Rejecting the Internet (in 1957)

Eat Fruit

                                                                         dogstick

Well...

Opera Bong
The Russian Beatles

Cupping the balls of God

Changing into funny face

Butter-coated bullets

Sexy Mormon

(gorilla fingers)

Seaman sock

Sock full o’ seaman

Me and my wife smoking Cuban cigars on the way home from the water torture exhibition

submerged devils

Thigh drum

Harassed by sea fairy

The hovering missionaries

Roxanne’s chubby middle finger

Fat lips smeared in mayo

Diseased computer

Do ghosts have bones?

Sexy chuckle

Zoo feast

Pro rasta

Electronic wolf

Creamy weapon

Nesting with the trannies

Sleep-eyed jesus

Toothy skeleton
the milk worm

Guns on the dining room table

Captain Frog-Gut

Crazy in love with the Benjamin sisters

Who loves the capet ducks?

Cowboy puttie

The archaic replicant

His face reminded me of the desert

Permanent afro

Writing minimalist poetry on the back of an orphan’s log book

Bungalow fudge

Mouthful of kippers

Andrex death

Gorgeous jesus music
hoss spasm

ancient wank

Spicy corpse

Three pence hand job

Jazz bladder

Raising hell with Mr Marble

The day I discovered a coke-addled goblin in my back lounge

Mustard-covered road maps

Trucker’s paradise

Strangle the onion

I want to sex up your gravy

Merman memories

Euston lip

If we still feel kinky this time next week..

The jazz vulture

Pissed in the heatwave

Goblin on the corner

Snogging the belial

Moustaches of Hollywood

Textbook human

Olympic wet dreams

Garnished with offal

Christian Butterfly

Baby’s tariff

Drag queen of secondary modern

Puff finger

angelic bongo

Congo mash

The sunny thumbs

Buffet gloves

The actors were boring so we just filmed the audience

The Bruce Forsyth saga

His fist was made of plastic

Cerebral bicycle

Lipstick on a corpse

Chimp biscuit

Medi-eval wheels

Fingers on a ghost

In love with the mendicant

Pork supper

Wobbly manure

BB King Gun

chimp's wish list
Too many microphones

Smoking butterfly dust

History of the water balloon

Dairy moustache

Goin down into the pits of hell with a bag of porno mags and a can of condensed milk

We gave her a box and she filled it with chicken bones

The fried chicken tatsed much better after a bout of anal sex

Gorilla in my bath tub

(shit twitter)

See Pinetop spit blood

Can of monkey brains

What did she say? (it was 'can I borrow some specimens?')

Failure of the dead

Teenage Congo

Juicy radiation

Lesbian in the time machine

A left hand job is usually superior

Two and half babies

The electric priest

Mormon puppet theatre

questionable breath

No Emperor Burger for me, thanks

Danish stubble

Inside the mind of a deformed clown
Talcum powder-coated rainbow

Ghost in the back garden

Jolly corpse

Sniff the dash board

Scattered gums

Rubbing yerself up against Pacman's stubble

Cowboy’s eyelids

She wrapped clingfilm around her face and then covered her breasts in chutney

Kidney statue

Statues of famous otters

Chubster butter

Getting high on ghost breath

Acid picnic

Chubby pussy

Mobile slaughter house

Puff royalty

We took out cold meats and layed them out on the floor (to be inspected at 3.30 pm by the man with the biblical moustache)

Signature pigs

The buggery storm

Vampire in the heatwave

King of the Ozone Layer

Forest in your back yard

I knew the day would come when you would suck my thumb

I look in your eyes and I see the devil I used to know

Smog is great!

toilet vultures

man of the mouth

so this geezer in a fackin’ black ‘elmet comes up to me and says ‘Luke, I’m your fackin’ father’

Sleep dep. Is our ‘drug’

The startled monk

Creative rap

Building the hedgehogs up over the course of 2 days

Microblind puff dragons
shylock eating porridge at 3am

Grinning like Andi

Bibile crutch

Rejecting the internet
Bible Leak
Famous Blonde Android

Gulping the blood of Him

Harvest crip

chimp with a Human nose

little plastic kid follows me around (all the time)
pepper pot porno

Creamy fingers

Circling Kong

Marxist preachers and tea time teachers (I love you)

Forgotten passages of the well-remembered bible

Rubber tummy

Leaching the prince

The illegal gospel

Albatross kings

Mental blister

Vulgar butter

Rotten goblin

Petting sausage

Boxed skeleton

Her golden egg was shining in the light of the moon

Werewolf with too many fingers

Killer benath the sea

King Wiltord and the frog-faced enemy

Enema of the Gods

Huge organ

Wouldn’t you miss me if you escaped?

The jealous sandwich filling

Breaking up with the vulture

Lonely hamburger

List of chickens I would love to eat

They wrapped the champion in bear fur and cling film

Inherited by Chubby Monster

Ashtray baby

Ain’t no forks in the Chinese restaurant

Woodpecker in my glovebox

Reliable chutney

Garlic helicopter

Hurricane Dickens

Karate bingo

Inside a massive boy’s imagination

Puss puss key hole surgery

Little white tonsils

Number 00- A homeless man with a beautiful operatic voice singing the word "bacteria" in an empty dumpster in Chinatown.

Better than butter:- the last boy to leave the christmas party

It don’t matter if you’re a garlic-fearing vampire, you can still enjoy my latest recipe

Feathered pistol

Rasping like that guy called Julia

Men named Eddie leaving the ‘Hospital Horse’

Abandoned jungle outfits

Can dead people dream?

The golden android that preferred coffee to motor oil

We are the sun children and we will sleep in the morning

Gorilla grinning with big tombstone- like yellow teeth

He spent 200 australian dollars on a set of teeth which once belonged to Sidney Poitier

She spent all of her time wishing she was The Devil

5 cents is enough to bring back Holy Gordon

The biggest sock we got

Movies made in the morning tend to be better

Kip Sweetwater and the bitter belly pork chefs

Drunk on the future

Blank buildings of new worlds.

Devils of Honky Tonk Parade

Cupid’s wet dreams

dreaming of a bout of autodidactic surgery

Avuncular fish heads / warped heads get together

my kind of fish

…when superman were shy

It’s the blimp it’s the blimp (call momma)

German and Russian men talking about clouds

Coughing up moon dust

In love with a Russian street performer

Missing the poison

Definition of a (deleted by drug user)- A man who can play the accordion, but doesn't

This entry was thought up by the man that never tried used water

If we sink further we may as well start eating biscuits again

We left the slut in the canoe with some picnic left-overs and cold tea

Smack for breakfast

Lobbing goat skulls thru the vatican’s reception window

We knocked off LL Cool J’s pork pie hat for fun

Coloured bear

The darkest days of the Raj

Matchstick fist (MTV on acid)

MTV spooky ghost portal

We heart spooky houses

We arranged the little porcelain chicken effigies on the lunch counter and invited people to inspect them for cracks
dandruff excluder

Mouse organ

Kinky woodpecker

Ridiculed by a deformed baby!

Whispering rockets

I met Paul McCartney and he was wearing my mother’s apron

Bongo rocket

The sound of a baby leaving the womb for the first (and only) time

School kids getting happy on Friday morning

This plastic divorce

Stand back when the horse comes

Pony with a tiny little baby sown into its fur

Tiny little babies floating above Manhatten

Nanny's Meat
Meaty Maps

nanny dandruff
big-boned corpse

Wig made of bear fur

Argument pie – (A dead man in the back seat of a car with a fly crawling on his eyeball.)

German feet

Fish bones in paradise

Airbonre infant

The tiny little babies that float above our heads when we are trying to get out of a cage

Mu mu flesh

Chinese dandruff

Making fun out of people from the underground

Creole bone

Taken by a naked creature in a puffa-jacket

Dinosaur mind

I didn’t see a newspaper headline for three days

Black santa

I agree with God on just about everything

I was born in Brazil and I am covered in fur

Wank rupture

Banged up for sleeping with a ghost

senior cobwebs

The only reason I colloborate with Mr W (Good Luck) is because I admire his teeth

"Ghetto Buddha"

Johnny Carson’s umbilical chord collection is rotting in the sun

Addicted to hospital cheese

Obtuse leper / circular perm

Take out your fangs and gently bite my ball sack

Temporary batter

The beautiful face of Giles

My head – blank blank (stop talking to my list)

Indexing the death certificates

Ambrose of the vicitimsed

Movies about people that only eat grapefruit

Oily hair of the perpetually dirty

Muscle dust

Beautiful Rambo

Web of shit

We decided to drop our e's humanist funeral parade

Piping out the doom-music

She opened her purse and a beautiful butterfly flew out

Functional arsehole

Kinky Rambo

My arse is so trendy

Colourful Jackson

Blind man driving an ambulance

Colourful tits

Jungle curtains

belly button sauce
dancing with the spoon-fed old people at the mid-nighties jungle disco

hey you guys..let’s fall apart

Werewolf in cheap clothing

in love with the missing kitten (i saw him on the telegrpah poles)

Those lovely bones ya keep in ya breast pocket

Picasso drew my twat

Unicorn wrapped in cling-film (from E Bay)

Electronic Insertion

Choking on art

Defunct story teller

The way we strayed

remains of fatherhood

Box of bubbles
ancient teeth falling from the sky

Roger Rabid

Gimp pickle

Pansy in the boxing ring (holding a flower and trying to avoid being hit in the coupon)

Ghosts of Morocco

Junk shop chicken

Minstrel with a mouth ulcer

Grand Miaow

Tits made of ice cream

Pagans of Quebec

homoerotic mix tape

Carry on, as if the lights were still on

Gary Shandling ate my harvest

Coconut rash

Oiled-up king kong


every morning the cockney licks his lips and salivates when thinking about Jellied Eel Day

Discussing American sports with the bearded hotel owner

The curly triangle

Corpse in the wheelbarrow

This year I spent 95 quid on meat

Puppets in the ocean

Big man in a tiny hole with some monkeys

Bearded appointment

Gone with the trump

Ghost poetry

Ghostly palour of the chief of the wan androids

Dirty Cling Film Island

As the cassette recording of your dead aunt ended we began to pick our noses with gloved fingers

As the day goes fast, we salt our meats

Kinky Nintendo

Shit pickle

Kinky pilgrims

Do kangaroos have thumbs?
my asshole has recently been stuffed with Japanese Tobacco
your mysterious bag of lips

Them bloody terrorists!

Minced like a pig

Rancid corpse sitting in the day centre

We sprinkled sugar onto the cadaver, but still the old people just wanted to go home and eat potato + veg

Gimp in the sunshine

creamy horse / astronaut in the abbatoir

Wet dinner

I am a veggie, so instead of human flesh I shall have a carrot or two

Janet sat alone in the graveyard and read a passage from ‘Ghosts in the sky’ by unknown author

Forget what I just wrote on the internet

Dead internet

Black butcher

Take off that cowboy hat, we’re in the big city now

Texan homecoming (bring out the cooked meats)

Gay men at the bottom of the ocean

Is it OK to flick thru catalogues when you don’t wanna buy nuffink?

I was so embarrassed cuz my mum was flicking through a catalogue during the whole journey (but she had no intention of buying anything)

Fat leper

Studying lounge rats from afar

Chamber of devils (grrr..)

My head was in Christina’s dinner

Eating the gravy

Cricket bats

Enormous coffin

Bin man in a  dinner jacket (unusual sight)

Fag gadget

Tight sweat

This animal is too basic

Free as a bird.. in a cage!

Black whole

We hate babies

A field full of  fraggle babies

Cucumber for a nose

Dissident rainbow

Alsation with a curved nose

Elastic biscuit

Buffalo of New York City

Orange violence

The crush down in the basement

Death reconstruction society

Coco kidney

Patterns in the moon

Wet index

Lombardo Blisters

Godzilla in the out-house

Muddled queers

Grand mash

Let my hair down easy

Ghost mustard

Wheels on a rat

Bike ride on Mars

The day the robot started rusting

Goblin on the cushion

Wolf in the library

The librarian was totally naked except for her skirt and hat

Pink microwave

distant shit

Walking home with the ape

Christmas on crack

Do you want to go to Manchester with me (my name is Paulo)

Rivers of love (cream dream)

Puppy inventory

Itchy toe

Stroke my hair and call me Pony

Bone pony (boneless pony)

The cat always licks his chops in the morning

Princess with one finger missing on each paw

Frog oil

We take our hands and we raise them like children

Hippo glue

Imagine a world full of otters and Christmas cakes

Lord Summerisle had some curious-looking matter on his upper lip

Dormant machines can and will strike back

Kiss the priest (eyeball jam)

The drunk butcher (who chopped his own arm of)

Liver sausage, cold eggs and a bag of hash

Pony is my Honey (young man’s beard)

Tantric helicopter

Oblivious to the change of temperature in the out-house

Drinking gravy as if it were a drink

Poetry muscle

Pulling on the hair of Godhead

Do you want a bite of this veggie kebab? Has it got meat in it? No

Clump – vegetarian café in Cambrideg UK

Join the army – get a free haircut

Normal men and bizarre kids

The president proffered his hand for me to shake, but, it was not a hand; it was a bloody trotter!

Was Del Boy a communist?

The hairy fanny-pack

Deep-fried beard

Jack and Meg wiped each others faces with the hankie that they shared

Warped coconut

Harry Paw
Wash your hair and come back to me, Franklyn

Living with Harry Nilsson

Chamber of good-natured horror

Gloves off for hand inspection

The edge of the world / swine moustache

Fond of swine

Garden centre madness (I talk to da flowerz)

Zodiac wank

Abnormal turnip

Bob Holness was a good friend of my girlfriend’s cat

Oh woman, let me be your lover / sometimes I regret that  I  kissed Mike

Frank rules me with his tongue of meat

Joy of sex (with added sponge)

Sagacious lemonade drinkers

Lizard breath makes you woozy

Your dick is a trophy, really

The bottled perfumes disguised the hideous smell of his anus

Pocket anus

Anal hex

(laughing cobweb)

Flirting with a ghost

Thinking about love apples in the morning

Gower and the black-listed chickens

Do the canned dance

Aliens in the water feature

Betty got tanked up five days in a row and forgot all her dreams of leaving the caravan site

drunk on cobra juices

my little leather pouch was full of tiny chicken bones

Rebirth of Bambi

Planet of the Apes IV – Kiss my Furry face

Dogs of grunge music

Making humourous sculptures from the bones of the recently deceased clowns

Buried alive with Pingu

An extensive list of batchelors

Come down and greet rasta man

Perfumed trolls

Sun rats (sun rats)

Troll mother

The dancing corpse

Gorilla snout pipes

Her handbag was full of cement

Do you love Jesus? No? well, I do and I want you to LOVE HIM TOO

The day my sports bag was full of nothing related to sports

The salty knuckles

It is not my job to comb your hair

Making maps for the sugar babies

Dutch voodoo

Vince Gallo bit my lips

Gimme a Martini and a packet of cold meat

The cracks in the pavement contained little notes written by ghosts

Locked nest monster

German Disco

Caterpillar crust

Stop making faces at me, I am (a) Prince

I am a symbol of sexual inhibition

Ladies banquet

Itchy ghost

My gay husband blows his whistle every time he sees a lush lad

Eastern weasel

Chubby duck

Wearing your gorilla face mask to the monkey picnic

Beaten up by Jack Nicholson’s children

If I had a fish for every time she drank that..

Pierced for luck / the Ha Ha Ha Birds

Stubborn trombonist

Chucked out of the baby clinic on xmas eve

The day the sun shat itself

Yuck yuck bird / dreaming of a prince made of  fish

She wore her death suit and paddled out to sea

Incognito buffalo / butterfly fingers

Raging butterfly

Baboo Collins and the self-disciplined followers of Messy Child King

Croaking lizard vol. 01 (Deaf Buffalo records reissue series part one)

Wizard vs lizard / gigantic tonsils
i keep a little effigy of Stephen Fry in a used tobacco tin
i am dry, gimme some piss

Cabaret rank

Stubborn corpse

Do we still dance when the moon comes out?

The glove was made of leather and the packet of ham was fresher than the morning dew on that there skeleton

Denizen of earth speaking carefully to a piano dentist

Fascinated by your sun-burnt hands

Oiling up the corpses

Corpses at the window

Chronic bongo

Walnut in my wallet
..and we inserted a walnut into the gaping orifice
snacking on a sweaty man's orifice discharge

Peripatetic statue 
dirty breath of the loser

Recycling graves

Losing your marbles in the hospital library

Skeleton breath

Superchump 2000

Wash your hands before you touch my face

Wash your hands before mauling my chops

Crapulent otters

Jack the wolfman cries everytime someone calls him a hairy bastard

Clouds are cute

Baby in the bin

Elvis 1999 come back special

Crapulent nipper

Gorgeous swollen fingers

Necklace made of little baby bird skulls

Racing against the slow kids

Attractive blisters

Are you a ghost?

planets make me itch

Cinema on loop

Wank museum

Baby-faced skeleton

Verdant ditch / miracle itch

My mum has a beard and a moustache

Jesus Monkey

Forgotten dinner muscle

Lizard pimp and the lazy automaton

We eat cabbage soup!!

Distinctive voice of the Christmas Whore

Crippled cabbage

At the end of the street was a fairy with it’s wings all broke

Dismiss the skeleton from the rib theatre

Can we now dance w/ feathered skeleton

Addicted to commiting suicide

She who burns sugar before sunrise

I watch nothing but frog porn

Bastard in the water

Farmyard tart

Tinned deodorant

Tinned bereavement

Oliver the Pancake

Gorilla in a headlock

Clouds that make your mouth feel fuzzy

Beard bath

Dead man’s dream

Pre-order a ghost

Kinky gravy

A big field full of dead horses

Plastic hag

Blank pony  (white giraffe)

Book one (forgotten tonsils) – tiny eyeballs

http://www.stopgoingtohell.com/

wanked dolphin

boyhood gravy

lessons learned from the Fish Factory employees

golden whiplash

Juicy UFO

Perfidious armistice (beware of this, note it in yer scrap jotter)

Charnel house blues (version X)

Moustache on the patio

Rasping at the old ladies on the way home from gun club

Kicking the ghost where it does not hurt

naked eyebrow

Repeat after you (soccer moms)

The sexy witch

Travelling around the world with The Randy Peacocks

Jesus in jeans

Birds what look like the clouds they fly past

Jay Z looks like my mum

Friends with the animals, enemeies with the androids

…and then his monacle fell into the dog shit

Detached Fingers in the buffet

Perm division

Angel gravy / angelic gravy

Cotton clubber in the midnite spunk swamp

Swapping gorillas for monkeys

The dance of the half-dead

The nancy dragged his skeleton around like it was a fashion frock

The sea was red beacuase lots of people got mutilated by fish

Perfidious bible characters make me frickin’ sick

Oiled cucumber

Bonus goat

Welsh fossils

Fish chips chicken and hot girls – great nite

Stars of the shiping forecast

Missing the beast

Munching on sea cucumbers with the Glory Boys

Glorious sex.

Nibbling on a hash muffin on the penultimate bus home (I live in Brazil by the way)

Memorable biscuit

Lizard kissing a corpse at 3am

old woman looking for frozen vegetables

Biscuit lips

Clever children sitting inside machines

Bongo tittie

Making love with your arms tied behind your back

Afraid of alligator-man

Weekly Kojak

Very glad to meet you (are you a human?)

The weeping walnut

Glutinous Idiot on the marzipan mile

Petrol – coated thumbs

Waiting to dance with a puff horse

Sleeping androids dreaming of ‘nothing’

Toilet tourist

Bumflap manifesto

Count Driscoll and the mauve corpses

The day we formed a gang and proceeded to terrorise the town folk

Bent by inhibition

Too many toys can ruin a child and make him or her lose everything that made them good and pure

Death kiss 2000

The sound of impending doom made us fell comfortable

Soul chamber fruit music / homosexual hip replacement

Camouflaged priest

Artful fangs

The goose that taught us how to fart properly

Breaking away from the caged instructor

The mystery of secret fish

Post-american century blues

Stabbed in the control panel

Virtually dead animals

Death valley wish list

I took a council estate bird on a date to the local Jazz Club, and we fell in love immediately

The pierced soul of my man

Straight man’s haircut

Direct piece of news from the turtle’s gob

Penumbral death!!

Happy prole, sucking on an ice pop in the death swamp

Warren Oakes drifiting (through my village) and talking on the phone about birds and trees

Mauve death (pouring with acid rain)

Acid finger

We mixed up the remaining egg shells with some baked beans and coffee granules

Telephone biscuits

Seismic crush!