'Paris Norfolk'
'Bad World'
'January 01'
'People I Never Met (Part 1)'
'Head-Chimp'
'Acid Rebirth (Reboot)'
there’s a devil in the back yard (punching holes in the tyres) / front lawn strip-tease / the operatic yawn / childish toe nails
more jazz for you, then / more twat for me, then / no no I am not Caramel Elvis..that’s my brother / Pedestrian TV have neglected to inform us that we are indefinitely banned from making any more shows about death and disease etc./No need for Japanese people to act cool/ sepulchre full of candy, gemstones and poems written by grade three Japanese girls / Crispin Hellion Glover got really excited about seeing the mysterious Level G (Norwich Dusseldorf) Christopher Gilbert and Bleeding Tom Mills reading from Echo Trip AKA The Selfish Carpet.. In German etc / Sick pickle / who was Gomer Pile? / I put Russell dust in the colonel’s supper / a big bag of recreational drugs for my father / plastic grapes / the sewer babies dried out in the sun / I hollowed out my head in preparation for the rearrival of the infant cubes / infanticide is not ‘my thing’ / we taught our kids how to sing but didn’t bother with the piano playing skills / my lion-like teeth/spooked out by my brother’s hairy baby / my naked thumbs were covered in dust and filth / I was covered in deitrus from the space shuttle / my teeth need washing/stylish eyebrows of European / only idiots make love via a computer/medieval skin /
I thought i told you to put down your hair brush and come and clean my teeth for me/the progressive pagan / I ritually abandon my skin but this does not make me a snake, oh no.. I am 100 per cent human and I feel love and pain, just like you/ i couldn’t help staring at the spaceman’s tits / potential bride of slaughtered bachelor/ / junk shop baby /Slumped over the rocking horse / potential porn stars litter my flat /
junk shop slapper /it’s been a long time since I went to Ethiopia / I find myself dreaming of my dead girlfriend more and more each week / my cassette of ‘The Simpson’ episode featuring Thomas Pynchon was mysteriously stolen whilst my back was turned / I videoed myself eating a rotten old peach (and put in on web) / modern gents on motorcycles / I took off my hat and placed it on the head of the balding man/ my foot jut moved of its own volition / skanky girl’s diatribe in cheap bargain shop / jam on my sideburns / I gulped down the skanky liquor and headed off for the disco / birthday breath / I shaved my body in preparation for the mud wrestling match / cobweb dog / I reached my hand into the air and wished I was a girl / I shat my leather pants, Mamma / software chump/David Letterman shaved for my mother / hi I’m D Letterman and I’m dating your mother / my son in law speaks nothing but pig English / liberty of the former dead men / I am unable to wear a hard hat as my head is too soft / I put my foot on your belly/ juicy penguin / shaved skeleton / I go to sleep with the devil and wake up with Jesus / my eyeballs are so creamy, mother / 1. Jandek’s mysterious portions / 2. the benefit of blame / bomb sight / I just witnessed my girlfriend being chatted up by Eric Idle / my father came back from ‘The States’ and handed me the following VHS cassettes..'Rocky’, ‘Rocky 2’, ‘Rocky 3’ and #’Rocky 4’ / I live inside a very small organ drum / dark-skinned ghost / men who refuse to dwell in refrigerated cauldrons / I dipped my fingers in the hot soup / emperor’s teeth / children disappear down the back of the sofa / deleted teeth/Chinese eyelids / it feels good to cry at midnight/
'Paris Norfolk ('Juggling Jim')'
'You and Me'
'Your Best Smile'
I thought i told you to put down your hair brush and come and clean my teeth for me/the progressive pagan / I ritually abandon my skin but this does not make me a snake, oh no.. I am 100 per cent human and I feel love and pain, just like you/ i couldn’t help staring at the spaceman’s tits / potential bride of slaughtered bachelor/ / junk shop baby /Slumped over the rocking horse / potential porn stars litter my flat /
junk shop slapper /it’s been a long time since I went to Ethiopia / I find myself dreaming of my dead girlfriend more and more each week / my cassette of ‘The Simpson’ episode featuring Thomas Pynchon was mysteriously stolen whilst my back was turned / I videoed myself eating a rotten old peach (and put in on web) / modern gents on motorcycles / I took off my hat and placed it on the head of the balding man/ my foot jut moved of its own volition / skanky girl’s diatribe in cheap bargain shop / jam on my sideburns / I gulped down the skanky liquor and headed off for the disco / birthday breath / I shaved my body in preparation for the mud wrestling match / cobweb dog / I reached my hand into the air and wished I was a girl / I shat my leather pants, Mamma / software chump/David Letterman shaved for my mother / hi I’m D Letterman and I’m dating your mother / my son in law speaks nothing but pig English / liberty of the former dead men / I am unable to wear a hard hat as my head is too soft / I put my foot on your belly/ juicy penguin / shaved skeleton / I go to sleep with the devil and wake up with Jesus / my eyeballs are so creamy, mother / 1. Jandek’s mysterious portions / 2. the benefit of blame / bomb sight / I just witnessed my girlfriend being chatted up by Eric Idle / my father came back from ‘The States’ and handed me the following VHS cassettes..'Rocky’, ‘Rocky 2’, ‘Rocky 3’ and #’Rocky 4’ / I live inside a very small organ drum / dark-skinned ghost / men who refuse to dwell in refrigerated cauldrons / I dipped my fingers in the hot soup / emperor’s teeth / children disappear down the back of the sofa / deleted teeth/Chinese eyelids / it feels good to cry at midnight/
shaking off the demonolatory numbers / beautiful snafu / gorgeous tank / ringside wimps / Bog Eyes goes to Mauritius
actually, I have absolutely no interest in being a man / sugar coat me and tell me I am the girl you need / shaving on the way home / gorilla on welfare / I am my mother’s haircut / the hairy jubilee/ a look of glee on the bachelor’s face / I tossed myself off before the princess and her favourite puppy / was I supposed to forget the latest Bible entry? / my socks stink of Christmas day
his face lighted up when being reminded of his days at the peep school / I demand more time to wax my moustaches./Rocky’s organ / that taste you get in yer mouth after eating bad fruit/ Why don't you buy a dog? You're a dog cook. / my fish floated away before meal time/
my wife taught me how to smoke properly / I am, not ashamed of my gypsy fingers / curious cyber ball (let me do the talking)
Sounds of Sorrow have just put a video in U Tube (snorting blow from the disco floor) / bell end blues / bulbous prixx
people fear hermetic coffin / he shaved his head before breakfast / smiling at passing cyclists / king o’ skin / golden eye lashes of beautiful ladies / blame it on the barrater / kids in the smoking room / or should that be a flower book for the pocket shave / eyebrows of raspberry and other berries / nortical hand waves / corporate pussy / omitted by the fried egg society / shaving on the moon / stung by god / glorious gash bag / let’s eat the Anthony / it’s easier to look away but I tend to get drawn to death and destruction / eat my opinion / hot emolument from street clinic venture / the Kinks are on the moon / shaving cash
I wasn’t too fond of brittle idiots (I have to tell you this) / golden hippo / shaved teeth / fire up the boiler a likkle more
followed around the night club by a man dressed in bishop’s robes / gently stroking Mickey Mouse’s moustache
Kingdom of bones / followed around Mars by a stocky man in dungarees (with several felt tip pens sticking out of his pocket)
I have always admired my father’s moustaches / sing song with demon / goats in the movies / morbid teeth / special tooth
blind man at the controls / would you like to see my signed copy of Judge Dred’s new LP / what colour is water? / biblical lips she got her lips removed / children playing computer games when they should be tidying up their hairstyles
I have to ask you…did you ever get a book of girls with moustaches? / corrupted by Mark E Smith (wish bone list)
I have to TRY to meet him so I can ask him about the moustache book! / I often dream of caged astronauts / colours of moon
my new favourite Bolivian Jazz Funk band is ‘Wee Willy Wank Stain and the Cum Loafers’ / moonage dragoon / I painted eyes on my eyelids so it looked like my eyes were open when they were in fact closed / that lovely feeling you get when easing yourself in the swimming pool / caligynephobe at the fashion shoot / modern haircuts in 1961 / I have always preferred a one-fingered salute / I wiped the tears away from my eyes before entering the karate club /
she kept a dish of eyeballs on her dining room table / Wee Willy Skank and the damaged dragons of Ethiopia
falling asleep to Ceefax / Seefags / no no I am sure it was a sea fag (sea faggot) / I’m running out of sorrow / the day I ran off with Kip Spencer (the Dixon dairy daydream carnival shoe stopper – don’t walk barefoot over broke glass) / broken girls keystroke orchestra (yes it is 2014) / scab rockers / may i refer you to page 426 of ‘Travails with my Father’ / broken winey
a list of people who I wish there was a possibility that I might, one day, make love to / hey man, not all foxes hate chickens
2047 entry:- I found my long-lost ‘Clams Casino’ CD underneath the preserved corpse of Daniel Radcliffe / 10 uses for a broken arm / I waved at Daniel Radcliffe and he retorted with a dirty bird.. I shall never watch the Harry Potter movies again/
I bribed Bolivian fish market trader to show me his toe nails / Greek piss / this club is full of cock/ broken shoe blues / tubeway scaremonger/ / hydrated corpse / bring me some sugar.. I want to sweeten my teeth/
Trevor is on the cannabis again, Aunty Jitter /war is more boring than one would imagine / hairy cockerel in my garden
a man wearing a fur coat on a really hot day / Rambo does not appreciate poetry / my daughter’s erotic poems were pinned up in my living room / I appreciate your concern but, really, I don’t want to shave my beard off today / silent scooter/an Indian boy’s paper-thin moustache / text message reads ‘I want to see the golden cuckoo’ / Nazis in love / Basra shoot Kitten/
my new girlfriend used to be called Emily Kitchen, but now she isn’t / did you – captain Beefheart had too many fingers / blank stare from space/cess pit treasures / look what we found in the cess pit!!!/
you may as well lie on the floor and cover your face with towel provided / mesmerised by Sid Barrett’s penultimate panting. Eileen decided to shave off her facial hair and go on a date with the kick boxer (poems written on my kitchen wall)
sink in the kitchen/Albanian chug / I lost my car keys and then lost my lover/I could never have guessed how cruel you would be /not everybody deliberates over what they’re going to say / the curtains were coated in dust and grime, but the coffee table was immaculate / I thought I saw my ex wife standing in the snow, counting her fingers 1,2,3.. / I spent all of my cash on mink coats for the wife and smelling salts for my son / dirty old teeth chomping away on the disease-ridden gums /
I just spotted the man they call Jacques walking around town with the donkey under his arm / felt-tip pen all over your cheeks
since when was cutting off a man’s tie a sign of affection? / French headache / headache caused by New Modern Art
kiss my puss and wave goodbye for quite some time / bleeping like an ambulance / Christian pussy / cowboy of jazz
sexy ambulance drivers tend to be gay / promise me you’ll never talk to the androids again / sex in a space suit
damp rampage (post-sex revival) / cigarettes and bitches / I always put on a C86 compilation of African jazz and Belgian drone music before having sex / white soul what is washing up liquid? (genital relic) / Maniacal suicide coughing up syrup(s)
we sat around in jumpers and ate cakes etc. / detecting a hint of suicidal mania / day 1 I lost my ID / breakfast boner .
I am mad about sausage prize. / got mixed up with Kid Afro and the doomed drummer / puff on a tractor
too many farm animals on the moon / modern jazz baby baby / shoving mixed fish into pipes
I found an old second-hand copy of ‘The A to Z of the Castles of Cologne, West Germany’ on the back of my grandfather’s head gypsy sleeping in the kip pipe / I spent most of the journey admiring the bejewelled fingers of the gypsy
passages to Rodent Street / my best friend Norman Sawyer is dead ‘till Christmas (Head Gypsy)
I have told Meteor Baby to get his finger out of the pipe, but he won’t listen
the moment you realise that you look silly when you make a fist / slump baby – slum baby
slumped over the whore’s breakfast table
Day-Glo army ( bozo shine ) /Winston never did find his lost pineapples / sewer pipe baby / Eland Diouf lives in a swamp
Disney eared (heat wave0 / heat wave soup for Disney Kenny / IRA fashion parade / the dead men of Santa Bola Square
,..how we got our life mixed up with the life of the Jazz Rodents / crazed in the heatwave (sucking on 90 tits) / peace-time mash
the top level slaves have blue moustaches / celebrating Christmas with a tin can and an un-playable Duke Ellington LP
does the gorilla have to go on drums? . / MG did I tell you that you are wonky yet beautiful? / Goo and Sugar. /I spent the day trimming my toe nails and handing out pastries to the homeless / jazz fly-over (Kathy Burker is sexy) / dummy empire
listening to the Can canon in a kind of dreamlike state of mind / Deadlock Whiskyman; Deadlock dream house / soul denier Jackie Oere’s pulsating brain (Chinese mammagramme) / pulsating death throb / Mungo in the board room / shaving on the top deck / dope depository / Kathy Burkka is my tenth favourite in / I love to feel the alligator on my feet / deep-sea deadlock / fishing manuals buried in the sea/ I have always been attracted to sea turtles / I slipped my fingers into the freshly-churned butter /
Iggy was my saviour / East German ambulance music / soundtrack to the burial / temperature of a demon / schoolyard sex
I thought only gypsies wore plastic shoes (or is that wood?) / camp soundtrack to the gay summers / illustrated guide to hookers
the janitor slipped off his death mask and headed off to Never Never Land / beautiful suspect / choking on coma bones
Don't Turn The Light On, I’m coming back home / Howling desert / Mother showed me the sky for the first time in my life don’t you bring The Rain (jaded orchestra) / diving into muff. / she brings nothing but rain and filth / don’t talk to the dead
Elizabethan hand gestures . I ingested the pills and took off my rain coat and smoked some ‘shit’ / Christ hates Christmas
cock up your bumper and run towards the North / occidental treatise / Northern birds (Northern broads) / Soho Mojo/
I thin kit is same to assume that we will not be dining with Jimmy Saville tonight / I am now starting to enjoy empire of filth
we erroneously told our mum that she would be reunited with Slave Dog when she arrived on the Moon
days out with the Christian scaremongers / of course, I eat nothing but pork chops these days / summer fear /the furry summers from first base (heart string) / I’m starting to understand you, Rocky/ mobs on the moon / diseased soundtrack / I slipped my feet into the gypsies plastic shoes and made my way to the free festival / my fingers smell of tiger skin/dancing to the burial soundtrack / we used to love sex/
she brings you noting but death / I took my memories straight from her head / Aubrey the dead onion - fish paste teeth
shits on Everest (YTIWW) whatever / we reached the summit of the mountain and immediately popped some ecstasy
coconut breath / ripe creeper jazz cassette (4 children) / my boyfriend has good breath / my boyfriend’s best feature is his chocolate eyebrows / Colonel Dust Cloud is my 88th favourite jazz pianist / jazz library haircut / we filled in the gaps in her teeth with a pencil / I shied away from the Bitch Queen / you look ugly even in that new tank top / I took off my vest and jumped into the lesbian’s hot tub / grandma living her dream (spending time with apes) / I ate like a hungry ape / she’s a smashing looking bird, just a shame about the verdescent teeth / I promised I would kill your daughter-in-law / memories of a malcontent / gypsy rowing a boat all the way home /my German address / privation must not prevent you from enjoying your summers / but Malcom..skinning your own animals is FUN / buttered kidneys – I shocked my wife by revealing a tattoo on my arse which was a map of a Caribbean island which tragically sank in 1988 (she had never noticed this tattoo before, hence her shock when i revealed it to her) / leave the pilchards be..they are for my little kitten/got some meat for me?/you think you are better than me because your breast are larger/pig in the bathroom/new favourite baby / crushed at Xmas/sweaty fat people stuck in corridors / my brain is soaked in petrol and rancid butter /
God hates Christmas / god hates Christians / Muslim dinner date / funky ‘n’ fat / paynim eating all the cottage cheese
Spike Jones soundtracked that summer we spent in the dilapidated hut / my memory is haunted by the promising child
we spent most of 1983 listening to the wonderful jazz / I gave out biscuits to babies of jazz / transferred out of the chitlin circuit
the bordello was very disappointing as all the women were extremely ugly / Tank baby Blues / an Arthurian Christmas
I love a party with a kinky atmosphere / dipping my skinny fingers in the bachelor’s soup / Christian haemorrhage
in bed with the beano din / beautiful flange / now that Kelvin is the boss of men / Care Bear luncheon / afraid of Otter Man.
going to Shrewsbury on a Tuesday with the dean of science / crazed like an African wolf / can sausage pie be eaten as a dessert?
don’t give pie to skeleton chops (skeletal chops) / I got frozen out last night..and I woke up this morning feeling good
I shaved my bicycle / carping on a bout the state of the ladies day chamber / Mr T’s eyelids / gay caravan/ Felix in the night kinky wizard/I have always enjoyed looking at baby’s clean teeth / despite her teeth being clean, she still could not get served /
who made mummy wince? / I am fully au courant with the comings and goings of Peaches Geldof / steal cave-dwelling babies
I pickled the glamour model’s brain / we were presented with a glass of stale for the journey home / whistled at wolf
assessing the wolf child / bags of cringing old people / salad days in hockey arena / holiday in Hades (yeah I need you)
big black apples were raining down from the green sky / I memorised the words to ‘Poetry Ocean’ by Skanking Jim Phillip
the boys laid their war souvenirs out on their mum’s kitchen table / African number 01 / the eternal return / jazz panoply
I just ate a fish supper with Beat Takeshi / chucking small fry at a blind walrus / Japanese happening / snake in a loop
discussing classical philology (and Nintendo games) with Ulrich von Wilamowitz-Moellendorff / throttled half to death by a girl who once worked in Boots / unuria sufferers sitting around drinking a lot of water / harmless sixties /the ginger rerun
rewired baby / remedy for a ginger supermodel / cool hands of demon / dogs won’t eat cabbage/ the furry baby from the cabbage patch turned out to be the son of my mum’s best friend / Deirdre, Pat and Kevin go to Leeds for the day /
we spotted the king without his make-up on / them farded Beatles / I fell in love with a lamp post / men in the sea without boats
agrarian families with mud on their beautiful eyelids / we love this land and we will not leave / mythical USA dogs
extant legendary movie stars should be kissed on the cheek frequently / I will not leave Death Row, even if they make me
I forgot what my mother told me to do today, so I went for a walk with the dream kids / my life with ghost of Kate Bush
. so I floated in the sky with the released balloon animas / emancipated balloon animals floating in the sky
in love with a midas (again) / overwhelmed by crowded empty streets / babes of canal / positive filth (troll reject) / forcing rancid butter down a young man’s throat / cancer traffic /
the charcoal wolf / my favourite day of the year is ‘Tuesday’ (any of ‘em) / jazz library hairstyle
rejected suppers litter the canteen / Great Aunt Nell has three fingers on every hand / kill me now, mummy (IA)
I just finished making love to the drummer from Blur / only students listen to ‘Pink Christmas’ music / trump music
jazz library killer (death jazz) / I gave birth to my son in the local ossery / Fein mouths on outdoor faces.. / Ossified man the
I decided to listen to Blur instead of Oasis and I chucked my Oasis tapes in the River Seine / motorway mouth
I got Phidias to make me a sculpture of Ian Botham for the local cricket museum / bathetic life of John Phidias
homecoming king is walking through the night with a lollipop in his gob / erotic panophobia / the queer jazz
mamma called in The Diamond Dogs, but it was too late to save the macho kings from being ‘turned’
lack of rectitude amongst the modern jazz players / malapropos bones / hairpiece meal for the man who eats hair
created for a hair sculpture /Amos Moses and the drunk innards/ secret pickle / pickled innards/2 fingers of rum should be enough to sate my thirst, thanks / I built a garden from cabbages and bones/
disgusted by death / remove my body but leave my head / raincoat link / did you know this.. Jimmy Jazz had plastic bones
I dream of walking on carpets whilst listening to the Queer Jazz / I put the eyeballs on ice and danced with the fascist
gorilla scrums / I don’t really want to fall in love with the big gals / honey-coated corpse / Alex Format from one to zero
I lost the keys to the kingdom down the back of the sofa / death at the Olympic Games / honesty bucket / drugged sailors
damaged kangaroo (damaged by careless tourist) / I took a sip of Vermouth and proceeded on to the zoo
it’s a shame Bird didn’t get locked out of the sweet shop / osteal kids should be fed more cake / do ghosts have eyelids?
I was attracted to my girlfriend by her milk-white eyebrows / Gary Bar Fly taught me how to whistle the show tunes
Beautiful men parading their moustaches around the town (catching the eye of the deformed school mistress)
my teacher’s final factum brought about the beginning of the start of New World / orange spots on the baby
pestilent breakfast / daddy’s on the cough syrup again / big bowl of dub / creamy reunion (2) / biscuit tin beauty /specifically African darkness / Porth Meridian / the dankness hang around until the pony got home (MLPT) /
my girlfriend has a thing for Jeff Goldblum..it’s a small effigy she made of him out of clay and bread / Eric is deformed
labourer ordure all over my sitting room carpet / sitting in the shade of the octopus moon / ankle juice / Voss on your lap
autarky is impossible when you keep throwing very lavish parties (including massive banquets with top-end hookers)
men of Sparta sitting around discussing modern shaving techniques / God is on a break / Blur or Oasis, Athens or Sparta?
we had Dracula round for dinner and he refused to bite our necks / slags from Salop / nautical slag (nautical eyebrows)
this is not a reasonable price for a glove puppet / Diana Spencer puts sex on display for everyone / fashion vultures
Plato probably already though of that, John / Blur once got to number 06 in the Greek Top 40. / creepy Monday (not Sunday)
the day all those refulgent kids died in the morning / red language (filthy mattress) / sexy pig / my attic smells of gay people / i never knew I had such a beautiful moustache until I won 'moustache of the day’ in January 1988 /
Mesmerised by a bright yellow gravestone / proclivity towards listening to damp eye music /Popeye Idol
farrago of deadly animals / ostrich in my bed / my dad always wore his cardboard moustache to work
rare author with gravy stained teeth / corpse over the rainbow / Disney fingers / nature baby/Peter and Giles always had a strong desire to visit the moon / I heard that the moon is a shit hole / I was adopted by an eccentric business woman – she sent me to school with a brick / my memory is fading but my tits are still pert /
…and then a worm popped out of the ground and talked to us for half an hour in Mandarin Chinese / man or fish?
I licked some liquid from the sweaty show girls’ glossy lips / men eating ice creams on Sat afternoon / faggot in space
a blank stare from The Alligator Lady / lost and found in liquid State / curious steed / bastard in the lounge / back-up trotters
what is or was or might be, Sherman? / Sherman Oaks dunked whilst in drag / emergency hand job / viscid feet of Insect Kid
we finally located the E3 swamp and discovered an old ‘Man or Astroman’ tape floating on top of it / Heroin bone
is the anything more utterly pointless than a cucumber pie? / embarrassed by the mess that is my new hairstyle
smells like King Corduroy / the new age of Nirvana tested even the floppiest of flops / dream drugged dragon
half-arsed vidimus / Christmas knee teammate / floating towards the moon with just a jumper on / the Christian alphabet
The gourmand waited patiently for his African banquet / memories of Black Regent / hospitalised fist / Grandpop’s busted chops
Grade A idiots of Balmoral / Ballistic squad morality / tears from above / treasures of Leyton Orient / I became
why are Christian infants always androgynous? / we left the Christian banquet before the prayers commenced
the magpie showed me his wonderful glitter collection, and I felt a mixture of admiration and envy / dance of the half-deceased
I left my best toothbrush in Magaluf cheap hotel / deserted by the love rat / my girlfriend has a bisexual bicycle
donkey jazz library / men who are scared to be loved / sweet tits of Sugar Babe / the suicide banquet / gorillas will be missed
African astronauts trying to convince English women to help them take their space suits off / assaulted by champion
dogs trading for fish / under the auspice of a really hard-looking regent / I regret the arrival of toothless baby / jazz slags
I sat eating pickled onions as the cry-baby once again commenced his wailing lamentation / why did God make you that way?
man or Elvis? / the masque player didn’t actually have a mask on..he actually looked like that! / the day Batman shat his suit
the reticule contained most things a lady would need, and some bullets / puffed doggie / men called Daniel walking backwards
we renamed the Bush Baby ‘Hash Baby’, as we could smell ganja on his breath / my night out with Spooky Clogs
men named Phillip are not necessarily going to join a massage club / yes, I think I might take off my anorak in a minute
getting turned on by the dogs of middle England / oh sure you know how to keep those trotters away from your luxury parts
a list of celebrities who suffer from elephantiasis / no one takes pride in their hair anymore / bullied from the waist up
Yard Baby upset my girlfriend’s best pal’s dog / the brain surgery is best performed a huis clos / cruel finger naisl / we subjected the teenagers to a bout of Christina signing / childish splinters / Chinese splinters./ Tom hanks is my boyfriend /
the boy drowned at sea and they never did find out his cap size / distant memories of a cheese-eating ghost / splendid deodorant
he kept post-it notes all over his flat as a mnemonic aid / such nice examples of infant beret / the great spirit leveller
stuck in the jungle with Jack Vermin / jungle vermin / the death of the hired man / ..maybe that is why I am menial labourer
We showed the proselyte our drawings and poetry and he made his excuses and left / Bores got lost in the umbilical jungle
does Guillaume Apollinaire ever have a normal day (your internet doesn’t tell you anything)? / juicy hogg for my breakfast dancing with Killer Mike / ladies dandruff / day out with the tooth doctor / Egyptian eyelids / god’s ogling everyone
oh to be a bottled child / foreign legion attacked cuckoo king / defunct otter / gadding about town with the relaxed kings
staring at an elephant’s face for over 2 hours when on acid. / high society vs ‘the squares’ / oh to be a bottled kid / farm worm photo shoot for crappy supplement / magazine intestines/ kids from the laundry / I poisoned my own teeth/Derek is an ugly name for a baby, don’t you think? Sex with strong girls/stuck in Vietnam with no shoes on / you keep on reading those magazines and eating all that suagr..you’re gonna end up like me, baby / river boat pussy / I changed my name so you could find me /sexy strong girls / tougher than your sister, even/ we appreciate you coming round here to show us your new haircuts / my fingers were soiled as was my face / divorced horse / my bent friend is a complete idiot / I’m not fat enough to be a man-baby / fed me, I am hungry Chinese girl/bearded garden / hungry in China/supermarket Sooty / I shot a panda bear for kicks / egg shell blond or egg shell blind? / let the chimp decide / panda gums / the secret soup / cowboy boobs / touch those cowboy boots and you will die (yes) / Biblical Meat will be ready soon, in the mean time here are some Christina pigeons / sonic sock puppets/we put Jesus on ice/ Jimmy Tarbuck on ice/
the children wrapped the cadaver in cling-film and proceeded to prod it with a plastic fork /my child’s teeth were 90% sweet
I took down the trull’s leather mini skirt and switched on ‘The Best of Kids on a Saturday’ (Vol.02) / deformed map reading / lonesome howl / beyond the ditch / laundry butter (laundry butler) / Stuart Gulliver taught me to sing backwards /we found a tennis ball on the moon / mummy’s laughter / the blind pulse / deformed kid (snot patties) / I have developed an obsession for coming up with new ways of making love to my girl / farming at midnight (Jack is under pressure) / toad dog in Christian sect / jugs of cement / jugs of perfume / jugs of deodorant / forgotten boy sitting on his own reading the Koran (AV) / I joined a club and I felt wanted again / my girlfriend left me because my slippers stank / we commenced with the hand clapping at 4.46am and we didn’t not stop until every last teenager had stopped behaving in an abusive manner / pissed animals make me laugh / filthy sunrise / a vegetarian who hates animals.. / pissed by 11.15am / spectral modesty (spatial modesty) / afraid of Cliff Thorburn’s moustache – DUK Cliff has yellow fingers / cottage opera / meat-free opera (that is more like it, she said) / look towards me.. me I am you in 2003 (holiday in Africa) / African in wellies / I learned how to draw and read from the ‘Viz’ magazines that had been left behind by the previous astronaut / I am born an astronaut – I am your teacher (friend of teenager) / skinny animals in the zoo / I am perfumed killer / groaning in the bath tub / preambling around the cemetery / I cut myself off from the astronauts / the golden pipes reminded us we were not at home / I sent my Polish daughter to buy me some frog spawn / dead energy . /the spaghetti engine / I got you between my thumb and forefinger, little man / my cloak was dangling in the horse manure / every small provincial town has its own Madam George / I pickled your teeth at the weekend/
Following that finding, here are a couple of other sources I read that proved some form of ambiguity (full of pudding) / I couldn’t manage to have sex because I was full of pudding / belly full of acid / my girlfriend left me because my hair was too curly / I shouldered the blame for the death of your best pal/skanky girls on the moon. /The surface of the moon is covered in cocaine/we concreted the surface of the moon / we will tarmac the moon / tarmac Mars/ Jimmy Tarmac on mars/
Pallor of the 91 per cent dead / why one earth would somebody choose to live in Rochdale? / wild muppets / Muppet load
malism is not something I particularly subscribe to, Scratch / A taste of the future and the past in one hearty meal
bifurcate haircuts of the teenaged lads / re-tweet this when you get the chance..'Steven Watson is heterosexual’
ethologist studying behaviour of a rat on a Wednesday evening (when he should be cooking dinner for the fat kids)
Spanish ankles / it’s time for the new childish dream / gentleman’s aigrette should be worn at a ‘jaunty’ angle, boy
the man who loved to look at boys with centre partings in their hair / even though I hate it, I take pleasure in it on a daily basis
we traded fresh produce for a bag of Korean firearms / Popeye’s robes have been put on display / buttoned up thinking
legendary breakfast / champion tit bits / fear of hair characterised the late 60s and early seventies / second-hand ducks
reticent TV host on U Tube/ I knew you were a dead man from looking at yer eyes / do ghosts have eyelids?/ I flicked cigarette ash onto the cowboy’s new boot / my splendid indifference to death of Peter Sellers/back street plankton / can we go home now, killer?/the Aussies (I call ‘em ‘Ozzies’) forced me to grow beard and moustache / Tom’s moobs turn them on / elastic hangover /
I already told you how much I admire the teacher’s eyebrows / governed by filth / ordure all over the door handle/my gut spilled out onto the babba’s head/will I always be ‘core-class’, Kim? / I studied the corpse until the smell overwhelmed me/
tall Scandinavian women always seem to get more attention than ancient hoary landladies. / Todd one Todd two / Christian buffet/ happiness is a myth
Yellow-skinned hostage of a blind man (pop heavy pop) /we had sex on the ironing board / Mars makes me feel uncomfortable there will be no tears when we land on the moon (yes..i know you miss Trevor and Dolly; but you can find new pals)
submerged scoundrel (underwater scoundrels) / one-legged cetologist/ recollecting the frog-mouse war / songs of leviathan
the ambulance driver has a sun tan / I can’t remember how to get to the TV room / burnt by the pseudo sun / customer’s fangs
jactating the severed heads of the champion athletes / ‘woof woof’ said the champion dawg / the saddest slag in the whore house
a common epithet for my legendary father is 'The Big Big Man’ (so big they named him twice) / distant haircut /lady’s hangover
an orphan crying on the steps to a derelict building was the saddest thing I ever saw /another elastic hangover / dead man’s nosejob /nursery school violence/ I want to suck the emperor’s toes/
we gave a ‘Guided by Voices’ cassette to the sweet pessimist / Marky Mark is back - USA is guided by trolls / entry-level mendicant/ entry-level haircut / intermediate nose job / the day they sent an Iranian monkey into space (and filmed it on their phones) / I chucked my eye phone at the passing snot-nosed business suit man /
a Goth who is secretly into Mithraism / hats off to furry Russian men / destroy yourself in the evening / discerptible phone book
’cut it off’ cried the saint balefully /my grandpops kept empty soup cans in his garden shed / black eyes of astronaut
guilty of standing still whilst those around you were playing sports and dancing etc. / lady, you made me boring
..and then he mumbled something about the emancipation of the working classes / confirm the worm / crying out for a pig in a blanket / inside the higs bason / ghost baby in the incubator / TLO – Trading Arms with Aussie rules footballer / Fleshy parts under the nostrils / Russian coconut / there are no coconuts in the Soviet Union (or indeed in the Democratic Republic of Yugoslavia) / room temperature corpse / fairground witchdoctor (all change) / wanker on the moon/ my father-in-law’s flat stinks of acid / woops..i dropped some acid / men on speed running around the city / we put grandpops back in the coffin and headed off for the brothel /Brothel in Sweden (I like sex) / death in Ikea/went to lunch with the two Kims / my animalistic behaviour most certainly will be tolerated when I move to the zoo/ / Indigo king eating apples / the rejected chutney will make a decent present for that woman who works in admin / a bag of bones is not a suitable gift for a ten year old lad /brother in Sweden / it’s not unusual to get a bland haircut these days/we dunked the witch in the swimming pool (and she got chlorine in her mouth) / sniffing ‘round the graveyard on Tuesday night / Wednesday morning scabs / prancing around the graveyard / luxury helminth / bonus DNA / poo poo on your eyelids / burnt eyelids of Jack Duckworth / I tried on Jack Duckworth’s glasses for a laugh/ donated fingers/ donated corpse/walrus gum Murphy / gummy men in sweet shops / esoteric pussy /what is your duck worth? / I took my 88 year old girlfriend to the antiques fair (to try and find some pearl ear rings which once belonged to her boyfriend) / cats in the sand, smoking cigarettes and drinking white rum / I saw my boyfriend scratching away at the ceiling/ disturbed by the sight of children in adult’s jackets/smoking cigarettes with a cowboy’s uncle / dying in the bath tub / stroke my pet rat, he might not bite!) keep your eye on the cuckoo / the duck that refused to fly. / I spent most of my lunch break unspooling my uncle’s ‘Kid Giles and the Filthy Five’ cassette / I forgot to attend my girlfriend’s funeral as I was busy combing my hair / the jazz / the sweet, yet acerbic, taste of an adult male’s sweat / I too k a little bag of eyeballs and handed them out to the hungry children/ incision/all from leftover biscuits and then had another look at my photo of Jandek growing a beard . / the day Christ blinked on the cross for the last time + the day Jandek grew a beard / I placed my hand back in my glove and made my way to the torture chamber / ..and this is where thousands of Japanese tourists / only 3 people have ever seen my grandfather’s ancient manuscripts .. and I am not one of ‘em / dirty hair on supermodel/we were pulled down into the swamp and it felt kinda nice / my beautifully deformed fingers/ we sent the troubled children to the moon / Satan in the back window of bus (jazz tiller)/I opened my bedroom curtains to find seven teenaged girls torturing some shoes in my back garden / my penis is the centre of the universe/we moved the couch to find a hole in the floor- in this hole was a wooden box..we opened the wooden box to find ten ‘Was Not Was’ audio cassettes-with inlay cards intact / I felt my teeth and realised that I was still awake (in my dreams my teeth feel soft) / I repeated ‘'the weasel under the cocktail cabinet’ over and over again/the blind alphabet / summer string/I touched my eyeball and realised I was asleep (my eyeball felt very different to how it does when one is awake)/my breath is olid because I just ate a corpse / sugar on my toto /anorexic breath / death of a good salesman (person)/ before performing oral sex on my wife., I always coat her vagina in sugar to take away the rank taste / sugar on my penis /Maxwell’s demon / one hand gesture at a time, Simeon / Magazine is dying / sugar toe/ghosts in the attic / would you loan me your shark? / I borrowed your shark / Welsh guilt – I built a house in the night with no light to aid me / Cuthbert’s blood ran all over the teenager’s new plimsolls (which were azure blue)/Nick got fixed (in the morning)/ Sweet rustling sound at 04:00AM /lonely little ghost / why am I not alone? / lonesome portent (I nailed my thesis to the pool hall wall)/I painted your fingers so they matched your bloody maw / secret piss / secret Jackson/ crabs for Jesus / got to keep my toes in my sandal./sexy cabbage / Cabbage Patch Bitches (awfully unkempt secret haircut)/burping duck / this one’s for you, Jesus/them Irish teeth / I forgot my teeth, Geoff/bull in the back of a car / Georgian fit / dentist’s breath / the dentist opened his mouth to reveal a set of rotting teeth/Trevor’s beautiful bruise / pencil-thin teeth /garnished teeth / Betty and the plump children of New Town (cake shop on every corner)/cowboy bones / mental sting/as you make your way down the corridor you will hear some splendid pipe organ music. Please feel free to take and make notes in your note pad / skimming the cream off / I wiped the cream from my mouth and shaved off my girlfriend’s ginger eyebrows / I hate ginger monkeys/we want shopping for walrus bones/ these Irish teeth of mine/Billy the kitten / tree toe jazz LP / I spend most of my free time scrutinising the private life of French pop star (who shall remain nameless ) ./ king’s finger/ medieval traffic cop / I died in the soup queue / ‘Soup Kitchen Blues’ by Fred Atlas and the Killers / chicken orchestra – Bald Bodkin / we covered the prison wall with photos of deformed old men from the countryside / feverish pash (me pash, you idol) / Billy the King Book 01 / shadow of the horrible dog / villager’s fingers/ thumb, fingers and penis / I prefer the off cuts, momma / momma in the shark –infested swimming pool / the Christian piss artist / daddy was a conchologist (yes he was) / pig looks so ugly in its pyjamas / days off from hell / feeling guilty on the last train home / disco bones/the boy with the cardboard bones/ my cardboard features / came to see the Lesbians of Dusseldorf / harmless death / I’m jealous of the chump (for he receives a great deal of sympathy from girls) / the furry toes of Jesus Christ/I will need seven orphans and a bag of turtle’s tear drops / orphan skin / last of the peanuts / Grade A punk / a temporary flirtation with the French dentist / sometimes the finger nails take on a life of their own / juicy Tuesday /boys with their backs to the circus / pilgrim in the attic / the day god said ‘hi, boys’ (in a fruity accent) / grotto baby (grotty baby?) / purple visions / we locked the fat kid away to stop him from gormandisihg everyone elese’s dinner / my favorutie cock / the clean feet police/ unbanadged ,y head and proceedd to make love to my new girlfriend for only the third time/ winter robots / library fish/ Benny Baloo failed to acknowledge the heartfelt cries from his mother-figue / mother-hugging figure / Conan’s hairline / last of the last to ask for advice / wanker on the moon / Pessimisitic pipes / school yard meat / men who wear their gloves indoors / secrets of the bingo hall / clandestine bingo / rail meat / men on the railway tracks / the secret gravyetad / vclean your teeth before dinner, Nigel /
I am the street 'Your Girl Smells Chung When She Wears Dior' / uncle Alice and the black storm / African past-time/ American memories / I fell in love with the lesbian / nothing to see – hey man,. It’s a talking book case / dead fish on thumping ground / the shrinking cat / your pussy is too big to fit thru my door flap / admiring Dali’s yellow skin / why was Salvador Dali’s skin so yellow? / the Yellow Dali / tea with a queen (bitch’s sugar) / life + times of the swamp dog / doctor’s fingernails / walrus in Woolworths / curly-haired killer / fruit balloon / I copied Jandek’s diet (or at least, what I thought it might be) / kangaroo jewels / I should never have left the bed, Jacamino Stephen / my heart beats for the slave dog / pensive teeth / the day they took his second head away (to be studied by young men in white lab coats)// prison of teeth / my sister’s deformed teeth prevented her getting a job as a top model / my grandfather refused to speak in anything but dead languages / nosejob from 18th cent. / the presence of woodpecker pants dated the movie / cuckoo germ / why would anybody want to kill the pain ? / painful roots / I overheard a conversation between a painter and a baker.. it was about absolutely nothing / could I borrow your woman’s teeth? / Richard got lost in the cardboard jungle / Afican mathematics / i actually took pride in beign the shortest boy on Mars / edible maps / Anthony Wang and the Japanese darlings/ Vietnamese treasure trove / hospital chocolate ./ the flags they were waving reminded me of my uncle’s novelty underpants / Jewish people in the sweet shop / rain baby cometh / thousand opunds was not enarly enough to tempt me down from the egg tree / you could not tem pme to come down from the egg tree..not with an offer of all the money in China/pineapples of jazz / everybody needs a smack in the balls every now and then / everyone needs to sniff their own fingers from time to time / I am in love with a girl with very blotchy skin/ ate my dinner in my fish-net stockings / he bit my sack with his middle-aged teeth / medium aged doctor’s paws / memorable liens from the 3rd worst movie of the year / I sat around and thought about my dead girlfriend / tennis ball teeth / inside the mind of a long-dead scholar /keister behind the curtains / Janice and the dead flags / Polish perm / got my hair permed in Portugal (all dagos have a perm , daddy) / permanent eyelids / I started to weep during the second performance by the signing priest / heinous valves/tight-fitting shorts on a Yank / joy of being evil / I traded my pea-green curtains for a bag of fella’s hats / roman daddy the god of the Fens / perfunctory attempt at removing the mould from your nephew’s cheese and ham sandwich / boy with the plastic tonsils / Russian grin / Joe-Beth Hancock and Nigerian shoe saleswoman / Ian loves to look at the passing motorists / dreamy boy in yr 2000 / stared for a while at the egg advertisement poster (I had nothing better to do)/ drunk poet inside sugar tin / society of cranky Indians/ we are not governors /oblong fox /shrugging hillbilly/grinning baby at End Times / shrugging hillbilly rubs dog head/ the subjugation of Daddy Kodiak / rocker’s delight in yr 2000 / taking photos of Kodiak Bears with my Polaroid camera / farmer’s cock / hillbilly incision /lick my wound, sugar imp/ punk dynamite/ I fell in love with da runt o’ da litta / uncle’s naked keister / king of black imagination /nigrescent garden/ bachelor’s armpits /cuckoo king/ vanishing actor come create unbridled movement Pakistani armistice king impressive guns, grandfather imagine nellis thinking hot emu air drilled ogre gummy koala olid lake lummock arid racing course bastar’s imagination drinking soup with ginger marvyn / Night Owls and my 12 ex girlfriends/ bleeding from without(?) / naked men on the mountain ./ shaving your teeth before breakfast/men who live in fish tanks and wear water-friendly chin straps / Marmaduke and the Medussa (and mermaid too) / foster the Top Cat / my pink eye is itching like mad / I whiled away a few hours with some Belgiamn tourist and the French actor whose name I cannot remember / Bulgarian Lesbians in the Opera House / calescent belly of couch bachelor / sometimes my stubble grows into soemthign resembling a beard/ my best friend asked to be bruied in patent leather sheos with a mummified cat / bring on Satan/
your cologne reminds me of a vampire’s bad breath / kinky inclination / is it really necessary to paint eyeballs onto your eyelids?
a strong stomach for sanguine-coated sports fights / candy ape and I / dogs are prisoners / another White House sumph/the Powder Wars (ridged deity) / garlic breath turned me on / temporary dog (machine) / I sang you a sweet lament last night, whilst killing the baby/my crusty baby /Little baby Crust Pie/corpse on the door step / grunge pie (Courtney’s pie)/hippo tits / coffin doll / summer shines on the bloated corpse of Waldorf Odeon / men with flies in their beards (will not be permitted to eat in our restaurant) / tropical dog / satchel full of moulded Buddha effigies moulded from a rare type of clay /evicted from the torture chamber / torture chamber blues/talentless egg / fish market babes of the fish market / Puff the Magnetic Dragon (oh how I love them magnetic dragons) / blistered fingers of Helio Jackson/ ancient crust / modern tits / gallery of the damned / doomed truckers/tripping in the mausoleum / grandma’s drugs/the devil has big bulgind eyes that look like tennis balls (except that they are red, not yellow) /bulding biceps of King Daddy / Bingo Lungs and Crusher the Dog Destroyer / king of the bad teeth / the cowoy removed his uniform and sat down at the drum / childhood drummer / honky tonk passio n /passion flwoe- wolf’s teeth / why the Gillespie Puff? / why the long cock/ / fat moon cubes / people who use computers are dumb / inclined to wear hats at jaunty angles / the summer smlelss putm e off my chicken rib lunch/field of whistling donkeys/ why are donkeys grey-coloured?/pregnant men with beards / standing around staring at the passing Egyptian-looking girls / they erroneously put Quentin Tarantino into quarantine / you love your Victorin mosuatche, even though it makes you look frightening to children / this beard makes me look like a bread-winer / iwon a sandwich today (Argossy in the river) /circus perfoemr on the moon/ I cleaned my teeth and then polished my boots with the rag I borrowed from Trevor / they made me give up my Eraserhead baby / the vulgar cassettes / wiped my father’s precious recording o ‘Kid Spoon and the Olive Worm’ live from Dusseldfor Shit Hole / eyes of string / I don’t love your ebard..it looks too hairy / daughters of tumbelw3ed (cassette copy) / Arab in space / I am sweet, you are not - you blasted perfume into my eyes.. you bastard/dutch plastic men / arse crack addicts / Spanish death/ big rubber-faced children / Siamese on icwe teuronic union arsehole breath nihilist inside modern society traffic Rambo cupid’s oil poofter hat elastic livelihood inside crap opportunity poofter terrorist egg rambo pulse deranged fraggle sweet death lipstick mogule/still psised that I never saw Josh T Pearson / i value your eyes too much / I’m in love with my wife’s illicit lover / how come I look so good after beign beaten to a pulp? / how come I felt so good after being beaten to a pulp ? / I counted my figners in London and I saw ../the last words ever written were a simple ‘Good bye’ / smoking drugs on the ay home from my inauguration ceremony / I taped my mouth shut and went to watch my daughter’s debut performance / sometimes we get stuck between girl and boy /
I enjoy water sports, bingo and crushing demons / women’s curse / I curse the day I met the posh explorer /Dali’s skin was blistered and raw / the summer shave /hospital pie / hospital pie (PE teacher is sexy)/ Louise’s germs (all over my hands) /curtain sperm / welcome to the last trick pony of Hollow Year Zero/ I want to break Lucifer’s moral / opened the expired can of luncheon meat and promptly puked mah guts up / Janitor’s secret mixture./German meals / Emma’s breath/me and Rag Time Willy talking about horses and eating peanuts / all through the night I looked into your nostrils/institute for the dead/ modelled on the corpse/woke up with dried cornmeal all over my maw (and a half-drunk cappuccino in my paw) / keep killing them cats, brother/Russian dandy taking his little dog out in the park / green eyes of David Hoikk/ honorary gay / the masticating cuckoo (MWC)/Colombian earthworm jazz ledger – we campaigned to get Prince kicked out of the country (too sexy) / half a sex gland on my lunch plate/milky shadows / American access in Hong Kong/the temp drummer died after eating the eggs that we left out for the stray cats / page 486 Spike Milligan chin beard Dead Jesus (I love you, sweet Inuit)/ Eskimo glue / horse paddling in the swamp/ I soaked myself at the behest of Queen Willy / jazz banquet/capsized eyes / in love with the soda jerk / helpless Caesar / Pop Tart Jesus / lips on the HM Vee Vee / pocket box/ Chinese farceur / temporary nipples/ sexual incision – the artist is never satisfied / slappy sloppy goat (A) / sold to the highest Rasta / I wanted to see you but I think you were with your dogs/John Doe and I / painted love / horse drawings / prison babies / Billy Parker and the Dead Lab Rats / coming on a toad stool at 4.45am / filthy treasure box / the babies whom grow on the moon/we put all the rockers in one hole and all the punks in another (corned beef sandwiches was allwe aever ate in th 90s) / student tears / oh oh tainted meat / unpacked my suitcase and had a nice shit / rope of sand/ Dixon Gulliver’s beaufiylly gloved fingers / childooh teeth /childhood rant/solid state Shirley / girls of NYC falling from sky (no not) / he bust hios teeth in the morning / gummy baby on the space truip / Siamese eyebalsl / Korean drum solo / they arr4ested your teeth /silver gobs of alien spciees (newly discovered)/we found Marilyn (AKA ‘The Sugar Baby’) floating face-down in the swimming pool, on my sister’s lilo / hey you, why did you punch the clock? / ‘try a cock’ I suggested to Elton John / I found John in bed with a size 10 fist / dancing to radio static (yeah it’s 1998) / closet sexist in the cupboard /
I refuse to acknowledge that my ex girlfriend was a fink for the US government / it’s time to switch off the world / too many kids in the kitchen / kitchen sex / Jailhouse Jesus /Lesbian book keeper / Alsatian gland / kids smoking pipes in playgrounds/
we discovered the fossilised remains of Christ (and the Scotsman wouldn’t let us sell them on E-Bay) / deleted echo
guilty of standing too close to another man / a small bottle of hotel shampoo which was once partially used by Black Rooty
Elvis loved to be caressed with gloved fingers / I dream of capital punishment / a middy a day makes the horse run faster
all kids love factory-produced pancakes / loggoreah is very common amongst the e’d-up. / in the grip of a rather strong gorilla
we constructed a fence from Michelin Man’s bones / chunky coincidence / I recall when Lauren Bacall could recall nothing
we adjudge that 90 per cent of our fathers will be gone by the time we have finished the stew / bucolic gabba / having secret affairs with plump women called ‘Deborah’ and or ‘Kathleen’ / big fat man screwing himself onto the side of a building / muff banquet / bag of muffins for the good kids/fair-weather funeral attendee / public barf /I’m not a big fan of organized grief / I like the way Harris talked to me as an equal/perfumed bones / your father told me he was the King of Bones / baby Jesus is asleep in the back of the van / I smeared tomato paste on my sister’s breasts / we stroked the keys gently, as if they were newborn kittens / I smashed my fist into the cucumber and then stuck my penis in the craft fair / dinner, dance and a dust-up / sexist playing the mouth organ / ignored by the student protest group / ignorant kitten (button my shirt)/on the announcement of the end of the world, I un-buttoned my shirt and grabbed the nearest screaming girl /teenage cash hoss / tens tone Jesus / childish teeth / Deborah’s breath (smelt like sweets) / public house candy / bearded Dracula / screaming peanut / pink muskrat – daydream teeth / I took the hand of the screaming French girl /
the milieu of the prison yard made us feel queasy, yet giddy with happiness and delirium / handsome butcher
the day Gary turned into a worm / close your eyes and look at my beautiful lady / corn-fed ghost /beach bones
the graveyard was littered with Christmas cards and umbles / we spent Christmas Day in the butcher’s shop
we just found the mendicant’s missing teeth; so instead of giving him a food hamper we simply handed him his noshers) / propinquity to death marcher(s) / chubby children should be locked up indoors / yes, I will do it..but only if you give me one of those beautiful hand-painted eggs that you keep in your desk drawer / I should never have shaved off your beard, sweet grandma/I flashed my tit at the passing pastor / sometimes I wish my feet smelt slightly nicer/why do people have babies and then insist on dressing them in clothes that are either ill-fitting or the wrong color /my skin feels like it belongs to someone else/ Chinese beards / monochrome tits/Chinese baboon /bell-end of the beast / Terry Wogan taught me to button up my coat properly / fish from the North/my mother is proud to be lesbian/my wife told me that she saw a penis in the gymnasium / my pink fluffy nostrils are turning off my lover/Booker’s secret dream/ Team secret/my nose dreamt of snot and bogies / cuckoo secret/aniseed sheet / aware of the impending death of Hattie Jacques/
I decided to ignore the flagrant whims of Aneeda Sheet and Heidi Drahgzqueeg / they’re known as the German Biscuits
we hunkered down and readied ourselves for the flesh / Sepp Blatter Puss / I want Jesus to love me more
the more we tried to look like we were sleeping the more we actually looked like we were walking around eating peanuts and drinking tea / Chinese hemorrhage (in Pakistan) / Betsey Baguio dumb infant (49)
I took my ‘Floating Bear’ cassette and wrapped it up to give to my uncle as a Christmas gift
no heavy petting in indoor swimming pool (light petting is OK) / urban Jesus / do astronauts have tails?
DNA cowboys (wipe your chops after eating gruel) / urban teeth / suburban teeth / Ethiopian shoe gazer
actually, my son is34 years older than my father / weened off girls / my urbane landlord / joy of the hexx
wipe the shit off your teeth before meeting Queen (- F Mercury) / Patients reggae groups / hungry for the war
I overheard my girlfriend’s father whistling ‘Being a Girl’ by 90s English group ‘Mansun’ / the LP sleeve cover of the new ‘My Bloody Valentine’ LP depicts a lioness being eaten by a much bigger lioness / lioness in my bedsit/
‘The Killer’s' are my 885th favorite English group from the period 1999-2006 / Death by heavy eye 1988-89
on the bus home today I had to tolerate a 44 year old man whistling the entire sophomore LP by English group ‘The Killers’ from start to finish (excluding track 06.. this was aborted as he could not get the tune right)
propitiate the death row inmate by telling him his soul will be freed / freedom hugs
upon entering Hades I requested Charles Manson’s head on a plate and a used copy of ‘Dorian Gray’ by Oscar Wilde / Hade Iraqi shower –like a gift from Beelzebub / clean-shaven women / I love sexy postcards
lover’s breath (strange journey from The Bronx) / early morning hand job interrupted by French camisade / playdough tomb / George Brent and the timeless cannibals / African mathematics / Jezebel got dead/the progressive killer/ my saint just told me he was leaving town tonite/ German in Africa/ I left Africa and imemdiatley wanted to go back / Rotterdame eybrows. / I touched you in the morning/
it’s 3.30 in the morning and we are wiping the snot from our noses in Rotterdam / trenchant poems should be written in blood/ timeless hand jobs / I am the vanguard of the riot squid / a time to reflect on the riots of the past 2 days/I’ve always had a fondness for, what I perceive to be, mechanical culture / difference between a dog and a dead dog / come to the moon..there is no cat shit on the moon / going back to stereo moon/I wish I was a wall / sometimes I see your knee caps and I just want to be your lover/ jungle of teeth
the model Christ (made me weep tears of joy) / sensual hemorrhage / sexy voices – item riot (Italian eyebrows)
put down your ear trumpet and pretend that you can hear the Voodoo Jazz / credit card babies
the happiness of post-hopday horses / relic baby never felt so fuzzy or warm etc. / perfumed statue
zombie with a sexy voice / Frogeye Art – Burt Yvette / I admire my captain’s beard more than yours
I walked up to Christ and asked him, direct to his face, why he spent so long in sandals? / chunky mad men
England is only full of angry ugly little men /you don’t have to be alive to be passionate / debit card baby / baby with no teeth can’t eat his chop properly (would someone mash it up for him) / Dracula has a well sexy voice/ spraying deodorant on a zombie/perfumed bomb / /mattress amnesty / yob on the mattress /outside with you and me/ perfumed umbles / dead peach/dead ogre looking for empty gas canisters / ancient tits/ cheering for the bad guys / hippy eggs / rambling corpse / voice ink / sonic incision / organic nudes / operational fudge/ young oracle /umbrella jazz/murdered umbrella dead music ancient nudes / mother’s umbrella / dancing priest /inside Simon/ sex belly / trumpet onion /naked insects/ crap jackets/ onion for Nancy/ egg sex / market brains / voodoo stew / junk oracle/ king emu/ fuzzy otter /outside tits /
hanging ‘round the carnival entrance with a peach in one hand and a small bronze effigy of a skull in the other
iconolatry is very prevalent in towns where folks have no language /dead eyes of Mud Man
Earth died screaming / I woke up the corpse / his batteries fell out and he toppled over like a dead tree
sausage toy underwear party / we let the monkey drive all the way to Peach Town / why do lesbians always have tattoos? / Grand Mel – melanoma war / 34% fat - valley of the Misfits (Huggy Bear excluded)/ cremated captain /Village of the (dusty) Moustaches / creamed assholes / a newborn humanoid being photographed by a passing tourist
…I would liken it to a delicate, fragile bauble being caressed by a mesmerized Cro-Magnon. / speaking on speed / missing eighth / the sensual engine / crying rats / weeping rat orchestra / orchestral maggots / absinthe gums / ‘I’m here’ she cried as she finally stepped onto the surface of the moon /homosexual numbers / ornery nannies / oblong remains/karate ink /naked gangs at war/ bucket of luck / bones in glue walrus egg emu king episodic nuclear death / smells like eyes / king of filth /asleep at half past three in the morning / make my words sound better, father / king’s eggs /young Pakistani in the city/amazing death / deadly opera/ underground bumph/ cans open for Judah / rancid pillow /sexual energy of a corpse / shed killer / Inside Amarillo m you / take your pants off and go join in, Cecil / my mother always told me to look good in the morning/I traded the Aztec treasures for ten action movie DVDs / video cassettes on the moon/ravonism now / perfumed echo / ancient coconuts / hatless and fantastic / inside my poetry / rat egg /angsty naked girls/ bulldog tits / pregnant peach / dust panther /warming up for the orgy / missing bones/my sister was involved in a plane crash but her only injury was slightly damaged eyebrow / killing your teeth with pop ‘n’ candy / exciting doom / the jazz solo made Mr X cry with joy/ porn rag / energetic sex skinned Indian velvet emu weird operation lovely fingers / nervous pimp / arrive naked/empty vessels / eggs have no rights / gay zebra/ pancake ink/ moppet pump / dead man’s ink/ religious tits /ominous moustache/emu of the east / Broderick was my lover (for a few mins)/
the returning killers were greeted by a triumphant reverie and a banquet of cold meats and ale / devil in the sunrise / modern body
men in zoos who are pondering if they would rather pet the animals or eat ‘em / my Christian sister is a man-eater
hocking your grandmother’s WW2 medals in Egyptian bazaar / F*** on / a vast collection of foreign moustaches
never trust the man with a pudding bowl haircut / men who sit and look out of the window for ‘enjoyment’
he left his trinkets and gewgaws in the rusty old bath tub ./ little felt people that get all itchy before bed time
lugubrious sixth-formers wearing lots of heavy eye make up and moaning about ‘stuff’ / summer with zombie/never trust a man whose shoes are on back-to-front / Siamese Willy/deformed dog walking around town, wearing a mask to hide his unfortunate deformity / I rolled in the mud with the wicked kids/she bruised her bones in the morning / morning boner is de rigueur, Nelson/
ad interim I will stew some peaches for the day labourers / YYY Yes I will go to London and buy some hair /little girl eating an egg / perfumed little egg/have you ever tried on a horse’s shoe / I killed your lover, and I felt zero remorse/
we found the long-haired teen in a rusty bath, eating a hero sandwich (with extra pickle) / the much-lamented death of Joy Horse
have you tried riding a horse with a boner? / I found the forgotten drill instructor sitting in a bedsit eating stewed peaches
it’s funny to think that folks like Homer, Plato and Socrates were actually corporeal flesh and blood men, not just bronze statues.
the small feral boy who only ate mushrooms and tree bark / hideous substances found on moon / cuckoo’s moustache
we found Sweet Colleen in bed with the Blind Cowboys / I get most of my good ideas whilst watching TV at 3.00am
we coalesced over the death of the bunny women / the yellow bone movies. / the woodsman gave me a gift of a cured ballbag
tick off my name, I have no underwear to give you. / Stuart is a good name for a dog / beautiful zombie / Cubist manhood
little man hovering above the space station / deserted lovers bones / scattered in space / when did we start to trust young folks?
page 453 detailed the meeting between Duke Ellington and Daddy Thumb-Sucker/there goes Old Bulb Head (Scouse rashers)
we were handed little cups of blood by the evil priest / most of the under-40s were touched in some way by the Harridan
I think we have listened to the curly-haired men talk about peanut butter art for quite long enough / office truffles / AKA Rocky
maybe it was a bad idea to ruffle the Chinese lad’s hair / penis from heaven / making fun of Dracula was a bad idea
Asian incision / I just got back with Sugar Man / I took my hat off and pretended to be a girl / going to bed with the Übermensch
Popeye has, like most muscle men, a tiny penis / was spinach a metaphor for steroids? / bullied by infant terrorist /I’m rather fond of playing violent video games with my teenage wife / sometimes the salt from your skin tastes way too bitter/toe buffet / 2. harmess killer / sometimes the rain is like acid/the owl gave three hoots upon hearing the news that his uncle had died /blind dog on the mattress / swimming in the ocean with a dead baby / I fished out my old soccer boots and handed them to the Latvian child/Black Eye Orchstar / vulgar fudge/ whispering dog / get ride of that salad..and bring me the meat/ my girlfriend challenged me to find a better pair of tits than hers / I swapped my girlfriwend’s notebook for a can of pineapple chunks / I dfind the Mupepts too vulgar / partif gonzo/my friend wil be late-his helicopter iss tuckin traffic /cash for unwanted goblisn/Jewish eyelids / we tasted a pice of scum which had been scraped off the sidecar/my father si not a dentist / party of none/
keep your nose above sea level, Amos / floating Korean ghosts disturbed our evening / Asian spangles / weird sunrise
I only eat the following victuals: - aubergines / curried lamb and or goat / I’m too fat to be a Sumo Wrestler . / 990 my day off
adorable children floating around the drop-in centre / I walked out of Aberdeen with a cow in my back pocket
tawdry dogs of Iran and Iraq / I dyed my hair before the morning sermon / men with bricks in their hands /the German doctor bit off his thumb nails and spat them out at the passing children / school children on first trip to the moon/
we removed the marble eyeballs and threw the flesh to the old doctors / my mother bought me a nice panther for Xmas present
the farm was ran by a group of babies with combined intellect of a bright man / hospital goblin / promising black out
the flimsiest skeleton in UK / the flimsy skeleton of Doris Cox (OG) / gangsters at the Olympic Games / jazz white-out
America made me itchy / I love to work at the canned ham factory / the man who got his fists muddled up / gravy on my eyes
the furriest man who ever lived / we bonded over a massive vat of onion gravy / was that in ’87, Kid Audrey?
art for death’s sake. / Death smiled as the young lad fetched him some oily fish for his supper / Bi-sexual muzzy
Daddy Flash+ White Audrey in the new movie b Cobb Connors (movie title TBD) / dead anoraks / Bill Murray perfected himself in a kind of transmigration of the soul..but did we prefer him how he was at the start (i.e. grouchy, smug, self-opinionated etc.) / Peter Pan was (is!) on loop / Peter and the lazy dragoon / Leopold Weiss taught me most everything I know
waltzing hillbilly in the corner of my living room / lack of probity among tall women in CA / dead anorak club
‘The Magnetic Fields’ inspired me to indulge in some automatic writing; the first fruits of this endeavour were as follows..'cow pats in the field of my dreams, a sausage a day will keep me feeling hungry. Momma never let the rats boil on the stove by themselves’. / no, this isn’t that, harridan! / death breakfast / Crispin Glover is my aunty / children of the bomb shelter/ German incisor / Teutonic paradise/is it an offensive to close your eyes when shown photos from the 1st hot war/ / riddled with lemons and other yellow vittles / lost in the Land of Fog / roomy coffin / cardboard orchestra / feinant’s day on /
autojournal volume 63:- ‘terrific’ I thought, as the bombs started to fall on the human zoo / gay back-pocket / hats on kids
I just found the missing gorilla in my bike shed / I have a lovely collection of bombs that never went off / fey dogs of Berlin
we couldn’t go and get a burrito as we were ‘snowed in’ / annals of history of fungus manipulation / torn eBay strings
we rounded up the leftover crew from Crow Zero and made Crow Zero II / don’t feed the humanoid / abnormal feet of porno star/I cannot imagine hoe bad it must be to be strung up by your bulla / my hands smell of parachute juice / spastic about town / ok, it is time to faint / queen fo dreams / mumbled somethin’ about ‘going fisihing with Gary’/tooth opera/ stunned by the rrival of King Bisucit/baked Alasakn / I abandoned the Hot Girl and went back to Fat Janice / I am that man you heard about who refuses to eat tomatoes / title of Radiohead’s new cassette is either’Foregin Blsier’ or ‘Take a Piss, Clive Woodward’ /
Suicidal anorak-wearing porn star / horses of porn / the porn horse came to say ‘deleted by Christian tweeter’
Danny Quid never did watch a movie all the way through / ex-Terminator (now shop assistant) / Barry Black’s chubby kids/dirty hands of kid / I am not sexist..i just love women better than men is all / the joy of being a horse / my grandfather’s pens / how to shave like a man /be a man like Werner / bachelor’s breath / I tried to remove the lipstick, but to no avail / men with those concrete shoulders / now we see that Paul panther was right to eat those babies/ kat got a bad fever / Michael and the posh biscuits/I rejected the advances of the very ugly lad (afraid of the horse pit) / tax pit (you know Chris-the guy who resembles an 80s Chrizt) / I like to stay on the fringesof the cool haircut community / briogade of elpers/active teeth / Bud Richa dn the Killed Cats / pack-up jazz / I am very thankful fto you for giving me the chance to hear the formerly uneharable /pink gravy / mothers and fathers switiching sides/ John Jaxc eclared himself ‘Ambassador for the Dead’ / secret blow jobs/Jenny Channel - hmm..that was a good song / fragrant bitches on bus./missed out on my weekly low job / spotted a man in a space suit loking for his kitten/
Billy, I want you to hunker down and look out for Mini Kid / this song reminds me of the time I ate all the pasta / I made a little fence from the unused scarecrow bones / second-hand cassette copy of ‘Janitor’s Finger’ by ‘Headless Corpse’ /
we followed the fat boy’s footprints and discovered he had absconded to the nearest fast food burger outlet / vulgate handjob
I quickly got out of bed when I realised the woman beside me was, in fact, a big bearded man / my mum adores weirdoes
this way to the arse exhibition / daddy got shirt legs / I never reject obscenity / king of the sniffers (I like sniffing corpses)
the astronaut was blind man / even a session of pelmanism did not help him recall his fabled childhood / childhood dandruff
my mum told me that I was born without eyebrows / I were born with a bone between my teeth/ pink dandruff / Gary Park’er detumescen thead / increase the sex, guys / ‘Vulture’s Gash’ vol 01 (feat. Such classics as ‘Gone away with the bird doctor’ and ‘Breedin’ circus freaks ain’t easy (edit)’ / I passed my hand to the disabled doctor’s assistant / I took my ‘New Gods for the Smug’ cassette and placed it on top of the waxwork effigy of Pope Jackie the Jazz Ifant’ / I coloured my own teeth in /
The ruler of FDR Congo had a penchant for practical jokes (his favourite was to put plastic turds on the dining room table at meal times) /buying hamburgers and Coke Zero for my famished children / the sweet bloody buildings cave in + in (YB)
I put my teeth on the mantelpiece and went to bed for an hour or so / my Japanese hands / my African aunty / exit philosophies
I neglected to join the humanistic dating agency / I only date Asian body builders / we decorated the kids with beautiful pelages
the chubby kid cowboy came to us ex nihilo / relax, it’s just a Christian /fluff hunter UK / I live in the UK and I am pretty
I live with smog, it’s who I am. / how could you tell I wasn’t a cowboy / Horseboys ride cows / Christian fluff-hunter
the fashion-conscious witch / hunted by Christian / the day all of the dogs bit their owners / B O diaries / chased by lucky devil
a brief history of snoring in the 15th cent. / we filled the cavity with abandoned vacuum cleaners / panting like a sex addict
I love the smell of caravans in the morning / women who are too fat to get through café doors /Christina in the bath tub / my finger smells of jug juice/my new girlfriend was eleighted to see that my fingers were exrodrianrly chubby / I slid my toes into the gaping wound of the deodorant saleswoman /Goathland contains absolutely no sheep / my breaths tinks of Japanese tourists / the keening lamentation of the prisoner woke me up several times last night / if I had wings I would chop the blasted things off / ‘my toe nails are colour coded’ lied the teenage friend of my youngest daughter / I plan to marry when I’m 50 and have an illicit affair when I am 51 / I dipped my deformed thumb into the sguar bowl and then observed my child’s reasction (it was one of both horror and amusement) / my fingers itch and my stomach feels sore..i might go and tug myself of (why not?? – don’t answer that) /
I got a handful of robots to show off to the Japanese girls / Mickey Mouse side order / disco insects / Sideboard Joe is the?
in no way is it lucky to be chased by the Devil / dump the dumb prophet / Mickey Mouse mosque / mosque eat toe / have you noticed how some chimps have humongous arses? / I buried my head in Tessa’s ample breasts /it’s perfectly acceptable to just sit still and not say anything (just don’t tell the children that) / I keep on phoning myself and pretending that I am someone else /
we knew we were in Australia by the presence of kangaroo bones and tin cups with beer in them / paddling in the blood bath
Carlo, the world’s biggest chimp / terrorist from Devonshire (with a small moustache) / perfumed afros / I am the Billy witch
we noticed that the corpse’s chops were coated in brown sugar / insouciant cowboy feeding some carrots to a derelict hoss
we welcomed the grisette into our psychedelic Winnebago / children’s moustaches / milking cows on the disco floor /Asian miner Asian biscuits / my teeth say yes but my heart says no/ my wife instructed me to put my hands on her sister’s buttocks (she wanted to see if I would become visually aroused by this act) / the creeping dread part 2 / god’s gob (dog’s gob) / we we are The Nanny Goats / why does Future Kid insist on acting so degage?/ I love the way small animals attach themselves to your naked decaying body / graveyard fauna / I sit in teh rgaveyayd and make sketches of all the beautiful zombies /
I can taste the future on your lips (and I can smell the past on your breath) / weirdo from the future / Bobby’s on the mattress
oh so now it’s Corpse Cannibalism, is it? / my fist smells of hamburger meat / lop-sided grin of fashion victim / never say yes
at a Salt Chunk Mary concert I met my latest boyfriend’s parents; which seemed weird. / at work, thinkin’ about meat / I sat in the garden of teeth and stuck my tongue in my cavity for a bit / I like the way your figners twitch when you are givi9ng me a blow job / I kept asking myself ‘why does your finger smell of lemon?’..i never received an answer / how dare you accuse me of not liking opera music / my breath stinks of ordure, Phillip/
tropical yobs / I fell an urgent desire to comb my moustaches / living inside a gorilla’s ball bag / horse-drawn diagram
fall out of love with lion / maybe I am wearing lipstick / Cave baby is bound to freak most everyone out
pech breathing indicated he may have been running away from his wife / gorilla’s wife
a list of British anomalous deaths from 2010-2020 / curried Albion / bird brain bath bird bath / ha ha festival
bathetic prose of the slum-dog septuagenarian
in now way am I culpable for the death of hope and reason / Siamese theatre tickets / chin waggers symposium 2010
the keyboard thief / every time the eagle stops eating / the future of happy police state / woke up on the back of the meat wagon
we saved up enough to buy Chinese eggs for the whole family / the golden yrs are making a come-back
expurgate the baby poem / some people think Elvis was an astronaut / lesbian bike rode / peccable children in the cage
I ain’t got the requisite number of nostrils to be part of acceptable society / modern people are thick / robust camels
twisted mouths of the nearly-dead (sad in country) / the tremendous face of zombie / chicken dinner made us ready 4 War
wedding night blues (look what I done gone with my sweet freedom) / women are so shallow on the inside / woken up by the sound of a teenager being sucked into a different time zone / I heard about you Krull..i need more evegtables /children like to see your multi-coloured bones / I took your hand and fed it to the donkey/
I was reminded of the twisted maw of Elvis Aaron Presley / the lack of sex drive in an octogenarian
John Terence Manlike Race Hamburger / pumped-up for xmas dinner / afraid of jazz / dogs of jazz / cat’s moustache
one day we will allow our children to meet up with the humanoid kids / purple-painted jazz eye / harmless ghost
maybe I should avoid eye contact on the gay disco floor / sticking your tongue out when passing rabbis / smoking cack
TFMH – it’s so profound I have to put into an acronym (time baby ) / I was not a selfish American before I came to England
doing nothing with the fathers of modern summer / I just ticked off Madonna’s children / alone in some salt
the pyramid floated up into orbit and all of the little kids fell about laughing / this film has a slightly Asian bent to it
man wearing a duffel coat in Egyptian summer sun /bolted yourself in the cushy room. / dead people called ‘Eric’
if our toes itch, maybe we should take off our socks? / newborn baby in a wheelbarrow / plastic tit / Saliva Row
have you noticed that dogs don’t like jazz / occult pensioner / people who use computers tend to be stupid / public duet jape
doing nothing with the father of modern summer / plastic kids make me nervous / the third policeman was my favourite/ video of dead astronaut was 67th most popular on the You Tube web site / nice face, but take a look at her gypsy hands / my fingers smell of manure, dad/Mexican child birth / she slipped off her silk peignoir, to reveal the body of a murder suspect
he wrapped his tits in cling-film to keep them fresh ‘till morning / he kept all of his titflesh wrapped up in the back room
it might be a good idea to lend your hairy jazz records to the father of modern jazz / gorilla in the mirror
being given elocution lessons by a mendicant / the cat that thought it was a lion / the boy with rubber tonsils / classic vaticide
I ain’t got the key and I most definitely don’t have time to kick the door down / at 43 he became addicted to Filthy Jazz
I am the girl you found in the abandoned canoe / building atrabilious melodies in the deformed picnic clinic / deformed potato
she has an apathetic attitude towards Cush Drubs / men’s breath / that plastic kid that you keep locked in your boot
If I stretch out my thoroughly ugly toes, maybe my best friend’s girlfriend will stop thinking about me in ‘that way’
time for silent society to speak up / newborn dogs of Salt Lick City / goes to show you can make love with closed eyes
cuckoo inside some Italian flat bread /is my sexual persuasion to your taste? / the sweet rodents of Death Town
taking down the names of the under-age smokers / 10 ways to spot a humanoid / 10 ways to spot a humanoid
my daughter made friends with the hangman’s children / agoraphobic man in post-apocalyptic wide-open space
parrhesia in the school room / god’s gift to Deadhead Miles / theism makes my feet itch in the morning / Lenny Henry (the garden centre manager, not the comedian) introduced me to the slag that I ended up marrying / I do love you, but your breath smells of heroin / my saggy tits need firming up, Mr. / I love to kneed saggy breasts before breakfast / the one fingered salute told us the Nostril Priest had arrived / jazz for dead owl / igloo ghosts / we polished off the whisky and moved onto the jazz juice (home-brewed, no less)/dog on the carpet / I shan’t reveal myself today mother, I promise /
I just heard a short story about an African princess (who is beautiful) falling into a pit of snakes / lipstick on a snake
we have an exclusive interview with a man who has been falling down a bottomless pit for 16 ½ years./we wrapped up the lost teeth in cotton wool and placed them in the bottom drawer / I drew you a picture of a goat being slaughtered by a teenage Asian lad/
Cubes of hope / we made a delicious tracklement out of the brains of the New Yorkers / low cat / I knew America was my pal
Paroxysm sufferers on the 7.15 / what colour is cold ? / freed from a lifetime of finger puppetry / anthrax on the sideboard /butterfly milk / you will remember when I said ‘ahh ahh yeah it’s 1993’ / jar o’ anthrax / the friendly intrusion
oh the acid bubble / Bubba in the caboose/ I like to look at your face whilst eating my chop / tank top-wearing ghosts are funny/blind helicopter/ I prefer women with three lips/I heard a rumour that Sally Jessie Raphael had been killed by a freak (accidentally) / sugar-coated frontal lobe/too energetic for the graver / lady love gravy/tight fist full of teeth / my uncle’s hairy teeth tuned the girls away/ways to enjoy the jungle / jungle pussy/ignore the peanut code / today we skin rabbis/
Seditious acts of ostracised gods / men who take their moustaches really seriously / gay fur costume / the modern love magnet
I just met my first lesbian in Marks and Spencer’s / the lesbian was collated in fur / sweet way of making love to nobody
Skank Head Jackson just gave me his woman (old lady) to look after / just (itch) / you gotta scratch that itch, Sweet Dog Soldier
‘ what we got from warehouse clearance sale (part 01)’ – a small velvet bag once used by Gandhi, a stethoscope covered in rust, a German dictionary with 30% of the pages missing and a stuffed owl was owned by Rolf Harris (the Australian poet and raconteur, not the sketch artist of the same name) / don’t windmills look bloody stupid / Irish smile with eyes on you!! / I just finsished a drawing of Shabba Rnks petting a dead kitten / Alabtross on the deformed motorway / I found her dead on the abandioned motorway / her knucles were whiter than a ghost’s face / I wore my best cardigan to the moon / we landed on the moon and promptly shat our pants (I think it was ue to the excitement)/minty butetrfl;y. Gary, emet your new boyfirned (his name is Ian)/I always eleep with my tiots facing upwards / farlic makes your feet smell nice /
three things I observed when walking around NYC on drugs:- a small rodent wearing a top hat, being chased around the streets by an angry-looking man waving a cudgel; the photographer Man Ray being sexually abused by an English soux chef; Gay rights protesters drawing ink moustaches onto heterosexuals / top clap clap happy rat pasta and sauce. / billion dollar breath
it was the sweetest September since records began (with ‘Ancient Jazz Microphone’) / jazz in the water (with buffalo)
posh gay people wearing designer tank tops / we breathed new life into mainstream Bad Art / the abstract bones
perfumed wind / my Norwegian sister told me that she once thought she saw the Kraken, but she possibly didn’t
just because there’s no meat on the bones, doesn’t mean you don’t have to pay for ‘em / why are people silly, mama?
a misologist is usually unhappy in the school house / primitive haircuts of the démodé hangers-on / baby fry-up
there is all of this stuff going on whilst I sit here and wipe the sweat off of my jazz records / pumping new life into bad art
we were forced to abandon the needlecraft when confronted by a list of more pressing tasks (i.e. ‘ give the baby some bread and milk’) / oh look; it’s another white man / gorilla in the armed forces / Doctor in the tree. / agency of the damned
trahison des clercs was committed by my once-loved uncle Samira Gerome / agency of the doomed and damned (yet happy)
I fell in love with the one got all the teeth out of The Thin Lizzy / there are plenty of gorillas in New York City
the lawn was littered with discarded Greek toe nails / incurably vibrant men discard their pyjama bottoms / ja time
everything my new boyfriend does is an attempt to defy conventional wisdom / flagged-up the gorilla
why are spacesuits always white (is NASA racist?) / white people look good in black space suits / fainéant in the drop-in centre
African astronauts dancing in the shuttle disco chamber / the mesmerised man / Elizabethan hit squad / reliquiae of Dog Francis
jactate a banana into the air on xmas day in tropical country / the Leftover Men/ eyeball child cry August 7
they tested his reflex skills by chucking duck bones at him / the garage where we hid the trophies
the day the teddy boy really lost it / teddy booty
how did you know this was Dusty Rhodes? ‘the yellow spots were an indicia’ / misoneism is quite common amongst the elderly
otherwise we will have to shave before sundown / I kissed the blistered feet of JC / is Karl Marx on facebook?
humming on the way home from the humming contest / there are too many owls on TV / broke cambist
blushing like an astronaut caught wanking on the space shuttle / yes NASA control tower peril hope have a buzz on me
waiting for my girlfriend to get home from her illicit love affair with my friend Ian / I am child of shadow (Chad, oh!!)
we stockpiled the bones of our enemy and displayed them proudly in the garden / balls out for the queen
everything my new girlfriend does flies in the face of convention / the nystagmus sufferer knocked my pint over
exiguous men being picked on by big ol’ lesbians / the fall of the superman / romantic poet made me blush / 2 grandad scroll
beautiful as the chance meeting on a dissecting table of a sewing machine and an umbrella / massive junior
we wiped the AO from our chins and carried on chatting up the flirting Jane / curried umbrella (ghost step)
my dad was the king of the local fast food scene / we twist off bird’s heads and throw them in the ocean / fashionable flu /carrying a puppy around the graveyard to try and attract the attentions of mourning women / single girls fall from trees
Halle Belly does not eat cakes / Halle Berry does not eat fish / sagacious young child being taught by an ageing owl
torpedo smudge / antique backdraft / we stopped the last gang from killing the ‘LL ester Eastern Pussy’. / Prehistoric pussy
I think vinegar fingers have been stroking my kitten again / let ‘em eat pussy / you got some kind of jelly on your eyelids
I shut my eyes to intercourse footage / we uncovered footage of Harvey Milk drawing ink moustaches onto famous paintings
We littered the town centre with burger wrappers / my square-shaped head fits nicely into your suitcase / cottage pie whore
we tempted the scarecrow down from the tree with a nice jam sandwich / every hotel room stank of peanut butter and mush
I got children on my shoulders / everybody floats when they take the time to contemplate the stars / green moustaches in 1880s
nothing you say is worth writing on the chalk boards / 05.04.1997 – bored of drum wars – keep your memory, you will need it
I presented my septuagenarian father with a print of ‘Cut with the Dada Kitchen Knife through the Last Weimar Beer-Belly Cultural Epoch in German’.. he was not amused! / I don’t even think about what you are saying when I hear you talk
we attempted to teach the Spanish owls how to catch GB mice / apnoea sufferers should sit on the front seat of the bus
the man who lived his life as if he were a kitchen knife / sex on a chopping board / give the dog room to chase his tail
figure 8 reminds me of your beautifully ample wife / who made you king of the heterosexuals? / let them eat puppets
Barking bloke don’t know what she should be / TV turns to sludge
my mother rejected my new boyfriend on the grounds of his ambivalent attitude towards god
the man who ate his own future (maybe he thought he wasn’t god) / smoking out Moses / the man who spiralled out of control before he had the chance to eat a breakfast / stuck inside a godless world / life without the commercial children
like a blonde Yosemite Sam grown to an average height / been did by lesbian /squash your buttons
maybe I will grow a beard before St Wiener Day / I need room to bathe away my sins (esp. crepuscule sins)
does Mickey Mouser have a willy? / there was no room for furniture because of the humongous elephant carcass
sitting around listening to the dull anecdotes of the ageing homosexuals / brows held high / look at Donald Duck’s face
Death makes a fist / 60-odd Chinese teenagers being shown around the abattoir where I work / all of my friends are hob-goblins / monster slash beast residing in the back bedroom / Christmas stirrup / the study if a goblin’s knob / Delivering catharsis from the drug-hazy ether / what name should we give to the humanoid?/the somewhat disturbing auditory experience of being shouted at by a spirit /what the hells a bush?/ I want to enjoy the freedom to slap people in the head / shave me tonight, baby
do you still class yourself King of the Homosexuals? / the mizzle kids will not be given chicken or beer / I dabbed the zombie’s brow with a wet cloth and then went and sold some stuff on E Bay / Moroccan tusks / Channel 5 presenters talk in pig English
from the view point of the kremlin, the babushka looked fairly young / everyone needs a hug before entering death row
Pie eye on death row / trailer park memories of discarded raincoats / modern goblin / dreaming of abandoned raincoats
we relaxed with a glass of octopus milk and a bag of sparrow claws / not all German men are ‘normal’ /moon bucket baby / Jeremy Wilson and the devil smoking crack and whistling at gals / antidemon / Nick Cave resembles some kind of worm / throttles corpse / heal the corpse/ we stole the shoes from the dead bachelor
spooky perfume 4 pervert / the perverted face of landscape gardener / the King of Pleasure is NOT the Antichrist
..and we entered the pleasure tunnel / the vox of god / the porky doctor / yeah but what if his nose never stops bleeding?
Sarah and Leone made excellent superwaifs / warzone intercourse / of course I want to kiss your father..don't be silly!
all my friends are golden-hearted idiots / I made notes of what to do if being chased by werewolf / with the Ambulance King
they travelled many miles to come and see the blue gorilla / ancient children discovered before dinner-time / jazz tarmac
damp slabs / trying to avoid the men who have visibly got Christian whiskers / never tackle a tree surgeon before breakfast
I hate Mickey Mouse since he was nasty to Minnie / Queen Quiver / we decided to lock up the ancient children ‘till Xmas
cancel your life and come over to the other side / I fought for your life, and you rewarded me with a slap to the face / pink wrist
I might try to persuade you to shave me off / I will not reveal my milk arms / jungle finger-nails / stinging sex / nautical ‘tache
no need to clean your teeth today, Morris / my dream wooden automobile (which was carved out of a tree) / resume of the gods
I can smell the future on your breath / I will use your hands to help me shave off my beard (we grew turkey burgers for the kids)
I managed to vault over the baby horse / tree house dreamers / the darkest moustache I ever saw / honourable discord
do you still call yourself the Duke of Juju Town?? / relaxing at home with a jug of cowboy milk
Whispering sweet poetry into the Caribbean baby’s ear / discarded nostrils in rough street / hot 1880s (jazz biscuit)
happy dead man / Antidemocrat fem on vox / the leftover sausage acted as a useful bung / Roland Rat was a retard
single men always let me down / let’s get a more suitable hobby, Kyle / suitable hobbies for homosexual gentlemen
annoyed by summer sunshine (I am morbid and shit) / zombie on the carousel / apnoea-suffering girls turn me on
Terry Bolea taught me how to look good even though I was thin and pathetic / his cowboy hat was coated in blood
the zombie was quite shocked when he caught his reflection in the mirror / sanguine hands of killa / alphabet rap
‘things we saved from the fire (part two)’ – a stuffed gorilla, a newspaper from my name day and a bag of children’s chalk
I require that all of my girlfriend familiarise themselves with the work of Hans Arp / Elizabethan cattle drum
modern slob playing X Box games all through the day whilst his family work hard in the plantation fields / grim drummer
they ruined the song with bike hooter noises / completely insensate matchstick men / modern slumdog
supermodel in a mammock (they left a jar of apples on the moon) / side order of sin
we sent a video tape of the grown up dogs to the elder statesman / sinister vinegar
plums remind me of mountains / I always get emotional when I see plums and bananas together in a fruit bowl
cowboy in a cobweb / the legendary deceased huntsman / maybe he should have removed his collar before getting in the bath tub
fruity super bowl / we dug a ditch and buried all of the Salt Chunk Mary cassettes (and Bull Onion poetry)
I spent several hours playing draughts with the boy with no armpits /tiny cowboy in a massive glass of milk
ifell aslpee in a t shirt and woke up in a jumper (Life wit rprim sche). / itchy Roamian beard / scratch the atlas
he ended up approximately in the mdileo f the desert with notginb ut a bag of potatoes / the Rolls Royce of broken bicycles
I long to be back in 1880-1891 / Mohammed Zart and the dead piano pickers / demurring from word of god (WOG)
We were encouraged to try and bond with the humanoid machines / bandit’s moustache / temporary Rodger
there aren’t any people called Phillip in Africa / African chutney (loaded on) / bathing with the screwdriver / taken ghosts
some cowboys can’t write poetry / the demure hangman / the broken bones of Sludgepipe Peter / boneyard baby
big chubby African children being shown around the White House / 60 dreams in one minute / homosexual’s moustache
we applied a Stakhanovism system to the shell-fish factory / Kathy Jacobs was pooh-bah’s very favourite secretary
I was brought up to always wash my hands before handling body parts / Please keep your gums on display / diamond haircut
my friend claims his father was one of the Argonauts / Cyclops dreaming of working for the civil service / beautiful erection
a beautiful depiction of Ecce Homo in a children’s colouring book / zombies called David / belly hose / shiny erection
dead horse in the graveyard / vegan fire engine / butcher shop hotline / prelude to a broken arm / jazz for astronauts / a beautiful depiction of King Kong slaughtering Mecca-god / is Iran still a good place to visit for a vacation? / what screws you up most:- seeing a yeti in your back garden or getting shot in the leg by a shotgun-wielding grizzly bear / 41 degrees at 3.44 am
backwoods beauty / I have some rare footage of King Kong being punched out by a heavyweight champ / incendiary pockets
onset of goose flesh indicated that the priest was getting nervous / it’s very rare to find a sensible peacock these days
what should I do if you happen to see UFO? / Belinda is a ghost / my girlfriend’s fruit bowl has cracked / grade 6 eyebrows
king of the gurners is residing down the well for the duration of the tournament / dusty old knuckles / late run of zombies
dead chimp in the evening sun / he dropped his trousers and blew his nose 3 times / significant tits / computerised erections
the man who grows snakes in the back of his car / I’ve got perfume on my thumbs / zombies in the gas chamber / coconut spook
the latest gambit was to hide the lads behind the big green bush ‘till midnight / coconut-scented spook / we carpeted the moon
why did God make animals so pretty, when all I really want to do is shoot ‘em / Jerry , you are under the sun or moon
Tinky Winky’s Egyptian slide-show / Dead man on live TV / junk apparatus / Joe’s mindless eyeballs / babes at the terminus
breakfast with the jazz enthusiast (none meaty) / none the more meaty (jazz shoulder blades) / Scottish yardie / Angolan sweater / taking a look at Keith’s nw teeth/the shuttle penis/there is so little that you know about dead people’s dreams / people who use ‘Facebook’ are not human/the man who grew a head before growing a neck /April jazz fist – meat free oprgy/bring me my colorued pencils (I love needle pie) / Needle Pie island will never die/the mind is a dirty and wonderful organ (a small boy holding two fingers in the air..these fingers have red and blue paint dripping off them/ going back to what I said to you when giving you head.. / Grounedhog jacksona dn the Forgotten Ideas / a king removed his mask to reveal the face of a child/Hi jack nance (hijack nance) / five-0finegred ghost/loosened my grip on the newborn turtle / sometimes the paint drips onto the bathing beauties/sister’s eyeball / cloud bastard /
I popped some leftover nan bread in the harvest festival box / dead ghost (I harangue people for their Bull Onion Poetry)
a box full of festive paper moustaches / you look like 142 80s tanned TV host(s) / gangland poets dreaming in the future
we constructed a memorial to the arts teacher out of sued pencils and old pieces of charcoal / baby leper / toilet training a zombie
the sound of feu de joie reminds me of my idyllic childhood in Buenos Aries / do ghosts have nostrils? / Greek traffic
got too kinky even for you / Trevor’s pink girlfriend / ideological breakfast / my new see-thru fur coat impressed all the girls
my dad’s hobbledehoy assistant / lesbian zombie / kicked out of Fat School / secret hairstyle / Bluto was gay was?
a cabbage resting on the edge of a diving board in a Parisian swimming pool / I melted some cheddar over my girlfriend’s fur
the very cold hands of Dead Ian / drifting alone down a filthy old canal / forgetting which way round your head is
I dream of feet / his supper was covered in cobwebs and fake blood / engineered my Dream Baby / we breed princes
the last request of the day was'jam sandwich + offal’ / Batman is not a real bat, man / dreaming of orchestra lad by baby boy
we knew you was Dracula cos of your sanguine breath / the call girl was coated in scholar’s dandruff / spooky kids love money
peeking at the ageing students / Saturday pansy / junior waltz 1988-89 / damp lips of lover / onion flavour poem
what would Elizabethan chimps look like? / champion astronaut of 1889-90 / gentleman’s harvest / gay life of TT Ibis
my life began with the first performance of ‘The Breasts of Tiresias’ / amnesia sufferers often end up in hole
trying to imagine what my boyfriend would look like if he was over the age of 16 / lesbian land-fill / I smoke before sex
we fought hard to bring about the end of Anonymous Society / the cultured zombies / the modern bitch / sinister pansy
we tried to get the fainéant kicked out of the ‘let’s do it’ club / Cookie the bear cub is my new best pal / curly gown
insipid recollections of the crab Arab (hug an Arab a day) / the pelagic men showed me the way to ancient ship wreck
I now live in an Egyptian fire engine with my 2 kids (mauve boy and green girl) / I am 90 swimming pool ponce
boys with two eyes / planet covered in some kind of noxious ooze / bum future (Persian garage)/ sofa bed bitches
the reptant fear is back again (at 3.17am) / all those trolls on face Book making love to me / kinky rash / future cobwebs
we overheard a colloquy between the jester and his father / a big bag of plastic nipples / the frozen face of Ice Man
every time I think of you, an egg appears on the front room table / blue 80s kinky rash –FP / sundry moustache
we used the vicious discharge as a tracklement for our supper / I only shoot ugly beasts like Mungo-Apes etc. / mauled Paul
what’s wrong with owl sandwiches..i was brought up on them / a life of looking into other people’s eyes / bearded baby
snacking on other people’s suppers / the man who only wore see-thru shirts / this sugar shirt dos not fit does not
we were impressed + amused by the regal deportment of paper-crown wearing mendicant /paid in gravy / Stonehenge dogging club / lesbian’s whiskers /what do loose horse represent to you? / a farewell to Christ/
tugged off in Beijing / forgotten sideburns of the 18th cent. / up + dancing with cardboard feet.
Astronaut dandruff / the bed time story did not amuse me, mother / impressions in the face of the relic / baby on the sideboard
my love for you is on a similar level to a Jap’s love of Godzilla / King Kong had a small winky / I never saw a wahle bone io didn’t want to wrap in foil and take home to mammy / summer time deaths quad/twin sideburns
there is no such thing as an honest chapman / the blue tonsils indicated it was humanoid / pastured old (sexy hand puppet)
I met my new girlfriend at an Iranian social club / let’s get low down with the Danish men / Bobby Felt and the Cuban Dreamers
balloon animals floating around the graveyard / I took a flask of gin for the long walk to graveyard / pessimistic corpse
Joe’s liquid bones / the small fury man who lives on top of the nearby monticule / eat your fish, man. / mesmerised by tin clown
the Age of Confusion was greeted by a mixture of cheers and groans / a farrago of children with an assortment of haircuts
Turkish laughter permeates my mind tonight / the French child was happy riding on his dada / birds in the coffin / modern wolf
we found a sack of chimps on the master’s doorstep / my modus operandi is to strip naked and cover myself in screech
I know we’re not supposed to love other men / jazz thumb prints (JOxP sniff) / I situated myself adjacent to the elephant trunk
he opened the basket to reveal a 5 moth old foumart, which he hoped his 4 month old daughter would really like
feeding luncheon meat to ex-glamorous children / my ex wife’s kids are staring into space (which thy refer to as ‘home’)
I opened the magazine and discovered that the content was not to my liking / modern muppets / PE kit turned me on
it’s a bit too cloudy to be flying aeroplanes today, Baba / African pilot eating a sausage sandwich / twisted puff
I didn’t need to water-down the moonshine.. the baby men were hardened drinkers / Rasta rasta!! / ‘the daily lament’
why do drum ‘n’ bass DJs always have dirty fingers? / I might attempt to make the Lizard Kid stop smoking pipes
urbane morality / egg-filled gossip column / I will never cease to believe in Scratch / Humanoid Scab Café Orchestra
the wonderful plastic Earth / I hate people who are crusty 24/7 / imaginary jungle / entry-level weirdo / Joe Joe’s pulse
cuddling corpses (on TV) / dancing with Malcolm (in the Lion’s Lounge) / being gay is not a lifestyle option, George
roaring like Leroy did that one Sunday when he got well angry. / a small infant holding aloft a slightly-rotten peach
gay werewolf / welcome to the pooch pad / a big bowl of steaming manure / lock a boy up / craving for a beating
whistling at the gorgeous broad / exsanguinate the corpse before feeding it to lion(s)
chicken pat orchestra / repugn authority (‘till they put you in the shackles) – GG / TV colostomy / Daddy Loose-Step
this ain’t no world for the little / sexy depression / depression is a big turn on (so said that little black-haired girl from TV)
ornery kids on the ghost train (showing off in front of their girlfriends) / bachelor’s kitchen / inside the head of Wolf Boy
underground gravy ./ mesmerised by broke TV / modern diablerie scrapbook / girl with a horse egg in her pocket
I’m spending more and more time watching chubby girls play tennis / this modern donkey girl / that new curly feeling
I sharpened my teeth in preparation for the impending war of the beasts / this is funky warzone
I feel uncomfortable in the presence of girls who carry razors in their pockets / dunked like a pseudo witch
he tried everything he could think of to try and make the ape love him / he kept on drooling on my forehead / girls sweat in bed
put your scabbard back on and come and have a bloody cup of tea, Neil / he gets so hot in bed / man meets superman
his pockets where full of mouse droppings / sniffing keyboards in computer showrooms / deserted by my prime mate
we were preceded by a precession of gilded horses and men dressed like space-apes / alone with the blondes / bearded bone
sitting at the back of the sofa with Sweeney, greased lover of antipodean rocker. / do you formulate ideas just for fun?
Jammy King said this hospital cheese was fairly good / kids were damaged by exposure to The Jacob Twins
Ghost in my tent (ruined camping trip) / is it - insouciant butcher..happily chopping penis’ off of beasts
the elephants the students are the elephants – the student is the elephant in the room / I fell asleep on Beth Ditto’s breasts
Ron Cherry survived by hanging his coat out of the window / attacked by the wonderful wolf / anaorak tits
I took my new girlfriend to the graveyard for our first date / deputising for Daddy Fresh / comb your hair before execution
dad found a chicken’s ear in his Caesar Salad / slap-happy granddads / New York kitten / coma kittens
B Boys spinning in the graveyard / the death of Lobster Boy wiped the smile off of our faces / gorilla in loose-fitting pants
Stud Terkel goes to eat his day job (c. my six yr old cousin) / I ain’t no American, but I know fast food
I awoke to find a pug dog floating above my bed / maybe Kurt didn’t die..maybe he changed his name to Carl and became a bug
I tied a rag around my hand and ran down the street / you need to have a ticket to view my beard / ITV dinner
the frightened ghosts
the man in the corner emitted a kind of sibilant sound which disturbed all the nearby children / ..with ghosts in their pockets
bleeding freak medicine show / is this just a random selection of psychedelic phrases?..no, it isn’t / puff the magic sailor
St Sebastian is addicted to happy hardcore music / miserable hardcore / the day I arrived in your mouth / Dakota freak medicine
I unlocked the milkman’s secret / Jap made it cool / I found a secret note in my milk bottle / hairy gravy / I perfumed my balls
getting high before breakfast / I really admire those men in movies that smoke a joint when they wake up / flock of corpses
Tiny Tales Part 02 – I took lunch with a lesbian and a man dressed up as a chimpanzee in FDR Congo / vegan zombies
hot pervert / Ethiopian wimp / armchairs of Mars / list entry without a title / enlightened by midday succour from priest
Victor or the Children Take Over / harmless death / repose of intercourse was a relief. Quite frankly
the elephants ignore the students and the students pretend not to notice the kinky MILF tutor / MILF in my bedroom
Missing Ill Love Fraction / curled up at the edges like an Indian’s nails / breakfast in bath (BIB)
we slept amongst the disiecta membra of the fallen superstars / Binky’s Junket / Joan Shape and the BB Skeletons
I gave my copy of ‘Tempest’ to the starving dude / memories of African junket / randy coughing mendicant
1. what do you do if you spill beetroot on your corduroy trousers? / spungy faced old puff
the gastarbeiter spoke a language I was unfamiliar with, although it did include the following English words:- ‘truck’, ‘pipes’ and ‘dog’. / god let me see this tropical helicopter / vulture on the sideboard / I got trapped in the zoo and the chimps adopted me as one of their own / dog circles (I looked through the window and saw Christ Himself)
Ethnocentric thug wondering aloud why Indians don’t eat fry-ups / his brain made of candy/the firstthing the returning spaceman did was get himself a haircut / jobes aimed at dying forest/
and then he appeared to slice off his thumbs with a kitchen knife / the sook rejected his pseudo mother and joined the local circus
they installed a jukebox in Slaughter House 6 / relics of Armageddon on e-bay / Daft Punk cassette floating in the blood-red sea
the TV did not cheer Doctor Manhattan up / men walking around the mall carrying plastic babies / hospital clown
Animal Mother and O-Dog would have been great pals / my chubby anorak don’t fit no more / crying adults on steam trains
beautiful blue eyes of monster / I only dine with Arabic gentlemen these days, mum / mum is in the attic, dad
I left Tilda floating in the bath whilst I rubbed shaving oil into my face / keening over dead astronaut
Puff the magic medicine man was killing himself slowly to the Smith Smith sound / the midnight acrobat / blind channels
weld metal albatross back together – I prefer Korean dandruff / view from the poo hut / banquet of dreams
waxwork haemorrhage / refulgent erection / I prefer chimps to men / my tacky boyfriend/ egg on my shoulders / black shoulders
I heard a rumour that Martians dream in black and white / TV moose on TV / are you sure you know what a TV is?
the curious eyes of the men of the deep-sea / deep-sea toe job / wizard of porn show / sexy little heatwave / cardboard curtains
the moon tastes of cheese but it stinks of popcorn /my see-thru face / untold Tuesdays / I had one too many limp bananas
I treasure my animal skull collection / standing behind a lady with a massive beehive hairstyle / sexy mantra / the despot insisted that every single woman wear their hair in the ‘beehive’ style / jazz mantra (flick book pages 4-6)
in 1987 I became addicted to cowboy poetry / I only live for the Chairs / secret matrix of devilment / keep on bleeping
gurning man with an object in his ear / dead-end feature / chicken features can’t get laid / December bones (Irish Rent)
men who think that it is OK to bite the heads off chickens should be banned from the music industry
succour punch made you realise the time for pacifism was over / daily wizard / France is a bad place for Francophiles
only a girl like you would be jealous of a cartoon (TINE) / smacked in your aquiline face / giraffe in the gasthof
we filled the cavity with burned-out cassette cases / astronaut in Paris / too gay for Bush Shelter crew / backwards Arab
the cop tried to break up the noisy shivoo but was placated by a plate of bar-b-q pork and a side salad coated in mayo
phony orphan / he broke away from the Curly Little Awkward Weasel / X ray Monday / X Marks Monday
are you prepared to sell your soul for a small bag of frog’s eyelids? / Although he protested that he liked pork barbecue much better, he owned up to eating caviar at Maxim's in Paris and even to visiting the Louvre Museum. / you ride a bike like a girl
why are humanoids always depicted with their hands in their coverall pockets? / most of it is from my belly paws
Malcolm’s hairy chops / we were ugly babies but we grew up to be beautiful
my dad left half a giraffe in the fridge / front lawn sex / supine claws of new world beast / teen captain / the farouche werewolf
do you ever feel that you might belong to a different species? / I dipped my toes in the gravy / set KO eyeballs on fire
modern fart / collectanea contained poems by such luminaries of the written word as Jo Jo Peacock and Mush Arab
Adolph’s Lung Drum (is this the tiniest man who ever set foot on ‘our’ planet)
the surface of the moon is littered with ancient car parts / the mother finally admitted that her first born was incredibly ugly / I threw my baby into the hole which had been dug for the purpose of disposing of the unwanted Robbie Williams cassettes
so check behind mom’s ancient speakers (you might find your bible there) /the surface of Mars is littered with abandoned white goods / brown insides (insider sex)
my wife has gone off and joined MAVO (JA) and, to tell you the truth, I’m pretty happy about it / knock-out chimps
Ethiopian clergyman in Yugoslavia (are you ready to sell your soul for a measly dinner of lamb cutlets in onion gravy?)
it’s hard to find your mother when someone switches the fairy lights off / Max by the grave (of his murdered comrade)
I put on my trousers and urinated myself / the queen’s favourite son was always Felix / the man with the vegan’s face
nursery rhymes written backwards upset the kiddies / piccanniny poetry club / I never left kids stranded without their bean bags
whatever happened to the plastic animals you kept beside your bed? / application for a brittle promise / the devil got too skinny
I spent most of the weekend pretending to be a vegetarian / David Bowie has too many ideas on one side of his head
I loped off the parking attendant’s head with my sister’s hunting knife / the view from Uncle Bulgaria’s office
why do people only eat pickled onions at Xmas / Magic Roundabout was full of illegal drugs / eyeing up the fit birds from afar
refractory actions of a bad public schoolboy cost us all our ticket to imaginary freedom / dead-eyes of sapient scholar
a moon baby like no other / zombie scraps / you are that Indian child I once played squash with / Barbie’s fake eye
I traded Pink’s autograph for a big bag of chocolate-coated mushrooms / girls from Lidls / having sex with a joyless pig farmer
The Sick Insects new LP was tentatively titled ‘Bulgarian Shopping Channel Jazz’ / went to bed with farting gorilla / ‘Damp Secret Records’ release schedule for July 2015:- ‘African cops in my bedsit’ by ‘Felix and the Fox Hunters’.; ‘Diamond Pipes’ by ‘Dog Rancid and the Cup Holders’; ‘Burnt by Joy’ by ‘Sunshine in Wigan’; ‘Fear of Dying’ by ‘Prince Phil and The Carnival Kiss’; ‘Jazz Astronaut is not dead (yet)’ by ‘Kings of Dirt’ / the priest struggled to deliver his sermon as he had a mouthful of candy ebans / Macy Gray’s deleterious potions / makeshift nsoejbo in Algerian hiospital / ‘Children of the Devil’ was a rather clichéd choice for an LP title / morbid finger puppets / box of assorted memories.. $9.00 each / mixed up my suitcase with someone elses (which contained a monkey skull and some elephant bones) / Creoloe homecoming / boy with the paper bones
islanders always have coconut breath / chimney baby (the baby who lived in a chimney) / vinegar brunette / life without Japan
I would like to introduce you to my Caribbean daughter / I only see girls in motion films / death of Blind Bill was my mea culpa
The The cassettes floating in the midnight sky / I wrapped my face in newspaper / I coated my face in swamp dust
coleslaw on your eyeballs / damp collars of sweating preacher / j:- gulag junk / Samuel is peeping at my toes again / sock puppet covered in holes / my inauthentic baby / I have a gift for you- it is a punch from a sex model / here is something I witnessed this morning…a polar bear smoking a cigarette / bonus hand job (FOC) / days out with the zombie and co / some savage tears were cried the night they hanged Phil Marcini / purple bulldozer (?) / kissed a twat’s lips / bungo maahrat Marlboro teeth / forgotten crackers (Woodstock) / ..when I was a sap. / hanging with Kid Cobra and the Sibilant Lads of Hiss Town / toad jelly/ porcine arrest / 1. janitor’s eyebrows / a clean fresh start for the killer / 7 o’ clock dummies/I gave my son a vile computer game / playlist for baby Jesus (randomn sample:- ‘Hear comes the Bee’ by ‘Big Baby Boy’ / rival evil / are you hungry scratch passionate (or evil) / I got AI / 1. my jacket copy of ‘Butetrflies and Lost Kids’ by A K Wallbreaker / smash the ideas of each and every kid of the age of 6 or over. / earting a counter lunch with a child killer, a butchwer and a pastor / rus wal music. / he craves an authentic death / smell of motor oil from the cot / what came out of Jandek’s tubes? / Whelandek – no way, home boy! / he emerged from the swamp wih a can of Cola and a bag full of nails and deflated balloons / teeth forst call./ crippled cowboy / first telephone call of the day was re. the fall of the kingdom (yeah!) / missing front room / I woke up with the distinct sensation of a sticky, orange soda-like substance speckled permanently on my two front teeth. / when the hard boiled eggs ran out the teacher gave a wide grin and invited the kids to paint his teeth / Easter death – yeah! / the hidden flood / golden front teeth (the rest are white) / key words:- voodoo, medicine, skull, penguin / desiderate feelings after advent of Glued Head War / flooded skull / no candy fir you, sweet mendicant (your teeth are rotten enough a sit is)/
they played their death metal to the convalescing Asian flu victims / deposit your bones here / Korean teeth are never very pretty
lead me around like dog / naturalised Jap / feathered enemy / displaying enmity towards your former best friend / golden testicle / / the rubber children / permanent eyebrows / I too koff my cardigan and cliomed in the hot hot tub/technically, you’re alive / shouldering the blame (magnetic rot) /
he was jabbering on about peacocks in a strangely indistinctive accent / the day they told me to wipe the cream from my face
out in the corner of the city with Tom Vague / chicken relish blues / poetic werewolf / a list of exotic fruits you would like to try
it’s difficult to know where you’re going if you don’t even know where you are / the maps beneath the maps / rented feet / the jungle floor was covered in baby feet and little vials of crack cocaine / dumb for luck/wash up your feet and come and see the bastard on the floor / time to sniff your filthy little finger/futuristic foot prints / Jesusw as a futirst/clattered into God / big beareded men in sex dungeons/brain gravy / slags in dungeons/ foreign toe nails / the shrubbery contains various tiny dogs and cats/corpse on the trampoline / wine and fine lovers/Sinn Fein baby / my hat fell off to reveal the caput of a super model /trash-humanism / spooky tooth – the return/which teeth should I clean this morning? / morning bleep / had an orgy with the cast of ‘Cats’ / cats in casts/
we coated the moon in butter for our own personal amusement / grovelling on a Tuesday (mother told me it was Wednesday)
I opened my curtains to find a spaceman sitting in my back garden / holy partition / yeah, but it’s only an entry-level jungle
my lover don’t eat ham-burgers / we introduced the spaceman to greasy spoon café culture / stranded on the edge of the moon
they always remove the thumbs first / a day out with women called Maureen / the wonderfully perfumed cadavers
salty freedom / assaulted by a gorilla dressed in a man costume / perfumed teeth. / kingdom of blind people / never mind the cat, what about me? / long-forgotten Christmas dogs / Christian dogs / sunburnt secrets / skinny hungry dogs of Mars / ..that’s no way to treat a porn king / my baby sleeps a little too soundly. / corduroy-clad orcestra / bring me the flesh of Mickey Mouse
a jar of ancient eyeballs was resting on top of the booming speaker and we worried it might fall off and smash on the concrete disco floor / mushed love / I get all mashy when I see my computer baby/suburban secret apple tree in surburbia/ suburb baby - Ba in the suburbs /
Bambi’s left foot is hanging round my neck / moon cadavers / the day my dreams fell out of my head and into a mucky oligeous puddle/ Skin Graft and the looped cassettes (operational death) / death in service memoris/
overground resistance / a life with the wrecking crew / insouciant gobs / screwed before breakfast / MacBeth is T-Rex!
it will never happen if you don’t taker your fingers out / Tijuana scrapbook / scrap the baby / baby on the scrap heap
burn the jester, for he disrespected Keith / anus of an owl / glorious drag queen / I hope to meet the real me real soon
the denouement came a little prematurely, and we were left unsatisfied / killed by makeshift gravity / graveyard bonus
Japanese trash culture / Tijuana bubble / born under a bad neon sign/ thoughts written down on scrap of paper by Black Sheridan
a callous way of telling me you were not actually my lover / a pseudo sun made us feel good for a few mins / erotic claw
labour day gravy / they told us to stop leaving our feet on the floor / the craving for sex got a little out of hand /sick map
he built a lovely little fence out of the skeleton bones / what day will the birds stop tweeting? / the naked prospector /Car crash culture / the man who liked to crash his car and then masturbate in the wreck (they made a film about this, dad) / Raj Moustache / dad was right, today is the beginning of (deleted to protect the identity of those mne in the corner) /
I love shiny-faced people / Men with too many teeth in their mouth / stuck in Geneva with The Crushed Maps
lay demon :– see- thru society / men with puppets attached to their hands / dandruff avalanche
mumbling into the mike / crooked muppet / cantankerous butcher’s assistant / wooden eyebrows / psychological Mondays
I shaved off your beautiful beards / fist shake 2000 / Muppets in the alley / life + times of the contents of Pee Wee’s pocket / I hate Indian music (I hate Indian musicans) / the man down the back alley claims to be the reincarnated Christ / I damaged your mind last night (0) /
Who on earth shot Merman? / Alfie went to Norwich and met three young lads all named ‘Barry’ / crushed by death!
the day bone collector decided he had enough bones, for now / we housed all of our family in Barry White’s abandoned coffin
we made a cocktail using the sweat from Barry White’s coffin / silver lion, come to me..make me feel manly /Tokyo is archaic
men who don’t look like women / I bricked up the silly kids / queen on the mattress / in a field with the dead mice
you think you’re clever cos you were the first person to notice that Michael Jackson was turning white
Sebaceous men sitting around contemplating their huge deserts / I live with a manikin named ‘Bill’
my daughter suggested that orotund kids should be banned from Burger King / lesbian pink dust
we coated the corpse in talcum powder to make it smell nicer / coshering on Xmas eve, 1919/ I could just about mamange to tickle my chidlrne with my broken fingwers / she touched me on my foot and this made me feel vaguely aroused (sexually) /
chubby children spilling out of the butcher shop / background chicken / I love to eat out / promoting dead mousse
dressage turns me on / Ghanaian Christmas / the day the boys exploded / ticklish finger / rainbows made me gay
these infant hands / the day-glo chicken / I think you may get the opportunity to smoke some bones later (if you stick around) /
George Best had a beard / I like to think of all the ghouls that ride on bone ships thru the stinking night / no, my dear..you are not beautiful. People just tell you that because they know that is what you need to hear / soiled spectrum / nativity cocks/
a fine coating of Arabian dandruff / Charles never did learn how to clean his teeth properly / forgotten animals of Noah’s Arc
I am Club Octopus patron number one / winter sunshine reminds me of my father’s peppers / damp sperm / granite baby / how queer of you it was to bring me down into this ehre sex dungeon / fancy a bite on my finger nails, lover? / can’t never get enough of my girl’s sugar / I poured a little sugar onto my toes and then tried to locate the weherebaouts of my bitch / a brief history of 15thc entury toe naisl / did u know..Martians have no toes nails / when he asked me if I had any loose meat, I think he emant to say loose change / stoical man, hold on – dog traffic / "I've got a little biscuit tin/ To keep your panties in/ Soiled panties, white panties, school panties, Y-Front panties"--/ I am the 80s (finger me now, Henry) - blood–sokaed dolls / winking camp zombie / winking is always camp, father / zombie on mushrooms / my erect tonsils / dancing in the quagmire/ everything comes from nothing (or should that be ‘something’?)/shit-stained ear lobes / little tiny humans called ‘Terry’ / If Jesus Christ is the father of punk, who is the son? / Brick Lane Hospital – what a confidence!! /morbid dogs (and cats) / cats with no teeth / recollections of a savage heathen (what am idoing in this dirt-covered spacesuit) /he arrived backone arth covered in shit and holding the 50% testamane tin his elft hand(s) / he awoke to find the alma had fallen asleep on his best suit / she awoke to find some evegatrians smoking the herb and talking about the deaths of Alma Coogan and Anthony Blair (the savage ghjsot of Millborough) / she awoke to find that she couldno longer speak French / father tongue (patricide is never a good idea) /
lipstick in horror style / we permed the girl’s hair and then put her on display for a fortnight / sold for a plate o’ cold meat
Cobra Kid has a beautifully languid disposition, don’t you think? (phone me!!) / sallow-faced men in 19th century paintings
his genitals had been placed in a small leather-bound box / eating alligator chops in a café in the middle of nowhere
that weird green room which doubles as a hairdressing salon / machinery fingers / ashamed of the Sheep People
I gave up writing about people whom resemble ducks / neurotic man in dungarees / it’s too late in the day to make some eggs
tea bags are dunked and map-books are opened / I can’t love you for your maps alone / filthy horizon
Mr Duckworth and the feinign apes / / coated in fur in the morning / erotic video season / it’s sunshine hour in death camp
Sometimes it is what you do with your beard that really counts / are all zombies scum bags? / Chinese treatise
your Chinese eyelids will not tempt me into giving away my map-books /Chinese maps are quite confusing
these maps are defunct as all of the topography has drastically altered / pampered corpse (2) / congenial zombie / my treasures in your attic (I want ‘em back) / powdered honeymoon / slag-heap pumpkin (it’s amazing what will grown on a slag heap)/heap of slags / Christmas honeymoon – egg railment (royal yobs) /it was possibly a mistake to play ’20 Jazz Funk Greats’ by Throbbing Gristole to my new girlfriend / changing heads in the back of the car/my girlfriend busied herself with taking balck and white photos of the dying studio engineer /we caught Lil’ Charlie with pockets full of ponrograhic lighters /
mad old Uncle Bennett put spiders in his curry / I leant my spare horse to the highwayman / bag o’ apples for centaur
good map-reading skills are not a solid foundation for a successful marriage / pepper the leper / your Asian bird has flu!
my girlfriend tried, in vain, to teach me how to read Monster Island Maps / she looked better with golden eyeballs
the eccentric landlord replaced the Buddha ornament with a used potato / no right to call yourself ‘Gold Kid’ /freedom of triangles/ /Baby on the roof / subjugation of Big Daddy (massive arrival) / dead fish on my patio /
perfumed tiger festival / bucket full of fish in tuxedos / I have a plan to ruin the rest of the world / fingers in the machinery
the arctophile climbed into his teddy bear costume and sat down for tea with Rupert and Edward (why are arctophiles invariable called Rupert or Edwards? / / kids don’t go on web / kids don’t grow on webs / Cockney pleasure dome /
I am desperate to make love to the girl that drew this here map / if you know how to read this map, please come with me
I should not have allowed my girlfriend to defecate on the map-book / was James Bond really gay? / walking through puppy jobs
‘Good map-reading skills’ is not a good reason to marry someone / I should not have left my two-week old son in charge of the maps/come down and see the preserved turtle’s bell-end / Gamma Raymond (chicken fist) / Gunga Din baby / baby on acid /
bifarious-headed demons are snacking on my brains / kennel milk cake for cat / what rubbish, Samuel (go to your room)
baby taught me to appreciate 3D movies (3D ghost) / smoking corpses / cute hospital / my new shining bomb
clocking on with Ali Nasty and the Pimps / Golden Roger ® / plasticine hump / Bebo’s dirty circus hat / glorious cripple
..like sausages arriving from heaven / Paddy Nasty and the Door Mice / Pakistani I Bomb. / cripples in the Navy
oh lord won’t you give me one of your pretty celestial horsies? / it’s a precious corpse / Malcolm is an excellent name for a bird.
adventures with Patti Patti Smith / I don’t know or care what a circus is / I don’t know who the Juniper Group were.
I thought you resigned from your position as Head Lad? / I shaved off my perm / I hate women who wear perms
Insouciant solider having a crafty cig on the front line / enemy eyelids / I hate farded girls in Northern pubs
eating liver ‘n’ onions with the doomed factory line-manager / I lived beneath Top Cat’s front teeth
small boy spitting onto a map of Hollywood, CA / door men with halitosis / Cuban lip-reader / pink handicap
drugged werewolf / champion spastic / I knew I shouldn’t have worn my pink trousers to the rodeo / my lover needs a hoby (as I am aaway in South Korea quite a lot these days) / summer in these days happy yes yes no CC no GG / 25 days before Spiderman goes to college / that boy there in the flower bed with cans/attix baby / death in the attic/thos egloriosu bones / in bed with the or a monster/ the plastic echo / tiny children from China, Japan and Korea eating berries and having a good time / bifarcous trees make the kids happy / remains of the dead/
I got crapped on at Xmas dinner party / Algerian Xmas / don’t dance with Helicopter Princess / in bed with Linda Smith
from a strictly homosexual point of view / Algerian helicopters / my wings have been rendered useless / reptile’s penis
buffalo in the bath tub / DJ Lampshade just played my 801st favourite drum and bass track / splintered wooden corpse
in love with the mendicant, despite his filthy fingers (I just cannot help myself) / these sausages have arrived! / I just visited my 500th Japanese factory/bargain Christ / even Jesusu has dumbed-down now /
your beard is slightly too big, Mr Harrison / dumb in the morning / Christmas drool /Bully Wee is not for me / African eyebrows
my dad won a ‘Golden Globe’ award and promptly lost it because he was drugged-up / those vanishing zombies / buggered DJ
we shaved down the wooden idols and used the shavings as bedding for the tiny rodents / scag markers / deadly lampshade
when we were the gay lads / clutching onto junior werewolve’s tiny little paw / when I grow up I want to be a vacum cleaner
my five favourite Colombian bands in no order:- Jazz Rockets, Tide of Fish, Dandruff Market, Caged Goats, Wobbly Chin
the alligator’s gloves were ripped to shreds / we presented a bunch of nosegays to the fresh corpse / facile masterpiece
we spent Saturday afternoon translating the New Testament into Mandarin Chinese / moist bananas / promoting the whore house
momma won’t let me back in the house ‘till I get some pants that fit / the machine started being sick all over the shag pile
I shed little skin in 1988 / sordid cake addicts learn English (SCALE) / puff in the dog house / bleak jazz! /fascile masterpiece/ I never did lick your lips like you asked me to/ wshing machinery poetry (not Kate) / spooky toe nails of the not-long deceased/ I was a school dinenr aldy in the dirty south / I confuse my own son / I agree to come to the moon with you, but on the condition that I get to wear my favorutoe green and yellow tank-top / German dandruff / ..the aeroplane yawns / cabbage patch troll / mean old daddy sitting in Mermaid Café drinking strong coffee and smoking dirty old back cigareetes / black fagot/she left her credit card and pocket note book on the moon / spciealise death (hemmingburg’s lament) / black eyeball (Lesiure McCarntey)/ left my fox in the glove compartment / hear the spaceship yawn / defeaning noise from under the pavement/my pet Ming Rat / Junior toothbrush / sideboard Jesusu / the door opened and in walked Kiddie Wink / are these the forogtren trosuers you spoke of in chapter 14? / vercial ksiuend/booby on the moon /chicken change refund for a broke Wunder Kid / the Angelic Balloo / peanuts for chump / chump eating peanuits and getting dirty water kicked over his shoes/mysterious teeth / blind man#’s buffet / can’t reason with blind ennant/the antique eyelids / jazz hamerorage / a nice wartmsnaguinde abth for the weary traveller/ white man’s burkaa / Pat is an excellent anme for a cow / I should never have bought that woman / Elvis John was and still is my lover (pur yerslf a glass of brown ale) / you stole those tits, didn’t you / sex pipe / sex with the Queen’s dogs /
the day Top Cat got his front teeth knocked out / the corpse who lived most of his life under a door matt
the day my mom moved in with Roger Daltrey / we were impressed by the lack of death on your planet / walrus of drum ‘n’ bass
the day David Bowie became obsessed with astral jazz / I ain’t gonna work for no chicken-bellied farmer out of Arizona
depressing jazz makes me happy child / I bombed the cola factory / bad ol’ gums of teddy boy / damaged by BA / Thom 91
we were naïve kids, we though that Mickey Mouse was the great white hope / we can’t sail on no voodoo ships
why you wanna go and put dat funny big monkey on top o’ da Empire State for? / chuckling at brickie’s arses / cauliflower kid
he was whistling Wilson Joliet on the penultimate bus home / we plied the kids with Chinese candy / ‘are we alive yet’
I wrote down the names all the couples who reminded me of John and Yoko (in green ink) / this sordid future (I am young)
I fell in love with a girl who looks like an ironing board / the long beard of Big Child / god is sleeping in today.
they’re only a family of freaks past 07:00pm / he strongly resembled the last man I made love to / Lord John’s hair spray
I regret not going to shoe shine college / it’s not meant to look like a tonsure, Billy / trilingual child learning a fourth language
I have a penchant for Columbian sausage / the Cubans always get restless at about 7.15pm / receving hugs from sailors
he got locked in his room by his step-father, even though ‘California frown’ was just a typo / alive despite of death
it’s time to accept that honey monster needs to be locked away / I won’t allow my kids to touch cereal boxes anymore
being led into town by the King of Mixed-up Children / I drew fear all over your face with Australian chalk
Damon Albarn gave me a little bag full of plastic teeth that he collected in Africa / lassitude is very common on last bus home
the African civil servant was annoyed that her fake thumb nail had broken off when she was typing out a letter
I defended myself using only the tape from a Blur cassette and a bag of washing nails / African bingo
…so I didn’t record over my ‘African Cement Factory Jug Band’ debut LP cassette / ain’t it nice to be gay?
Bob Dylan’s new LP is called ‘ Life on the Chalk Board’ / my mum just met Ivor Cutler’s toe nails
after the first hit (African prince floated past my face) / I took her in at 1.57 in the afternoon and held my nostrils tight
the termination of plastic Jesus / largo gal soldiers (she wiped off her war paint and went to bed with her best friend’s sister)
he left his bucket of sludge on the dining room table / trading blows with a hippy / proof of Dracula / I forgot to feed the gorilla
coloured zombies were introduced around 1978 / yellow urine became more prominent in the early 80s / sucking on meat
the baby floated down the cannelure with a large happy smile on his little face / Shiva has at least 3 sore fingers.
it is difficult to get a giraffe into a conventional sized suitcase / the surface of the moon is coated in jazz dandruff
Deirdre dreams of being the first septuagenarian to set foot on the moon / plastic teeth of pseudo Dracula / bum sybarite
Maureen dreams of being the first octogenarian to set foot on the moon / moonshine heartbeat (animal’s pulse)
I think I ruined the first date by scrawling ‘Kali – the Destroyer woz ‘ere’ on the wall on the way to the restaurant
ignore my chalk board face / there is a list of yellow things written on the back of the front room door / Alaskan heat-wave
Saint Simian discusses anything you want for 10p / have come all the way to India to see some curly finger nails? / frozen teeth
sensational abortion / you must place the morsel of meat in your gob before you englut, Terence. / anybody can walk backwards
he removed his crush hat to reveal a beautifully painted chestnut-coloured head / crushed by sexual anticipation / white baboon
Mr Walnut came to say hello, but we were out / wipe the skeleton’s chin / that lovely smell of poo / the secret life of a cadaver
Piquant cadaver / Anybody can wrestle, you know / don’t admit to liking American stuff. / grown up like a Northerner
making it ‘happen’ with the Ghanaians / suicide squeeze / Nigerian dandruff / Morrissey dictionary / perfume dictionary/2. David Lynch Cubist missile crisis (dogs) / shaved doggies / I am Barry Nutemg and I super-glued my teeth back in / my 9 teeth are slowly rotting away / new big pricne around town (NBP) / Prince is a womaniser..what? /met an ex-Ted at Swiss border/ new French skin / charcoal sunrise / I gave God all of his best ideas/
3rd yr girls with swollen gobs / we arrived back to find the kipsie had been obliterated by the on-going war
screwed from behind on Christmas morning / Christian chimps / dressing-up for Christmas dinner with the queens
I should have cut my hair before sex / Clarence always wanted a nose job / he fribbled away all his fruit / doctor’s addiction
I wish people were a bit more friable / stop fingering my bible / I wrapped the baby in foil and placed ‘im in fridge
we kept all of the good gorillas in the front room, and the dirty ones in the back garden / tongues out for Les Bean
they mixed the humans in with the apes, and no one noticed / gorilla’s dictionary / the hoary teacher doesn’t understand pop
may I present to you America’s least hungry fat man / I wasn’t aware that you had to wash up before going on a date
all i wanted from my gillie was a reassuring glance from time to time / 1999 was a mellifluous time to be a newborn
death of history / ‘this is the echt article’, proclaimed the spectacles-wearing Sandy / the king of the limps / Prince’s lips
dense haircut / the laniferous men of Sheep City / I finally taught myself how to dance like a queen
people park their cars in your belly / inauthentic grins of the permanently upset / life of the balloon babies
we waved the flags, and they were promptly ripped from our hands / kids that live inside balloons / zoo helicopter
kings of Christian poetry / ex-jazz astronaut / fallen in love with the thumb sucker / a life without puzzle books is pointless
an immutable truth that you found written down on the back of a Chinese take-away menu / jazz dandruff
a list of children who were disturbed by the circus / apnoea sufferers in a heap on side of road / glad to be hot bitch!
I lost my mind in an Ethiopian bungalow / apodictic demonstration taught us how to make love properly / disturbed lineage
dead vulture on your plate / these kinky emotions / blood of the sea birds dripping on your meal / foxy in his duffel jacket
trying to avoid French people in Paris, Texas / the unavoidable triangle of truth / kinky Sundays / too kinky for the armed forces
broken out by the Sideboard Kings / he kept a plastic walnut inside his special box / set aside for the mutant
I don’t kill people I hate / mesmeric fat kid / a lovely little moustache on a teenage lad / baby on the sideboard
Christmas tonsils / getting laid on Christmas day / chuckling at under-privileged movie stars / Alfie is naked from the head up.
raggedy corpse of the mayor being paraded ‘round the town centre / father’s got his waffle shoes on again
6 of my top ten favourite friends are ethnic minorities!! / my head is too big for my bedroom / bedroom baptism
modern women often choose their own husband / sexual chin blisters / is it true that you sell exoptic animal penises on E-Bay?
I got my diploma in karate, I wanna show it off to the women at the internet café / jazz waffle cringing at the winter surfers
I think we might have located Sugar Man / when I was a boy I grew an extra penis / I put my thumbs inside your gaping mouth
faute de mieux caused us to go out and kill some astronauts / life of a fake space gypsy / the restive corpse (in the front room)
we tried to attract men who were addicted to pork pie meat / I went home to find my boyfriend in a girl’s sailor suit
why do cops have beards? I buttered the jazz astronaut’s space suit to allow him to slip inside it more easily / solo burp
brave gravy / let’s invite the chubby kid / lent my proprium to gypsy Elvis / gravy dripping from a policeman’s beard
I handed a VHS copy of ‘Citizen Cane’ to the butcher boy, and told him to watch it after he had washed all the blood off his hands and feet / my lips are sticky because of all the time I spent kissing the sweet-eating lesbian / moon milk for space baby
watching the lesbian shuffle from the highest point in the village / grandma keeps cans of poison in her downstairs toilet
Ethiopia is too cold this time of year / we discovered a very fine coating of dandruff on the corpse’s life vest / morbid onion
glamorous octogenarians being paraded around the city centre / I picked my nose 2 seconds before the queen walked in
deformed Tuesday / Japanese people will only accept genetically-modified kittens / spoonful of ideas / dead pimps litter the street
Darth Vader gets one of his slaves to polish his helmet / it took a trimester for us to pick out a new boyfriend for our son
raggedy Christian beards / maybe they crucified the wrong man / I’m jealous of your sandals, carpenter / dead man’s sideburns
tufts of hair on the chained-up corpse / American people look even fatter close up / origins of the dead / Ethiopian blondes
we made kebabs from the body parts of the left-over Christians / would you like to bite my little toes?
the janitor presented me with a bag of cuckoo beaks (waxed and ready to eat) / I fell in love with the cheesemonger’s daughter
stop out all morning with Drizzle King / 13th apostle / porcine luck / Christian blisters / I fell in love with Elvis 2
I fell in love with Elvis all over again / I tucked my tracksuit bottoms into my socks / it’s difficult to sit pretty if you’re ugly Daniel laid back down on the carpet and waited patiently for the hole to grow bigger /spastic fashion
/ what will the yellow triangle taste of? / two goblins, one called Captain Ankles and one called Yak Triangle.
Tea time for fascist / blind man at the buffet / Ethiopian computer shop / staring at blind people / baby inside a pencil case
There is another one called Oink Balloon. / used carcass salesman / learn how to salt your own meat / King Oink
retinue of wolfs / I don’t get on with my drill instructor / paracme super models on file
deep-fried lip gloss / boiled memories / kids are taller on the other side of the moon
I have always wanted to get the chance to touch the glabrous surface of Telly Savalas’ head / selling diet pills to chimps
perfect smile of the dead doctor (perfect smile of the dead dog) / I only remove my top on Tuesday nights
It’s just a snow brick, not something you hang ribbons around and stick in an art room / jazz shop reunion dinner
perfect smile of dead dog / dead dog floating around the car park / I paid for a blow-dry, not a blow-job!! / guinea pig pipes
..and then the decomposing dog winked at me. / atrophy on the top top bunk / jealous of sky raver / glorious rubber teeth
mellifluous little karate chops on my bare arse / stop talking to God Elvis / I was raised back-to-front / King Adams Kong
Elizabethan fear factor / Victorian death metal / drum ‘n’ bass first became popular circa 1887 (no computer jazz)
he told me the zoo-keeper was a sex machine / I like to jog with my penis out / sexy girls of Top Shop reunion dinner
Gandhi was upset because he left his flip-flops in the Top Man changing room / a blind man beating up a car park attendant
I jogged past the graveyard and noticed a group of zombies feeding on the flesh of a dead car park attendant
my brother woks in an Ethiopian sweet shop / I made my way through the thick crowd of gorillas / feet taste like chicken
do you get hedgehogs in Africa? / this cuckoo needs re-setting, dad / energised by the sight of my wife in trunks
I found myself stuck in a box with a bank manager, a lion tamer and a prostitute / now the internet is chicken
caged men being fed chicken and candy / diluvian drainage systems / sex shop fire sale / lady of midlands shit hole
how can the devil tell when I want my glass refilling? / I tried, in vain, to persuade Leonard Cohen to put his gloves back on
Licked off before supper / supernatural birth / I need to finger the Urologist / thickly spread on the turtle butter / damp fries
Apotheosis of Lionel Diamond / we smoked the leftovers / purple grins of old men / today I met an abecedarian Rastafarian
second hand job / I only feel happy when spending time with Billy Electro and co / happy faces at hippy commune dinner-dance
Elton John always requests a monkey on his rider for ‘emergencies’ / I just killed a jazz fairy / Mars fauna makes me hungry Chili dawgs always bark at night / I scrubbed out the fat kid’s diet board / I welcome porn stars of all varieties / cuffed dentist
the chav’s waste basket was full of used lottery tickets / I addressed the porn star as ‘honey’ even though her name was Mildred
would you like some of Ginola’s dandruff to take home with you? / crippled species resting in the sand dunes / insects in my ass Dean Floyd and the cavity kids / promulgating outside the local Burger King / I am still not a vegan, Erika
I just found a goblin in the sand dune / so what is ET, Keith? / electric shampoo / dashing thru the graveyard (avoiding zombies)
the Japanese cannot grow very large moustaches / Pakistan Stan is selling his best jeans as they don’t fit no more
my dad recognises the futility of acting macho / I just erased all your memories of the astronaut / no Stacey, I am not a spaceman
I traded a baby cat for a 50 cent wrist watch (with a calculator and shit on it) / fired into the air like a rocket baby
Elvira in the graveyard showing her flange to sailors and the like / how to paint like Rolf Harrods
learning how to fall without hurting yourself (by Pink Floyd) / enter the bloodhound (through the back door)
trying (in vain) to convince the bus conductor that I am a teenager /Mr Benny got lost on Mars / cubist household
filthy video (I forgot my name again, mother)/Glorious Russian pros / talking ‘bout the New Testament Blues/ river bed baby / men who live inside hollowed out rocks /
dip your chin in the ice bucket (chin chiller) / glorious bastards from way back when / I barfed up on my sister’s Roxette LPs
Straighten your pubes on Christmas morning / Christian enemy (Bangkok gristle) / Caribbean comb-over / I got my plastic dog in my damaged / Everton three Arse nil /Caterina refuses to dance to anything except the 2Unlimited remix of ‘Lucky Carpet’. death row memories / pub rocker at the jazz festival / my dad only goes to jazz festivals to look at the stylish women
the movie ‘Race with the Devil’ inspired me to take more chances / chinless super models (are the best) / the man who wore gloves to bed / side-parted at breakfast/ the day I stopped believing in Jesus Christ / I fell in love with the bully
a sideward glance at the ass hole / girls are more inclined to get loaded than they were in ‘my day’ / he could tell from smelling my fingers that I had been putting my hands in the blancmange again / sniffing dogs on Xmas morning
Andre 3000 slept with my wife/ my first Alsatian chamber / stretching out in the luxurious coffin / Australian in direct eyeshot
Human remains in the Bad Sugar / pretty gypsy / gypsies are known fro being beautiful / council estate teeth
am I entitled to a free hand message? / Gordon the baby made the old people feel young for the day
I predicted that Gorilla Monsoon would be shaking in the morning / furry helicopter / why do you support QPR, dad?
Daniel the monkey made the old people feel young at heart for a day / the defiled streets of Old Leon / toothless baby
dank eighties (I know I should own a computer, but I don’t) /short fingered body borders / crepuscular baby
the day they turned their attention to the tropical dogs / is it a necessity for babies to have support chains?
there are no damp patches on the surface of the moon / as requested- here are some photos of the dead boss’ bones
there are no damp patches on the surface of the moon / as requested- here are some photos of the dead boss’ bones
I painted my husband’s face before we set down for breakfast / girls with glued-on faces / the day we boiled the pig
these days I sleep on a bed of meat / annular love-in / 1888-89 sex show records have been del. / Sister Vinegar came to say hi
are babies supposed to have chins? / Tina Turner likes to read books on the shitter / Cramped conditions of coffin
Posh people on the moon / Yeah, I know I look like Ben Dover..stop reminding me / when will Cujo the Dog be released on VHS in this country? / why is Cecille B De Mille afraid of pancakes? / courted by DHS
why didn’t Dracula get his teeth fixed? / how many miles is it till Christmas? / why doesn’t Mick Jagger wear men’s clothes?/ my sister was extradited from the Nigerian film industry / gripped by a longing for blood and sex / gypsies have no toenails/does Jake Auker (AKA ‘Spike’) look a bit like Ben Dover? / Spike, Jake Auker and Conrad Higgs are discussing things out of the side of their mouths (Spike and Jake Auker are, of course, the same person..but you Chinese tourists knew that, didn’t ya?) / my cousin is not homosexual..he just happens to have really nice teeth / plastic hat on a baboon / honest moustache
mayhem caused by cheese drone (drone drone) / shake of the butterflies / Bollywood skank / who got the hambone?
Norfolk is an eerie hole (frog fête) / digging in the frost for lost children / camel at the window (naked from the waist down)
swept away with the water babies / Captain Frye and the drunken scholars / Oxford biceps / underground giants
not all pigs taste good / king of the Finger Tips / blind king / personalised Jesus / I was giant before you made me bigger
. Too fast to work. Too fast to write. I just burn burn burn. I eat hot dogs. I live on pies. I'm 45.” / honestly, I’m not a puppet
I’m 45 – I am in cahoots with Bastard Righteous Society /careful with that hand grenade, Tommy / awful god (Spanish sideburns)/acting tough for the benefit of my sister’s lover/ I shook out the dandruff & it landed on my uncle’s fish platter /
my three favourite new groups..1. The Atheists 2. Dead Eel Kick 3. Elvis and the Mermen (AKA Elvis and the Fishmen)
I walked the streets of Camden with a feather sticking out of my back pocket / walk like a baby /it’s a good idea to have a bah now and then / fearsome front tooth / cardboard cheese/the boy with the cardboard body / hidden inside a lady’s vagina / tantalised by the sermon that I never heard before / everybody in this commune insist that God was an astronaut ( and not one of the following…disc jockey, carpenter, fish monger, black man, lion tamer) / don’t octopuses look skanky these days? / wipe that smile off your face and kiss my knee caps, Sweet Sweaty Queen / question – is it OK to take a shit on the hard shoulder? / I licked my lips whilst contemplating the kebab I was going to be eating later that evening / six eager gay men turned up at my father’s buttery / young man’s night cap (young man’s finger nails need polishing up before the conference begins) / I am appalled that my six year old daughter wrote ‘the school teacher was tantalised by the pseudo jockey slut’ on the inside cover of her copy of ‘Harry Potter and the Doomed Jaws of Mu Mu Land’ / KLF piss /
I handed out upside-down CDs of my latest group ‘Jack Trick and the Magi’s of Doomstown’ / junior switchboard
apple haul from invisible orchard – 0 (zero) / blind man’s penis / underage dog / frightened by nice bearded people
Zero Handclap Records new reissue release:- ‘Zombie’s Day Off’ by The Blue Pulse (fantastic 80s post-everything jazz group)
our nascent rockabilly group split up because of a disagreement between me and our drummer:- the drummer wanted us to sign with ‘Respectable Records’ but I wanted us to sign with Mykel Board's ‘Bizarre Atlas’ label / lost drug addict
..it is all part of my morally respectable mid-life crisis / a list of bit-part actors I shagged in the 90s / blues from up ahead
awful dogs / inside the trembling mind of an ageing saint / parody of a skeleton /soul pecker / deep sea beauties/ one note kids (I lost my soul before breakfast) / deep sea peckerheads / the ageless beauties of Atlantis / blind man trying to locate his teeth
I gotta take out my baby, she wants to see the river /casket cobweb (Toe Trophy) / too decadent even for jazz club
Psychedelics, one assumes, are for pansies and dandies, while opiates suggest bohemian decadence / his arm looks like a fish
it’s easy to identify the men who are too young to grow beards / jumping on the back of a floating milkman
we found a place called home for Weirdo Magoo /sick of yBAS / eating Christmas dinner on the moon /I withdrew my hand from the puppet and sniffed my fingers..they smelt of warm felt and I knew I was happy again / my teeth came loose after spending sixteen minutes on the bucki9ng bronco / bay-haired beauties / 1. inserted the figure nine into a forgotten list of enemy kin / Rex in my armchair-can’t get him out / I sent my girlfriend off to tease the prisoners / I once met a hirsute man who claimed to be a direct descent of Harry / his capitose head reminded me off the man who had told me where I could find the Arc of the Covenant / I don’t go in for that ‘Flim Flam Vegan Meat’ nonsense / borderline punk / back-up copy of ‘Tight-Fisted Loo’ / if there’s one thing I learned in school it was how to take a beating / driving to Portsmouth with a young file de joie and a man who claims to have met God /
a long list of magicians I shagged when I was a teenager / legend of the Man-Turtle /heavy-handed ghost / I sniffed my fingers and the smell reminded me of a girl I once knew before the war / heavy ghost / cruising for twat
a man lived in a pharos and spent his days paining shit that had washed up on the beach / carpet kisser meet carpet muncher
sex on the back of a skateboard/ crack of light becoming heavier / discussing the numbers game with the dictionary pioneer
society got too heavy and dark for my immature eyes / vegan cabaret / go to sleep in the bath with the bubble boys
the world is full of people who will only listen to their records backwards (what do they want?)
I keep my baby in the bass drum / He had to ask himself a lot of scary questions that night. /glowing like a Serbian cow / stuck in the deep-fried traffic / the jolly Baptist
reconvict + refuel you /the day the Jap stopped laughing / gallant cuckoo / I was never an astronaut, Chris
forgotten millennium (Do u kids remember year 2000?) / ordure was sliding down the cannelure and falling onto kittens
forgotten millennium (Do u kids remember year 2000?) / ordure was sliding down the cannelure and falling onto kittens
is it F’d up to decorate your own coffin with pictures of your favourite celebrities? / crucified yet again
free jazz sleepover (missing operative word) / whale in the microwave / scribbling down reasons why it might be possible to find Lord Lucan / I’m watchin’ the mutants /ripped off from Montague Derek’s best ever dissertation on pet whore / you regretted putting your dog up for sale / humanoid shampoo / over the years I have come to appreciate proletarian knitwear / I never was a techno dad / certified dead hero / despite having a flat, my father insisted on living in a small hole he had dug in my aunties back yard / I covered my fingers in talcum powder and plunged them into the congealed custard / virgin plunge / simian plunge /
bird of joy (eel pie slap-up lunch); knitwear patterns for preening peacock jumper / I have always been afraid of silence / when was the last time you heard the sound of mocking laughter? mock Tudor Pole / Paularoid and the distant lovers of Keen (I love myself) / I love you, you are a knob.
dodging messed-up looking rabbits on the way to school / do dogs have fingers? / zombie high-life
I dressed my pet dog up for Xmas / house of pigs / far away bachelors murdering snacks / my sexuality was confiscated
thank God for Satan (‘If’ was a good movie)- “You won’t find anything more natural than British attention to the wrong detail
I never did become obsolete (bought second-hand corpses) / have you ever heard Edward laughing? / Edwardian comedy club
the blind kid asked ‘what do men look like?’ / beefy bubble (Beaver ’84) / BLT TLC
mother dressed as a wolf / I tried to memorise the names of all the people I have persuaded to walk around town backwards
my baby left me with a blood orange stuck in my gob /second hand dog / I am a village idiot, am I not?
madness is a modern phenomenon, Giles / kissed by an infant spaceman / kissed by an astronaut/ a modern nose job
I don’t really mind being stuck outside all night, I just don’t like it when I get pissed on by an AYM
techno dad (put him back together, Joseph) / cattle scares the hell outta me
jazz in pieces on floor (cursor kitten) /smoke and be jolly / let’s dry-out some corpses / juicy masters’ degree
will we ever see a teen president of the USA? / it was lucky for Britney that she didn’t find the secret note book
boneyard banquet (my latest request came all the way from Norfolk (I) / Big kinky Jesus / I am attracted to girls who know how to read the alphabet backwards / we spotted at least six donkeys wandering around Hong Kong / ginger recluse/ stuck in Hong Kong /
she removed her mutch to reveal a tattoo of a dragon’s face (complete with realistic-looking cheeks)
cuddled by a demon / Doctor Roland and the Heavy Girls / Lol Charles taught me how to play piano backwards issue 1 contained a frank account of the slow life of Jewel Bowie /world owes us nothing, Mary Quattro (night cat)
when played backwards, the Dead Chops sophomore LP ‘Kidney Priest’ puts all teenagers in a coma
jazz for lads (boy I wish I was a single girl again) / my boyfriend is so bloody ugly..he is hideous he is!!
a lavender-scented tramp told me that the internet was actually the tongue of Satan (CS?) / Billy Pilgrim stuck in Southern wind we then released 106 blood- filled balloons into the sky / gorgeous skin of skeleton (anti-Islamic foot doctor)
I dreamed of becoming an oiled dame (what a bunch of gorgeous skeletons) / enjoy as blood doughnut /did u enjoy yoyo moose?
screwed-up eyes of DL regular / beauties of the compost heap / tussis-sufferers on last train home (are we going home!!)
reeling off the names of people I met in the 70s (inc. ‘Carl Davenport’, ‘Beau Cher’ and ‘Teri Hubert’) / dark hoss in the hood. Strip club blues / I enjoy getting stuck in lifts / I am addicted to bastard pill / chins of summer
bastinado made him tell them the identity of Rueben Ratter / peace is overrated
his diplopia made him believe that he was about to have a threesome / black croaking lizard (black dub rat)
diplopic teens of Jamaica / stand up and meet your new enemy number one / what’s your name, Gary?
our legacy was mainly a big pile of empty hair gel bottles (yes, we liked to gel our hair) / flagrant belly dancers in UK
men with slippery countenances should not be trusted / blubber on the bus/ high low eyebrows / slave to the implants
we smeared motor oil and scran all over the butch child’s tough-looking face / I taught the limbless boy how to play the piano did I tell you that it was I who wrote ‘Life in a Day’ / women look much better without facial tics / modern heavyweight.
is it wrong to blur boundaries in 2006? / sucking eyeballs on the way home from Oran 2006
flashing your green teeth at the prostitutes / he painted his teeth to make them less verdescent
the world is full of people who like to walk backwards / the world is teeming with people who enjoy thinking aloud
babies look far cuter after you have jabbed them for a bit / too cute for the circus / golden hand job
your ring tone reminds me of a tune that I used to hear getting hummed when I was in a Turkish prison / torture chamber jazz half way to the moon, we decided to turn back (we remember heir was a good film on later) / angry and gristly
the scent of a wax jacket reminds me of my childhood in Berkshire / honorary gristle / floating through the week
stroke my chin and pretend I am your lover / keep an eye on Joe, it’s nearly time to go to church / big beard on a baby
Elvis was never as good after he learned to read / my eyebrows smell of cash. / the Croesus’ hands stank of cash
we refused to allow Depeche Mode to cover our entire back catalogue with the exceptional the following LPs..'Jack Stack and the Fingerless Lepers’, ‘Two Mornigns with the Salt Baby’ and ‘Shit Tickler’ / gut full o’ flesh / I decided to edit out all references to ‘Goth Rock UK’ / gothic rocker stuck in a sand dune /I gave away all my expensive goods and hired a middle-aged man to jab me for a few hours / girls have pink knuckles, boys have hairy skeletons / psych-pop dandy
‘Wolf Manshine’ was a suitably edgy sobriquet for the Horse Doctor / bloody edge of the dope motel + jazz hospital
‘The Edgar Allen Poe of jazz criticism’ / gut full of candy floss/ my son-in-law lives in an elementary cardboard box / I have encouraged the farmer to send me photos of dead pigs on a regular basis / girls in front of green screens / wide-screen bad men / the seat should be positioned just to the left of the cactus and directly in front of the TV set / bleeding valves / dead end dogs / my father always made copious notes when slaughtering an animal / cuckoo drum / I love to smile at dead men / butcher’s grin / he took a perverse, yet understandable, pleasure in slaughtering pigs / have you ever had a Chinese boyfriend? / my eyes are white but my skin is mauve / Chinese finger nails / I have to blow you frequently as you are too hot/she said I was the finest poet she had ever met, until i started prattling on about girl drummers and plastic food in DIY stores / jung x I wiped your face after you had finished your mash/ Chinese man in the sitting room / juggler’s breath / diseased echo (bathroom wall etc. entry 1) / entry number 2 consisted of a jeep covered in garlic butter and a young girl with pearls in her hands /
I spent all the money on cartoon drawings of Sketchy Eamonn and some pills for my siblings / they are addicted to fried ups.
at the end of the tour we gave the female orchestra players the chance of a free boob job / Hungry Man Theme Song
smoke me out and educe the cries of Shiva / devil got me juicy / I rode back from space with one eye on my biggest enemy
I found an abandoned bible and, written on the inside back cover, were the following names..'Janus Crag, Modern Kid, Gypsy Eye-Strong and Clint Duckworth’ / fishing for sex / pudding basin baby / buy me some bones from E Bay
went to sleep with a picture of Barry the Dinosaur in my hand /aah..the smell of steamed welfare burgers
it used to be associated with bellicose teens / he could not be persuaded him to feign sleep /you don’t see teeth like that on TV any more / pissing on a ancient relic / I amassed all of the pelagian creatures I had collected over the years and photographed them for the benefit of the bubble children / kids in bubble the bubble / afraid of tame worms / I tamed the worm at 3.30am approx. / bring your girlfriends o I can see how tall she is / thin bitches make me happy /
he took his cardigan off and laid down in the soberer sun / en brose hairstyles of Texan red necks / stop interrupting the chief
undate hand gestures of modern Asian kids / I do prefer modern Asians to those old ones that sit on buses / drunk work-out
Lilly Savage is a man / mire devout edge stronghold of the Lord ./ malingering through xmas / liquid gaze /the new Porgy
W1: Prince of Flames can work it out / would it be ok if I played the bongos in the nude? / my fat cheeks are on fire
werewolf with a car phone..now that takes the biscuit Mary / a harmonious godless society is not possible / honest rockets
I fell asleep in Hayes when I was a student / I spent some time snogging the new boy / here (comes) caramel bones
the singer got in a sulk and went off to core some drugs and get a bag of chips (and a saveloy sausage and a can of ale from ‘Spar’) / my boyhood hero was Yob Doom / the sexy grave digger / see that my grave is kept nice and clean, like a baby’s arse. in the company of a peanut-sized wolf / the case if the missing velvet bum bag / I put your dog in storage/ bag of dog’s beaks
Long-abandoned Fall LP title ‘Jack made me do it’ (Mark E. Smith, the author of “Consent to Tyranny: Voting in the USA”,)
reeling off the names of the graveyard diggers/ the world is full of people who enjoy lurking in graveyards
there’s no way you can get away with having two hairstyles / African haircut / we gave Ethiopian Bob a lift to the circus marooned babies / corduroy orchestra / who would have guesses Christ would return so soon / moob implants
modern state of mind (can’t escape that Saturday night feeling) / gorilla litter / war cakes / take my baby to the ‘lectric chair
we encouraged the children to shave their eyebrows off before school / caged bishops / home-made electric chair
reproof aimed at family witch doctor / trinkets, baubles, precious catalogues; we lost it all in one second / 1. conclusion drawn from acid house revolution number 01 / the slimy substance that covered the spaceman’s helmet / I stuck up my posters with the adhesive goo that I got from the inside of the abandoned space shuttle / orchestra of shoes / vinegar mirage
my eye is out of my pants again / furry bastard of NYC / modern demons / i can’t stand firearm jazz / bottomless ship
I really don’t want to get my head removed, Alexis / put your fingers inside a nice warm asshole / telescopic baby
precluded from the Danger Zone (Pea News - the Crisis) / Bad News Vol. 03 – the eggs ‘ave gone rotten / minature gob
oh no not the one about the long lost city if the aeroplane babies again / surely modern man is no better than 1966 man?
dog meat sweeter (I left my car keys on the ocean bed) / sleeping with the parasites / these trousers are making me lazy
even a white woman wouldn’t wear these trousers / Marley Marley (skunk bag) / fat-lipped friends
each club member was given a half-eaten ‘Spaceman 3’ cassette and a bag of chestnuts / cringing at goblins
evening Spaniard walking through rain + shit (onion pipe) / a cat combed his own hair / stuck outside with just a hair pie
ape roaming around Paris admiring the sexy birds / LV bleeding noses comes as a result of too much talking crap
inbred culture of Damascus Island (Wayne got shorter every day) / inbred smiles / a boy gets fat at the weekend
1985 (Ulysses exert heavy birth) (birth of helicopter w-techno playing loud!) / smiles of flared hussies (1985)
you can keep all my cash, just gimme back my ‘Kasenetz-Katz Singing Orchestral Circus’ LPs / I have always been interested in inbred culture / a racist poem made us feel very angry / chunky foetus
we celebrated Wolf-Man Day with a pot of olives and some cold lagers / please enjoy the explosive orchestra
Back Street Bean Yard Baby / televised bumming / I didn’t realise beards were illegal in Southampton /die like a man, Jesus
the dour yoyo (we are all inbred on this here island, Cecil)/ hairy eyes of little weird kid from up the street
at the request of King II, we will present all living children with a stuffed horse to play with until the wars commence
Amidst stuffed horses' heads, skeletons on bicycles and mocked up corpses, three of contemporary dance's most infamous individuals are gathered at the request of Jack Auction. / I don’t mind getting raped by a gorilla. / German lifestyles
admiring a Frenchman’s haircut / admiring Jesus from afar / primary eyeballs / sexual ingestion / computers are generally broken
he had a penchant for blue corduroy /he always made love coram populo / dominated by Jesus / the liquid orchestra
I have had minimal contact with Christ / Christ teen / the flowers of hell / why do teenagers love guns?
why do miracles always take place on top of mountains? / here comes Buttered Chin /bearded interlocutory
singultus sufferer in very quiet classroom / the velvet ear worm / teenager’s teeth (folded up in a brown or green envelope )/ providing skeleton bones for the osteopath / surgical smile / fragrant bones / a flacon of poison was handed to each solider /
/ knobs in the kitchen / Christians in the kitchen / fat kid salivating at the Kentucky Fried Chicken window / nice little furry killer wolf / that’s a fine looking boob job, Aunt Mary/ poisoned horse / ugly grandma / ‘Daddy Vacuum and the Grandmas’ cassette found in lost luggage / I went charity shop shopping for second-hand cassettes (must be used).. I picked up the following items..'Death of Barry Fingers’* by ‘The Octopus Child’ *this is a concept cassette and ‘Wig on a skeleton’ by he TDK Players’ / were 16 broke chairs in the foreground (mince me a new one) / mincing around Hetherington / the first thing I did when landing on the moon was take a shit where Neil Armstrong planted his flag / USA is poisoned /they don’t make teeth like that anymore / the balloon would not float so we inserted a baby into it /
I’m not embarrassed to tell people that I am a venduese at weekends / he lived his life in horse years / horse on the menu
I tried, in vain, to remember my way back to the space shuttle / graveyard lipstick / Lord, pour cool water over my hot bones Gulliver and I had a great time at the 5th annual ‘Straighten Yer Hair’ festival (no permed hairstyles allowed)
Reformed Chicken Orchestra / we celebrate end of the Perfecto man’s stay/ blowing gently on a boxer’s cauliflower ear
when he is on stage he becomes Million Pounds Man / sexual dunk / every time I see your face I spew up / spice up Sunday
put Christian in a jar/ everybody fell over at same time / electric horse / taught how to dance like a horse
Jokes, Beauty, Shock, Nothingness;- these seem to be the themes that the general public (gen pub) can relate to
I am very experienced in draught-dodging (and giraffe-dodging) / Bo Weevil at Christmas / pocket factory
where is Hooey Heeley? / admiring a fat stripper from afar / revolution or heroin / why did you send a zombie into space?
Decorticating trees passes the time nicely / messed up syndrome kids / I always pick my snout when in the company of visiting Russian supermodels / I will not partake in sexual intercourse tonight, dear / the latest member of WOG (world of gypsies) is selling me junk / tanned animals / American people eating mushrooms, pretending they are vegetables / Inside a bad day
factory line beauties / yes its five boiled onions for you / don’t take it out on the gorilla / teenaged chimps in my bedsit
I tucked a sharkskin into my pyjama pocket (yes, my pyjamas have pockets) / walrus floating in the shallow end
Cardinal Roachford trained belly dancers..did you know that? / pink Irish and the floating dandies /stubble on the stripper’s chin I bled into your cereal bowl / magnanimous in whore house / chosen to be god’s assistant / I was a teenage Yoda
we drilled a hole in the horse’s head and inserted candy drops into it / Latino in sack race / insentient in cinema
is it true that your dad has grown a beard? / rotund stripper + modern seadog./ freaked out by classic movie
I found my latest lover on the factory line that my dad used to work on (before he retired and took to drinking 2 pints of gin a day) / half-eaten haircut / the philtre did not work..she still refuses to kiss my mouth / I fitted the mole hill with solar panels
his pudding basin haircut made him look like that kid I beat up in Grade six / kitchen sink stink / hirsute babies freak me out
I insist that my sibling stand to attention every time I walk into their bedrooms (or any other room they happen to be in which I walk into) / I had better charge up my batteries before sitting down to dinner / perfumed duration / gay in the garage
the Dutch FFAFA / I just realised that the box my dad keeps locked at all time is, in fact, not a box at all.
I have been dating her for 6 years and 3 moths, but she still refuses to kiss me on the mouth / chubby digit voyeur
I inserted my thumb and forefinger into the dog’s snout / uxorious men often keep their wife in steel cages
the humanoid’s cannelure-shaped snout reminded us of 80s KID TV star ‘Flute Snout’ / I need some F Jack
kicked out of bed by head of the Dutch FA / collectable dogs / modern blob / sock with rice (sock filled with rice)
death squad moratorium / killing kid’s TV presenters was a delightful way to spend the day / my perfect day with Ivor Cutler
fat bastard being photographed for the fashion magazine cover / locked out of the titty show / boobs on a horse
is it still illegal to kill humanoids? / analogue devils / we refused to display any sings of obeisance towards the demon
mad house orchestra / African wallpaper museum / detrop teens sitting in corner of hall / shake shake with cobra bones
we re-staged the orgy for the benefit of those who missed it the first time round / Reformed Chicken Orchestra / 10p memories
I felt myself slowly floating above the skyscrapers and the neon signs / scummy men standing near dustbins / policeman dazzled by golden teeth of gangster rapper / let’s get chubby / grinning at the prisoner / heaven still ain't hot enough / damp roots
sanitised version of ‘Death of Hope’ / building a brick wall between you and her / so, when are they going to bring out the salsa?
the supermodel was not impressed by the old ‘balance an acorn on my nose’ trick /attracting ghosts in your flat
the bottom lip of Cassius Clay / Damien Lust’s tortured genitals / bubble peep pet / kitchen sink shark
Contemporary ticklers/ corporeal ghost / I should have sold your soul to highest bidder / Marlboro Baby
they call my man ‘Shuttle Cock Jackson’ / don’t try to run away from brown eyed demon / bite myself on the arse
every school child’s entitled to a free owl sandwich / putty behind the muse’s ear / priest on the moon / factory setting blues
I admire the prodigious work rate of Lionel Blair / Champion’s glance / I am sexually attracted to dart boards
kinky duke on ice ./ stuck in Aberdeen in the 1980s / bootleg heroin / suddenly I could see the kids from Scotland
I failed to make love to her due to an old football injury / dustbin man man / contemporary stinkers / tense hair cut
sound clash teeth / the man who made a living out of having a pointy head / Elvis at Christmas / Elvis at 60 / Elvis at 65
5 monkeys standing in a row, being photographed by Irish tourists / sleeveless shirt-wearing Americans
trade in your dog for one of similar of equal value / I’ve always loved cats with moustaches / BBC sugar glove HC
trade in yer dog for one o’ dem robot cats / filthy fingers of 88 year old man / Barney Rubble conversion / hey, skin head!
Harry Hill encapsulates everything wrong with British society./ Rocky Balboa Orchestra / pencil-thin teeth / vulva supper
the cuckoo that thought it was a duck / house horse / the man they forgot to kill has just died of natural causes
my grandpa always made me practice my karate moves before commencing with dinner / tarts of rock (‘n’ roll) /I am the man you never learned to love / lie down beside my bed and count your teeth/I told my child that concrete fish won’t float / Norfolk is a cess pit/boys with concrete eyelids / I took out my teeth and gave them to my sister/
rolling down the hill with dressed-up zombies (petticoat rot) / the turtle was too heavy to lift / bishop’s moustache
trying to gesticulate to a blind man is rather futile, David (the David in question is fictionalised kung-fu legend David Carradine)
The rest of you guys, lick your hearts out! You'll never make that rarefied plateau / perfumed walrus orchestra
we roped off the place where they had found the dog eggs / I regularly dream of people with plastic faces / fat-faced kids
my dad had a cardboard cut-out face /African robots / we hid our pig eggs behind the theatre curtain / imprisoned egg
my sister’s new boyfriend has a pointy head and a strong liking for mushroom omelettes / are you man enough to be Stooge?
my dad was jealous of my mum’s baboon baby / permanent hair cut / baby Jesus behind the curtain
we accidentally sent the telegram en clair, which indirectly lead to the death of over 10,000 horses / pocket Rasta
the man who ate 24 hamburgers in one sitting (and was actually proud of it) / maybe Jesus was actually blind!
. I was in the pit, the slough of despond. It's just left across the road / smutty orchestra / back yard beauties
yes I’m inside the space shuttle with my new hairstyle / fish, chips and examine / gravy poured all over my lover
an extraordinarily gifted piano-paying chimpanzee has been shot for bush-meat / kiosk orchestra / PG face waste
instead of washing the dishes, I watched ‘The Beast of Yucca Flats’ for the 15th time
we simply laughed off the landslide / corpse wearing makeup-how amusing! / caged pie / the long-lost blind chord
How the Blues should’ve Turned Out. /the show lasted thirteen hours and was comprised entirely of unreleased material
how my dreams may have turned out if I were a girl / street corner orchestra / send Pakistan guru / Stan from Pakistan
my cousin’s debut movie featured an actor dressed in a gorilla suit and what looks almost like a diving helmet /Ghoulies V
the bad drugs reminded them they were a long way from home /. my back garden beard / bearded portent / the all-true tale of the Man Who Ate Shaving Cream (idea burdened) / met Asian girl in lift, fell in love with her..turns out she is on death row
The picture consists mostly of lengthy dialogue sequences concerning the apparent mutation of an astronaut into a monster snipped bits of big sound / hide the picnic…here comes fatty / ..here comes chubby
The film ends with Leonard infiltrating a base, fighting vegetarians with "magic meat" he was given by a Gypsy
Turned on by men in jewellery / his feet were considered the beau ideal of the feet world / the bane of russell dust
the drugs made them believe that they knew the basics of Buddhism / can’t sleep with broken feet / shy muscles
she can’t sleep for fear of Pointy Head Man roaming around the neighbouring forest / bad foot sports club
men with no trace of echo in their voice / I walked the streets with a towel in my back pocket / kids with drunk eyeballs
grallaturical beings wading around the stinking swamps / Graham is crowned king of the night before / 10p haircuts
may be grey bible teeth / scabs on demon / my favourite haircut today /telephone in your dreams
they tried to persuade Drake Floyd to direct the sequel to ‘Enemy inside my head’/ The Singing Forest and Chaos
I forgot to shave off my teeth / who the hell is Vince Offer? / what’s the point of Watford? / heart shriek schmoozer
over over – if you keep repeating this maybe you will begin to convince your parents that your are going to stop doing hard rugs
Luther Van Dross is my role model / forgotten emprise of head of village / that reminds me of the time my boyfriend’s head fell off and toppled into the lap of the marquis / cubist kids / cubist at break of dawn / Gregory gets a haircut / venerable porno stars /Andrew Lloyd Masher / lick your lips before every dinner / midnight at the pig sty / I mainly drink rain water these days
the man who swallowed his own bible / lack of probity among wrestling fraternity / merely acceptable tits / fold over Page 04
I think this is the 5th best haircut I have ever had / report swan pieces / Siamese fingers / butch knobs / decaying poseur
drinking petrol straight out the canister (other eye) / oh god, it’s Jesus Christ II / he used his other eye to look at the birds
I accidentally left my ‘Fatima Mansion’ cassettes in my boyfriend’s VW Golf / pouring sugar over a decaying corpse
sialic substance dripping from the chin of the ambivalent chimpanzee / echo of a petrol ghost / cuckoo kid on the knock knock
have you ever actually seen a pregnant octopus? / bummed in heatwave / silver-haired lover of mine (and yours)
paragraphia sufferer working on the third biggest magazine (in terms of circulation) in USA / children with marble eyeballs
I was bequeathed Roy Kinnear’s swimming goggles and Elizabeth Taylor’s face mask / echo from within the king
no, Malcolm; I am not the son of the man who saved the world / David Queue Hidden Bowie / primordial longing
walkin’ around the town with my Beatles-inspired haircut / too many Scandinavians roaming down 10 o’clock Street
Losing your mind with the King of Fish / Beatles-inspired facial moustache / hob nobbin’ with the goblins / Me jerk spit?
Deborah Grunge promised to show me the tiny fossilized babies / she is gone but I am still in love with Kid Drogue
My grandmother is so tidy she puts newspaper under the cuckoo clock / nothing can beat a good lunch counter lunch at 12.23pm
absonant relationship between bare-knuckle boxer and camp TV host / a pressing need to shave my head and stop buying shit
I ate my sandwiches in the bema whilst being caressed by a young priest / memories of my idyllic childhood in Butcher Holler
we lost our mind in FDR Congo / he spilt evaporated milk all over his lover’s face / kings of supper time club / WW1 super scum
ironic shapes in the sky / Giles lives in the river now / life with my secret African lover/ the return of the Jaded Witch project
the history of sorcery in five easily-digestible parts / a convent of serpent-men enjoying their first tasting session of the day
I just overheard the cast of ‘Ever Decreasing Circles’ discussing the differences between ‘nihilism' and 'existentialism’ in Café Nero. What? / oily gods of Cafeteria Square / staring at god / horse-drawn mattress / Elvis Presley tastes of butter and jam making little wooden effigies of famous sports stars with the women of the tribe / back street legend / leper named Rosie
playing free jazz to an esteemed African priest (or African prince) / handing out candy to a group of deformed sailors
ladies of the crayon /AAA batteries fill my head /sons of gay astronauts / Royal Android Hospital
turned on by the chin beard of Rolf Harris / cheesecake for tea turns me on /the passionate third eye / Jeames carried my limbs
I feel duty-bound to advise Hitler to shave his beard off / hospital rockets (II) / I always ponder what Richey The would do.
jowls on a tramp / deep fry owls / our progeny includes ‘Red Caterpillar’, Teeth of Doom’ and ‘Richard’ / sex with slaves
what did we do to deserve a night out with T B Beats? / digestive disease family fun pack / caged adventurer
Who do you see in Cagliari’s mirror?"), / Crawford’s revenge / packed-out Fun farm / boiled dog on the slate
eating beans for supper whilst listening to Cans of Spaff’s new LP ‘how I learned to eat my food properly’ / Chinese eyebrows Billy has his stash and his face is looking happy / blind man in the whore house / bordello banquet / the Ha Ha Wars
I get all kinds of abstract thoughts when having a poo / the square poo / beautiful landslide / the pawky scholar / kinky bacteria
the professor unlocked the child’s latent memories of UFO abduction / my front tooth feel like god’s own tombstone
I was turned on by her Chinese eyebrows / some gitanos are sexy, some are really rough / sexy women called ‘Ian’
the day I sold my soul to Muddy Waters / creesh-coated breakfasts of the 1970s / glorified hole / curly-haired visitors
descending into a memorable hole / the timbre of my new boyfriend’s voice brought to mind the long-deceased headmaster
you cannot blame Phil Spector for his misfeances..he was instructed what to do by the charming apparition
life of a phone cutter / Christ impressed the locals by performing some miracles and what not / Jumbo’s secrets
confounded by the History Channel / Francophile being beaten up by the French copper / who left the cat in the space shuttle?
it’s Friday night; time to remove the children’s batteries / Family Jagger / Family Jag / Jagger in the family
10 things that remind me of my home town:- ‘eggs being cooked by a portly man with ginger sideburns’, ‘a small loaf of bread in a bakery window being pecked at by over-grown seagulls’, ‘a photo of a magi sitting proudly on his brand new sofa’ ‘a cup of coffee slowly getting cold’, ‘a dead fish being paraded around town by three unruly school children’, a filthy wedding dress lying in a puddle of rainwater’, ‘a rusting shovel propped up against a long-abandoned out-house’ / Bittern’s a slob
we left the baby-blasted mothers on the inch were we discovered them / EBay guns (Tough B.Q.) / lost foal now is lo-fi slob.
Giles is hiding underneath the carcass / The Dismemberment of Giles / a bag of ganja for every year 06 pupil
Carefree bullets (why didn’t you try to stop Superman from flying off with his knickers showing?)
How strange, I ruminated, that whereas once these grand houses were tenanted by a few hundred members of the upper classes for whom formally dressing for dinner was a daily enactment of exclusivity, now every night a few thousand members of the middle classes dress up specially to ape these mores in grand hotels.
we put the chubby kids back were we found them / children with holes in them should not be challenged
my children were disturbed, and at the same time enchanted, by the pallid countenance of Michael Jackson
a century of drum and bass from the factory / we enjoy factory kill / god thrills me every day
what is the odd one out from following list?..’Thriller’, ‘Sgt Pepper’s’, ‘Let it Bleed’ and ‘Take it out and drop it inside the machine’ / shit tastes like strawberries / clockwork father / Kid Chemistry / destroyed your wish list /virgin albulum / I have changed my name from Jeep Euro to Chris Crayon / plastic videos indestructible Christian Vander / .wool cows for Vander
my dad has not played Coltrane’s music./ Christian chemistry / glass top coffin / swam of bricks / direct doodle killer
Egyptian sleep-over / she doodled a rough pic of her killer / back to the egg (shave me now) / I am upset system error
Gentleman’s mess (gentleman’s clutter) / rubescent cheeks of Santa Claus / man, them animals don’t look none too friendly
it is possible to lead a thoroughly normal life whilst wearing an anachronistic hat / Creeping Lord Charles / swinging with Jesus
look at all these sycophantic brain-dead slaves waving their little home-made flags and eating buttered cakes
kids called Graham/ random acts of why (bingo breath) / eating waves
we plied the Czech model with perfume and chocolates but she still would not sign her autograph for us / filthy-arsed bachelors
philogyny is dying:- what shall we do? / did I really just see Jim from Neighbours in ‘Girl with a Dragon Tattoo’
calvity no longer stops one from becoming a movie star /Robin lusts glue / abnormal Norman (glue addict symposium)
I spent Saturday morning reciting ‘Captain Ahab’s ninth dream’ to the little children / Californian blind man in the desert
everyone (inc. small kids) can immediately recognise the countenance of Salvador Dali / day out with Jazz Head (SL Please)
the men who only speak German at meal times / lunching with the diaphanous-skinned teenager / here comes Ol’ Crazy Bones
I spent most of Thursday morning staring at the back of a really tall man’s head / filthy puppets (slag match) / I swapped my hairy baby for a clean-shaven baby / hearing AIDS /
scary reptant apparition at 4.13am (didn’t seem so bad at 11.42 pm) / Lazy Berbatov and the creamy mooneyes (?)
glued-on eyes / Leisure Suite Larry made me feel small (er)/ burying the old geezer’s crazy bones in your mum’s garden
a strange sibilant-like noise was emanating from Sid Viscous as he lay dying in the corner of the snooker hall
Madame’s gravy / the slave child was presented with a family-sized pack of cold meats for his efforts
at the sound of the tin whistle please proceed with the slaughtering / a view of proceedings from behind the feinting couch Adipose men wearing jogging suit bottoms (why do they make them so big?) / bucket of shoes
I am surrounded by people who express themselves with sounds rather than words /I gave the dentist a tug job as he performed dental surgery on my teeth / I took out my teeth and sucked on a rancid lemon for a time / Jewish Harpy Yawn / Hairy Barlow
we have started a club which only deformed kids can join / teenager assaulting a small bird on Christmas day
Dear Modern baby; I want my flags back / was it really necessary to tell everyone that you dreamt of horses?
Cody Jones and the Low Profiles / I refused to look at my wife’s billet doux archive / Allah Pac Man / sweaty machine
you gotta sanguify his forehead before he can join the gang, Jacobs / call of the cauliflower (from behind the settee)
we decided to all blow on our tin whistles at 13.00 exactly / he took out a cannikin off holy water and drank it immediately
I encouraged each of my daughter’s to have lunch with the Croesus / the organism that lived in the tiger’s armpit
no, you cannot have my vile of bile, Mr Christmas / the Christian Pecker / standing in for the pussy / Judge Dread at the controls
I’m only in Hollywood for the flange / I inserted myself into the gaping cavity / ‘Jaws’ without the shark
meeting and greeting nice little babies from Wigan. Lancs / float up here and comb my moustaches / dormant Mormon
My new boyfriend is very nice, with the exception of his graveyard teeth / waving at the pensioners as they float up to heaven aocapetherapy blues / I only do this job because I get to sanguify small animals at night time / walk like Elvis / dead embryo
caged droid (trying saying something with a mouthful of chicken) / European erogenous zone A. / my father on H
H minimal infant / I sniffed the devil’s soles / god is a rake (king of joy) / all the tinned horses / velvet pulse
all them tired horses in the sun, how am I gonna get any work done? / hymn to mystery kid / the greasy beasts/ greased beats
trying to make yourself understood with a mouthful of chicken / death in the candy store / why am I from Europe
‘from the depths of penitence and affliction, please welcome..Jimmy Leisure’ /seaside jazz in B+W
men rifting around like lonesome old cowboys / cowboys + Indians of Norfolk / Lord Charles is creeping up my stair case
Alex Chung put her greasy fingers all over my father’s best chess pieces / clunge banquet / in for the pussy / epidotic mornings
leaving yourself vulnerable to attack from various wild mammals / rival kids had better haircuts /posh lady on the beef wagon
my new girlfriend looks like Walter Matthau / childish handjob / a woman’s pudenda fascinates me to an absurd degree
I smacked my rival’s self-satisfied countenance and it made me feel so good / inspired by David Bowie’s moustache
the mammal looked utterly resplendent in his new boots ‘n’ panties / the durable life of Leather Kid
I folded my arms like a doorman and waited impatiently for the errant bachelor / my much-venerated boyfriend of 1986
if you enjoy petting small mammals, you will love this… / turned on by the trappings of fame / normal traffic curtains
trapped on an industrial estate with just a young bright Asian for company / Moomins Union / discombobulate the orphans
homunculus squaring up to 6ft 7 Russian / enuresis stopped him from travelling on The Greyhound / turned on by robot girl
chunkier tears is not necessarily an indication of greater sorrow / riding a donkey in a shopping mall car park / public barf
I am simply not Jesus Christ / ex German pole-vaulter marks the spot / voodoo hotline / Ghandi’s got cancer / Jazz supper
I coated my moustache in sugar and waited for Harry Belafonte / the modern puzzle / gay men in working men’s northern pubs
I walked into an Ethiopian singer’s dressing room and saw a small man (who was not an Egyptian) wearing a cowboy hat cowboy’s eyelids / gorgeous girls in African theatre /why am i compeleled to kiss you, sweet Nigella / voice of the meat calling me / I doubt the veracity of ‘Jandek’s New Testament’ / chapter 3 needed fleshing out with more kinky characters and dog swapping /
I tried to convince my colleagues that Zane Grey was my real father / caught naked in a silver spider web / Ecuadorian hand job
covenant of Rainbow Children / I have never seen a day-glo bitch like u B4 / glass of sherry for Sure Finger Simmonds
Alembic curtain parting teenage daydreamer / the misery of love (afternoon misery) / bronzed octogenarians on holiday
men called Trevor riding their bikes at the weekend / Pat erred away from the bruised sky / little pieces of sex
coma-induced hallucinations added to twisted minds of Coconut Kids /life of a dug-up corpse
he took off the top of his head, took out his brain, and replaced it with a coconut / top-level babes
I got stuck in traffic for several days; and I got most of my best ideas during this period
Moomin psychology / I thought I had remembered to wipe the caramel from my top lip..but I hadn’t
I was very upset that my brother decided to embrace the zoo world view /this goat needs more salt, daddy
kinky catchment area / 90% of the village children had pudding basin haircuts / brother of the walrus
the humanoid’s voice reminded me of that clicking sound that I used to hear in my head when I was a small child
egalitarian fist fights always make me feel emotional / caged masses baying for sweets / childish eyebrows
ignored by no one here (how long have you been twinned with Dortmund?)
the father encouraged his children to lay on the front lawn in a cruciform pose whenever anyone walked past
thanks RB(IQML) 4 allowing us to ogle Kylie Minge / breakfast before supper, Nigel!!
Occidental men often wear moustaches / Kylie Minogue is not from Australia / sleep alone with all your friends
I am jealous of David Bowie’s moustache and earrings / the cardboard baby (sleep heavy)
wearing Kylie Minogue face masks to the after-dinner party / Germanic time-limits / a machine called Mary
please please do not incommode the king / stabbing an analgesia sufferer reputedly with a sharp knife
I like the way some people spend most of their life pretending to be underground rats / kids brought up on bargain garbage
my brother created a rush endemic (little r) / spaceman called Clive preparing himself for Life on Mars (Big L – not DT)
we were invited to go and see some pub rock..we were not expecting to see a pub rock / jealous of cry baby
I left my only copy of ‘Scorpion and Felix’ on the meat wagon / I find it hard to express in words how much I hate you
the editor of ‘Zoo’ magazine turned out to be a polymath of the highest order / king of Christmas (I deleted all your files) Benjamin Jung is addicted to salad / seared by demon’s finger tips / JSBE reunion dinner (am I absurd?)
we filled the cavities with butter and then made our way to Kobe Island / I feel compelled to follow the man dressed as a bunny rabbit around the school playground / playground dad / dead in the playground / cleaned my teeth with fish paste
To the best of my knowledge, they're suits made out of pop cans and hair / too intelligent to be brave / song sewer I think so?
Voot dinner for men in suits (reunion number 2) / electric bones / buzzing like a spaceman / shield your gums from the rain
my chapped lips were a result of me spending too much time on the Moon / Wilson Pickett looks like my dad
my sister suggested I write a story focusing on ‘Rough Ian’ / those graveyard chimps / taking pink men to the whale opera/ dead remainder/
Thrown out for refusing to smoke hashish / we retrieved the ruined soft toys from the man-made swamp
I have a weakness for men dressed up as cats or lions / we laid down on the palliasse and dreamt of surgery
life with the Slow-Worm / a fear of life and an embracing of death / the all-true tale of the necrophobic undertaker
my dad the Spaniard / every time he finagles, we admire him a little less / butcher at leisure / butch leisure / you can talk to him, but the death of Marilyn Monroe is off-limits/ vegetating in the meat factory /chap’s lips / I parked my car in your drive way and touched your smooth hair / defunct butcher/ the day I split from ‘King of Charcoal’ / I found ‘The Journal of a Plague Year’ to be a good source of baby names / we cannot give you onions, so you may as well try somewhere else / painted on sailor’s moustache / teaching a cuckoo to talk gibberish /
addicted to the knife and fork / ‘Dead Mattress’ were my 66th favourite honey muscle jazz group
eel nax GNS r ? (heavy petting is still not admissible) / Blind Island / I forgot to tell you that I am now a king/ I hunted for my real father but all I found were various men who purported to be my father, but clearly were not / I fished out the plastic crown and placed it on my sunburnt head /
we filled the deep hole with a ton or so of dead human bones / I’m in love with a girl who smokes cigars
I like to see a sexy foxy chic enjoying a big cigar at lunch time / Voot dinner + dance (you can’t have one without the other)
my lover arrived on the back of a gorgeous puncheon / eclipsed by Radar Children / jazz on radar / Clinic beardy terror LP
the actor was envious of the emotional power generated by the cry baby / fist clinic / modern spastic / spider we lost it
why did I remove my teeth for you? / the sweaty cowboy / the day I lost my sleeping head / bogey in blood bath
Grandma is polishing her teeth again / 12.32 – I was lost behind the curtains / hammering the cocks/ pops in the jungle
the dead fake tale of Swamp King / I got caught in the Spider King’s web / chubby children make me smile
I failed to make the distinction between some and none / smegma-coated bone / hog bones of backwater beauty
where or who is Flour Mouse / with that newborn beep shit / back home with the gone black haired beauty / pea bag instructions death in the body bag / fallen horse / we are mauve media – opera rejects / I taught the gorilla how to hold his flute correctly
Norfolk smile (Pat Nook chic) / puerile prose of the 14 year old bon savant / beautiful terror / stickle brick Christmas Stickleback’s Christmas / does the janitor understand where we’re going with this? / life in the sook kitchen
I probably did kill my Chinese landlady / Japanese error at Christmas (double breasted men) / college tits / trophy cabinet tits / hard-on for Africa /
and now I will show you some video footage of dead end dogs from circs. 1932 / beautiful priest / Art smut psychology
massaged by a Chinese lady on Christmas eve / dead clown on the side of the A17 / King Sock Puppet / deaf at breakfast
welter weight sharing a bed with the mendicant / shy sports man sitting alone in the locker room / a life without onions
guided by the sunburnt hand of the man / lickerish old men on underground former Soviet Union trains / trained mind of monkey
when did it become fashionable to live on the Moon? / the make-believe dog that lives in most of the children’s minds
isn’t Linford Christie good at running! / enjoying beaux arts in the dingiest caboose in the country / the million dollar moustache
the pub was full of Argentina men with perms / gorilla sharing a bath tub with a sexy girl / Lexus and the Eel Baby
I quickly became addicted to women’s baseball / African jazz festival heat wave melting bass players / that tight-fitting tank top looks really good on you, Joseph / Christ in a tank-top / Pretty Gordon and the marching zombies /fell in love with an Elizabethan witch doctor / tickled by the worm / I’m too pretty for jail
Eugene and Daniel looking for a meaning to their fragile existence / eyeballs from an octopus / juicy hand gestures
perfumed troll / I’m too ugly for heaven / shaven undercarriages of the netball squad
I am afflicted by memories of the kids who live in trees (with their spooky big owls and little pointy beaks)
finally, I am free to listen to jazz in my silk pyjamas / finally, I am free to eat sausages with my hands / riverboat Rambo
the last days of the first king of Ju Ju Island / eating pancakes on the moon / Howlin’ Wolf and the boys from the pool hall
me and deus conquer the New Worlds / hippo photographed with entry-level eyes / the return of cabbage
exfiltrate from country FKA ‘Bug Boy Island’ / Special K is my fave / ring of demons / anguine-looking kids in US of A
looking at the neolith through long-forgotten eyes / chomping on future / a lot of crap gets written about jungle traffic king
the child who lived in an abandoned Soviet space shuttle / tickled in the disco / business class cad / Blind Chicken Orchestra
cats that don’t mean to say ‘please’ and or ‘thank you mister’ / Spanish distractions (nightingale in Argos)/we covered his face in correction fluid (white) so it looked like the moon / I perfumed the gravy before dinner / museum of lost children / cat in human skin /
who cares if you shave off your eyebrows on Christmas day / to gain attention the teenager took off his face
Beaker’s peace (Beaker found peace) / Island of Shaved Men / Island of Saved Men / hitting the 1960s hard
we helped launch the bizarre career of Jared Unger / ‘The Rape of the Vampire’.
Steve McQueen was my third favourite black actor – know what I mean (?) / jazz oddities in my collection
robot children creep me out / bucket o’ memories / thin ladies eating fashionable salads on the moon / moon gums
my love for violence and destruction is at a similar level to Woody Allen’s love for jazz and steamed pudding / banal sex putting the banal back into anal sex / I licked your lips before breakfast / coming home rap
putting up with dogs from Washington / administering clown make up to a young male gitano / diseased star sign.
Having read this I suspect the whole thing was probably a lie.
I lye awake and contemplate why daddy wouldn’t let me shoot his gun / everything the teen says must be taken cum grano salis
no, papa was not actually a Rolling Stone (that was Johnny Jagger’s papa) / claudicating sportsmen
How to Clean a Swimming Pool With a Dead Animal in It / the hazards of beating yourself over the head with an iron stick
I was approached in the street by a tall top-hat wearing popinjay / men wearing perms are not to be admitted into the Jazz Club
’they don’t make spaceships like that anymore’ remarked the grizzled spaceman / Jewish cha cha / I heard a rumour that they found Jesus on the moon / have you heard how Mars has become really over-crowed? / shrimp on the window sill/ I put on my mask and slipped out of the back window / how do you express your black self/ a list of the plus points of being on death row
let’s all wave at Gordon to make him feel welcome / men who wear bottom hats to funerals /happy owl king hour
Jack is happy; he has his peanut gun and it is Saturday not Monday / free to kill whichever animals you want to
the fear of dead animals / I'm Sorry, ChaCha can't conjure up imaginary animals / Why do Dogs Roll in Dead Animals?
a visit from Dracula / shadows in the sand / we decided to cut all ties with the Miracle Kids / son of Chaka
this is not a reference to the dead imprint / I want to lie down on a bed of industrial nails / Johan picking up transvestites on 5th
showing pictures of ugly spacemen to 3rd grade kids / little fat sailor on the TV /we encouraged Phill Collins to have a face transplant/ I’m not too little to kick your feet / / basin-dwelling cowboys + astronauts
I found my best friend in a crumpled cream suit on Dead Petrol Island/Jackie Stallone at Christmas / if you have to fear someone , it might as well be the Reaper / I forgot where I left the chutney (momma, don’t get mad at me) / childish faces being pulled in the direction of the pipe-smoker /
it is obviously too early for Jazz Dragon / chunky kids on the basketball court / logged off for Xmas
I’m the dog that taught you how to play the piano / metaphysical longing / don’t do the dog tonight honey
I never met a finger puppet I didn’t like / I never met a puppet I felt I could properly dominate
the story reached its dénouement, but the child was unsatisfied and wanted more- so I told him the mythical tale of the ‘War of the Granddads’ / computerised faggot / (cuntbuzzard) Corpulent Phil is still the biggest man in New South Wales
I struggled to grasp the concept of the tenth man / hand-drawn pic of Giles Belter / kids eating up the analects
arboraceous things in pseudo gardens of Mars / cherry hooker / the pastiche obviated the need for suntan lotion
come over here calvity man and let me kiss your head for good luck / not enough mermen in the sea
having tea and cake with the puppet master general / why can’t I tell myself I’m wrong, so wrong so wrong
his stories always make me feel nostalgic for Hoboken, New Jersey / ‘Homey’ cried the dying Alsatian / gorilla triplicate
it took me nearly an hour to reapply my moustache / deformed sexy supermodel / we live are not lovers, we just like to do it
my father’s new blues LP immediately became a succès de scandale / ‘give more time to baby boomers’
we filled the bully’s holdall with ordure and skeleton bones / sacks of liquor/Home Boy’s moustache (AKA Homey’s moustache) / I took out a DVD of my girlfriend’s debut movie and showed it to my family (which was a mistake) /
Why does Jeff Buzzard find it necessary to accentuate his hillbilly persona by chewing on ‘bacca? / chocolate runway
he elucidated his reasons for leaving my wife, but still I was angry with him / carry off the underground shirt (dirt memorial)
criminals wearing lipstick and baby boys with very deep voices / I don’t smoke these things anymore, Weasel Jones
we daubed the phrase ‘Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel’ onto the school hall wall
my granddad was confused to find three used ‘Pere Ubu’ cassettes in his Xmas stocking (he is not a fan of post-punk music) Clive James is not from Australia / crispy puppy / Adam’s boring moustaches / au corant with contemporary wrestling holds
my grandpa insisted we listen to his ‘Throbbing Gristle’ cassettes whilst driving to Peru / GI Jones and I smoking good stuff
the school master lost his air of authority when we spotted him eating crumbs off the floor / men with beards with brains
went to Bolivia with magazine centrefold model / centre-parted hairstyles of the 18th century / dead man’s axiom
festinate your toilet, it’s time for work!! / the joy of being a porn mag centre-fold model / Bobby Maureen was my man
trying on a cowboy hat made me feel confident about myself . / I myself am a slag / no more solid-gold gangsters anymore
the dacha was a dump. But we moved in regardless (Russian smiles) / beautiful gash / I prefer slags, actually
I tried to make friends with ‘Janice Shag’ , but was rejected for not being a member of the ‘YBA’
urban cats wear pseudo leather jackets / ling of Cathay my pal my lover / Jagger the slag / the return of the 90s/ salt, sweat and breaded cod /
it was wrong to assume that Young British Artists wouldn’t want to join me in a game of hand-ball / hands to balls in London
I can’t digest your face this morning / the morning grit on subway / is London actually a city?
slapped in the face by a 38 year old Young British Artists / most Young British Artist’s are actually old.
Donald Sutherland taught me how to concentrate on nudes on the subway / hacker death march 2
the lack of Hebrews is a worry / constantly happy children / p Prince of Teeth / dead plastic baby / disabused of any notion that you might be in love with your wife / you and your wife just don’t fit / I gobbed at the Sex Pistols / Sex Pistols covering Jandek at my dream summer festival / I took my ‘Red Crayola’ cassette and threw it out of the car window as I was jealous and needed a way to vent my anger / my stomach feels like I am in love / I taped myself saying’ I love you, sweet Jospehine’ / I killed everyone who had ever asked me out / eager to please Plastic Child / I am not walking backwards /
the porn theatre was rather crowded so we decided to come back later
middle consumer death
(name deleted at request of editor) wreathed in a sort of cosmic diffidence which – with the curse of hindsight – can be seen as foreshadowing his subsequent suicide / I dream in French
the simple joy of eating cucumbers on a sunny day / Ethel lives alone with her vast collection of porcelain monkeys / casino feet
my wife refused to let me name our daughter ‘Ann X’ / in honour of the last great speed freak to live on Shearer Island
hide the vinegar from the old German / heterosexual banquet / governed by the daydreamers / delving in to Thomas’ cuckoo sack
Memories of gorgeous subordination (Queen Hades) / chutney-coated daydreamers in pickle factory / bitch with a knob
wishing Boss Hogg would stay for dinner / we coated the corpse in talcum powder to make it smell slightly less unpleasant
I told my sons and daughters to embrace the coming rains / fallen by the 8.8 / slags of children of slags / rivet in your head
it was meant to be a small A (no, it was not) / calypso banquet / here comes ol’ Turkey Tits / ashamed of my moustache
Uncle Slag was the new incumbent Mephistophelian antihero of my mid-afternoon daydreamin’ (I AM slag chops)
make love on Xmas day / greasy banquet / the financial expert is a small bone on the inside of a turkey / tits on the man
we enticed our fathers into our homes with the promise of copious jars of watered-down ale ./ big man with kid-sized eyelids
the barber rushed all his haircuts cos he wanted to get home for the football (Jamaica vs Haiti) / tiny corpse in my reticule
my baby brother found a used shot gun down the back of the sofa / drinking sweet teas with the African undertaker
slightly unpleasant clowns / my new boyfriend clad himself in ‘River Island’ gear and went out on ‘the pull’
we daubed the maxim ‘patriotism is dead’ on the school yard walls / the butcher was very proud of his new apron
I filled my pockets with Tesco vouchers and headed for the shopping centre / birds from abroad click click / I’m glad I’m not posh ebcuase I detest cucumber sandwiches (and in-breeding) / the flower of my anus opened up and let you come inside /
Putting up with Kate (butcher’s girlfriend) / beheaded pop star on beach in Plymouth / Christmas penis / life and times of carry bag man/ wheel barrow baby / The Royal Wedding made me feel queasy / the Koran is my 67th favourite religious book, Joe / hey Joe, smoke crack and you will feel bad for a long long time../no talk of sperm at the dinner table please, dear / spunk on my teeth / spaceman of the year space lady and me / ..it was an error to leave Queen Charles in charge / disabled pople in the Peak District / my husband left me with three kids and a broken neck / specialised spasm / why kill the ugly flowers of pop music? (there are worse people) / last time I saw him he was dressed as if ready to go on a hunt in Safeway / the taste of blood on your lips reminded you you were still human / trying to climb up a tree without the aid of branches / kiosk opera / duck’s tears /
he meticulously sharpened the knife which would lead us to glory /broken toy bones / the mythical threshold/teenaged honey moon / I counted myself out of the ring last night /
the carefree amble leads us to the long-lost bones of Karen Anker / I took my time choosing a new cowboy hat (southern prince)
cambist sipping on a club soda and feeling nervous about his up-coming tryst with the new baby geniuses
I wrapped the 36 inch penis around my neck and sanguified my forehead before setting down to a luxurious breakfast
flocking to see the sheep that looks like Jesus / bent butcher / butcher in paradise / browsing the eyelid catalogue
the smell of authentic gravy always makes me nostalgic for family home / a list of people who freak me out
the authentic smell of gravy wafted through the cottage window / we opened the door to find an array of decaying slot machines and abandoned weapons / I need to surround myself with effete gents and charming old people / circle of freaks
teaching kids how to make bombs is not a morally correct thing to do, Albert / abnormal slot machines
the sight of man making his own breakfast always makes me melancholy / rancid daydreams / sweet taste of death of killer
flocking to see the King Kong-shaped turnips /melancholy honeymoon / Del Marques lives in the attic with the bones
I would not marry a woman whose favourite actor was Charles Dance / isn’t Charles a good name for a porn star?
Winston is now safely ensconced on the moon / glass of chasse finished the evening off very nicely / modern puff
rapidly learning how to talk backwards whilst trying not to fall off the back of the onion wagon / sanguine shed
creamy + uncut (jus’ how I likes it) / filthy gravy / two weeks worth of shit (another BTW thing) / promising puff (promo actor)
you don’t have to be a blockhead to work here, put it certainly helps / a weeks worth of blood ‘n’ guts is enough for any man
the butcher could not concentrate on his meat chopping as he had a fervent desire to micturate / fat hands of butcher
look at the size of his junk mamma!! / Graveyard champs / we bit into the mildew-covered sandwich and promptly chucked up
men sniffing nosegays in Northern working-men’s clubs / monochrome homosexual / W1:- shot down by sizeable Norman
the old coffee cup was filled with coagulated blood and tiny green crystals / one free bag of body parts with every purchase
after 11 days the body will start to emit little tiny emerald crystals / 83 year old men wearing tight shorts / Indian in short pants
I sometimes lament the fact that I inherited my great uncle’s Indian sweet shop / selling knock-off tobacco to midgets
I gave my VHS copy of ‘Mad Max 2’ to the bronzed octagenrian / so mamma. are all of my memories of Kingston Pike fake?
one hand is full of candy and one hand is full of bullets..which one will u choose? / come on mamma, tell me..what day is it?
I love your beautiful insides / mesmerised by the refulgent android / Cuban shampoo / depression era sluts / punks of the 50s
I stroked my beard in a ponderous fashion as I tried to choose between the red head and the Arab / country crips / bucolic killers
it depends on who is drinking the milk / doxy’s wink / fashionable president / central fudge / most politicians have bad hair
boys from Sparks showed us the way home / who cared for map baby? / Roland’s new socks / the day I grew a moustache
oh what lazy dogs we are! / tawny trousers are back out, Keith / the minute detail on a baby’s hand/oh what lazy dogs you are (you Slovakians) / Slovakian dream boat / butcher’s pipes /drugged cabbage patch / Kill Ugly/ my greasy uncle is coming for dinner / don’t forget to wipe your toes on the way out of the factory / I sniffed my fingers and was reminded of you (I had just wiped my arse) /
why did most of the war babies come out chubby? / lactose-intolerant milkmen (sitting around drinking soya milk products)
Baby Marsden and the Snake Projectors / he hung dried-out elephant tonsils above his bed / soul chasers of year 2000
the intense glare of Phil Spector just before he shot up that stuffed owl / mendicant was king for day / hollow soul of TV hero
Mr Whippy whooped my ass/ my granddad lives in a caravan and he smells stale (and of stale) / we love to build walls
I turned down a date with Tinita Tikarim, because I thought she was blind / blind mathematicians in McDonalds.
Billy Joe wears an ass hole tag / did the poison do that to Sizeable Norman? / bitten by a snake on Christmas day
his flagrant obeisance in the school room made him feel thoroughly ashamed of himself / beast on radar
male calvity turns me on / imprisoned for calling the tsar a ‘son of a butcher’ / those god-awful trolls
rope edit -puppet show junky – quoting the bible at 3.45am on a rainy Sunday morning / son of tsar / blood of a poet
I often wonder what Charles Chaplin and Salvador Dali chatted about / learning how to piss standing up
Don’t count me; I’m not there / smothered with a soft animal / Q:- how many Smurfs can you fit up your ass?
we neglected to inform the troglodytes about the arrival of the cave babies / Spanish tits / carbolic opera / dead Donald Duck
I ensure that I keep myself au courant with modern developments in android manufacture / egalitarian opera
butcher in a helicopter / dun coloured men dunked before bed time / Texan reflexes / deer eerie and the dope fiend
he cleaved off the boss' head to stop him from harping on anymore than was necessary/soft-core animalistic jazz solo / perfumed in bed/nice to have finally made your acquaintance, Merman / Sid James was born in Nigeria (to Jewish parents)/
nice to have you on board, Merman / valedictory hand-gestures have not changed for over 173 years / Elizabethan water sports
the 100-year old donna (g) / Australia is 52 per cent kangaroo bones / babe on my toilet seat
the more The Bible is preached to me, the less inclined I am to believe in it (I am quoting Dog Raspberry here, folks)
x rayed dreams / I mainly dream in blue and green / smoker’s trough / the lubricated army / swollen face of Bunny Boiler
I was able to positively identify Christ as, when I was a lad, I carried a small drawing of him in my wallet / gut snake blues
Getting eaten by zombie was made more bearable by hearing dulcet tones of nearby operetta performer / bearded shoulders / a noble sin, Peach Geldof / Peaches Geldof taught me how to enjoy American sports / why not sink your teeth into a bit of meat / my trousers are made of cobra skin / the fifth astronaut felt like a 'spare part’ / gloves off in the morning (at the breakfast table) / tableau of the hanging / I fetched myself home (wolf in trousers) /
we spent most of the summer admiring Richard’s white teeth / memory of the dead horse/ sweet ordure / fields of urine
the glaucous cheeks of man pulled out of ocean / cosier dead end jobs / the mere memory of the heat wave of ’81 made me sweat
80s laughs / I never trust men with elongated noses and red beards / Kurt Cobain is alive and is living in my block
my life in the pit of silence / if you want to drink blood, it is ok with me / my life in the ghost bushes
there is me in my onion soup / my uncle likes to shave animals in the night / surreptitious shave
here is my new idea – eye on the Innocent X / fashionable x taken away from Jug Baby
postcards from Larry Mullen / U2 are my 1756th favourite band from Ireland / the jazz infant
support your fallen comrades by wearing too much make-up / Madonna’s face-mask / did you know that Michael Jackson always carries a bag containing rich tea biscuits and out-of-date train time tables / Cold Shower presents ‘Get Your Hat On’
Yes Leonard, you can come down to the sex show immediately / I hid the rare stamps in my son’s ‘Green Day’ cassette box
farded policeman (ponce on the beat) ANA – how can you live like this? – Bethlehem Poetry Club / addicted to erotic fiction
pumped up like that bloke from the local fitness centre / calling card of a Croesus / turned on at Muscle Show
I was strongly encouraged to stop reading aloud from chapter 07 of ‘sins of freedom’ / look at the sun; why is it blue?
NISA (how can you live like that?) / ankle-level rats (spoilt sweets) / New Indian Sweet Association
the cream of the future / I AM NASA / the absurd death of Tall Paul / it’s not easy to spin records, Carl Cocks
Merman played solo on his rusty jazz trombone / ‘Kaged Killer’ / legend of the Jazz Fox/ punk called Giles / pumped up like a bloke / my virgin wife / it’s not easy being a punk when your name is Giles / 1 in 3 men are called Kevin /
Drip blimp (1. R Dogs theme 2. random pop) / caged French boxers / blind man’s inducement
please remember to disguise your countenance before entering the house of ill repute
…and then we noticed that the android was weeping actual tears / we piped discordant jungle into the classroom
Rod Hull was never very good with his fists / boiled Indian sweets are not really perceived as a treat anymore
I left All Saints pub by the back door and went and saved my sweet heart from the wrestlers / can you remind me again how many queens there are in ‘Take That’ / ‘take that’ said the angry bar man as he slapped my robust cheeks / pretty ninja
a pensive glance towards the filth-covered mendicant / nice arrival suck boiled sweets / pieces of Jesus / fat backdrop
the headmaster was unaware that I was sucking on two boiled sweets / three fingers held aloft at Gamma Skool
I felt like an adult when I was given a small glass of liquor instead of the regulation boiled Indian sweet
I killed the tsar and was rewarded for my efforts with a fruit basket and a voucher for pizza café
Administering torture always leaves me with a sickly sweet yet metallic kind of taste in my mouth / African frump
hold on tight to your memory of Fish Kid / I will never lose sight of my granddad’s jazz trunk / the rainbow was the father
list of tasks 1. sweep the charnel house floor 2. pick up saw dust and place in hamster cage 3. throw away all of your old rags and filthy hair brushes / a comprehensive list of all the nanny’s I have helped across the busy road
My daddy tried to convince me that Elvis was black / I gotta get out of Hades / funky walnut
…men trying to fit their hands into children’s gloves / for my next trick I will remove my assistant’s gorgeous face
I turn off the incessant car alarm which has been ringing for over 3 weeks / my penis is not suitable for this, David
fall down at sight of XRS singer song writer (unusual-looking baby being paraded around the city centre)
he didn’t get his fair share of sanity / sanity towel (maybe it’s the Muslim sector) / carefree brushing of curly hair
a goat staring into an empty cereal bowl / W1:- cowboy shampoo / the historical sex show / action racket kink / confirmation that this video contains footage of the creepy baby / sucking on a Thursday morning/ancient day out / sometimes my wrist eel itchy in the morning/
I chatted to some geezers on the train. Among the topics we discussed were; ‘football’, ‘birds’, ‘work’, ‘romantic poetry of late-15th cent. Florence / cowboy on the treadmill / football, birds and buggerings (gimme what I came for)
I sat on top of the moon waiting for the Sunshine Kids to sell me their spacesuits (TOR)
drawing the flat-skinned, toothless, mucus-covered new-born with a pencil that Salvador Darjeeling gave to me when I was 5 yrs old / hair-covered mushrooms (edict of the Fungi Gods) / 91 per cent of library books smell funny / ordure on the caravan wheel
the TV never told us that the surface of the moon smelt like rancid cheese / dunked under the water by X-king Doom (E-)
we wrapped the baby snake in an old towel to protect him from the elements / I don’t give a shit about baby Max
men with dark stubble sitting in dingy pubs drinking strong beer / hardened drinkers petting their tiny baby owls
Conan the Barbarian’s kid sister came to stay for a week or two / the fidgeting Mandy / the glorious head shot
the books never told us that the surface of the moon was littered with small rock sculptress / fraggle menu
Is it true that you spent last month writing down your memories of the Village of the Dammed? If so, I would be delighted if you could share these with me. You will find me at the Café Rouge (Red Café) on Norfolk Street every day at 11.00am. Please bring with that gorgeous girlfriend of yours along with you; I would love to discuss make-up and dresses with her. / American eyes or daughters of tumbleweed / turnstile tears / ductile synergy
only my fifth cousin knows the true identity of the puppet master / I took the betting slip from the infant’s corduroy jacket
sad clowns make me feel uncomfortable / uncomfortable in the factory jungles / god’s gift to bare knuckle boxing
swollen smiles of the uncomfortable jungle dwellers / ambitious corpse / guilty flowers in arsehole / sizeable arsehole
picked up a copy of ‘I Know the Horse’ by Janet Jack Scum / creeping around the abattoir with a torch and a fork
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