect what life was like before the invention of paradise / Nigel needs a face lift, mamma
my girlfriend sued to make wigs for moomins (to enable them to integrate into society more easily)
reciting Victorian suicide bomber memoirs to the new kids / junk tripe – trappings of shallow fame
Jocko’s bite (do not forget this..write it in your pocket book) / it is probably time for Mamma Cassette to retire
the bearded librarian was fidgeting on the last bus home (it transpired that the digesting was due to him trying to fix a broken zip on his jacket pocket / the dog rockets of the 80s / plastic smile of TV host made me cringe / life’s her ray
men with beards walking past clean-shaven goblins and thinking that maybe they should have shave when they get home
village of the permanently impressed 20-somethings / doomed haircut / little Russian children trying to be less Russian
modern boredom permeates every corner of society / the doomed traffic and the caramel atlas / Childish Sunday
drug the memory / a feebel-minded werewolf sitting with his hairy legs all folded up / jazz dandruff
trying to avoid eye contact with boys who call themselves girls / filthy leftovers / rock is filthy
went to get a burger with big slag / hairy cream slag jaws (slag) / policeman’s claw / bummed bandit
brave youg men encouraging girls to leave their partners (by making odd mating calls) / nergy peoep
whore’s hot breath tunred me on /death from piledriver / hairy leisure / turbid cheeks of dead models
avaricsm tramps have hard time / whippet funk / funky death / ‘who is your favouriote cartoon pirate?’
‘middle class death’ is obligatto / consumed by death / moving forever forward for a taste of a king’s lips
lickerish Count coming on to my sister / I have my own thoughts on why Jesus left us / whore’s clammy fingers
yes i know this was mentioned in (insert date here) / but i didn't want to repeat myself (J)
the cowboy looked rather lsot wandering around the inuagral jazz festival / drunk aty the birth rites recital
vanishing imps of Lincolnshire / I wrote your name on ym toe nail / the daily kef /free jazz 4 men called ‘Ian’.
Just keep following something which (L). / permanent claws / adjunct lover (breath of onion)/music hall stunners/ I stroked my beard and cotnempated the seafood menu /
the history of pea eating / onion history (year end anxiety hotline) / hot fossil / faceless fat people
he read aloud my disquistion on the problem of modern manners (or lack of) at meal times
Gorilla wearing no make-up looked more human / kids for biscuits / let’s make love and pretend we like each other
trying to slip out the back door of the church with the blood you got from internet millionaire / keep an eye on the prodigal son
jealous of the prince’s beautiful little teeth / are teeth still made of milk? / damn your Hebrew eyelids / slippery when sanguine
the flesh-eating SOBs / I recall Billy Preston telling me which way it was to the Thumb Sucking Theatre / timeless wolf
Karl Marx always wanted to be an alcoholic / homomorphic pals actually did turn out to be brothers / dead eyes of LV Summer
I celebrate nativity of Muse’s daughter (yeah) / it’s not a good idea to fall in love with the enemy / Hollywood shitty bag
mashing with your mum’s daughter. / smiling at those dead people who are on permanent display / naked before bed time!
it’s just you and the hip hop community keeping the memory of Benny Hill alive / thought patterns of the dead
the lady who fell in love with the man who flashed at her in Central Park / lonesome death of werewolf
it took me a long time to eradicate the memories of Friends’ Death / jazz oyster / livin’ with the bitch
story from mouth of muppet no. 01- skinny priest (priest sticks his hat to his head with sticky tape) / damp knee caps of troll
Mellifluous music made your penis mushy(mashy) / video is of devil / spank the traffic (foreign troll) / huge foreigner
motorway blindness / he stubbed out his cigar on the porn stars ass cheek / superman on the furry motorway / storm drain baby babies of storm warning / I usually only date supermodels in the morning s(when they look more like normal women)
don’t say everything is material (RP - VDU Voluntary Death Office) / king for 15 hours / there ain’t no toilet paper in Russia
Michael Jackson became addicted to fish paste / snow-coated sunbathers / Egyptian candy floss (yes, I am 6ft 8). / I just bought a stuffed owl from E Bay which was once owned by a guy who used to know a man whose father worked in a greasy spoon cafeteria which Elvis Presley once walked past (perhaps) / Ernest Hemmingway’s beard is making me itch / confused gorilla itchy body bag (body sack) / chubby children sitting around eating candies instead of playing sports / itchy breath
his breath smelt like a pet shop / sideburns like rashers / his breath smelt like a swimming pool / created by death
stubbed your toe at end-of-year party / celestial 80s (head like a wrecking ball) / the 80s made me feel itchy / roof-top slut
we decided to welcome in Rocky Fortune anyways / WW3 babies / you should obviate bad boy from coming round
tell me what part I should play, sweet lord / cynosure mime artists make me feel bleak (pop slut) / 90 quid dream
the harsh aquiline features of Miss Coro made me feel uneasy / marshland pit stop (rain beans)
I spoke in great detail bout my past life as a rain-maker / temporary death (permanent death) / don’t kill the edaphic-dwellers
the broom cupboard was full of ‘Sparklehorse’ cassettes and ancient manuscripts / Madame Claude and the brand-new bulldogs
we decided to eat the Anthony and leave the bigger ones for the kids that were the hungriest / efficient hang men
grown up apes forcing their way into the White House / buffalo chips or daughters or sons / graveyard smashers
Tremendous face of massive murderer / I shave doff my fluffy eyebrows to make myself more attractive to the Columbian birds
even the use of a megaphone didn’t make him audible over the din of the drum and the bass / I live for my fat stomach
the day most people’s heads fell off / alight like Mr Fire / I allowed Christ to kiss my blisters / perfume on a prostitute
I turned down the Indian butcher because I am a vegan. / Scarlett Ian and the rare scarecrows / honorary moustache
I actually managed to sell a dead horse (to a French chef) / we deleted the factory / there are small monkeys on my TV set
adipose bachelor sitting on an unctuous couch eating piazzas and watching poor quality TV / king of the night before
alive before breakfast / dead and alive fashions of 1988-89 / we gave out pizza to the corpses / little disturber
talking to a ghost on the ol’ Ameche / I blew out the nostrils of carefully-constructed GW (new terminology used)
a rencounter with your abandoned dog / fashionable haircuts are démodé on this planet, Charles / Rubber ghost
we laid down some plastic sheets and proceeded to saw off the old man’s legs / ghost catcher 2000 / politically correct gorilla
I woke up covered in fat man’s sweat / more grub for fat bugger / I inserted a sausage in the sand as a marker / fake F mouse
grown-up apes never use microphones / it was all achieved by using fake fingers and an elaborate system of mirrors
the unimaginably bad smell of fetid corpse (no, don’t try to imagine it..it’s futile) / altogether in toe rag gang (again I thank god)
feminist on the corner / I met Miles Davis and the first thing that came in to my head to ask him was..'what is god?’/we abandoned our fashionable haircuts and went off to work in the factory / civilian in plastic coating (plastic fur)/
The Broken Joseph Show (inside another man’s bible) / Oh Ria you have gone (ginger beard fear) / fear of ginger hair
I am big fan of wool gangster shirts / the night before the sexiest harvest of the year (the year) / onion coveralls
I placed my treasured back issued of ‘Bubble and Squeak’ in the care of Mrs Door / a wank before breakfast / modern bulldogs /
the thoughts and ideas of Wired Richards (when wired) / bitch senior / down the gym with a hard on/ the sook was mesmerised by the talking chimpanzee (off the TV) / fondled by Daddy Phillip’s pink and chubby fingers / space-age rag / tiny helicopters flying around the sitting room / Training a chimp to talk (backwards) / I glanced over my shoulder and noticed that the Croesus was now wearing a golden fleece/ the cat who skinned himself to save time / knuckle posh knuckles./my dog sniffed out the emu and we took his eggs and feathers / I am back..this time to kill your son-in-law / mincing around the graveyard / forgotten 30s / he draped his silk cloak over the bachelor’s bleeding fingers so as not to disturb the passing school children / dear butcher, please don’t cut off my hair / I tried on the crown of thrones at lunch time / wet my trousers again last night / chin wagon / wagging my chin provocatively in the teenage disco / wet rot disco floor / grinning at space aliens / chatting to a pansy on the disco dance floor / the pansy tried to convince me to swap my ‘Kid Rock’ t shirt for a ‘Buncey and the Sail Boat Men’ t shirt..i refused flatly /
he got through a whole pack of ‘Senior Service’ whilst contemplating the nudists / Ethiopian Wednesdays
‘Wire’ are my 18th favourite group (sandwiched between ‘Glass Otter’ and ‘Ship Finger’) / limp-wristed kings (not queens)
Tubby children should be kept away from the cookie jar and introduced to the fruit basket / arbiters of new factory planet
I believe illegal immigrants should be able to eat as much fresh fruit as they like / locked-out syndrome / now I am TV schmuck
I put my viands on the table and allowed the hog to gormandise every last one of them (OHWG –GFP) / The Famicom Owl
I sketched a picture of your ex-girlfriend for you, dad / don’t tell my wife that I keep my toes in grow-bags / energetic goblin
My 3 1/2 week old baby gave the artist all of his original ideas / babies in the grow bags / I am a beautiful monster
amor fati was applied to enable the furry children to come to terms with their unfortunate situation / Gandhi’s minder
Grinderman in flip flops / here comes old oyster breath / I am addicted to feeling joyous / movie stars are, on average, trigamous
we sat down and felt happy at the though of the beautiful Paul Robeson / is a faggot a cake? / Arab cake / cured by sunshine
the day I chewed on some poisoned candy for a bet / a better life with Queen Elizabeth / a 2 year old child asking ‘what is god?’
footage of billy club-totting babies made me feel uneasy / village trog (sitting on my back seat) / Baby Soldado at X Festival
from now on every child over the age of six will be forced to chew a predetermined brand of gum ‘Mr Chewy’ / we entertained the Borstal kids by showing them recently filmed footage of a goblin on a bike / footage of a skeleton eating pies /
I knew I should not have changed my name to ‘Mr Chewy’ / most days I choose to help Roy Small cross the busy street
what do you say when your firstborn asks you ‘who is god?’ / mercurial sports men having a day off / my first passenger of the day was nervously fingering his crumpled ruck sack / I immediately regretted shaving off my sister’s beard / French padre Saint Basie is circling around my family in a fairly sinister fashion / I sat twitching in the midnight sun / dentate spectre
Search:- was god a robot? / I prefer the company of dogs / quilted undergarments make me feel easy / do dreams smell?
human bones lying around in abandoned ships / the man with a fag in his mouth is slowly floating away from the stage
took my lady to the meat theatre / he lives for that zombie / dusty face of library dweller / stinking breath of canal dweller
the emperor insisted that we placed a paper bag (preferably brown) over all of the ugly baby’s heads / Columbian vamps
don’t deny anything until you have thoroughly studied all of the available evidence / tight pockets of teen / pancake batteries
I use most of the same methods that Jesus used / garnished with blood / sanguine garnish / festival of future / rural moustache
we are the monteurs of the universe / the ape sat surprisingly still while we painted him / 10 x the fun if you strip naked
The Queen had a bogey hanging out of her left nostril / we proffered a posit to the square head and hiss ass. / I cry at babies
the boundaries between good and evil are so blurred these days that many people actually idolise Old Scratch himself
where did all the Children of Rancid go? / you need to stop drawing x’s on your hand, dad / sheep forecast / magic shame
‘Bug a Boo’ is my 71st favourite ‘Destiny’s Child’ song / kicking against the pricks is still the thing to do/ you can tell he is my son..look at his rotten gums / I give my baby son sweets, tobacco and fried goods /
where did you hear all that mother jazz? / children will simply not eat grapefruit / caged androids (CW?) / pink fluffy lover
dolphins can be quite nasty actually / CSNY tapes floating above the abandoned graveyards /life.. it’s better with snake charmer
handing out Poseidon candy to the orphans / timeless curly haired orphans (in Buckingham Palace)
I swapped a ‘Meat Puppets’ cassette for a ‘Veg Doll’ CD / off the bone love making (18-19)
The secret clinic (girls out of love with their boyfriends) / Buckingham boys club / sober dolphins / kids are scared of his muddled countenance/ flesh dropping off the gods /
agraphia sufferers learning to talk over the phone correctly / yes to sex / my 30s make-over
Dandelion and burdock for me and half a pint of Geese milk for my hostage. Please. / disturbed by man who can talk backwards
the American wrestler’s suicide attempt was averted by the promise of free leopard print bandanas and a night alone with the hunk by my side / forever damaged by singing nun / crunchy Christmas / men underneath other men’s sisters
the fast-food enthusiast kept a notebook which detailed every restaurant he visited; the top-rated according to him was ‘Big Jack’s sloppy ribs’. / half-eaten car park attendant / a light dusting of dandruff on the albino’s shirt collar
I spent several minutes discussing the future of reality TV with the King of Hong Kong
Victorian men were often ashamed of being in touch with their feminine side / the Jazz Kinder (Half-formulated niceties)
the future changes and then we are forced to re-write history / seven bearded babies / triumphant hand gestures of the Americans
rancid dolphins (not all dolphins are friendly and nice) / Sugar-coated tonsils Trumpet Drug drum solo / fear of scenery
the sobbing drummer / hard on on shuttle bus / fear of fake scenery / I met you on the last boat to freedom /morning is mythical
the Pinteresque Christmas Day family gathering / listening to light metal in-between meals / radio-friendly death metal
stuck in space with a fat girl / my ass hole is not needed ‘round these parts / cucumber sticking out of a corpse’s mouth
golden teeth belonging to teenager / triumph in the graveyard / swollen triangle / sexy at Xmas / bucolic graveyard
chronic songbook / even more gay than leather-clad wolf / stop-gap handjob / big honey lap cat / golden death
death in Croydon / baby robots squirming in the sun / the day we danced all morning / foreign nosejob / the man with 2 gobs Perry Gland spent over 10 mins explicating his reasons for shaving off his moustaches / gink in the White House
Eric Clapton was found washed up on the beach, covered in seaweed and old beer cans / Taunt the devil / my holy buddy
I shaved off my beard and went off to track down the Summer Beetle Kids / I still believe that the shadows are reality
trick shit (adiaphorism shall never die out around here) / curly-haired kids eating sweets and chatting about war
sialic-like substance found inside the dead crust / I have a reason fro killing the sleepy / we taunted Caged Amos / blind date (I sure can smell you, though) / visions of a dead snake being eaten by a hungry toddler /
we took the caged concubine and put him on display in the school yard / Joey never lies when his nose is broken
boneless sleeves and memory rocket / I like your bones better broken / selfish drummer does another dumb drum solo
actually, the devil’s main rival does have rather hairy hands and feet / dead students squirming in midday sunshine
New movie title is ‘King Elvis and me and everyone else’ / mopping the brow of the chubby child / Roger is back, kids
Imaginary sweaty walrus / a reasonable chance that the jazz solo will end sometime soon / scarred hotline / French corduroy
derived from death / kinky classics / four dead citizens we float on the authority of the Roman / ZX Sex wolf
my dreams taste of ice cream and jelly / legacy of ZX Demurs CPT / the day they shot the head of JFK / doomed flowers
my mother let me marry the shiksa after I plied her with wine and liquor candies / is it rude to spit at the mendicant?
the aliens were rather surprised at the lack of humans they encountered during their time on earth / ranch teeth
propriety does not exists anymore on the tiny inch / verdant teeth / those lions seem to have such a good diet
my hands are too big for my arms / you are a plastic cowboy / post-death tryst / meridian wank / feet too big for a baby
Captain Gerome made me fully aware of the deleterious effects of drinking poison. / bog man come home / life in the Peter Bog
‘hang the DJ’ cried out the disturbed clubber / stuck-in-traffic-wank / I and my slave baby / African violence centre
hair collectors have been banned from over 90% of Spain’s barber shops / trying to get my hair like how Morrissey wears his
put on your summer boots and come and enjoy the group hugs / DJ Lung Shagger is back on the decks / shallow extortion
why do hippies always own cats? / my head keeps unlock I keep leaving my head unlocked / got a rash like a cowboy
I had lunch with the mahatma and dinner with Lindsey Buckingham /talking crap whilst stuck in traffic / youth in the bath / fashionable tits/ the day has arrived when it is fashionable to have man boobs /
a polar bear’s frozen beard / my grandfather amassed a large collection of African sex toys / banned from the sucker parade
I deleted the journals and turned my attention to sweet peacock / my son is at the cratch again / beaten up by a man called Jane
I wish you were more like Stanley Unwin / lack of probity in Ugandan government / Jim Henson’s cupboard was full of dead moppets which disturbed my nephew / ugly chanteuse singing the hits / children with coconut bones should not be fed
a paucity of breath prevented him from going on to the main course of the love-making / Albanian volunteer / rats smell of roses
I drew little smile acid faces one ach of my 28 knuckles / I am sordid teddy boy / my new boyfriend strongly resembles C3PO
if there is a male train then, surely, there must be a female train / trained to have impure thoughts about bearded gentlemen
I’m rather fond of William’s gut / ZX heterosexual intro music - tea tree error / ZX 2000 Fabian illustrated using hands + feet
the American wrestler’s suicide attempt was well documented in both local and national press / E Bay Gun (not allowed)
my mum has over 16 original Japanese ‘Kid Dare’ DVDs / e bah hot rats (sucker punch sucker thump) / fish on a skateboard
Marky Mark had me baby / they always go for the eyeballs / concubine junior / the time we forgot to save the dandy
DJ Smacked Arse’s latest mix cassette is a heap of steaming crap..discuss / footprints on my girlfriend’s face
get stuffed on man meat / I love your countenance and all the hairs on it / absitomen, dear children / farm foot / hands on a ghost
a vicar whistling provocatively at a female builder/ a female body builder being shown around the makeshift kitchen
angry jazz / keeping mum in a box cardboard box / charge of the chocolate brigade / famulas of the Gorman / German mixed salad (Stanley Unwind)
I’m hiding from nothing (I’m just hiding for the sake of it) / the hidden curtains / muddled birds / comforting crack
‘Lollypops and Headlocks’ was a shit title for my autobiography. I realise that now / looking at bums on the train home
even the morons can sometime lay on the beautiful ground, huh Chuck / choking on bones of the dead (luxury eyelid)
he celebrated the birth of his child with a pineapple and a cup of hot tea / milk my eyeballs / Modern Shirley
discussing the subtle differences between life and death / rumbling guts suggest bad curry / calvary orgy / limbo baby
trying hard to think like Tiny Lebowski / the hole in the roof stops them from getting out / where is boiled in the bag boy?
the squalid champion / I dipped my fist in quid / 4 giggling 7 year old Indians / the people that live in the giant’s armpits
the streets were patrolled by imaginary lions on horseback / I often dream that I can see colours that are ‘off the spectrum’
inside the mind of an idiot savant / take Lionel back to Britain and show him the inside of what he is missing / ghost stubble
we performed a masque for the heiress, and after it was finished she presented us all with some golden eggs to take home
we brought in some grown-up apes to amuse the politicians / there’s not enough room in here for you and your beard / limbo biscuit / clubbed by a seal / I remade the pilot episode of ‘Twin Peaks’ using people I had met on the train home / cup of man’s spittle / a love note to Howard (the man beyond the moon) / a fish eye in my soup bowl / harassed by the Japs / it’s a bucket of slush. Pappa / I remember the day I saw the sea cry / weeping sea/rare screcrows / mysterious Chango (2012)/random pictures of Simon / 100 yards to hell / I put the duck back to bed and went off to buy more Chinese vegetables / golden blind fish / fragrant dump / dumped all day / I’m too busy to pick up the abandoned fingers / human dog /boneless empire/
the men who carry perfumed beards around the yard / be bop banquet / roped off for the benefit of Jesus / fingering the future
ah yes, a cup of tea helped make it the ‘ultimate day’ / Bulgarian ink Vimto / sex on candy drops / kinky mephistotles
I don’t trust the following groups of people: 1. people who prefer animals to humans 2. people who don’t drink 3. people carrying sanguified rapiers / death does not matter to a god (killing gods is my ting) / mesmerising shtick of concubine
there is even less incentive to get a nosejob now that I am the last man left on earth / honing in on bone bag / kinky skank
what is art and what isn’t art? – ask the ape. / how to take pleasure from a graveyard in winter. / Croc histoire / skanking on ice
Kid Neptune and the ancient boys of Atlantis / puppy engine / yes I would like to shake your foot / the emperor inside of you
in the belly of the absurd (with the gross pointy heads) / Alabama plum pudding recipe typed out by my new bird.
standing in front of a beautiful painting of Andi Peters / birth of the Space Ape / pork rifle / Chip Monk / I joined the army to get a good haircut / chimp monk (I am your brother) / I attempted to record the mountain sounds with my cassette recorder and a cheap kid’s microphone / I am bleeding because I have been kicked out of the Fantasy Gang/ wearing flip-flops in the snow / gang of wizards (with tattooed ankles) / I’m attracted to men with cracked teeth / here is what I am searching for in ‘a man’... diamond-encrusted teeth, big round eyes and soft pink fingers / tattooed in the morning / girls with large bottoms make me feel good / I was presented with a big bag of muck and a small wooden effigy of a pigeon (to put on my dash boar) / kids with fish in their back pockets shall not be admitted into the art gallery/ extant corpse / crocodile toes / vegan in pyjamas / death of a man’s man /
I demand at least one doxologist in (or on) my team / Moron’s breakfast (fried goods and a lot of butter)
island full of pickled Londoners / she slipped off her kirtle and climbed onto the back of the meat truck / Western tits
here comes a pointy-headed man, not from San Francisco, but from Birmingham / back with the red kids / rags on a baby
we tried to persuade the janitor to let us in my offering him a bag of counterfeit bones / bountiful trip to pseudo Treasure Island
if I said I loved you, would you jump off the bridge? / two women I really adore:- Mary Gulliver + Sandy Robe / baby bullets
wild big man says 'shopping for people with no taste is easy’ / forgotten sexual positions of the 18th century / biscuit tin babies
my favourite artists in numerical order:- 1. Richard Mutt 2. Daddy Hell 3. Cyril Bang / banged by the porn queen / fish imprint
why are Australian Road Punks always so god-damned violent? / ad interim we will sit here with our feet in the air / Linford Christie unpacked his lunch box and laid the contents out on my mother’s best rug
the salt dog took out his ‘Guided by Voices’ cassettes and laid them out on my mother’s dining room table
saving my best lyrics fro ‘King of the Bad Kids’ / he insisted on calling my hard mates ‘love’
I auditioned for a small part in Jack Cock’s latest play titled ‘The Horse in the Swimming Pool’ / does Easter have a capital e?
most everything I do say and think is informed by that Bukalski poem I read when I was young / I prefer British curries
most European men prefer to wear their hair ‘up’ / why do American kids have to act in such a twee fashion?
Mancunian candidate (I left most of the form blank as an act of protest) / promoting the Scarred Cowboys at the fashion show
my boyfriend was hero of the beaux arts / sank corpses / dreaming of a world where monkeys are my pals / slag of the day
you leave my Woodrow Whycutt alone / Jazz Skin – the baby Madonna / Jewish Scrotum / pining up photos of the baby Madonna on my mother’s boudoir ceiling / devastating psychological problems suffered by French surrealist
1920s cab driver in my bed / the girl who simply could not wait to discover death/ nearly every action is inspired by that ‘Cold River Classic’ poem / afraid of being reborn and coming out as an ant or a pie / I am hoping to eat a sandwich fairly soon / buggered in the morning / second hand job / my smile reminded him of his late boyfriend /
I feel like a king at bath time / naked from the head up. / drunk on promiscuity / life on the light continent
blind man at the microphone / skewed eye Jackie / my best mate the pansy
Johnny spent most of Saturday drawing up a comprehensive list of dead ex Raith Rovers football players
dismissing the eyeball thief at cocktail party / land of the massive small people / dangerous lifestyle of a beast-child
my life was changed by reading ‘The Diaries of Bobby Ball’ / streaming shapes from African jungle / communal moustaches
14 people called Ian in India, 21 people called Neville in Sudan, 62 people called Brian in Mauritius / slag in the community
I’m 38 and I have never seen a newborn baby yawn / yawning before and after sex / stuttering stentor
would you like a drop of arsenic in your morning coffee? / triennial wank /taking tea with a NY Prick
Reminded about the Flower Twins with PG Wodehouse and the Lovely Lad of Brixton / children of Face Book
pick off your new child from the dummy tree / I realise know why I dreamt of girl with minuscule baby (FB)
lost your way in the makeshift graveyard / gossoon confused about his place in the New World
we found the ledger containing details of all the voodoo ceremonies he had carried out / get your chickens out , gents
Seaweed-coated old men wandering around Kentish Town / this one is for the sex pistils / conservative bongo player
my head is full of traffic reports and memories of perfumed file de joie / snacking on ancient vittles on TV / bon vacatia trinkets
dinner-time for bandits / sitting on a brick wall with achilous teenage boy / I wished I hadn’t fell in love in Shrewsbury
Robert Louis Stevenson quickly regretted shaving off his nice soft beard / the man who couldn’t digest shit / shrieval outfit
truckling infants make me sick / making love with a screwdriver in one hand and a box of candy in the other / birth of beast / ..the diamonds that keep spilling out of your mouth / rotten space shuttle couch /
my head is full of memories of supposedly ancient astronauts / would u like a drop of milk on your coffin? / memorable wank
if you show signs of a flair for ribald humour, you have a better chance of becoming TV show host / men called Yes
habilibated to cut off peoples legs and ting / merman toasting in deep-sea disco / B) life of an abecedarian / C) blue-eyed puffs
whilst the other girls danced and chatted I read my first edition copy of Strange Life of Ivan Osokin / bleak appendage
the Top 50 bungled operations, tonight on Channel 04 /haunted by ghost of an idea / we spoon-fed Moon baby / greasy moon we fed the kids with damaged sushi and Japanese rice cakes (out of date) / legendary bachelor / sugar-coated puffs
he unlocked the back door and slipped away with a handful of sex tapes / my mother the muffled horse
I always reject advances of supermodels / most men’s decision making begins with a stroke of the goatee beard / jail spice
everyone pities the claudicating sports superstar (whom is clearly in a considerable degree of pain) / jazz puddle / jazz jungle
we were welcomed into the salon by a very butch-looking deodorant salesman / growing into a furry child / storm drain humour
we sent our sons off to find the author of the latest volume of Bone Poetry / headless dogs can’t bark / busty dog / filial ugliness/ everyone can appreciate a well-groomed pit pony / Dutch beard / I lost my self-esteem whilst under house arrest (actually it was bedsit arrest) / I found a pound coin on the pub floor but decided there and then to not pick it up (Dutch honey)/Ezra Pound Blues Vol. 04 / the many moustaches of Billy Thornton / moustache on the moon/ cash for moustaches /
naked men all piled up in the back yard / the day Man Ray got a cut on his head / jazz accidents. / Balkan tank blues
wide-eyed bastard in the fish tank / school yard hoodoo / I popped an E into my stir fry (E Wok) / bubbles from the moon
slag on the moon / chit on moon / uber slag/ lair’s teeth / beef teeth / fish tooth paste / telling jokes to dead people
teenagers dream of Wolf Angel / NYC teens sitting on the sideboard / I got my thumb stuck in a cottage pie / confident chicken
I have to be careful what disparaging remarks I make about ‘Spandau Ballet’ when in the company of new romantic baby
I disregarded the Xmas onions / there is nothing wrong with snacking on honey before a shoot / pies are not fattening/ I will probably stop twitching when the war is over / I am not modern..i walk like this because I got shot in the Forgotten War / biscuit for a beard / / I am not modern..I have always walked like this
if I said I love you, would your heart melt like a snowman in a fire? / we persuaded the mendicant to be the van / smoking fags with the daughter of the swamp donkey / vision of a brick wall which has had the words ‘pudding basket haircut’ spray-painted onto it / I prefer women who have bowl cuts/ Beatles vs King Babba Band / I’m considering switching sides when the war is over / blanket baby band finger / dog in the town centre selling ceramic bones and other trinkets / collectable bones / bus stop kitten / why do drabs always hang around outside my bedsit? / smacked buttock politics / I formed a gang which only admitted people who had had cosmetic dental surgery / getting foolish on a Monday / Sunday night hard-on /
here come Candy Fist and Ancient Star / wheeled out for the benefit of the fresh-faced octogenarians
I often dream of men with cabbages instead of heads (I dream in French) / heterosexual pastry / gloves off for Milltown Kid
calvity doesn’t make you a social pariah like it did back in 1973-75 / modern bones / unaware of the qualities of gypsum
the boy who sanguified his toes every morning before breakfast / all-true tales of Bethlehem Joe / beautiful iconoclast
we shall not miss sloughed former identity of Mother Killer / beautiful Irene / you should not fall in love with canal Baby
Perambulatory dosser symposium / the joy of the eagerly-received gypsy benison /Band of Livid Gypsies
I was castigated by my sister for getting a fashionable haircut / de mode haircuts of the local tribe / childish biography
layette won’t fit Massive babba / gay cupid/walking thru the desert with splinters in my toes / buffalo spoon / my grandfather had a deep love for sea cake / biological trump / swapping rude poems with the sea cadets / I shaved myself and then met up with my fellow mud wrestlers/moonage baby / sweet sugar pussy lips / the splendid bandit / superglued your face to the side of the Irvine Plaza building / glued your lips to the Brill Building /superior beings being taken out tot dinner with space men/spooky coconut / begin the slaughtering…now!!/listless fog dog / taken out to lunch by a swamp donkey/fit birds on the moon (there is plenty of room) / even socks get the blues./chatting in secret to the space monk / I will not take off my glasses until I have combed my eyebrows /
I had a dream that I was one of the last half-man half-lizards on Earth / gypsy stuck in the middle of a crowd of sports fans
this arête text has been wiped out by the bad scholar / the rapper left his gold false teeth on the last bus home / chump steak yum
six bands I am looking forward to seeing at the Jazz Punk festival; Bad Kreuznach, Summer Eyeballs, Bruno Bauer Trio, Gas Riot, Big Angry Man Trio, The Filthy Epinephrine / ‘Bernard Matthews’ is not my dad, I told the vegan beauty
the USA quite literally lost The Fear o’ God / usual icon used by American people / ..I snubbed the buffet / banquet champions
teenagers always dream in full colour / Bountiful banquet for GG Allin / ordure buffet /..so we were forced to bathe in Coca-Cola
Babushka’s lament / not everything I think is righteous, you know / permanent haircut / evil of Disney (RE?)
I fell in love with the fat bachelor / get happy with the Japanese Christmas choir / German mannerism leave me cold
list of items a Chinese bachelor needs for a happy life:- X Box, Chinese phone book, wig and some rice
I am the 17th teenager to leave a box of fetid meat at the entrance of ‘The Ministry of Filth’ HQ / King Duck III vs whites
Chinese haircut (AKA ‘bowl cut’) / greasy dandruff on my cricket whites / turned on by cricket whites (cricket is not racist)
my mum dusted the crops before cleaning out the bath / I got my lover to recite the Hungarian phone book in a sensual voice
I found the manuscript for ‘Scorpion and Felix’ down the back of my ancient lover’s sofa (speaker – cowboy)
I prefer mutable children / Charles Murkowski’s colourful junk (I don’t mean chunk) / 2006 (A) Ha Ha wars (YMLI) (yes)
Jackie Stallone Airport has a cigarette in his mouth / kings of tea time / Untold Micah Richards / destrier’s reest upset the officer
we landed in John Lennon (‘s corpse) / a hairy baby floating above the municipal zoo / I just called Queen Steptoe a ‘twat’
red donkey / feeding fish ‘n’ chips to dead astronauts / kangaroo court jester / block of fools / I won’t let you kiss my son
we painted our gums white to make us stand out from the drab crowd of onlookers / my miracle day was a let down
a brief period of nympholepsy was followed by quite a severe migraine (oh well) / a brief ride on the donkey / cowboy suede
force-feeding vegetables to the vegan / I fed myself fish and wondered aloud when my mother in law would stop talking
heavily-bearded homunculus drinking ale and talking about things that I do not wish to understand / boneless angels
the sweet smell of prostitute breath reminded me I was in New City / the petrol-coated gums / adipose bachelor called simply ‘T’
worn out astronaut sipping from a canteen of hot coffee / I took page 453 of the Jazz Bible and smeared it with peanut butter
we regret to inform you that we will not be cannibalizing the Jacksons tonight / forgetting to tape up the victim’s mouth
the rapper left his golden teeth in an old yogurt container / we let the fluid spill out all over the Astronaut’s spare space suit
I landed on an island where there were more dogs than astronauts / salmagundi again mamma??? / secular bible
one good thing about cricket whites is that they don’t show dandruff / listening to jazz alone / jazz for skinny people
you might find that your spoilt trousers will be miraculously fixed by 3.30am / it helps if you are fat/donkey gums / lack of gentlemen in the armed forces/haunted tits / the combined forces of the Beverly Street Gang and the Men they couldn’t hang was still not enough to defeat the Rodgers Gang /
why do people with holes in their heads always have better manners? / he found blood in his tear drop / vanishing faeces
now we would like all the Tessa’s to alight the train please (one at a time one at a time) / 15th century swear words
my new pappa was over 10ft tall / what will become of Tom Thumb Junior?? / local coconut / he was blatantly tripping
men with ugly noses are banned from beauty pageant / life and times of a he-she / bobcat finish cool /motorcycle fulfilment
my Daddy G is cooler than the real Daddy G / the life and times of Bogey Whitmore / Trevor’s pink girlfriend / the day Little Charles found a dead bird in the street / my son noticed that the clown’s teeth were coated in tarmac / Bolivian computer salesman in Kent/I remained impassive when being tortured by the cute teenager / forgetful maps /
we painted the beef with correction fluid to make it look white /itching + scratching on the plague ship / plate of pussy
it was a mistake to impute the jazz track to Jean Keene / I am thinner than Mark Gattis/ I was up all night cradling the baby from Eraserhead / punk rockers in the UK in short and long trousers/
little apple blossom, can I sit and look at your tits? / I asked the leggy superior model if I could tickle her chin for a bit
Jacks Nine (apple blossom) lists his 6th favourite movie as ‘Wings of the Publican’/ EMIPO Sex Pot Pistol
I bought Charles Mansa’s atlas and was horrified to find it was full of crude drawings of decapitated bunnies etc.
there are only about 19 attractive girls in Halifax (UK or USA) / basted by the Frenchman / does anyone still listen to Kasabian?
does anyone object to me smoking heroin? / Monty this may be something you have always wanted to hear
what would people think if the hoodlums replaced their hoodies with top hats and dinner jackets?/ fat shabby tears
she he key /the bakers welcome the re-introduction of chubby children / in the year 2010 there will be practically no obese kids
we spent several hours contemplating the future of Pink Xmas / XXXmas day is hair and moustache / lover behind the curtains
Chinese eyes of obese child / kids on gravy / fat little kids waddling thru the streets /damp moustache / cousin Coconut
Jewish heatwave (new sun) / milk-white moustache of LW3 shop cop / dead in the sunshine / we always disregard the whims of Keith Parasite / jazz trombone player asleep in the corner / palace chav / palace made of wood /
staring into the eyes of a suckling pig / I worship the robot / grown men who play video games should not be allowed to have children / alligator soup (1993) / ring of worms / I sat in the morgue and thought about Bessie (my ex girl) /
pulled along by malamute whilst eating a Mars candy bar / I was drugged and sent off to the West of the Midlands of England
he put a lot of wait on, grew a beard and started calling himself ‘Chuck N Blade’ / Irish bulimia / jazz from up above homunculus standing on the shoulders of tall cousin to enable him to get a good view of the jazz concert / disparage effort.
who put those Irish steam engines in my garden / my adjunct husband is smoking cigarettes he found on floor / modern wolf
hogg boss let me live / scraping off the crusty exterior to get to the supple flesh beneath / drunk fadeout / the bunny machine / I let the victim live one more day to enable him to see the final episode of ‘CSI’ / ‘Friends’ is the 481st best sitcom of the 8-0s . /
the swimming race winner was presented with a ball of fired meat and a basket of French fries / idea 1:- hero of the schoolyard
we try to avoid the students whose gums are too big for their teeth / dentate fish always make me nervous when I am swimming
I just saw a British peer eating an apple / exiguous boys trying to take on the bigger lads / I might have an owl for lunch
re. Your application to understudy Constant Brine / the pensive executioner / falling through Heaven into Hades
Bald Man give me some sweet jazz - Shangri Laura and the Flimsy Pipers / under a falling fat bugger / Hong Kong Street Baby
welcome back to Candytuft Inch / men with little black dots where their nostrils should be / getting lost down Chinese streets
Procrastinating executioner / waiting for dumbo / stentor in the library / blitz sq taken away the transparent vegetables
sexy drudgery / abstemious rock ‘n’ roll stars should be ostracised from society / chosen this (clocks in the ocean)
bonus handjob / the hand job received from Mr Soft was unsatisfying / addicted to shoes made in Pakistan
maybe i will get a tattoo of a battered sausage on my neck, yeah yeah (Internal relic) / 49 eyeballs on the shelf / are baby frogs pink/ / why is that pink frog not green? / I shrink-wrapped your head, but it stayed as big as ever / dead men in the fishing boat /
baby is back on the Pepper Train / watching THX1138 with the boy from the cinerary / Uncle Duck and the feathered fiends
death of hope for all you Guys With Kids / I gotta get my hand out of this bowl of country-fried chicken wings
Perfomed by Redeye Sextet and the Hot Bastards / I danced around the graveyard in my plimsolls tom amuse Keith Richards
Sid King tried to convince the tourists that his teeth were magic (leave the TV studio before sundown) / game for breakfast
I will not allow my daughter to watch my precious Hollyoaks tapes / Russophile slowly dying from poison /embracing energetic Westerners / sexy traffic / energetic naked reunion / naked hit man /cup of balls / lovely incision/ stuck tits /
the Ha Ha W R Stone stars of the past / a tepid get together with ex-celebrities / kidney whistle / blushing black man
I’ll always be content so long as I got my pocket bible and a steady supply of pussy / Count Jo and the nasty little orphans
the demon had permanently raised eyebrows which made him look perpetually quizzical / great wall of death
Virginia wolfed down her supper as she was eager to get to bed and finish reading the novel ‘Miss Dalloway and the Fish’
who would have guessed Marilyn Manson was born in Pakistan? / religieuse trying to convince me to give up skunk
wolf in tight-fitting trousers / fantasy flannel / girls look great in brand new dungarees / Danish future disappear
I am a modern wolf / kiss of a gypsy / who wants to see a fat girl in the morning? . is Neneh Cherry dead?
scaled-down dragon / your fish lips match your new glasses nicely / brought up by queer / sometimes I wish Christ was dead
and then I see an angel smile, then I smell the gas / a beautiful death for Percy Killer / lack of probity in rancid caboose
I charmed the arse off King Kong / dirty hands of king of muck and filth / demon patent / my new haircut was inspired by the movie ‘THX1138’/runny nose blues/ I told you already, Ken Holm is not dead/
acting out the latest Sid Chokeman play in my aunt’s kitchen / brave penis / unborn Elvis / Elvis spent his detinue learning to rap
the unidentifiable stains on the bedroom mirror reminded me of Netherlands / hands on the table ready for war symposium
the soldier sat in his chair and quietly blinked for over 2 hours / gay hospitium (storm poison)/ asparagus maps / gorillas get itchy
Erethism of bladder caused us to drop the tea tray; thus upsetting the tiny cowboys / Jewish overcoats of excellent quality
is plagium still legal on Mars? / totally wiped out from the maw o’ the moon / newborn in the storm drain / flatulent astronaut
we spoke to the humanoid in the international lingua franca, and he promptly fell about laughing and soiled himself in front of all the dignitaries / soiled drum student / if we keep on rubbing our eyes maybe the demon will disappear / essential dogs
I finally managed to disappear in 1987 – who am i? (asked with smiling peasant Irish eyes) / catchment-area beauties
I probably should have folded you up and written to your dead wife / the coffin was left in a state of abeyance
had a coffee and some grilled eggs with the superior being / bona vacantia made xmas great this yr./ me held up the mirror to allow the astronaut to see his helmet for the first time / my broken fashion paw/the Fashanu recital / I encouraged my children to rest their paws during the intermission / lap steel pancakes/it was embarrassing to be eaten by the Anthony /
I burnt myself on the hot goblin / (the Bee Gees are inside the machine) / most everybody falls in love with the Super Body
Jet boy ain’t my lover no more / graveyard candy / hunting down Christian buffalo / miscegenation is encouraged ‘round here
why is the devil always depicted wearing tight-fitting trousers (usually leather) – ‘maybe it is because it is essentially evil to worry about how you look’ / my mum used to be called Neville, if ya know what one means / inimical to the health of astronaut
the beauty of abundance / is it odd to wear my dead girlfriend’s barrette on a chain around my neck?? / why are tribal people always either adipose or muscle-bound huh huh? / Spiritual death of Max Herero / nortical breath / sugar-coated lover
we were the bearded angles (we didn’t play rock music) / candy breath is back in tow
Calliope inspired my latest opus which I titled ‘The Brevity of Love in Sixth-Form College’ / shake out my love rats lover
I met a disingenuous man who I decided I liked none the less (he loved the ending of Finnegan’s Wake) / fluid from a flute
adipose islanders eyeing up your excess fat / too late for breakfast; too early for vice / denim clad fish / chubby dreams
clad in leather in preparation for the storm / what does VPC stand for (the answer is Voluntary Pink Clinic) / pretend demon
a dead-eyed astronaut chewing on his breakfast in a meditative fashion / I’ve always preferred pink monkeys / I accidentally left my ‘best of Travelling Wilburys’ cassette on the back seat of the Dream Bus (I had dream) / I repeat the question for the benefit of the blind children..'are you going to Nipple Island on Saturday? / you spread your bones all over the weekend
death of a Sunday morning / gypsy biscuit / summer time hot lover / my grandpa went to school with Rasputin’s toy boy
flicking through a cowboy’s notebook on the penultimate train home / the day my granddad joined ‘The Flaming Lips’
is the death rattle a myth? / shine your head lights on the shabby baby / what the hell is one supposed to do with a dog’s body? /carton of already-smoked cigarettes
pieces of scum of the future / let ‘s discuss the furore of war / jam and butter spread all over the back passage carpet / death robe
we roped off the corpse / ‘oh’ cried the beadle solemnly when told that his services were no longer required.
I prefer bird with milk-white beak / denim-clad beauties trying to get the attention of the passing Eastern Europeans
RW – I cannot decide whether to be nice or horrible / horrible horrible haircut (ha ha) / jail house smashers
Bleating like the devil / my very own impersonal deil / millennium comb-over / bones of the devil’s son
I sellotaped my moustache back on and continued with my valedictory speech / most tramps are posh / he presented the devil’s head in a bucket with all his gold teeth missing / forfend the threat of old, but powerful, demon / I am with the other men, hiding in the cupboard /you will find me in the kitchen at parties..sinking down all the booze / spider’s legs aren’t as hairy as you would think / garlic treasure/we dwell in darkened silence / joy of dead engines/I am friends with a man who wears flip-flops in the snow / rice, beans, peas, cabbage and chicken bones /
I seldom have nightmares about logistics / factitious daydreams dreamed before god / Spider with wings
we spent most of Saturday making love and most of Sunday watching re-runs of ‘Bonanza’ (and discussing the previous nights love-making) / I am a vegan but I sometimes eat ostrich meat because I happen to be addicted to it / collared dog
addicted to bumping / we witnessed a small astronaut trying to buy some weed off a sixth-form student / best man’s teeth
I couldn’t resist trying on the devil’s plimsolls (even though I was fully aware that it would wind god up)
birds without wings always remind me of my childhood /inexorable pursuit of something indefinable (er..huh..humm)
an elastic affair (YKI thanks R (x)) / promised to a lesbian (28 promising lesbian artists) / small I, big teeth
I combed my hair down to make me look more like a Chinaman / nacho post / bring me the soul of Father Christmas
refractory children gnashing their teeth and spitting at the coppers / a day underneath the stars with Sid Vehayches
Sid Viscous classic diary anecdotes (dandy in the heat wave is mine) / toes out at the dental surgery
I just watched that movie about the girl with the dentate pussy / luxurious migraine
we dipped the horse’s hooves in margarine to make the shoes slide on more easily/ thunder domination nub S (skid error)
broken heart sex show / it will take more than a plate of fish to make Cat Man come out / Skid Row beauties
Isaac stripped off all his clothes in the vegan health food shop / what are hoop eyes? / no summer for the Kentucky birds
why do gangsters often congregate in Chinese restaurants / I made my baby get down on all fours and howl like a chimp
do you believe in darkness / I believe in life after darkness / I painted my September teeth / selfish helicopter
he caressed my hair with his Victorian fingernails / chubby tart trying to convince me to let her borrow my VHS recorder
Mr Norman was left off the lead as it turned out that he was a dead man / I varnished my fingernails before supper
my ten month old daughter sketched a very curious picture of a small bird sans wings / the cup that my group gave me
God is with us, Emmanuel (don’t kill the nice sheep) / some people thing God took the form of a walrus on his terrestrial visits
the local dish put her legs all over the men / handsome eyelids of pin-up stud / Frank and the tortured sewers
I sat in the kitchenette eating pickled cabbage whilst my new girlfriend sat outside smearing strawberry jam all over her face
recumbent ghost dreaming of being corporeal like what he used to be / girls of storm warning / my dad looks like Pepe from TV
daddy is in the vegetable patch looking for his postiche / I made love to king of demons / NYC burp trumpet / tunnel love vision
you can’t have a good party with only Ethiopian oat cakes and Kia-Ora juice / I fell in love with Star Fox on Tuesday 3rd April
hug your girlfriends before onset of war / making love to the killer / I walked past the big grinning German / Uncle Kaballah
single man eating baked beans for Christmas dinner / only sad people don’t have girlfriends (and scientist etc) / doomed to dance
he submitted his tasting notes and then went off to be sick / reckless infant chimps climbing all over the precious artefacts
I can’t escape space jazz opera as my legs have seized up / African breakfast / homosexual menu / I glide thru hell quite easily
lonely African drinking coffee and eating chocolate / the myth of cartoon sex / 1. there are no lions in the Scottish highlands
kiss the electric priest / would you like to see my collection of rare whores? / ambience of a mortuary / fibre-optic legends
we found your missing teeth in the skirt demon’s lair / what a chubby chicken!! / Boy with a moustache / the nausea wall
you lived in society suicided by man (yeah) / I ain’t got no teeth so I just mash up the cod with my hardened gums
city centre chimps with hr dons and banana skins wrapped around their heads / gummy blonde haired baby (deer eerie)
goblin on the forecourt (sniffing petrol and eating a candy bar that he stole from the shop) / you don’t need teeth to eat fish
my girlfriend keeps getting mistaken for a gypsy / Arthur and the domination of bearded kids / loose champ/I’m not afraid to push potential suicide victims over the edge / clinical moon / I asked the doctor, what exactly is ‘classic’ Jandek? / you don’t have to take my word for but, believe me, Jandek is dead/Twelve Minutes Since February 32'nd" [sic] / Janitor's Dead again (Live action – years away)/we draped bear skin over the teenager’s shoulders / big pig about town/dropped my spoon on the floor, and as I stooped to pick it up I was pecked on the left cheek by an old flame/ I am the same as you..i just look a little different/suicide of the devil / I looked into your eyes and wished I was your latest love conquest/I placed my filthy fingers on the edge of your knee and weeped ‘till noon / I will never let you touch my anus again, Phillip / I smeared some cottage cheese into my new girlfriend’s hair / I played cards with a fish/what’s o great about dying in the morning? / asleep in the fish tank/dissolution chamber blues / absolution blues/incipient moon bible reading / perfuming for a queen bitch/I let my robes fall off and proceeded to the window / caught glimpsing at a pornographic pamphlet/I have always been jealous of the pig’s eye lashes / this list was written between 1993 and 2006 /childish fish / hand me my looped features/ turned on by lop-sided grin of stroke victim / teddy bra in the swimming pool/clean teeth is a must if you are going to make it in this world / bulldog licking some meat in butcher shop/tuned on by my girlfriend’s menses rag /Scottish toe nails/bag full of sued teeth / graveyard teeth/
the two sides of under-age jazz / jazz for youngsters / gash building tools (circa. 1980) / graveyard orbit / jar of death
Vic20 baby / Jerry Garcia used to babysit my killer / obese rodeo / running away from the ghetto / death in the hospital / making faces at the ‘onlookers’ / sell your bones on E-Bay / registered to walk naked in the street / I’m 2 hip by half / gentleman’s menu
handing out candy bars to orphans that you stole from the vending machine in the hospital / childish death
my uncle’s paradigm for a better future for Death Row inmates / perdition is a common affliction on Death Row
beautiful haemorrhage /. Death row lookers / twitchin’ ‘n’ itchin’ (all nite long) / Mick Jagger’s 80 Body Bug
Adventurous bruise (bruised by adventure) / death row onlookers / the sky has not fallen yet, Michelle / fallen swoop
I struggled to live my life without the pocket bible my uncle gave me / legend of the dub reggae Wizard of Oz apocalypse
I swapped my beard trimmer for a bag of assorted ‘Willard Grant Conspiracy’ cassettes / handing out good cigars to the penguins
Avuncular love stopped as soon as I grew out of my short trousers / personification of evil is taking me to the movies
pork belly pitched to vulgar adults / twitching in the bunker / child with a man’s head / here is candy nose
leftover life to live w flower of hat / life in Theatre of hate / hate makes me feel good/ lost in Bandrika / noshing on African vittles / the effulgent face of dead ghost / I am nostalgic about my life underground with the ape-men
Charles is a jazz abolitionist / wandering around the graveyard munching on a hot dog / sand bug in my ice cream
trying to convince a pantheist that god is child / lucky eyewear (eye for yokels) / David Bowie’s favourite possession is a little purple wind-up talking owl effigy that he bought in NYC / sniffing the kettle / we found the Welsh actor Anthony Hopkins rolling around on the front room floor with his trousers round his ankles and an aubergine stuffed up his bottom
Mormon wetware treat (inbred janitor) / sugar-coated corpse (spoilt worm)/ Jagger covers himself in bottom butter / body butter-coated foreigners/Norman Wisdom’s teeth / the anal prolapse prevented him from playing in the cup final./
the laborious task of raising children is certainly not for me / beards of Labour Day / I followed my wife into space / Victorian Ethiopians / I am surrounded by men dressed as bears and German fishing boats/
modern haircuts leave me cold (especially shaved heads) /the army major who didn’t know how to love
Paul Newman appeared to have a strong affection for the letter ‘H’ / modest death of Charles Murkowski
spirit of the space opera / dirty grinder (house special specimen) / Captain Baby and the back-room hand-downs
vegetables on display in the sweet sunshine / decaying cadaver smelt kinda sweet / we were shocked to discover thousands of babies crawling around the desert / they were natives of a far-off country called (name of country deleted)
my grandfather always insisted on denying the existence of ostriches (I think he had a phobia towards them)/dead cat masseuse
Garrulous infants keep me on my toes (keep me scared) / beautiful dentist / Pepper Buchannan and the dead ghosts of art class
cuckoo jazz from somewhere called ‘Space Town’ / Bulgarian enthusiasm / I keep forgetting my Trevor’s name
simony gets you nowhere (these days) / I arrived in America with no hat but a bag full of Christian Rhyme tapes
the queen was highly impressed by the carefully-choreographed love makin’ / yellow haven / plastic species / I boiled the vegetables and commenced painting my eyelids / sugar-coated chubby fingers / sniffing a teddy boy’s man-bra on the taxi ride home / king of sharp-edged fish/ I collected up your lost teeth / I keep your old finger nails in a bag /
Caliginous skies make me feel solemn / calvity does not preclude you from being a hippy these days
the teenager was deleterious influence on the commune children / abstemious partiers make me yawn
he counted to 3 before opening his eyes and sketching a picture of what he perceived to be ‘King of Death’ / space tic
he dug the grave with a child’s toy spade / amusing roundelay for children and bizarre men/ whelped demons
Adam was not actually the first man, Norman was. / you can’t dance in graveyard, Ian / his combustible beard
life under the pernicious influence of USSR / Under Siamese sisters read dot dot / life without magazines / I do believe in Z-God
my father was not sympathetic to the plight of the astronauts / handing out fish to the vegans children / spastic sunrise
doff your crash helmet when meeting a zee chicken / dead astronaut centre (DAC)
my brothers and I decided we would all grow moustaches for Christmas /oh look, an owl eating another owl.
I was am addicted to Christianity / moved to tears by nature DVD / flat foot fashion
the boy who broke out of a plastic bag with no help from adults / skinned monster museum
yes, i would love to see your husband’s tits / mobs on a starving fat man
I always weep at valedictions / grown-up astronauts / Christian giblets / adult moustache / kinky picnic
Improbable classics vol. x / juicy rennet for the smallest adults / children on the moon / stuck on the deserted inch
Surrounded by brave but ignoble girls / inch by inch we get closer to pseudo freedom / we attached a camera to the spider’s web
dad bought me a big bag of candy for the journey / a feeling of dubitation overcame the travellers upon reaching New Land
zombies appear to be in a state of permanent confusion / I vehemently refute the accusation that I am but a plastic Scouser
the Cottage Pie Crew have come to stay / blind man drinking from an extremely dirty vessel / ordure-coated landscapes
butch leisure / butcher at play / stuck inside a plastic box in Tokyo / drip-dried golden eggshells / spinning twat / the day I realised I no longer was in love with Plastic Anthony / plastic pigs with everything/I think I’ll sleep alone tonight, mother / I laid down and waited for the bad men to come/
chamber of secret jazz / I was just abused by a blonde twat / Neff forgets everything else (German Jazz) / campestral banquet
sliding down Funk Street with three guys called Bobby / anthropic jazz (as opposed to the humanoid jazz, one presumes)
how long will it take to cook shepherds pie for 10,000 men? / it’s a jazz clap / jazz in a tea cup /albatross jazz 88-89
sperm claps (outbreak of spasmodic clapping at 5.30am) / cute spastic / Welsh sperm / ignore the contents of biscuit cricket box
my new girlfriend strongly resembles Mick Jagger / snubbed by Jagger / snubbed by Keith Richards / Mysterious Chongo/ I rode my horse to work for only the second time / the first time I laid my hand on your breast / smokeless kitten / no smoking rooms in this hospice/my dad gave me his guitar and told me to write songs..but he did not allow me to write any melodies / I live in a grave with my sweet Bessie..the one I never would leave/the very modern horse (the terribly modern horse)/I’m going down to that river to get me some fish / I’m going down to the grave yard to get me some corpses / sunshine fish eye and lids/
Hubert’s first post-madness movie was basically just four hours of ducks walking around a small village / basic big boy
we fed the werewolf cucumber and you could tell he wasn’t satisfied / I look like Mick Jagger’s face / Mick Jagger is 90
we challenge underground babies to come up and meet the press / student roaming around the space centre in a ‘daze’/ Parasol eyes / visions of a man being treated well/fishing for love letters with my 3 friends/ history of boys/creamy eyes (less peas more meat) / beagle in the space shuttle / my dog has 3 brains / do ghosts wear lipstick / my feet are so god damn fashionable / desk-top urine / flaming eyeballs in the darkness/hospitalised apples / I knew what you were looking for, and it wasn’t your lost teeth / absolute bloody concrete / Neil Young shaved his fingers/dilettante watching a half-baked play on TV / joy of death/take those sugar-coated fingers and place them on my teeth / pissed in the Navy/ half eaten octopus / broken-down ghost/
we built a small shelter out of abandoned Metallica cassettes and CDs / massive memories / sceptical bones / caramel swagger/ infant rock star/aren’t you fortunate to be so lovely/ I dream of the RR coming to this town / sailor on the moon / bored with the lack of war/his bones (s) are getting chubby / close you eyes..i will see you in the morning(I wills till be here in the morning)/
He said 'come on Hellcat./ sex with the hell cat / one too many drabs in the billet / cum log / I wrote down the record time it took me to come/I opened the book and read aloud the passage what mentioned pink eye in society / upper echelons of the porno pyramid - filthy ladder/ I stole my candy drops from the dead child / dead children floating past my face/
aboard the night bus / God makes no bones today /posting mushrooms through old ladies’ letter boxes / bearded spectrum
maybe it was wrong to force my wife to shave her head / an acid flashback reminded me of who I was actually was
a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders can say so much. / so I says to Mer-Man; ‘get yer slimy hands off my wife’s breast’.
the soldier had no fear of enemies but he quailed at the sight of the hoary babushka / jazz fashion - orotund jazz
the intellegensia comprehensively failed to summarise the situation as successfully as Dirk McGirk did./ ready for the swamp / evading detection / we decided not to reveal too much when it came to.. / I greased up my thumb and forefinger and left the waiting rooms / I caught a glimpse of the slime-coated new arrival l –man on man / high on shoe grease / kittens of the city/
the white shadows / I took a photograph of the actor’s left breast / keep my lover in a shoe box
legends of Death Row / you don’t like people? Ok, what you gonna do? Spend the rest of your life with the animals?
we glittered up our coupons and headed for the black country / gentleman’s wax all over the hot disco hot / hot selfish pansy miracle blister / god is French / ah sweet lil’ Butchy / noise for Japanese wine / a nose for Japanese wine /
yes, I would love to see your husband’s man-boobs/ drip-fed android / needless to say, he loves pork and beans
jogging ‘round the graveyard / no graveyards on Mars / curried dreams (funeral pie) / jacket toffee / effulgent corpse teeth
a feeling of schadenfreude overcame the motorway pile-up passers-by / deformed baby show / ancient fangs / filthy nativity
everyone becomes a mass-produced table cloth in the end / decumbent fat men being fed soup by a very sexy nurse
would the Rolling Stones have been good if they had short hair and beards? / I had sex with the bearded ladies son
I always wanted to be on Nixon’s list of enemies / father of the Nixon canned goods empire / request an ear-ring
I sought solace in the romantic fiction of Tessa Budd / a ringing endorsement of the vegan philosopher
I spent Tuesday evening with some girls who became addicted to magic pie in the eighties / fear of fake fur.
paranoid gay (the conspiracy fairy) / malison-sufferers hiding under the covers / ginger river / dressing down on Christmas day
I made my face up for the benefit of the Christian missionaries / wonderful hang over / mistaken for an ape
I sat looking at my dead wife with a half-eaten potato resting on my lap / propitiate the sad kid by giving him bag of fruit
we found the chimpanzee devouring the left-over cup cakes / Chinese grog boats/ piano juice/ songs from under the ground
dreaming of a life without shoes / dreamy factotum is using his spade to turn me on / I should be shaving my armpits now
I dream of hiring men to carry out all of the mundane chores of day-today life / I shaved my body to show off to the foreigners
we renounced all of our second-hand ideas / prostate men on xmas day / killing the sunshine / icterus makes you look sexy
Max Cohen struggled to relax with coffee and cake (apologies to you Max Cohen for telling the public this) / perfumed worm
corduroy-clad gymnast / I am not an asshole, Richard / carpet ducks never learn how to float elegantly / hairy wisdom / he took off his corduroy slippers and carried on towards the beach / I combed my hair before being presented to the astronauts / sat petting small animal with menacing teeth on show / guttural sounds in the out house/
Japanese duck in China / assaulted pork / a duck wearing a small fur coat / human astronaut / jazz trombonist in fur coat
never bring a gun to a spoonfight (days before the wisdom) / every time I put my finger to my nose, the kids cried out
I take most of my inspiration from the golden ostrich egg / bruised eagle / garrulous infants made my headache a bit worse
my insistence that theology must yield to the superior wisdom of philosophy got me banned from my girlfriend’s house
I dream of big boned ladies / I touched your fluff before tea time / cantankerous old bitch howling at students / ex wife tale
Mr Baboo and the fiery-haired teens / the fact that I am not a ‘real man’ is an idée recue /snack bar rescues / Indian hedgehog
we stuffed his nostrils with old newspaper so that he would not smell the carpet ordure / orphan smiles (orphaned smiles)
I always dance with my hands in my pockets / the girls who wear trousers - on POP / elephant stew / touch my chimp
truculent 6 year old lads of Northern England / men who talk like geeks should be strangled / gay felony / I shagged the bin man
I lost my voice at White Kids reunion after-party / I just got the new LP by ‘Jack Slime’ (titled ‘Gums on a Girl’)I collect photos of girls wearing men’s hats / sugar-coated toes/I chopped off my thumbs and gave them to your daughter as a present for Christmas / Christian collecting satanic bones/encouraged to move forward by voices from the back of the room /afraid and in love with the ceiling people/disturbed on a Saturday / snooker ball bones/you wrote all your good ideas on the back of your plastic hand / watering cans on moon/long way back to the grave yard / I love to listen to you tell off my children/
what we learned from from disco culture / how we learned to stop laughing (and be more serious at the dinner table)
dial D for Donkey / no Xmas for eyeball boy (don’t stop me never) / those lovely lab rats / lads and birds come together
we dined on the succulent leftovers whilst reading 6th form war poetry / the invisible sin of Dirty Rainbow club member
no acrimony exists between God and Satan / I live with King Deer / Pat’s electric canal / eating candy floss at the funeral/daddy put his bare feet on the kitchen table and it made the women angry / my father’s plastic feet have melted slightly in the Caribbean sun/we handed out the leftover flowers to the Chinese children / Chinese men on Mars/Caribbean manners / filthy fingers of Donald Scum/I dated the youngest of Marilyn Monroe’s children / travelling back from Mars with my lucky black tooth in my coat pocket/worried look on a Chinese women’s face / I shaved that little patch above my penis /
straight outta New Orleans wid a bag o’ thumb nails / my Christian haircut / my Christmas hair /Christian hairline
I experienced schadenfreude when witnessing the melting plastic children. / gorilla in my bath tub /beware of creamy reunions
Shamanic Jack and the forgotten scoundrels of Lilly Island / I just received a copy of the new Jack Spatula LP
they took out his bones and replaced them with plastic tubing / the top 101 haircuts of the ‘Romantic era’ / I spat on his grave before the family arrived / we left the corpse unattended and it was eaten by edacious wolfs / a light-hearted history of torture / wet the bed for the 5th night in a row / oh yes (I woke up in a town with no buildings, no horses, no tress but a plethora of public toilets) / what does that tell you about my gravelly voice? / I locked the bathroom door and commenced the shaving of my anus / a video cassette of a man running continually backwards through a deserted town / gorgeous dog - gorgeous fog / summer fog makes me feel melancholy / I packed up my fangs and headed back to Transylvania/ Romania people on the train./
I took a clandestine sip of Ian McEwan’s lager / did you know that Ralph Steadman can’t actually swim?
men called Alan Smitheee are not permitted to join my club / men with 2 names (such as ‘Alan George’)
memories of a creamy engine / permanent gash / my mum’s pink moustache /tank top on a gorilla/ adult rasp (October) / February guilt/lost goblins / my teeth are too small/my 40 yr old anger / I’ll never marry a monkey / basement crash – I fell in love with the blind actress / sniffing my own penis after 5 days without a bath / man needs woman like fish needs donkey / I slipped my bare fingers into the human skin glove and it felt moist like a sponge/permanent eyes / Harris and Elliot go to the zoo to see what they believe to be a penguin/Catholic biscuit /my dad is massive/my Daily Star wage packet won’t buy me something that splendid, Jacky / just puked up the candy floss you had for breakfast / barn owl in my kitchen/ Jacky Crap-Teeth is my new lover (she is going to the dentist tomorrow..thank god!! LOL)./the woodworm and the half-Japanese rock star / wooden teeth will still go rotten, Jacky/this caterpillar stinks of shit / Clyde Barker and the Hot Popes /
trying to avoid old Skank Chops on the way home from the karate exhibition / fudge is my friend
‘Days out with lemonade Gorilla’ was a terrible title for a children’s book / scrub me down and put me on display
my son is starting to look like Marilyn Monroe..what can I do? / why leave kids stranded? / monkey skulls and onion bhaji
the band got jeered off for playing nothing but the hits / resting in a cave while I wait for the rag ‘n’ bone man to arrive
23 year old men wearing moustaches tend to wan t to hear the Fuckedjazz /Jazz yeah jazz what? Oh, you need some love do u?
The pejorative remark as actually aimed at the king / I am Royal Mukka / ..as he laid in his peppery grave / calm before the trots
we keep little plastic effigies of monkeys zipped up safely in our bum bags in our bum bags / sweet scent of death
ten stone man drinking white wine and dreaming of leaving this country for another one of equal or greater value
I shoot the mother of the world / Jazz Willy and the Toe Rags / the monstrous grin of family butcher / question-why do some people lay pennies on the dead people’s eyes / country made of stone and flesh and brick (trumpet mullet) / I ant my medals and my and vinyl records back / skinned before breakfast/ the infant Jandek / afraid of the plastic wall / stuck on Cod Row with FA to do / knuckle clinic / at the bottom of the alley I discovered the following:- a lady wearing flesh-coloured surgical gloves; a man with not very many teeth and a small painted hard-boiled alligator egg / prince of dead fashion / walked out of church with your tail hidden down your trousers / upset the Kia Ora Krew by tipping out their juice onto the pavement / rancid astronaut / the day they clubbed my favourite seal / the day they clubbed the singer called Seal by mistake / happy knuckles/
Drip-feeding bland tunes to the handkerchief-sniffing salesmen / Nuclear box – favourite plastic specimens of 15th century
I gave the horse three free plays on the jukebox. He selected the following numbers:- ‘Horse of the Day’ by Sid Hoss and his Rocking Mares; ‘Gimme back my hoss’ by Horse McHoss and the Blind Horses of Hoss Town and ‘Give the Hoss a Kiss’ by Baby Horse and the Hoss Wranglers / the Buffalo Child / inducted into the C of E (Church of EBook) / Sid Hoffman and the Dogs / dead ladies washed up on on the beach /bonus walnut / the day my moustache stopped growing/
all that training and hard graft and all we ended u with was a cardboard trophy and a hug from Sebastian Cod Roe
girls boys baby fish drug addicts / smoked my last cigarette before shaving off my beard / fat man in or on the throne / dark puss back on the cat throne / seismic irruption – yes of course it was Wayne /
I can remember when Jesus Christ was just a teenager / pathetic in the jungle / the devil is a teenager / coconut ashtray
pass me the slew bucket, Jason / feel like a man called Jason etc. / smacked by an astronaut /wolf in the engine room
wolves in the throne room / NN celestial lineage / butcher’s kingdom / Saint Albatross in egence / black dandruff
canescent body builders make me feel edgy / steam dragon / it wasn’t my idea to ban the Beano / the satanic hiccup
repeat after me; ‘I must not make rude hand gestures at passing circus entertainers’ / A tank top-clad gorilla squeezing himself into a telephone box (he broke his mobile phone by sitting on it in the jungle) / good night Orville
the dried-out, but still succulent, left-over’s / forgotten 16th century anoraks / family butcher / butchering the sheep
bragging about how much fresh fruit you have in your barrow / it’s time to wheel out the demons / gay from the night before teasing the manacled werewolf / hounds on the lawn / admonished for wearing your father’s moustache
he ignored the nun’s monition and went ahead and played chess with death anyways / throw away those dirty eyelids, Kent
What’s the point of gazing at shoes? / jump erupt kettle eel lovely leftovers / Reduco-Obesity Slayer / looking guilty in November ./ childish pancakes/liquid statements / ‘Inside a Boy’ by Devilish Martins is my 78th favorite album of all time (but I gave the cassette away to my father’s new boyfriend to make it seem like I was ok with their relationship..which I was)/ filthy match box / they cut open the snooker ball to see what it looked like on the inside/slap-on pancake / I saw my dog inside the house/abandoned cassettes make interesting listening / big bag of cancer shop cassettes (inc. such gems as ‘Forgot my teeth’ by Jacky Risk and ‘Forgot to put my teeth in today’ by Ken One / dead men queuing up for a spot in the grave yard / my TV eye on your face/the sweet silent sound a corpse makes when being lowered into the ground / fidgeting in the morning/suspect at the piano / morning left-over’s (taste the best)/children stand in line waiting for the Lolly Pop Man / played my ‘Cat Army’ LP for the 6th time in a row/I am inclined to think that ‘Spaghetti for my Tea’ was his best movie ever / Salvador Dali made me feel naked on the inside/rolled on top of a dog / reminds me of the dead man / switch on your lamp to make the ghost come out / see you after the space trip, Jacky/I think I’m gonna have a shave when I get back from space / armed corpse/,my father always wore a Caribbean bone around his neck / sinister Norfolk boy/I stopped using cream when I have a shave / forgotten death of Ju Ju Lord/plastic Japanese people / I got dirt on my knees, elbows and front teeth/the surface of the moon was covered in a talcum powder-like substance (which we tasted..it tasted like chrome) / jazz fish flat head special sauce/city goblin / I fed rice and pie to my neighbor’s little cat / I told my fellow spaceman to stop fiddling with the controls / you never smoke a cigarette when you are doing something else/cantaloupes are so good to eat / dreamed of a China man in the shower (getting his hat all wet)
I threw my ‘Best of Anthrax’ cassette into a dank and deep abandoned swimming pool / creamy daydream
I forgot to wipe the pictures of ‘Goose Jackson’ from my broken computer / from the bottom up you could tell he was my lover/ ex lover in the bath/I kissed a dog just to see what it was like/they put a blanket over the corpses’ toes/Jewish nostril /bucket of monkeys /
the secret Kentucky derby is not happening this year. Wink wink / I got smoked out by the beautiful dragon
..with a worn out vinyl copy of ‘Poor Amos’ by ‘Death and the Slayer’ / kill lemming / silent piss
nefandous literature of the Honey Killers / meandrous journeys in heatwave / diacritic marks on corpses
cyclothymia affects the majority of my ex-wives / my wife prefers to embrace her synthetic religion (I am happy)
tall men trying to fit into very small rooms / abandoned heatwave / men who eat their dinner with spoons
dreaming of a new car park in my back yard / WEIRD Spanish zombie count / blind butcher / sensible shoes on a corpse
why did Felix lie down in the street with apples and oranges? / why are French people cool? / Death in paradise
I probably should not have told my wife that she looked like a whore when en grande tenue / the history of 1933
Johnny Hobday and the pleasanter bedsits / sanguifying spirits of worn out VHS / life with the vibrator
why is Norfolk a dump? / it is perfectly natural for a cattery worker’s fingers to smell of pussy / spent most of Christmas chipping away at the frozen potatoes (hate you hate me) / gay men floating around/
gorilla drinking soda from a tin can / absit omen we get killed on the morning of the advent of the Greatest War
we found the abandoned body of the school master nestling amongst some snap dragons and several old unread copies of ‘Heat’ magazine / I loved that ginger-bearded rapper / white men doing hip hop in black ghetto / gay zoo /the way to identify a demon (indeed, the only way) is to sniff his arm pit.. if it smells of salt..he is a demon / my paper weight was the big toe of Captain Harris/modern gob in King’s Lynn / modern goblin/Jesus stares at me from the back-bedroom wall / went floating down the shit stream/
I renamed myself ‘Mr Target’ / he will not see REC (a gem) / gewgaw for my lover’s brother / boxer’s nose job
I love everything about my trousers / hamper full of bones and biscuits / sanguine abattoir cat / my nose job went good, mamma
I lost my virginity in the toilet of a Korean biscuit factory / oblong erection / district privation / dishing out coconuts to tramps
we traded in our dog for a dolphin / I walk around the town carrying my girlfriend’s head in a paper bag
overblown sanctity is very common on this hairy planet / Polaroid of a witch doctor / don’t kill the sugar kid
begging in the chip shop (for more chips) ./ allergic to French foods /Dutch Francophile / weirdo cheval /shame of Elvis
return to Albion with bag of assorted vegetables / sex thru the letter box / I never liked old men to wear pink
he trained long and hard to be a bus driver but his skills were never put to work as he was actually allergic to steering wheels Colombian riff gum / bullying the hard case / Cobain’s haircut / Bunyip has not got his trunks on, ladies/ the modern spastic / the teeth that fell from your mouth/greasy flowers / my mouth is too big for my face/
conceited chattering fop being shown around the biscuit factory and yawning in a very pronounced manner
..and then the popinjay spilt loose change all over the chaise lounge. / gorilla wearing no make-up
all of our impressions of Great Britain were formulated by the yellowing postcard that we found outside the gift shop
modern men standing around discussing computers and that / orange-faced lover (my) / death time soliloquy
dobbed by your very own sweetheart (high school variety) / spraying chicken perfume / Jacobite sound system
modern men standing around tapping their feet to the Edwardian sound system / bedsit vegans / Crawford’s engine is full of air
danger danger; it is not 2003 anymore, Wolf Kid /adipose men eating salad / he rubbed petrol into his gums / I just discovered Christ’s bones buried in my back yard / ‘greetings from Death Row’ / The Horror Channel beauties/ it ain’t easy to fool the underground children / I bought a small cottage in the river/I invited you back to my caravan but you said you were too busy fishing for minnows for your kid’s tea / daughter in the burned-out library van/have clean Chinese fingers/ Kentucky buttons/
chunky on a Tuesday / aluminated head of the gypsy humanoid / boiled sweet in mouth of corpse / hospitalised moustache
the white eyes of Amos Andrews /aboard the last gypsy ship in town / he took a photo of his diseased glossa / chunky corridor fat man dreaming of cakes and other victuals / acuity of mind is generally absent amongst residents of Pope Town
it started to rain so we decide to watch ‘The Towering Inferno’ for the 89th time / fascist’s day off / milk-white beard
‘Dead Man Jerking’ / no albumen on my breakfast plate thank you momma /girls ‘n’ boys in the snow storm
gorilla smashing up a canteen (because they refuse to serve him on account of him being a gorilla) / vibrating small animals
I too k a swift drink from the barret and then headed on down the road (with the little cat) / swift death for chicken
from my window I have a great view of both the Eiffel Tower and Montgomery Cannard’s bedsit / slurping on prison noodles
only one recorded instance of a person dying from laughter at a clown / candy for champion / poetic redaction in yellow world A
after around 5 mins of being in mall I began to weep and was comforted by a mobile phone salesman (who I am now married to)
coat your fingers in butterfly dust / maybe we were always in love with the Buffalo Boys / effortless gusto of American
xx flower – broken hand of the man / we perfused urine all over the chav / get out of my head, Mr Richardson
from my window I have an excellent view of both the Eiffel Tower and the pound shop / not all monsters are bad
serious moustache / left of middle ages / I finally relented and released the horses from the Esso petrol station
‘enjoy your trip into space’ cried Neil Armrest / cuckoo eggs again, ma?? / 2 second drum solo / from my window I can see both the Eiffel Tower and the outline of that dead body/
we found Alice Cooper eating a lamb shank at ten to midnight / nose tunes / eye tunes / here we are (yeti doormen)
.. when he comes home and gets out his bollocks and places them on the dining room table / he sold off his eyeballs
I have always admired Count Dracula’s dun-collared tusks / smacked in the napper by bad kid
Kid Biscuit and the rubber tramps / traipsing around Germany with my collars tuck up / reach into the airport / Gulliver dropped his head down to see the midgets/I thought I told you to go home and see out the dogs / log of sin and deformed people’s bones/ detached skin / get it loud – put it on the sofa for the kitten to listen to/I turned you over and sniffed your behind / I inserted my thumb and forefinger into your gaping sweaty orifice (which one, father?)/i feel sorry for the junky..no one ever touches his feet anymore / touch my foot..it is beautiful/ /
beadle brought me a message informing me ‘god is dead’ / F1 - barret of cow’s milk
holy wears behind closed doors / I permed my hair for the 845th time / dishing out cubes of lucky meat to the passing spacemen
beautiful pirate with a bag of booty just for me / weight of a baby was comparable to bag of chips / queuing up for sex
flutter like swans / foreign twitching eyeballs / if you want me to jiggle my balls..i will / float like weightless fools
from my bedroom I can hear the sound of people getting their hair cut / anthropic jazz banquet / empire of squares / I keep my pet rat in a big sports sock – it love sit in their / swollen front lobe/
excessive comstockery afflicted the works of P B Charleston throughout his literary career / drunk on African Jazz
Chinese chat room (bad-tasting cakes) / take my head into the middle of the sitting room / Dracula is stuck in traffic
woman called Trina Dumez being shown around the cube factory / cubism still turns me on boys / your life will never end if you keep going out with these young teenagers / vision of puppets/why am i not drunk yet? / cinema death/paranoid teeth / I played my debut LP (called ‘Fish of the North’) to my dead uncle/maze of bones/ I was amazed at the sight of a loose bone/chasing fish around the day centre / met my new lover at the drop-in centre/I never lost my lucky wooden cornflake-it just rotted away / inshallah – I will never love another star again/church farm hospital music / hospitalised cat music / my brother shaved in the gutter..and didn’t tell my mother in the morning / the tiny little fists that you used in the alley fight/is ‘Clive Pug and the Hopeful Chinamen’ a made up group? / sock fight / the scientist noticed that the moon was covered in teeth marks / jail house boner/noble thin man told me not to leave my ‘Slits Cat Slit Bitch’ LP alone / thanks for the kiss on the chimney / I arrived in Keegan with a bag of mushrooms and a small photo of a chimney in my back pocket / slash slush kitten/out of circulation ‘till the dogs get tired / I tore of being so damn sexy/
the singer from Traffic attended to his perm whilst stuck in Traffic (traffic?) / Jewish dough / blasé coconut
I spent over 19 hours listening to my boyfriend’s ‘Traffic’ cassettes. I came to the conclusion that they are a slightly better band than ‘Jesus Alley’. / a comprehensive list of the ailments of Pete Genus / the tumid nose of French lush
the supermodel had his nostrils removed/eagle's eye; is over beaches / lesbian chip shop owners
my sister placed her ducks on the family sofa and ran off to join in with the stunning lesbians / leisure tits
no I am not in love with Eartha Kitt / I lost the letter that you wrote me to tell me you had lost your mind
James is not my name and I do not find traffic attractive. / burnt eyelids of sun bathers
my son reminded me of Johnny Briggs from the TV / the golden hair of legendary love maker by the name of ‘Golden Joe’
we hid the pork chops so as to stop the struggling vegan from gormandizing them / my new boyfriend turned out to be a gal
my boyfriend has just opened a shop selling Olympic-standard shuttle cocks / shuttle bus cocks
we lost our virginity in back room of pub in Morton Bagot/ a nice new cotton ball bag / I am 100% committed to not being diotic/ / chatting to the Infamous Dead LS / Duberry Rat/ Johnny Sadack and the Crushed Kittens had a one-off Motown-style hit called ‘I Never Knew My Head Would Fall Off if I Danced Like That’ / jail beat/can’t get enough o’ these pickled eggs (and vulgar chutney) / whip out my chutney/I wish I had some orange cassettes / I want my orange cassettes!! / terminal hiccup / beacuoup small gay / 46 muffled and fuzzy symphoiens..all on one marvellous cassette tape/ German cassette collectors / modern spastic dances whilst the
I poured gravy all over the chicken cook’s grave / Keith’s Chicken fat Orchestra / curly-haired gangsters are usually funny
I handed the girl a spatula and got down on 1 knee. / titles taken from big curly / map out your dreams / bestial dreams
Shari Lewis and Lambchop came to perform for my 18 year old father / jazz Argonaut loving Argonaut jazz loving Argonaut
like a machine which kills itself after performing its daily routine / two eyes out for Mashie Moses / summer eyebrows
big cave men wearing kinky dresses / charity shop voodoo / will you release me before supper (it’s beef stew tonight)
my son is starting to look a little like that Jewish guy off the TV / aren’t all waiters dumb? / the prosilient poetry of Ape-Man
I just saw Roger Bland wearing a pink straw hat; maybe he has a new lease of life / waiting for gravy / atrophy in paradise
I knew a man named Sidney whom kept his hair in a pot / pot full of feedbag dreams / maggot on the telephone
if you could hold on to my genitals I would feel much safer / studying cetology makes me feel happy/ the model possessed plenty of pulchritude but had absolutely no capacity for intelligent thought / singing in the space shuttle (double boner)/
we presented Maxi-Jazz with a bumper bag of petrol / ‘when I’m munching carpet’ / carpet munchers are us. / you microwaved your bones / I prefer the ghost to you /
Year of the Gods- Elephant Man and Yellow Man DT / porno star in cashmere sweater / Johnny Cash-Horse
de trop girls cover themselves in tin foil and blankets AT / homosexual spectrum / wasted youth wasted beards
my cowboy cousin preferred to spend time with his Alsatian to spending time with whores and fellow cowboys / fussy vacuum
I got a picture of Cat Stevens in my wallet / would you like to swap a punch on the nose for a kiss down a back alley?
my sad face indicates that I want a hand-job / i broke up with Miss Piggy, leaving Kermit free to pursue the bitch
ruled by voodoo priest / I lost ma voodoo handbook in da middle o’ da night, boys. / my kid smell of motor oil
girls with cream eggs in their mouths should not be kissed immediately / heterosexual hand gestures / Arab spring onion
furry vacuum / me, Cecil B De Mille and Hornpout Juju III / we plastered our faces all over the Modern Gloom exhibition Manhattan sex pests / he announced his arrival by tying his hands to the back of a VW Golf / cat size:- tiny
Meringue eater in my brain / Donald Davenport’s unmanageable hair / the contrite killer/ eating cakes with the porno queen Cleopatra’s cheek bones are turning me on / 80s jazz antelope /my daughter was filmed driving a car in Africa
can you hear the creak of my tiny foot wear? / deserts are gay / bummed in the morning / my fishing spatula
‘can you hear the creak of my weak knee’ asked the ageing pornography star / disturbing reunion / my weak spot for harpies
I caught sight of the devil’s finger tips during bar room afternoon / I only want to believe in poetry / Grunge Baroness
the child could not help but laugh when the schoolmaster asked him if he was proud of his misdemeanours (of course he was!..who wants to be a goody-goody?) / privation makes you thankful for a spoonful of coffee from time to time / the day I realised my feet had fallen off/ kinky fish man /
I played my Amon Duul II cassette so loud that over 90 per cent of the housing project could hear it / scum city dwellers
London is too small for the Everett Family and all their hangers-on / A)-timeless teeth / a hatred of the deep sea
Callous poems of circa 1884 / children snoring like giants / the raison d’ e’tre for the bearded man was quite unclear
A) a jazz thumb and forefinger / the day (we) ate out the hero poet. / jazz in the war zone / censored at breakfast
Bobby Pilgrim and the legend of Hell Sid / Sidney Pottery and the Deformerz / I got the deck chair blues / mother’s beards
it’s very noble of you to offer me your pants but, really, I’m fine / Daddy Short Bread /ring of peace (ringpeace)
I asked the ragamuffin child if he knew of anywhere I could find some good fake meat / Jewish hotline
antique sexual remission / incalescent corpse (TV ET)
I like your lips bagboy (feedbag dreams) / Emerson rocket / turned off by Lapsed Language records / godless sands
I allowed my young nephew to ingratiate himself into the infant punk scene (CROWC) / sweet ringpiece / asexual fashion
I put my face behind my hand before advent of Crow Theatre revival / Inside Curly Elbow (Weird frock) / Father of Dunlop
King of the Day Time pushes his trolley around the empty streets / hung summer inside the abandoned swimming baths
madness of men who live in bushes (i.e. Superman’s bird) / capricious high school master buying a bag of candy corn conventicler of the long-forgotten gods / b:- plate of breasts plate (old Father Dunlop) / kinky tentacles / my summer igloo
I should have left him lying on the stair case / white men in yellow jackets / forgotten tribes of the late 80s / Catholic converter
silver-skinned corpses / I remade the pilot episode of ‘Twin Peaks’ using people I met on the train home / forgotten bones
grinning babies make me feel uncomfortable (especially when they’re on TV) / rag time sex / cowboy chav / Amish warrior
I dated a man with a drawn-on moustache / filthy Pegasus / docked rabbits of Jolly Farm / in the middle of a tea bag fight
Beth’s diaries got ruined in the biblical flood / mapping out the walk to graveyard / eating yogurt with your fingers
the crushing inevitability of new series of X factor / Mark inspired me to write about pop thing / sexy implants
Dick Pilchard’s perfumed circus / standard-issue ostrich / sexual positions on back of truck (honey truck)
memories of old men sitting around eating nuts and chatting about ‘da good old dayz (when drum ‘n’ bass concerts were free)’
I fall in love nightly with circus muscle / mucus on my door step /silver-skinned babies grinning in the morning / my sparkly tits attracted the de-mobbed soldiers/
the man who claimed to live in a bottomless pit / flying off the bottom of a volcano with fire birds / gutsy yeti –it’s me
garrulous corpses (ruing the ambience of Day Centre) / dropped into insanity in the late 90s / pathological superman
listening to cowboy jazz whilst eating a half roast dinner / German jazz players should use more deodorant / legendary piss
dance with The Young Taiwanese Poets / Christmas parley with Ethiopian chatterbox / 3 cheers for Jimmy Prophet
self-imposed exile of minotaur / the man who killed the entire men’s hockey team felt absolutely no contrice / dog quid
unuria sufferer on the joke bus / hot pieces of death / caveman in the hospital / bacon diet eye (chewy revenge)
drink my blood from a Styrofoam cup / staring into a demon’s eyes on Saturday night / eaten out on Sunday morning
devil in the area (handing out fried chicken and kebab meat) / people wearing lipstick in the dungeon /cunning lingo (lapse)
lost in Heaven / I have some of the dandruff of Jesus Christ for sale on E-Bay / sweet lips of my mum’s best friend / gorilla eggs
my friend Gavin Entry walked off with ‘the worm’ / I warmed up the worm in my hot sweating palms / the secret lunch break
I pasted my eyelids back together in the morning / too much cock in the club / deep sea jazz club / I hurt my toe today (the big ‘un)/
can I borrow your gorilla? / they just sat around discussing their jazz haircuts / garrotted visitors (Monday, Tuesday etc)
the basics of 1988-89 sugar-coated warfare / corpse in the airing cupboard / motorised banquet / putting God to death
au courant with latest developments in on-line pornography industry / an Ethiopian boy colouring in a drawing of a giraffe
there was a wolf in the room mum, and it was dying (SMAS – F Off!!) / twisted like Nick Cave’s hat / men called Gemma
dancing with your tongue hanging out (like a hot old dog) / the quiddity of Nick Hercules Cave / the wrong onion
festival of frozen meat / ophiology got in the way of our relationship..i realise that now / the Allotment Show / gummy yeti
death in the men’s room is my 561st favourite play / obese swimming instructor / fat Chinese man in pink anorak
making love to a plain-clothes policemen / 601st hit on New Testament quotation website / dirty muff / gypsies’ secrets
Foreign tongues never seem to cease wagging / we wrapped up the baby crabs in the Diana’s muff / secreting camel juice
I prepared myself for evening’s diableire by gelling my hair, trimming my eyebrows and packing my crucifix and my best toothbrush / mouthy children should be told off in a stern manner / juicy effort / the edaphic-dwelling kids from New Village
dobbed again by silver android / dinner-time pulse racing (it’s my favourite.. crab cakes and grapes) / primordial hangover
I always insist on keeping my salmon-pink anorak on when making love / he was forced to expose his shins to the elements
I just saw an ophiologist wearing snake-skin boots / I quoted a premorseful sentence on page 445 of the New Testament
extant poetry from Forgotten World / we danced so hard that our bones fell out /monochrome daydream / I was picked up from 6th form by my mum’s dad’s friend Gavin Entry / hot death (skeleton in hell)/I encouraged my dog to go sniff out the bomb / I’m friends with terrorist..they’re ok really (when you get to know ‘em) / fell in love with man in the volcano / getting involved with TV star /Monday dolour eased by the arrival of the new panda cubs//kittens stuck in the sewer pipe make me feel sad/that ain’t Elvis..that’s my father / I scratched and scratched until the yellow bones were revealed / head full of peculiar noises, mouthful of gape he bones / tricked Jeremy into buying more coal / the yo yo bone / do you have eyebrows?/I took my European son with me to show him off /took my newborn gorilla to the gala to show him off to the other ladies / I have always been rmore popular in Japan than in the UK/aroused by the long-forgotten echo of hope / simian horologe/I met my future wife at the quaint disco / men in the tiger bin/
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