'ha Ha!'
'Ha Ha Moon - Surefire Hit of the Future'
'I Wish it Was Still the 'Zoo Age''
'972 Geek 1'
'I Fucking Wish it was the 60s'
'Smile, You Are 'X''
'Gulliver's Fruity Hangover'
'Inside a Whispering Bomb'
'Boss Eyed Klutz'
'Ladies Love the Sun / mer'
'Popcorn String Baby'
'We are the Remaining Men'
'Europe?'
'Nick Cave Bad Seeds 2015 (YN)'
'Houghton the Rasta'
We are the Remaining Men (Japanese snuff movies)
Box of miracles / Genius of the pool hall
Void Info number 01:- I can’t get down from this tree (spent all night talking to the character actors)
I won’t swim through this thick mud / lambasted by Son of Jesus
When I wake up in the morning and I feel like Jesus’ son
Shaking hands with Jesus on a Wednesday morning
Sniffin’ flowers in the graveyard / impossibly obvious meat products
The green curtains had faded to yellow overnight
The boy who could not grow a beard / the boy who could not grow a bird
Forgotten porn actors of the seventies
A crow by any other name / living with the vegetables
Spastic breakfast
‘what makes you different from other kids?’… I love all creatures equally..even maggots and flies etc.
We boiled our meat and then let it rest in the purple sunshine
Petrol station buffet
Stabbed by your mother
Regular use of computers make you less intelligent
Unimpressed by the albatross impersonator
Dead people have monochrome dreams
The fish that live in the dead man’s gut
The proudest rebel
Little tiny babies floating above the earth’s atmosphere
I wish I had been adopted by an astronaut
Killed by love / diseased banquet
…then he threw all his medals in the fire / the friendly enemy
Dracula in high-heel boots
Does Dracula make love?
Getting beaten up by a retired English wrestler
The sharks were all made of foam / dandruff coat
Rare as the yeti
We vanquished the demons and then sat down to breakfast
We sat fingering the adul moustaches before it was time to get dressed and go back to the onion fields
Adult beard / junior moustache
Bersey’s lobotomy
Pancake for kiddies
Sluts of theatre studies group
The reunion of The Slits / erotic hand-glider
Darker than a gypsy
Ancient floating whistling ghost / female smiles
Making love to a prostitute who strongly resembles Eric Morecombe
Vulgar fudge
The circus made me cry
The medicine chamber was full of empty bottles wrapped in dirty underwear
Sweet kisses covered the sweet corpse
Plant a dream, Mrs Moses
Tramping around the forgotten city
Remains of the beef stew
The little girl that lived in a cuckoo clock
Charming corpses
We were kept awake by the continuous noise of a tooth being chipped away with a tiny pick-axe
Comprehensive list of the names of local demons
We learn what we want and we do not recognise the authority of the Big Boys
Paranormal buffet / bigger than Micro Mouse
Yoko Ono was my baby sitter
The horse that thought it was a person
Winston Hitchcock and the plastic actress
Designed by son of The Animal
The great hangdog draught of ‘68
HDS made by friends and lovers of the distant underground
Hank is a good name for a Rabbi
Delicious death / rabbi pie
Yoko Ono Factory
Plastic 90 – Absolved by hope
Dog with a hole in the middle
We dance, we love, we kill
The boy who kept forgetting his name
Drugged by God
Going out with women that look like vegetables
Most nostrils never actually get to see the light of day
The gypsies severed hand was placed in a small green box and thrown in the deserted car park
Hospital troll / fire in the armpits
British funerals are the best
Snorting the air like a fresh hoss
All that was left was a bag of Beatles cassettes and a one-way ticket to Nepal
The Sting cassette had been wrapped in an off-yellow cleaning rag
..playing a bongo with clenched fists
Furious distance / erotic plantation
I bare-knuckle boxed with Robert Mitchum (and I let him win)
Morbid happiness / Black astronaut
Hank Williams played at my lover’s funeral
Big boys in the salad bar
Most Americans are incredibly fat
Christ was a Buddhist
Australian rules football players making love to svelte English women / spastic reaction
Charlton Heston would have looked the other way at this point
Turned on by nightmare
There ain’t anything so disturbing as a wolf on a motorcycle
Wanton horse / stuck in a lift with three little gay people
When I was the milkman
Disturbed by the little pixie which sits in the corner of my living room
Making dog toys from the left-over plastic
Garderner’s girlfriend
Hanging out with the 1920’s punk rockers
Dead regrets
‘I think I’ve found the British Elvis’ ‘well, don’t just stand there..bring him in, bring him in’
Comfortably sterile / ju ju bones
The day Barry White was aborted
American sock puppetry of the 1980’s
Twinkling cats down there in USA
Made to withstand any kind of meaty smell
Piss the bath
Dog Head and the death master
Who would have thought that Green Man would fall at the penultimate hurdle?
Sheila caught a disease named after the TV star
Simon would have made an excellent lover, but he refused to eat out
Elvis was my lover
I Don't Care if it Rains or Freezes, Long as I Got My Plastic Jesus
A simple line can be so beautiful (Poor little girl, with your hand full of snow)
Cats in the attic
Dylan keeps you breathing
This here plastic dog
Dog with no thumbs
I love the sound of bones cracking in the morning
Removing the zero – passing the crippled sparrow to the new boys
Box full o’ onyx (cub’s moustache)
Japanese haircut
Elastic illustration / doomed fishmonger
He revelled in his perceived image as a dark and brooding man about-town
Turned by Johhny Depp / actors who can’t act but can grown decent moustaches
It’s my primary instinct to forget the children
Computerised pornography of the late nineteenth century (hour after hour after hour)
Corpse at the piano
I had a girl, her name was Friday..i met the girl on a Monday
Now he hangs around with pop stars and has stopped contemplating death
In your own biblical words..
A morbid predilection for making love to death
More smiles, less laughter / King Killer
The thrill of fake sex is waning / dandruff-coated wolf
Modern jungle mannerisms / jungle greetings
Queen Quiver and Uncle Bongo
Tonight we eat meat, and meat alone
That doomed? That doomed? – gifts from the miniscule lads
Cross out that lovey dovey bit, Ian
Michael taught us how to be bald
Void chat
We removed the TV to encourage the kids to argue amongst themselves
I really like girls (and boys)
We hollowed out the cucumbers on xmas eve (fast and heavy soup)
Vegetarian terrorist
The last days of Ambling Ricky
Hard-on at the prostate examination
Inverted smiles of the half-dead / dead astronaut reunion gala
Making love to a mna who looks like Arthur out of ‘On the Buses’ at the Monkees reunion concert
Sting had just played a very monotonous concert, so we did some acid to liven the night up
Dressing so as to not get beaten up
Above life:- Lincolnshire
Epileptic porpoise
The skin head dandy
Getting beaten up by a retired African soccer player
A bunch of rough-looking lads sniffing flowers and doing other ‘gay’ activities (like stroking kittens)
Skin head at the birth of new messiah
As the skin head slept we decided to knit him a ginger wig
A hand-drawn image of an anachronistic Mickey Mouse
Gentlemen in the day-care centre (listening to a pan-pipe music cassette)
Oblong forest / James Blood Ulmer and the itchy fingers
Man with fangs
Ha ha (don’t stop talking ‘till I come)
Ethiopian workshop
Going home without the Big Baby
The forgotten document / AIDS map
Unbridled joy of the Bongo player
If pigs were different, we would pack up and head off down the road
Wheels on a corpse
Iggy Pop dandruff particles
Organic wank
We made him up to look like Iggy Pop, and then we made love to him
Three girls in a row, waiting for milk and bread
Beef jerky reaction
Tailor-made death
Golden moustache
The crack which appeared in the coffin on New Years Day
Apes caught on tape
The adventures of the monocle-wearing primate (God’s anthology)
Euro Disney death count
Death of jazz finger
Do you want to eat the dream tonight?
Lovely rival
Wolf man wearing a ffrilly shirt
The kangaroo bulletin / see Ken ping
A sock on the door knob indicated that she was ready for love
The lovely champions / Creole anatomy
The vegetarian was cured by going to war for a couple of days a week
Perverse specialality
Addicted to the Rack
Lars from Liars
Improsined in cellophane
The distant voices of tribe of ghost dogs
I snogged ten lads in a row and then took them for breakfast
Tennis blues + dead end language
‘I’m a believer, little miss Crawdaddy’
Hospital smiles / hospitalised dream
Confessions (and dreams) of a teenage jesus freak
Why do I love the lord? (answers on a postcard)
Electric postcard (baby bags)
We thre a bag of cement onto the head of the brain-dead punk rocker
Worrying bunion
Friday 13th – everything deleted (please remove your face mask)
Cowboy wand / embracing a cowboy at 3 in the morning
Purient relationship with my little Lord
I’m a New Testament kinda guy (lobotomised in Oslo
Above the moustache sat the beautiful nostrils
Born without any nostrils
My new baby wants me to grow a moustache (but I can’t!!)
Baby born without a moustache
The amazing giant mouse what lives in my brain
Ketamine kids live in the rainbow
A distant voice told me to stop shaving immediately
Born with no features
Ketamine poetry club
New look teenage Jesus sitting in the back of the ambulance wearing a bloody anorak
My kinda Jesus
Children’s toy pistol wrapped up in a filthy yellow anorak
The diamond-encrusted faeces
Lobotomised Jesus
Can of freaky dust
Ongoing adventures of the Moon Baby
Computer usage makes you even more unintelligent / fugacious shag
Disabled pro / candy from the moon
The men who live under the sea
Commercial potential of a death / Corwood Blues Barrier
Commercial potential of the death and life of a bearded child
I knew it was you you – I will not attend pisces opera
Brilliant white teeth of old man
Naked and fat in the afternoon
Apple at Christmas / so I can remove these greasy bones from my daughter’s bedroom
The grease coated every living thing
Let the devil eat them tea time biscuits
A trophy wife sits in a cage eating some fine food
Making love to a lad who strongly resembles Sterling Richard Smith (maybe he is him)
Laughter like a trumpet
Point Judith map in a graveyard in future / buzz buzz
Yeah! Fat wizard
/ a morbid fascination with dead jazz drummers
Ancient sauce bottle collection.
Egyptian teeth
Recollections of a teenaged Jesus
Christ the redeemer is myy lover / buffet lunch was too much to stomach..quite literally
Boiled before the sun does rise
Peter crouching down so he can see an old ladies face
Moustache on an Estonian infant
Geezer’s butler / making love to the flood victims (after they had fully dried out)
Victorian babies floating in the dust-filled sky
…so we covered the tower in butter and slid down it in unison
Partly dead boong (fist shower)
..as he sat massaging his watch awaiting happy hour
Ginger pilot
You’ve got to be asleep to dream (I said that)
Relax, don’t do it…ok, do it.. but clean up after yourself
The beautiful shining iron horse
Relaxing on a Monday afternoon in the sticky tape factoy
The sublime grind
Miserable sick stupid twisted Jesus
Making love to the larger louts
I didn’t even believe in Jesus when I was a terrorist (function – man) / function of man
The day Malcolm re-joined the circus
June and July – two sisters with names that are also the names of months
Let’s just call it Skid City
Candy for the corpses
Ghost in the gin bottle (radio-friendly cover versions of Jazz Pith records)
All of you, I love all of you (you are Welsh)
Stanley Unwin cassettes filled my sock drawer (leaving no room for sock)
Flesh puppet
Flesh-coated corpse
Grinderman Village People (Nancy on tablets)
Ian was/is my new lover
Ugandan lover / embarrassing teeth
Sugar-coated sex
Sex acts of the Desert Gods / manifesto of the Gods
Ashamed to say he is my lover and also my work colleague
Apples at 7am (disco bereavement)
Don’t you want to love me in a minute?
The fall of the Christ figure
Little babies dressed up to look like Jungle Book characters
Bobby Gland presents ‘the All-New Chicken and Chip show’
Test department- we do not believe in TV
TV show addiction made our gums bleed
Arctic Chamber Music made us feel slightly less despondent
That big green veggie smile of yours
We bred chickens in our back yard, and then handed them out to the hungry vegetarians
Man-child on his internet, trying to find a life
Bobby Beautiful and the jazz hormone
You are rubbish – you live in the sky
Legacy of lobotomy – lobotomised maths teacher rocking back and forth in a plastic café chair
Legacy of lobotomy – lobotomised infant drooling whilst watching a ‘Das Boot’ video
The Death Row prisoner’s final request was to have his face painted to look like a skelton’s face
My name is Cedric and I live in the village; I want to go out with a man (elder)
His last meal consisted of nothing but ready-meals
Death Corn Rows (shut up and jive, Barry Venison)
Addicted to organised chaos (furry mouths)
The day we became addicted to lifeblood
Sexy women of police force
I changed my appearance to make me look 1 percent more Jewish
I have discovered a video cassette tape of Jesus Christ singing and playing the harmonica
Library book covered in pictures of my sister / Android Floss
A kitten now lives in my old pork pie hat
Kiss kiss the spaceman (my pork pie hat)
Piping out Alsation Music to the sleepy-eyed Jewish bank robbers
Two fairies singing a Donna Summer song backwards / bloody astronauts
This hospital coffee tastes about as good as the coffee which I used to get from the local abbatoir café
The hospital hero sandwich was fairly average (4/10)
Here is a sketch of a Brooklyn Zoo dolphin which I did on my lunch hour
Refusing to wait for the Shadow (Business of Lucas) / shanty town abbatoir dominoes squad members
Stroking a skeleton with your velvet gloved-hand
The hairy skull which rests on the surgeon’s mantle shelf / disco stew
Hospital jazz
The torch shone on the choir boy’s ft cheeks
Rasta Picnic
The stubble that grows on your chin as you wait for the chain ganag to appear / coloured duck
The silent grind
Hillbillies of Surrey , UK
Motorcade of pricks
A fur coat is laying in the street, and a tramp is urinating onto it / serious trousers
Welcome to The Trouser Press, now take off your pants
Illustrated guide to understanding The New testament
African map collection (my)
Walking backwards for a ‘change’ / timeless dynamite
We used the abandoned DR Congo map to wipe the babies arse
Doctor living in a boat, making sense of the people around him (the sea men)
The secret of quiet happiness lies in limiting your aspirations
Secret poetry of the demi-god (Uncle Simon’s five knuckle sandwich)
Discussing Frank’s manners in a frank manner / addicted to reading barcodes)
The expensive Chinese plate was knocked over by the camel’s flailing limbs
A witch riding a broomstick on TV
A young Cubist licking his lips at the thought of the tea his mam was going to cook him that night (chips, peas, onions and chicken fried in breadcrumbs, if yer interested)
Do you like my finger list? Well, don’t you?
Listening to my bootleg Duke Ellington cassette on the way home from the Roller-Disco (I bloody hated that Roller-Disco)
Cubist fingernails
We can see the cogs going round in his massive head
Finger nails are useless if you are Fish Man
‘dancing about architecture’ (Frank Zappa has not got a moustache anymore)
I likc my lips at the thought of eating you out
Junk mail addressed to the dead
Big thanks to the fat chap from ‘round the corner
Learning to love the speed freaks
I’m a freak? Why, thank you very much
Macho man with a pink umbrella and a tiny little purse (containing miniscule home-made bones)
The bone poetry
Depressed beyond tablets
This song is called ‘March of the boys from somewhere that isn’t near London
Reasons to be miserable (part 11) – sexual ingestion
Thanks to the boys from nowhere near London
Optimism is the last refuge of the pessimistic
Coloured-in kids / bitten on the nose by a rabies-infected puppy dawg
The day I killed Bono (please note:- John Bono works in my local Taekwondo club)
Scouse scouse (nought dread today, Chipmunk man)
Men in shirts sitting around discussing what supermodels they like
I work in a place that pretends it is still 1996. / 960 – days when you want to kiss yourself
Disturbed by the Fish Riots (smell my feet..they will make you realise you are not alone in this world)
We handed the infant an assortment of coloured crayons and she promptly drew a picture of an astronaut that bore an uncanny resemblance to Peter Cook
Mattress ghost
Bored by death / we replaced the Matisse with a child’s painting of Elvis Presley’s mam
Bored by the Yellow Astronaut’s never-ending egg poetry
The poet’s flow was halted by the exploding children in the back row
Gulliver’s second hand job (of the day)
It’s good to make love to the world every known and again
It’s like making love to the daughter of the king
Dancing like a leper to the Foul Weather hits
OK don’t go then, stay here and freeze with the Hot Children
I only drink coffee to fit in with the Café Kids
A butcher asked me if I knew where he could get some o’ dat ‘special meat’
Timeless bomb (hello Dr President)
Beginning the sermon with some toasting and some phat beats
I’m going to eat something in a minute (modern guile)
The black wall which we decided to paint even blacker..
The myriad addictions of Kate Beckinsale
Lee Hazlewood taught me how to be cool / miniscule tribe
A child’s crude sketch of Tommy Cooper made me cry
Is it OK if I date your chimp?
Mid-day erection
In love with the ginger woman
The witch that lives in the night sky with the stars and the crooked owls
We took off our tank tops and made love to the cat walk kings
Big ginger love muscles
We took off our crash helmets to allow the pretty girls to see our chiselled good looks
Morbid nostrils
We decided to go to bed before finishing our last suppers
We inspected the crashed spaceship to find a dead humanoid who strongly resembled a sketch my child once did of Jesus Christ
Spastic bags.
Pilgrims to the left of me, pilgrims to the right..here I am; stuck in the middle of a load of pilgrims
I would give my middle arm for a bag of cough syrup right now (joyous gays)
A good pilgrim never really worries where his next pot of yogurt is going to come from
Feeding radishes to little tiny yellow humanoids
I just got my book published! (it’s called ‘my first erection’)
Radio-friendly dirty Balkan dirges
Ball can AKA can of balls
A man called Jerry Moses is taking out my nasal hairs with his tooth foot
In my head I am a snazzy business man with a fast car and a blonde wife; in reality I am a bum with no trousers
Kidney gloves
Mick Jagger has been killed by an exploding Sugar Bomb..
I never did like roof-top jazz
Western Finger Mice
Disco slugs
Navy tampax/ Liz Gay and the straight kids
Shredded by the Wolverine impersonator
…and then I confronted you with a plastic bag full of doll heads and half-eaten cheese rolls
Only fish can dream of living in the sky
A big-faced lunatic trying not to fall off the back of the Meat Wagon
Hung out to dry with the pants and the socks / the much-delayed retirement of Jingo Kid
The new born baby has eaten all the plastic fruit
Christmas Knuckles
Date of birth:- (the date has been deleted at the behest of King Willy III)
Ghost Face ain’t gor a gun.. he used his hands to kill peoples
Killing in the name of Toast Boy AKA Jackie Toast
Ripped off by Wilson Palacios’ mamma
Don’t worry Kid, you don’t need all your limbs today
It’s not difficult to kill a tourist in this day and age
Kill yourself today:- Barry White was a kid who never took ‘no’ for an answer when being offered either chips or women
Wipe away the tears Barry; it’s time to go under
Fallen away like an old rock man
Illustrated guide to being hard part 03
Kid Kangaroo told us where to find the best gristle pies / hey Duke; gimme the pie what contains the most gristle and fat
I really fancy a gristle sandwich this morning
Robot number one:- I deleted my list as it was making my vagina itch
The posh kids pretended to be rough by putting dirt and fish paste on their trousers
My kid is addicted to hitch-hiking
We went outside with the biggest vessels we could fing to catch the soup rain
Living in a tent with a load of naked women who look like owls
It’s raining soup (and Chuck Berry wants Pea ‘n’ ham)
It’s difficult to make love backwards
Difficult birth of Honey Monroe
I upset Santa by having a bowl of reindeer soup for my tea (the great redeemer—here we go, here we go.. don’t stop ‘till we get to Fish Factory)
Redemmed by nothingness
Fu Manchu and the blind astronauts
..for the love of Johnny Cash
I’m graeteful that my father made me watch the slaughter and bloodshed on the TV
Toughened up by Amos
It took a number of weeks to gain the full respect of Wolf Boy
Is it rude to whsiepr about the dead?
Nibbling on a chicken leg whislt waiting for the spaceman to arrive
Back to the batchelor pad to see if the sex slave has left me some video evidence
A fitting way to end the day is to smoke some good crack and have a butter sandwich
Beyond the finger/ er.. I picked up bits and I picked up pieces; I then reverted to being gay for the next two years (’87-90)
A girl for every situation
You can’t go / as I sti next to the open wall I see things from my mind floating past; ie. bacon rolls and butcher’s dungarees
I’m gonna leave the scab in place as it resembles a pig’s head
The piano will not die, Tony
Sanding down the hobby horse’s penis on xmas day
My shirt was once worn by ex-Bolton Wanderers manager ‘Ian Klutch’
Racist astronaut
Dancing outside with the Indoors Kids
Deleted frog
King of the dead margarine addicts
We then hollowed out the cucumber and inserted ten tiny birds into the cavity
Men who eat fudge on fast trains
I met Peter Cook once; on the set of a re-make of Black Beauty
That surely is one black beauty
The lonely programme will be starting in the next two days, Kerry / boys will be in the sea before we know it
The sea tastes like salt and vinegar crisps
The plastic train quickly melted in the morning sun (and the passenger’s had to walk the rest of the journey)
Albatross with a human’s nose
Finishing school beauties
Don’t stop growing that beard, Amos
Ang Lee’s festive moustache collection
Childhood atmosphere
Too early in the morning to be a scholar
Living with the zombies / Ballardian kitchen
Smoking room only, Dan Petrescu
Stop eating all the right things / life with the very tall and thin blacksmith
Death of a Hag Raven
Bible smile
The bible is my third favourite book (number two is ‘My Big Beard’ and number one is’The Boy in the Abandoned Butcher Shop’)
The man in the chair in the plumed hat might be my dad
Looking at naked women instead of dogs / kids with no gloves on in the snow
In love with the money mouse
A hairy finger on mjy face
Hebrew poetry club dinner-dance
Ragamuffin sitting on the top branch of the tree
Memories of Eddie Cochrane / memories of Flat Eric
Ghost on the bus
Jazz dandruff
Smiling like a leper
..it was the first ever televised interview with a ghost
Chicken feet won’t git you very far / Chapman the pig
The dirty bones / underground bummer
Winklepuss said ‘hello’ / the remote ghost
Gong psychology / silent eyelids
Every boy under the age of ten gets a free hard boiled egg
Cub scout on acid
The difficult and yet necessary life of Adele H
Story of my lover (love me now, Seymour Henry Jacobson II)
Waving hello to remote ghost
Festival of fists
Clear out the sausages, Daniel
Charmed by the humanoid’s cheeky smile / silent might
The blind man who loved the idea of seeing naked men
My elasticated moustache / life in the doss chamber
My girl has a very cute anus / deleted frog
Walking through a Wilthire village with one hand in my trouser pockets and the other giving ‘the bird’ to passing joggers
Walking through the NASA head-quarters with one hand in ym trouser pocket and the other hand giving ‘the bird’ to passing astronauts
Addicted to filth / hanging around with the kids from the doss house
The whitest boy I know / basic alsation
This is some mighty fine albatross sausage
Get your hands off my boiled meat, Harris
Naked and afraid on Thunder Island (£5 per hammer blow)
Threesome in the abbatoir
This is sung to the tune of ‘if I had a lover, I would not be alone’… ‘I met my love, in the VD clinic’ blah blah (Percy on acid)
Dreaming of gay meal times
Shaving a werewolf in backroom of Moss-side pub
Er..i don’t ever go out alone (I’m afraid to be alone)
..we stuffed the cavity with pubic hair and screwed up till receipts
Bruno and Magritte licking each others cheeks on a Tuesday night in a local McDonalds café / sheep music
My favourite people are those which dress as members of the opposite sex for shock value
Mixed sex poetry club
Apples of jazz
Die men, shunting pennies from the edge of a middle clas families coffee table (whilst watching ‘Hit me in the Face’ on ITV2)
People who watch reality TV shows are probably obsessed with the alternative dimensions of outer-space
Most intelligent people find it very difficult to explain pretty much everything and anything and everything
Sucking up to the Adults is never a good idea
Trapped in the cabbage fire
First hand to the flesh pump / a serious discussion about the future of vegetarianism
Drawing pictures of my future lover whilst waiting for the master to come home / Colony of apes gone crazy.
Listening to Pigface on the way home from the Magritte exhibition
Swollen sundials / images of Wurzel (images of resistance)
A thin man who strongly resembles a rat is shuffling cards on the way home from the Time-Fish symposium
T-shirt on a cat / distant memories of China
List one:- backup kids make the best cottage pies / loose jewels
Ok, let’s throw the chicken bones at the old ladies…Now!! / return of chicken bone
Jackie Genesis taught me how to dress like a man / return of cabbage head (relistening party)
Apples falling from the sky like big green teardrops / dressing like Genesis man
Talking to men who resemble apes in the town centre of Nantwich (?) / dressing like the man from Genesis
Possible ways of making pals with B-list actors
Superman at 50 / dunked in junk
Finally.. a new way of falling in love with men and girls / 85 christmas zombies
Fooling around with nascent technology
..when we were the New Kids in town
I fondly remember the day that Americans started saying the word ‘blimey’
I got rather emotional whislt watched a movie about a young man who had never been in love / I found Jesus in a biscuit tin
What happened to Hiroshama Harry?
Turning the voodoo screw / different strokes – I threw my lucky blue raincoat into a nearby acid rain puddle
Bush fire baby
Emerson’s lock-up / typewriter bone
Who bought the cucumbers? (scuzzy rockets)
It spills out of his mouth like yellow milk
Deranged buffalo being led out of the Skeleton Prism by its shaking fist
Buttons of mirth – Erasmus and Eye (Cambs.)
2002 – the year of ‘the shock’ (AKA ‘Big Shock’)
Gosh, you have really beautiful nostrils
Cut up like a cube of meat / mattress stuffed with walnuts (stop me green man)
Her fingers were so long, they reminded me of flesh-coloured green beans
Indian kids stuck on top of very high buildings pseudo gravy (me and the horse-shoe)
Erotic implant / virtue’s pinkish eye rested on the worn-out croc hunter (vanishing splash – no more credit)
We made a hole in the cave wall to store our frozen burgers in
The gravy that would not settle / the smiling pseudo Welshman
I opened the bedroom curtains to find a big-faced lunatic staring back at me / duckbread
Blame everything on boys from FRS (Furniture Removal Services)
Funeral black-out / see-through Tuesday (find the bin man in your bed)
Massive tunnel vision (your big loopy eyes match the rest of your face really quite well) / duck with no features
My high school principal always wore a black rubber mask when addressing naughty children
Pupils of Big-eyed God
If God was Japanese we would all be robots / Highland gays
Jap Snack / baby with a human face
Every day I miss the G-Funk era
Screaming into a vicar’s face at 11.45am
I opened my suitcase to reveal ten very furry ostrich fingers
It’s ideal for making faces at the brother of Pope John Paul impersantor
When we discovered the forgotten recluse he had grown several beards of differing colours
No brain- office spatula
The cardboard door had gone all soggy from the incessant rain
The fugleman led us to his favourite South American bar ‘n’ grill restaurant
Smoking massive Cuban cigars on a lonely train to Southport / gorgeous nosejob
Smelly beard / my beard; my life
His lifestyle was not conducive to having good teeth / luxurious contusion
Little tiny men with shabby faces; looking through bedroom windows on council estates
The duck that would not quack anymore
I once had a girlfriend who was prettier than Elvis
Hanging out with the prettiest boy in town
Batman Begins is the crappest movie about a superhero dressed a bit like a bat that I ever did see
Batman is my ideal guy / idle poppa
Ten reasons to love the whale
Who would have guessed that The Sandman was gay?
Astronaut on acid / avoiding talking about the slaughter of Donkey Boy
Polemix of the disturbed teenager
There is a riot going on..somewhere..there must be!! / life under the dog
Corpulent teens hanging around burger van
Steamed corpse for tea
A cupboard full of microwaveable frogs
Ice age granules
Standing before a 7 foot tall drag queen (who is quite clearly far more attractive than me)
Most girls I date end up being guys / Russian moustache
The Saturday morning private kidney collection viewing was a very enjoyable experience / naked opera revue
Black operation / memorable penguin
Astronaut in the airing cupboard
This movie makes my nose itch
Hungrier than a new born baby which has been left in the Tesco car park in a cardboard box
Hungry like that bloke who followed Jesus around for a few weeks / skinny Bilko
The art critic/preacher man gave my sculpture of a new born pig a glowing review
Bribed by Otter Prince
Meat-free mentality
Deleted the golfers from our memory banks
Thum buffet
Spaceships made of wood
..we draped the panada lungs over the wooden fence to dry them out in the mid-day sun
Star Wars for girls
Harry Christmas and the Funky Albatross
A piece of dynamite wrapped in fur looked so cute and cuddly.. so we decided not to diffuse it
Cloud yellow over Suburban poet / Goofball at the gates of heaven
Ford Madox Ford is coming ‘round for tea..he wants fishcakes and apple sauce
Panda in my anus
Chucking cheap meats at a buck-toothed librarian
The darling glands of Augustine Clementine
I’ll be in my room, with a needle and a spoon
The death of big-faced grinning old man / panicking cat
New-age gorilla smoking a massive reefer (and getting mighty hungry)
Roar of the feral infant
Utilitarian babies (floating around the clinic waiting room)
The future of meat
'Never worry about people stealing your ideas. If you're any good you'll have plenty more'
Vanquished by fresh-faced demons
I mistook my wife for a giraffe and I shot her
The belial of our dreams, not of our nightmares / a fragrant horse being photographed by disabled Zambian school teachers
Those dandruff-coated days / a timely reminder that eating people is a taboo subject in Northampton
Pampered moose
The diseased mind of Cuthbert Jackson Junior / God’s first abomination
Quaint village full of dangerous animals
Jaded men sitting on luxurious sofas, being massaged by very tall transvestites
I refused to let my best friend call his new baby ‘Baby Kruffy’ / spat cannon
The treehouse where I first made love to the Skeleton King
..they removed all of his bones and he went all floppy and kind of floated down the stairs like a fleshy ghost
A fist full of minted pork and out-of-date raffle tickets (star prize was a chicken-in-a-basket dinner with Linda Lusardi (sic))
We stripped off all the wallpaper and covered the bare walls in old Popeye the sailor cartoon strips
Bigger than the man they call ‘Son of God’
If God was here now I’m sure he would let me borrow his lawnmower
It’s good to be on the yelloe yellow sun-stained grass of holiday destination
The little boy who looked a bit like a cobra
Ancient fist / trying to persuade the dinky to give up his comfortable family life and become an adult movie star
I spent 2 hours trying to persuade EC Segar to include me in his Popeye cartoon strip
The dandruff wars (eat my bacon and cake) / fish toothpaste
We cuddled the gorilla and knew we would come to no harm (it was an animatronic gorilla)
A gorilla with a 1950’s-style pair of moustaches
A pig (a woman) trotted by with a book on its head / a big bottle of ape saliva
The Critique of Pure Reason / mirrored cock
Sugar-coated death / racist horse
Squance and Caulfield memories of dreary day at beach
Sliding in your own memories on Salvation Day morning / unicorn stencil
Gary Pig Gold and the infant drama queen / duality of self
The infant was enchanted by the fluttering golden flags / Amazed by fluttering golden flags
Abandoned tennis shoes in the rain (Corwood Industries biblical pack-up)
I hate everybody (I am not teen) ikap text (Lenny Bruce)
Loose bones lost in the flood
Corwood Industries taught us how to be real dogs / tooth rhubarb
An epic reconstruction of the fight between the caretaker and his apprentice
Eric from Gilesville / Tubby Dolphin
Jason from
Peacock Street / Pampered Villagers
Peacock Street / Pampered Villagers
Emaciated Werewolf / legend of Dog Hockey
Don’t stop the dogs, Clive
Saliva apps / atonal Tuesday
God makes no noise in the cemetery (god’s instinct) / cemetery maps
The man who would not eat beans / Pakistan Workers Association
Prelude from a tear (for emma) / Four Emma
The organ was covered in cuckoo spit and monkey blood
Corwood obsession (w/ zero Pluto incision - 0)
Stars in the freezing bloody air
A skeleton wearing a cowboy hat in an abandoned wig factory
She pinched her nose and dived into the filthy god-damn ocean
Caramel horseys / (the caramel werewolf)
Pie Time for hungry children / it’s difficult to play Bach with trotters and hoofs
Corpulent dogs being fed fairy cakes by passing pedestrians
Cock out in summer heat
Think of me as the cute family dog
Throw-away poetry of the upper class pricks / deaths and entrances
Poetry for pricks
My hard-working father-in-law once made himself turn invisible for a whole 2 seconds
Here come the cracker factory workers..coming home for tea and smiles / Congo
Obtuse cracker factory workers sitting in closed-down pub / Raith of the Rovers
Diseased stubble
Memories and recollections of King Doom (yellow key)
Playing ‘Space Harrier 3D’ whilst my girlfriend chats up a beefcake
My girlfriend dies of a disease which I simply can’t remember the name of / jaded alien
Bingo caller’s moustache / liquid tenner
My hands grew bigger every time I thought about Ape Jones
Pigme bladder was the (not so secret) ingredient
Poems and short stories of the soon-to-be-dead fishmonger
Mickey the Monkey is my number one drummer / black waste water from seeping from the crack in the cherub’s cheek
Piss is Modern Art *© / duplicate corpse (1985)
I wish I was a punk rocker living in the UK
Molested by Jazz Chimp
The chimp learned how to whistle for the first time in his life
Girls wearing white sheets on their heads and then going for a walk in the town centre / Creole George and the lemonade drinkers
30 year old biscuit factory worker getting beaten up by a new born baby
Eyes on the maharani / waking up on Death Row
Chicken and snake hips shaking at abbatori workers reunion disco
Caught by Thud Thud (Dixon
The living room carpet was covered in fag butts and fish skeletons
Caramel beard / 3 boney horses being ed bread by an elderly clown
It’s got so I don’t want to (nervous reactor)
The road story that made the girls weep / colonial blister
Gilbert’s moustache
Sweet prince with a yellow face
It’s just me reciting incantatory poems in the bubble shell (cat dream)
Relics of dream life
God invented men but the devil invented motor cars
Rolling Stone with chicken and eggs / the day I decided to subvert the suburbs
Hidden beneath the subversion curtain
A mouth like no other / enormous dwarve
Stuck out in a village where everyone says ‘No’
Painted my teeth / gorgeous leper
Beef in my bap / jungle tits on my box
I have fallen in love with a Portugese boxer
Portugese Boxcar
Reclusive genie (he will not come out of his lamp)
Input college dogs (neck rockers) / travelling down to Hades with the January Man
That hippo is on fire
Lips that look like two red spaniels
Jazz reactor
Shaved onions (gosh, that is a lot of thick gravy)
Phone charger in the graveyard (Ethopian dialect)
The man that died from sausages
Eating crisps in hospital and drawing pencil sketches of snakes being eaten up by big giants
Crazy death of James Slim
The Capello Apple
The apple was painted red to make it look like a red apple instead of a green apple / bearded sperm
Bearded sperm whale
Collins Kid frying kidney nuggets
The cat licked his lips as we dangled a fish in front of him
Her duffel coat was covered in what appeared to be tiny spiders and massive flies
Jis pink overalls were covered in brown stains and duct tape
Taping the duck
Cycling on drugs
Magic screws up your head / House Music Vol. 01 (Ready for th’ House)
Wash up the pancakes
Drug takers in the Doomed House / relics of junkie
Dog or plastic wolf? / bus out the dead
Scared by Celled Trip Panic / Lawnmower Man reunion party
Alsation genes / alsation in jeans
I stroked my beard whilst looking at the nude girls swimming day breath
Late for the library appointment (Book One :-days of Johnathon) / afraid to trip
The days we stopped walking to you / the ineffable death pangs
Marching to Death Row on Sunday / relics of junk
Glow coming from the corpe’s mouth / Victor Babu and the tight chickens
music found on an unlabelled tape left in a deserted house / see the owl smile
leather-clad children / poem number 22 – blue corpse
can I catch you on your way to hell / German incision
kids standing on top of abandoned building waving flags to try and attract the Bird-Man
long fingernails are an indication of mental instability / good Monday
maybe it ain’t a good idea to see you / cling-film baby
puzzling bisexual - direct (‘I passed by the building where you live and I wanted to die’)
(‘It’s low tide and there’s diamonds in the ocean’ / Jandek Ramone
(‘I got a picture of a teenage daughter who’s growing up naked in the afternoon’)
(‘give him my genitals in a paper cup’). / ghost town by the sea
Days with Jonathon (Book 2) / analogous to being driven insane
Dissolution bracket / see the arch squid
You feel different after spending half a year floating around the moon / Hebrew Imprint
Omar Bongo’s new fitted haircut
Bono’s finger / adult pirate
Life on the mortuary slab
Twisted mouth of the weirdo clown
Number one:- stay something!
Pigs in the sea
Leonard is the oracle now (today) / Ann Berlin
Embrace the grey of reality / swollen fist
Insects don’t exist / moors exit strategy
Smiling old women in cages
The coloured circles that appeared in his third eye / …the day Canadians became ‘cool’
Talking with the ghost of Johnny at Gameboy Palais / deleted HJob
'I wore a scarf in Denmark
Death in cages (for ages) / cowboy ghost
Songs in the key of X / estimated death
The man who built a palace in his back yard
And this is all we dreamed of / I threw you away
Spectre’s eyes / the ruins of adventure (stop making stop making me laugh)
Extinction of hope / Riot Abba
The joy of anxiety / # slag
Pilgrim’s egg / beef studio
The soon-to-be extinct men of Death Row were drawing colourful pictures of their favourite animals to take to heaven/hell
Spector’s eyes / the poetry of madness (works of insanity)
Deaf ghosts / specific child
The glass egg shattered on the floor and millions of folded up bits of paper with the names of the dead fell out
Cancer trials
The sound that emenated from the grave machine resembled the the torpor of his voice
An afternoon of insensitivity
Should have come here today; should have.. (optional dot)
Why did he have stubble on his wedding day pictures?
Lovely rotten corpse / overground traffic
Ground bones and fish skulls. / bookie worm
In love with Graham / fistful of skulls
Champions in the deep water (deep-fried death)
Sombre gypsy – naked old women / cat banquet
Sobert tramp
A gypsies eye ain’t hard to find / tropical horse
Tearaway gypsy being given a dressing-down by the camp-site landlord
Fist of the Northern relic
Hardware masks / crystalised death (HF Face smile)
Dinner party with Optimus / African Lament (Afro Lament)
Optimistic Mouse / juicy corpse
I’m not the worst – everything goes / chiselled features of the lemming
Smile of slime / garage smiles (three)
Midnight blisters / African commotion
There goes your beautiful face / the crystalised corpse
A man walked into the graveyard wearing nothing but a horse’s head
Ram wrapped in curtains / vulgar monkey (of course)
POW poetry discovered in old rusty tin boxes (alongside bone fragments and bits of dried fruit)
No, it is is not (is it three?) / bulimic pulse
A blank face which is not a mask but the absence of a mask
Everything comes out of JSCI (removes the S) / the golden wig
In thrall to Modern Meat prep. techniques
Languid chubster w/ a ginger beard
Hungry man with an audience (Artist’s folly)
We spent several evenings viewing the hungry man attempting to eat absolutely nothing
Low-down corpse / chiselled to bits
Lovely sorts of extremity (dunked in blood)
New words found in daydream . French fingernails
Daniel’s teeth were removed at birth to enable him to suck on the teet without causing it unnecessary damage
I put a you on you! / reject the birth-right
His birth-right was a small fake moustache in a very beautiful onyx box
Life made sense after we abandoned the Presley Chamber / smiling man in a cardigan
Surplus circus entertainers being used to fill the cracks in the Wall of China
Apple rap. / guilty mountain (AKA Arab Rap)
The myth of disapproval / abandoned pieces of film depicting the once-mythical skeleton pipes litter the cutting room floor
Biscuits all over the goat’s bedroom floor / …and then we ensconced the prince’s body in a cube of ice
Shuffling cards in the abbatoir rest-room
Winded before breakfast (cups of urine) / lesbian lineage
Managing the murders / alien lineage
The wind-up corpse (clockwork corpse)
Tom is not really into computers; he just loves the feel of the keyboard keys on his sweating finger-tips.
We made the corpse up to look like Marilyn Monroe
Sid J has quit smoking Dream Sticks
There she goes, the queen of the car parks
Trailer tash (handlebar)
The flask of animal urine got spilled all over the boudoir floor
Jazz mouths / child’s Ouija board
1992:- people come for the fur coats / 1992 people came for the fur coats
Sexy ugly lads being paraded in front of the new students
We encouraged the lads to grown moustaches to enable them to blend in better
Diagonal Pakistani
We leave with mouths sown up
Royal sweat water (GOB)
discussing something incredibly puerile after watching a very serious and sombre movie about the death of everything
don’t dance on your homosexual instincts
what do people who live underground visualise when they contemplate the sun?
our backwards faces took on a whole new meaning when exposed to the children of Raleigh
one by one their caramel moustaches fell off and left them looking like children
crass holocaust / barbaric document
Familiarising yourself with End Times essay / life in Cowpoke town
we found a leper’s diary wrapped up in some old blood-stained rags
his face had slowly imploded due to exposure to Jack R (E) (Horse Family) / they’re horse family
she never did crash the car, it just looked that way
end of leisure
the fallacy of reality (I am I am)
I have an animal brain- I live from moment to moment
Horse poetry / the pretend dog (pretending to be a dog)
Spoon-fed ghost / Moog © champion
The Christmas deaths / Umbro colostomy bag
clockwork hoss; Manchester City
death of a travelling pornographic actor / method actor buying a penguin (Muslim slut)
tip-toeing ‘round the moon / slut of Israel
the bloody rags of wounded alligator (nothing here, chaps…go home and eat your fried foodstuff)
cheeky forced smile of the teething child / forgotten dogma of radio slut
forcing children to paint their own teeth / Pakistani Archive
ruptured injection / a million-or-so tiny moving images in your tiny little brain
S:- hit me like you want to / confusing sweat for tears / men on the moon
Methodist actor / radio-friendly baby
Bookslut + Bookworm / Joe Meek’s man boobs
Make a note of symptons and hand it to Death Row officer / why no burn books?
A writer no one reads deciding to end nothing now / savage messiah
The Pinocchio theory / Lenin’s tomb
Lost Kids find the existence machine / Danny Bryne’s Bliss-Out Year
Medical on Saturday / meek tits
Time for peace (lucky dagger) / gorgeous chicken
Occupied by birth / the old man got out his collection of photos of enormous corpses which he took himself
This gorgeous corpse of ours (rooftop cadaver) / where has my god-damn catepillar log gone?
Mong champion / podgy corpse
Sweating on the moon / we decided to integrate the humanoid into society by giving him a job at the local diner
…as we approached the moon we began to sweat black liquid / cherub’s elbows are very podgy and fat
Christmas dinner consisted of sandwiches and duck bread / living in a greasy hole (in Mercury Village
Mercurial implants / King Queen Baby Mushrooms Spastic Helicopter (AIA Superman 6)
Chiselling statues of cherubs to make them look less corpulent / calypso elbow
Do you want to have fun? / a green-headed boy who can see past the future (of electronics)
Christopher and the seeping apple gas / relics of cowboy
Lunch time boner / Junior Ouija
He knows a lot of esoteric words but he doesn’t know what context to use them in / casino genes
Do you wish you were the milkman? / in prison with Omar Bongo
Americans carrying around vinyl copies of ‘We love to share a bed with you’ by AGCG
AGCG and hottish summer / bath time for Spengler
Sharing bath tub with man who looks like Yul Bryner / I tried to love you but instead I broke you
Lick my moustache—it feels so hot / Jewish Hash
Lazy carcass / infant terrorist
Jewel-encrusted corpse / 0 – swollen wednesday
Crisis of confidence w/ plastic kid / prison bondoogle
The velvet-eyed children / went to bed with plastic dog in one hand
Onion pulse / desert gland (deserted gland)
Skanky monkey / dog in one hand
Girl with no teeth / thick twitch
Pink eclipse AKA pink apocalypse / indigenious corpse
Sweet sonority / plastic pipes
The sweet dragon of your youth / duck trumpet
May I have a glass of toes please (life at the toe bar)
Cheese on my face / kinky utopia
Mouthy women from Japanese factory / disco address (addressing the disco dancers on a Saturday night)
Welcome back to The Crumbly Kids / ignored by humanoid (human ration)
The eyes gave away the fact that he was hooked on judo
Imbred bean / I got a list of priorities; and one of ‘em is to see you die
Yellow - - Pork (inside of the nothingness) / stuck in boondocks with one hand missing its fingers (Moon Paw)
I am inside your mind; I am tropical fearmonger (afraid of acid rain) / acid module (and he lives inside your head)
Boredom inside the womb (1988) / succumbing to the influence of doubt
Permanent recluse / and now we take off the mask to reveal the new boyfriend
At last.. a vacation (4.4 Organ Bob AKA Organ Bobby) / Bobbies Organs
Police gums / encouraging children to paint their teeth
Permanently lost in Aberdeenshire village / twitching gob dog
Let’s modernise / chicken sugar
Aware of the presence of rats / corpse in the engine room
Something that you’re not used to makes you feel happy (like a naked lady dancing in the sun)
Are you a Dandy man or a Beano man? / the grinning alligator
Hiding from Merman / we stayed under the couch with the three Geeks
Ostrich pettles littered the basement floor / the man with the alligator smile
In an alsation’s dinner / fall into January Man (name changed at behest of Irie copper)
Wrapped up in former lovers of Mehmet Jackson / ghostly steps (ghost steps)
Googling you / goo all over the prisoner’s eyelids
I just smelt the old house / I though I told you to turn off the TV show
That’s incredible..you can’t even see the wires / retirement of fire
Wired spaniels / watching a re-make of Wizard of Oz with the sound turned down
If you look away now you won’t be able to see their insipid faces / retirement chair got broke into a hundred-or-so pieces
The pieces of corpse littered the highway
You love your mother don’t you, you love her more than the sunshine (the aroma of your sweet candy fills the enclosure)
Sunshine cobras with bears smoking everything they can get their hands on / Arab trap
..an Arab tripping on acid whilst sanding down his wooden horse
Sour well (2) / x marks the crush of xmas
The ancient engines of Doomsday machine / taking photos of Tom’s dodgy face with my new camera phone
Long-forgotten chronicles of Nellipot villager / dad hid the dynamite
Abandoned bumbag / birth of a space ape
Church yard sonnets / lye dogs
The incredible mind of Master-Blaster / thunder muppet
Half a corpse floating in the blood-red sea / the crimson eggs
..so we glued a photo of my lover to the backdoor to attract the curious kids / anaemic smile of sullen child
Tacky bible stories / fidgeting in the bungalow / historic dogs (worm cave)
Jandek has feelings (tick box here) / Welsh pack-up (Leek sandwich and sheep nuggets)
Hair is your hair / it will cost you ten pence to view the photo of the deceased king
I’d like to thank Noel for filling in for me when I lost my trousers / bog-standard corpse
I got God wrapped around my little finger / cubist disco
The gay astronaut / erotic spastic
Damaged beans / a word count produced seventeen examples of the word ‘corpse’
Is It time for the word count (new born nothing) / wee on my face, sweet princess
Newborn baby floating around the hospital like a feather / the twitching corpse
I am rather surprised that you met a good woman at the last outpost / why didn’t they make the Chewbacca action figure furry?
Are you a Sunday lover? / his name was absent from the hospital rejection list
Ramblings of a dead man / obscene Jacobite (all the hospital clocks are falling off the wall)
Bucket full of shopping lists / Polydor bracket (count 0)
- - Psychology word county operation number 01 -- 71 occurences of the word ‘corpse’
--“ 3 occurences of the word ‘engine’
Psycho’s trophy
Life and death of Jackie Stallone / sampling the poison
She glued her gloves to her hands so she would not misplace them on the way home from Job fair (Africa )
We lost the script so we just read from the kids guide to the New Testament (1986 edition)
We lost our minds-then we got them back again on the way home from African art exhibition
Rappers from council estates getting shunned by posh restaurants (even though they are good at rapping and get in the charts)
Peas on my plate indicate wrong order (I ordered cabbage) / over half of the population of Mars are gay
We arrived at new planet to find all of the inhabitants were cartoon characters
My furry stubbly mouth / dancing on Tom Cat’s grave
Iggy Pop in the time machine / I love my neighbour and I am happy to share my head with him
Sue – Nod your head if you will be alive tomorrow / we lifted up the sheets to find Jesus ‘enjoying himself’
Northen discipline / Northen disciple
A carefree duck being shot into space / car full of cancer addicts
He left his back-up mattress exposed to the spicy acid rain
Poured out like newborn liquid baby / we kept the liquid baby in a glass jar by the side of our freezing cottage
Will I still be able to masturbate when I enter the spirit world? / lions review
I presumed spirit world would sell tobacco / we made the leper very angry by pinching his sunglasses
Standing on the edge of the moon wondering whether to jump back down to earth / I challenged Eartha Kitt to a game of pool
The astronaut found it very difficult to masturbate in zero gravity / ozone layer cake
When do iget to be the golden astronaut?
Bad piece of smile