Friday, 11 September 2026

and it's high time - Cybil and the Lion

 

a wave of powdered feet
from where does the Regis Money originate
the deaf baby communicated via winks and whistles
pour me some yogurt, Wu Tang member
pre-WW one circus performers in my garage
it's still furry around the edges
wrote pamphlet on your skin condition
the elephant sat pondering it's pending flat renovation
bloodworm pocket book seaman's lamnet
powdered feet

dinnae buy the Sun and all that fekkin' shite
don't buy The Sun and all that Fuckin' shite

weird pop star on my driveway
the Crying Hamburger
Riello Umbrella



ain't u proud of ya dish rag supper?

'86 wet perfume come back

wet petrol
cloud ice jungle
freak whistle
gone are the days when a corpse would flat freely
black candy Giro Benefit
the petrol slowly seeps from the corpse's eyeholes
black bunny Morph Realingnment
porridge tasted better in prison
my top ten favourite TV shows of the '90s...
1. Bee Watch (a concise peek into the secret life of everyone's favourite* animal the Bee)
2. Melon Kong - as the Sweet Youth Orchestra sand 'everything that comes into my head on a sunny day is glorious'
3. Flame of your Life - a long (3 hour) look at the many boyfriends of Syd Barrett
4. the Wheel Woz Square - humour but as Dali meant it 
5. i Do Not Know where my Boyfriend is - do you speak using 'slang' no? then you will not enjoy this!
6. Penny for an Apple - a dark and somewhat foreboding murder mystery - do not give away the ending as that is the entire reason for watching this shit
7. Game of Weak Actors - a period piece made for the easily amused
8. my Forest - a bunch of travelling dandies sit still for 30 mins to talk about their fave forests in england
9. the Pie 

*excluding folks what are allergic to a bee sting


10 worst rock groups of the '90s
Oasis Foot Stall
Puppy Freaks
The Dancing Wet Wipes
Clive James Indie Filler
the Petrol Whips
Caged Pears
The Big Wet Wipes
Massive Persons
The Wet Mildew Kids
The Feast of Jacky










Wednesday, 27 May 2026

Blond Reptile Promo Shot

 




bean salad
goblin's sweet breads
Winston Churchill had a tiny dried monkey paw in his locker
a tired onion floats on my sea of mushy pea
the travelling window blackman

shoeshine host on Nutmeg talespin hospital roster
plastic bobby police officer in the water unrelated CB
cut meg police cist
traffic bulldozer open wound manifesto
helicopter prancing around the shop hospital
a cuboid glance at faraway places
the Pakistani wood rot connection
the open-heat wound apple with fur at it's core
fur and naked potential for Yeah Yeah Hospital Radio Cartographer
the Po Po memoir of Dusseldorf Fetch My
someone is listening to my gravy-splattered recollection
Tolkien head wound pastiche
wolf and the gravy monitor
Masterpiece thumb theatre (with extra bread roll encore)
spaniel online traffic
the Tolkien Heritage Brain Fever Disco
the gas man was a flower-arranger
eating cheese as i await my trial to begin
a hankie juts from a hetrosexual's sports coat pocket on tuesday morning
i spotted Buzz Aldrin walking nonchantly around the moon's surface
lunar has a face which haunts my every dream
monitored human leftover
pleasure to do business with a reformed cherub
Antic tales from long before Shopping Channels started
my antique blond beard
could you get more from your wet suit?
i disguised the murder victim with things we got from the forest
a goose wearing ankle-length socks on NetFlicks
i spent sunday morning working on a response to the 'frosty blow job' complaint
bungalow poo 
the pardoned Boston Cake Eater
french league tablets
a Pakistani shrimping boat slowly makes it's way out of port as a young lad continues to shout 'there are no shrimps off the coast of Pakistan'
Pakistani colouring book
The officer took my sweaty hand and led me to the prison from which this day hence forth i would call home
huh i just pinned a hard boiled egg to my lapel for a festival
Zippy wrapped all in plastic
i photographed a picture of a prisoner wrapped head to toe in plastic. i printed off the picture and stuck it on my cell wall
the bastard had too many toes on one foot. this reminded me of a police officer i once knew in -
plastic unbridled sex joy in cheap market town in North Eastern England
slipped a bread roll which was stale under the carpet
business class carpet - is this good?
world wide web in small isolated village
hideously hideous people in the clouds
i just saw a buffalo curiously licking an old abandoned Amiga
looking good out of the back window
an Amiga computer nestles in a hedge on a long-abandoned farmyard. we take a snapshot of the aforementioned computer in it's hedge home and put the photo up on the college wall

tape me to the chair Hondo
pig strain in Nagasaki mini hotel
blast pasta- promo shot
kid in the burn tube chamber
promising batchelor
switched off for Beethoven
Canal Plus semi porno
lid shot with twat
pig rust in dust hat
pig shot in rust video film
camera sheep sheep on film
witch hazel drug museum
pram full of custard dinner
batter fish cuisine bone chamber ledger chap book
mission to drug planet
gap year pansy
wanking for Hondo
Pitfighter butcher's dog pig 
vest ghost

Tunisian overbite
salad freak's Wob Fibula
bom'd out at Shallow Grave Fidelity Dorset Hole
prison tucker, bush tucker, witch tucker, fucker wicca
wica foldover restroom snacks





smack the wanker
must be a Salid Pig
salad pig
dodgy winter of discomfit
partridge jack-off
the pregnant itching wound
the fallacy of Tomato Sauce Motion
the Cribs are an undertaker's felt moustache
do you want to email me that photo of a gnat perched on the end of an opera singer's snout?
this i a a big pile of breakfast cereal mamma
the puss engine
pussy wig wam revival society
is Desmond coming over to see the twins?
see-thru piglet
BLAME sockpuppet manifesto

a list of weird item i saw last nite during the England 4 Mexico City 2 match - 
a lettuce bungalow
sheep in the bath tub
skinny endomorph
plankton on the left hand side of Christ
possibility of a Moon Thunderstorm
cheese pig Alexa
the mormon thirst
thirsty Lawrence
fag ash musuem
poo twin

the tooth behind your eyebrow
see beneath your teeth
sea pipe

fifteen novels i found wrapped in an old plaid shirt...
Infancy of the Witch by Markus Pole
Drifting in and out of Love by Dame Cartridge
The Phoenix Queer Tree by William Burp
Travels with my Caretaker by Murray Shoe
the Peculiar Ear Worm Draught by Ron Blaster

tha sardines have all been eaten up and bones carefully arranged into a pattern so as to resemble a monk sniffing glue in a place where automobiles are kept over night, like dem limos in that Kylie Minogue flick

i asked the caretaker if it was ok to borrow his magnets. he said 'no kid, it is not'. i got down on one knee and wept bitter tears a' regret

Orson Welles was a half-decent plumber, now that is a surprise ain't it?

Bisto between my teeth

Jim Morrison is a good singer but has a regrettable proclivity for removing his penis 

1. apple weed
2. milk cabbage
3. shunned pebble
4. bath time complex
5. weed in the bathroom
6. snake piss

PEPPERmint lucidity
the carefree spook/ghost
buying expensive graphic novels from a petrol station in Lincolnshire
did you know-the Beatles first album has a picture of a snake slithering along the River Msersey?




Tuesday, 24 February 2026

awesome day (hey Luciano)

 

L - T - B..Benitez, Saka, Barnesy, ?, Rushy, Macca, Suarez, Mo.

turtle creamer 
Hydra Thong
smells like a goat that hasn't had a bath for a while
Creole Bus Stop
druid stoppage time
cream bunions vox deluxe
Y R goldfish wobbly?
part golf fish
poisoned whistle
DVD carpachio opening
oddity waves
the fish relics in my locker
Felix in my foot locker
Star Wars Petticoat
mushrooms on my lipstick
T Rex Cyclops
Bradley Bradley
mushroom pumps
pumped like a shit valve
cyclops rex
mashed potato and gravy makes the daydreamers weep
bone leaf
cold calling the French Ghosts
there's all stinging nettles stuck in pancakes
turtle in a skank puddle
whistling into the wind on Colic Day
walking up the Andes range with Father Thomas and his kid brother
unmentioned names from the back pages 
listing otters
fitchlow on my dorm room
sand flesh
lion tamer's wet dream
slimeball haemorrage
wet petal skin
deep in the sucker remote egg
catepillar snog rocket
pulse rocker dandelion flitch
strained dreams




analogue shoe beach strainer
reading a book in the bath with a rubber duck turning the pages
climb up the wall and see Pegasus

soap and cloud skin
Nevergod
wax animal
diamond dogs in the mosh pit
Bowie Turnips
Peter Mosh
metal Chinese calendar
chemistry tramp
rope of geese
rope of cheddar
mental Chinese calendar
looking at the time clock socks
wearing socks in the bordello
Chinese DVD tooth paste
Korean Buffalo mask and accompanying face mask
face paint trolley bungalow freaks
painted faces in the outhouse
freak penguin face paint scared child
i played soccer with a butcher
fake paddle wanker's day
sorcerer's egg apprencticeship
horse mask on the ship
dip slime relief task




the sugar that got shot up in lieu of heroin
heroin on the cable
wire of heroin
a train full of heroin

pitiful cable
Hollywood sad bastards
punchbowl doggies